My lotto is gone

Seunie9

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I write alot here , we spayed two cats two weeks ago everything was fine and even more than fine , the site of incision was infected and she took 3 times antibiotics , 1 ml each time this small amount the last one was thursday , she was fine friday and lethargic saturday, early morning sunday we went to the vet and did xray , there was severe pneumonia , some said it's chronic and some said it's the medics but it's too severe for the medics ( she spit out more of it ) , she was on oxygen for 30 hours not even a slight improvement , nothing she is wheezing , she wanted to escape and die on the ground , but we kept the oxygen and stayed for one night in two clinics then bought oxygen for him so she can breath in home and in the taxi , but if we raised the mask for a minute cyanosis happened , we chose euthanasia for less pain , after the anaesthesia before euthanasia she coughed blood but the vet gave her the euthanasia to make sure it happened
I lost senie may 2021 , just few months ago and after neutering operation but this was the vet's fault but this time we went to the most professional vet here and the operation was done smoothly
I am hopeless , I don't know if I am gonna make it through the night , it's so hard
 

Meowmee

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I am so sorry for your loss of Lotto, that is tragic. 💔 run free sweet Lotto, watch over your mom. 🌈🐾❤🐈

I don’t know what could have caused this, I hope it wasn’t dvm error again, but you did everything you could for her. Try to go easy on yourself. This is a terrible thing to live with. In time I hope the pain will be less and easier to bear. Let your other kitty give you comfort if you have another. If not consider a new companion when you are ready. It will not replace Lotto of course but it will help you to feel better. Hugs ❤
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Maria Bayote

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Oh no...

My heart aches for you. Yes, this is so sad and tragic.
Please accept my deepest condolences. I am so sorry for your loss, for what you and your cat have to go through.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Lotto, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

The two of you fought so hard, but this battle could not be won. Her tiny body could no longer support her great heart and loving spirit. But you, so brave as you are, walked her to the Gate between this Adventure and her Next Great Adventure. You sent her with your love to guide her way. Now, from That Place Where All things Are Known, she sends her love for you, translated and purified into Love, to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides. She is with you still.
 

di and bob

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I cry for your pain, for two such tragedies to happen in one person's life is almost incomprehensible. Words will never erase your pain, but perhaps knowing there are others out there that have had tragedy in their lives and are here to help you with yours will bring a small amount of relief.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. There was nothing you could have done more. You did everything you were supposed to do and something happened to make it turn for the worse. I shudder every time I let a newly spayed feral out of the trap, knowing that if she takes a turn, there will be no one there to help her unless I can catch her again. You were there for your girl and she knew it. She is at peace because she carries your love. The bond of love you carry will never be taken from you, she will forever occupy a part of your soul because love is spiritual, so eternal.
I can tell you with certainty, time is the only thing that helps with grief, it dulls the sharp edges and brings about a lessening of your burden. Be gentle with yourself, there are still those in your life who need and love you. Concentrate on routine and getting through the day. Know in your heart the sun will come up tomorrow and the world goes on, and your little girl will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers....RIP sweet Lotto. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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Seunie9

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I cry for your pain, for two such tragedies to happen in one person's life is almost incomprehensible. Words will never erase your pain, but perhaps knowing there are others out there that have had tragedy in their lives and are here to help you with yours will bring a small amount of relief.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. There was nothing you could have done more. You did everything you were supposed to do and something happened to make it turn for the worse. I shudder every time I let a newly spayed feral out of the trap, knowing that if she takes a turn, there will be no one there to help her unless I can catch her again. You were there for your girl and she knew it. She is at peace because she carries your love. The bond of love you carry will never be taken from you, she will forever occupy a part of your soul because love is spiritual, so eternal.
I can tell you with certainty, time is the only thing that helps with grief, it dulls the sharp edges and brings about a lessening of your burden. Be gentle with yourself, there are still those in your life who need and love you. Concentrate on routine and getting through the day. Know in your heart the sun will come up tomorrow and the world goes on, and your little girl will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers....RIP sweet Lotto. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
I just think life won't go on , I feel like I killed her , I don't with this dose of meds , it was 1 ml can u imagine , just 1 ml , the vet told me it's impossible to cause this damage , but others say maybe , I don't know anything , I even feeling bad for fighting with oxygen for 24 hours like she was in pain , I feel lost , mom is very sad because lotto is her fav girl in the whole world , but u know mom is even afraid abt me , it's been just one day and I feel I am dead
 
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Seunie9

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I am so sorry for your loss of Lotto, that is tragic. 💔 run free sweet Lotto, watch over your mom. 🌈🐾❤🐈

I don’t know what could have caused this, I hope it wasn’t dvm error again, but you did everything you could for her. Try to go easy on yourself. This is a terrible thing to live with. In time I hope the pain will be less and easier to bear. Let your other kitty give you comfort if you have another. If not consider a new companion when you are ready. It will not replace Lotto of course but it will help you to feel better. Hugs ❤View attachment 408718
Even my other cats feel sad , we can't just act normal not just acting normal but we can't eat or drink , it's been just a day and I slept then woke up screaming and searching for her
 

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I am very sorry for your sudden loss and remember your post of yesterday about the pneumonia. Please stop trying to work this around to where it could have been your fault. Even the vet told you that you did no damage with the medication. In these kinds of losses, I always think that something else was at play, not diagnosed and not through anyone's fault, which caused the complications. If you had not helped her to try to fight this, you would have been saying that you did not give her every chance possible...,and you certainly did give her every chance.
 
