My Journey Towards Better Health

[foxxycat]

They aren't going to yank you out of your home, in the middle of the night or any other time. Like I said, you're an adult and they can't make you do anything you don't want to do.

But you should take advantage of all the resources they have to help you.

THIS. No one is going to yank you out of bed. This isn't a dictatorship. That's part of our rights-as adults-to think for ourselves. All they can do is leave you with phone numbers/forms to fill out for maybe fuel assistance, or other support. They can't make you leave your home. You are over 18 therefore the state can't force you to do anything.

 

[rubysmama]

No one is going to yank you out of bed.

Or make you do anything you don't want to do. The below quote is from the FAQ of the site I posted the link to yesterday.

What if the vulnerable adult refuses help?
Adults with mental capacity have the right to exercise free choice in deciding whether to accept services. If an adult appears to be capable of understanding the risks and chooses to stay in an abusive or neglectful situation, this can be a difficult decision for others to understand. APS will offer services and try to convince the adult to accept help. If there are questions about the adult’s mental capacity, then a mental health evaluation will be pursued to determine if court-ordered interventions should be provided.

New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS)

 

[foxxycat]

Or make you do anything you don't want to do. The below quote is from the FAQ of the site I posted the link to yesterday.

What if the vulnerable adult refuses help?
Adults with mental capacity have the right to exercise free choice in deciding whether to accept services. If an adult appears to be capable of understanding the risks and chooses to stay in an abusive or neglectful situation, this can be a difficult decision for others to understand. APS will offer services and try to convince the adult to accept help. If there are questions about the adult’s mental capacity, then a mental health evaluation will be pursued to determine if court-ordered interventions should be provided.

New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS)

rubysmama Thank you for posting this information.

 

[catsknowme]

M maggiedemi ..... Please be assured that as long as you have mental capacity, it is your decision how you live. No one can just barge in and "yank you out" - even if someone was incapable of deciding for themselves, there would have to be hearings and the person would be appointed a public defender who would argue on their behalf. (I worked in a CA public defender's office that handled conservatorship cases).
The most that would likely happen is that YOU could request in-home healthcare services. : Home Care - Information for Consumers

As far as any other concerns, that would be more like code enforcement and your brothers' plans to help with clean-up and renovating will cover that issue. Also, keep your TCS family in mind - you can always PM us for moral support. I do agree with the others here that God is providing for you and brighter days are ahead!!

 

[maggiedemi]

Good morning darling! It's hot as hell out this morning!

It was so hot last night that I was sweating, even with the window open.

No one can just barge in and "yank you out"

This is what I was worried about, because I've been through so much. I need some time with no stress and no strangers around. My blood pressure top number is 143, which is stage 1 Hypertension. I definitely want my own place, but I also need to heal and de-stress first.

I tried some Ensure Plus. You can definitely tell that it has more fat, 11 grams. It tastes like a creamy milkshake. The High Protein one only had 2 grams of fat and wasn't as good.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

I tried some Ensure Plus. You can definitely tell that it has more fat, 11 grams. It tastes like a creamy milkshake. The High Protein one only had 2 grams of fat and wasn't as good.

~ Ensure is good. I think now it has omega 3 fatty acid. We need some fat - even if on a diet.

 

[catsknowme]

M maggiedemi .... I am with you on keeping government and strangers out of your life! I was raised rural so what some might consider spooky & isolation, I consider private & peaceful. However, I have signed my disabled daughter up for in-hime health care and have found the aides to be very Non-judgmental - trust me, they are used to much worse than you can imagine and thus have developed "thick skins". The aides quickly become like family which is good because we live with my elderly mom and she was adamant for years at not allowing strangers inside. You would need to discuss with your parents about using having a service provider in your home & then ask a county rep to describe the services & the procedure. In my experience, the county workers got into the business because they are compassionate and want to help.

 

[maggiedemi]

You would need to discuss with your parents about using having a service provider in your home & then ask a county rep to describe the services & the procedure.