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Seunie9

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I am very sorry for your sudden loss and remember your post of yesterday about the pneumonia. Please stop trying to work this around to where it could have been your fault. Even the vet told you that you did no damage with the medication. In these kinds of losses, I always think that something else was at play, not diagnosed and not through anyone's fault, which caused the complications. If you had not helped her to try to fight this, you would have been saying that you did not give her every chance possible...,and you certainly did give her every chance.
I can't stop thinking it's my fault , the fact that I tried w her , and there was no signs before pr even no signs after the operation , but this happened two days after I gave him the medication , could it be just accidental , it's too much to deal with really
 

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Don't try to deal with it right now, you can't....just hold on, time will help clear your mind. It takes a long time to heal a broken heart. It hurts so bad, but it does get better. Just take a deep breathe. I am SO sorry....
 
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Seunie9

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Don't try to deal with it right now, you can't....just hold on, time will help clear your mind. It takes a long time to heal a broken heart. It hurts so bad, but it does get better. Just take a deep breathe. I am SO sorry....
I am trying to think this didn't happen at all , it's just a bad dream , cz everytime I get excited abt big event in my life something happens makes me wanna die , I am just afraid to be happy anymore
 

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Usually I have words of comfort for other people who is grieving, but this tragedy really left me speechless, I have no words, only tears.
I'm so sorry for your Lotto, and am sorry because I have no helpful words for you. This pain is too strong for me too.
RIP Lotto, be close to your mom, she needs you.
 
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Seunie9

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Usually I have words of comfort for other people who is grieving, but this tragedy really left me speechless, I have no words, only tears.
I'm so sorry for your Lotto, and am sorry because I have no helpful words for you. This pain is too strong for me too.
RIP Lotto, be close to your mom, she needs you.
It breaks my heart hundred times , I deny all of this then can't go on , I feel I am just a dead body , I can't move or even cry , I was wrong at first place for having 7 cats , I must have known they will die and maybe die early too
 
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Seunie9

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You are not alone. I feel the same way right now. I hope this hell ends for both of us. I'll pray for us both....
I will pray for u too ,no one deserves this pain , no one can deal with these feelings of guilt and sadness
 

fionasmom

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Having multiple cats means you tried to help more than one little creature and that is all. You were not wrong and there was no connection that meant they would die early. Please try to be kind to yourself and remember all that you did for your cats.
 

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I am trying to think this didn't happen at all , it's just a bad dream , cz everytime I get excited abt big event in my life something happens makes me wanna die , I am just afraid to be happy anymore
I would go to the rainbow bridge site for pet loss forum, there are numerous people who are in the same pain and you can get a lot of support there. I went there when my Tess and wizard left me, it helped tremendously. Did it take away my pain completely, no, but it helped so much to talk to others who were in the same pain, grief and guilt.

Sometimes telling someone not to feel something, it was not your fault or dvm fault etc. does not help, you have to express those feelings and come to terms with it somehow. And sometimes it was dvm fault and it helps to talk with others who have been through similar events. Oddly enough with Wizard there was no major dvm fault but there was some and I also just still had the normal guilt we all feel. When I went there for Tess years before they had a weekly chat with a candle lighting which helped so much, I don’t think they have that now. When I went there for Wizard I also talked about my other kitties with tragic deaths.
Another thing I started with Byron was writing a journal, I wrote to him for over a year talking about what happened and many other things. You can try that. His death was a murder really, total dvm error and it traumatized me forever. He bled out in my arms after they pierced his spleen, knew it and released him, fortunately I was able to get him to another dvm closer to euthanize. It is still very painful and I try not to think about it. But the pain lessened in time and I had to keep it together and live on for my other kitties and family etc.
 

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It breaks my heart hundred times , I deny all of this then can't go on , I feel I am just a dead body , I can't move or even cry , I was wrong at first place for having 7 cats , I must have known they will die and maybe die early too
You are giving 7 cats a better chance of life. You're not doing anything wrong.
They will all die before us, pets have a shorter life than we have, but this will give us the chance to save more pets in our lives. This is our mission, and we have to accomplish it the best we can.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad, but I can assure you you'll feel better.

I wanted to die when the cat in my profile photo left me nealry 5 years ago. But I'm here, and I have helped so many cats in these 5 years, all cats that would have probably died if it wasn't for me. That was my mission, that's why I didn't die that day along with my cat.

Be strong!
 
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Seunie9

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You are giving 7 cats a better chance of life. You're not doing anything wrong.
They will all die before us, pets have a shorter life than we have, but this will give us the chance to save more pets in our lives. This is our mission, and we have to accomplish it the best we can.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad, but I can assure you you'll feel better.

I wanted to die when the cat in my profile photo left me nealry 5 years ago. But I'm here, and I have helped so many cats in these 5 years, all cats that would have probably died if it wasn't for me. That was my mission, that's why I didn't die that day along with my cat.

Be strong!
I hope I will feel better , and I hope my two babies rest in peace they were so young , lotto is just 2yo
 
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