I don't really need any home healthcare. I'm getting up and around well. In 2 weeks I can start to do some housework I think. That will be 6 weeks from my surgery. I just need their help for when I want to move out, find housing and a job.

 

[catsknowme]

You are doing a great job with goal setting and looking out for yourself!! Perhaps you will qualify for vocational training - the Fed offers a website to help give information. Although that for a later day, here is the link if you are interested;
https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/training/disabilitytraining:hellocomputer:

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Do I legally have to let them inside? My brothers were going to remodel the bathroom and get rid of the clutter. But they didn't have time yet. This is a disaster. I can't take much more stress. I want them to leave me alone.

Call your caseworker, I think she can better tell you what's what. I don't want to accidentally steer you wrong.

But remember that they want to help you. Let them help.

I do eventually want to leave, but I was thinking of taking a course to be a receptionist that starts this winter. Only thing is, I hate driving in bad weather, and I would have to learn to drive my dad's standard truck. It looks impossibly hard to drive.

I can do housework in another 2 weeks probably. I think somebody said 6 weeks after my surgery.

I had a panic attack. I don't want strangers yanking me out of my home in the middle of the night. I've been through too much already and can't take anymore stress. I'll let you know what they say tomorrow when I call them.

They aren't going to yank you out of your home, in the middle of the night or any other time. Like I said, you're an adult and they can't make you do anything you don't want to do.

But you should take advantage of all the resources they have to help you.

Below is an excerpt from Adult Protective Services (APS) | OCFS.

As you can see, they help with a lot of different things, including assistance obtaining benefits. So try not to worry too much, and instead try to prepare a list of things they might be able to help you with - like dental assistance, educational courses, financial aid, etc.

"Services provided (directly or through referral) may range from safety monitoring, linkages with other service providers (health, mental health, aging, etc.), assistance in obtaining benefits, informal money management, to appointment as a representative payee, to petitioning a court for appointment as a guardian or for some other legal intervention."

M maggiedemi ..... Please be assured that as long as you have mental capacity, it is your decision how you live. No one can just barge in and "yank you out" - even if someone was incapable of deciding for themselves, there would have to be hearings and the person would be appointed a public defender who would argue on their behalf. (I worked in a CA public defender's office that handled conservatorship cases).
The most that would likely happen is that YOU could request in-home healthcare services. : Home Care - Information for Consumers

As far as any other concerns, that would be more like code enforcement and your brothers' plans to help with clean-up and renovating will cover that issue. Also, keep your TCS family in mind - you can always PM us for moral support. I do agree with the others here that God is providing for you and brighter days are ahead!!

I don't really need any home healthcare. I'm getting up and around well. In 2 weeks I can start to do some housework I think. That will be 6 weeks from my surgery. I just need their help for when I want to move out, find housing and a job.

Hi M maggiedemi . I hope you don't mind me adding some thoughts; I know we don't know each other well.

I linked to the above comments as I feel they are important for today, if you call your caseworker, or even if you call whomever left their business card for you.

Everything right now, in my opinion, will work best if it is done at your own set pace and by your own choices, so the best thing you can do today is to let the people trying to help you know what you want, what you feel you need, and most importantly, what makes you feel SAFE and LESS STRESSED. They need to know what makes you feel safer, what causes you stress, and they need to know those boundaries. You are really trying to recover from major surgery, there is so much going on for you -- the last thing you (or they) want is for your world to feel out of your control. But you also might want some or several people around you to help, ready if needed or wanted, or programs available for you, when you do decide to get this or that help from them.

People are strong, overcome a lot of things and make great strides, and can know what they want -- but one thing I have learned for myself: both fear and strength can come and go, it never seems to just "step in" and stay there forever. Everything ebbs and flows, even fear and strength.

So, the best you can do to help them help you today, is to let them know what scares you, what makes you mad, what stresses you out at the moment. Tell them what you do want right now and what you don't want or are not ready for or not interested in.

Taking care of you is supposed to be "in their wheelhouse" and now it is just about fine-tuning how to best help you -- they can only do that with your input. There will be a time and place and way for helping now, or helping later. Do it at your pace, but be honest and clear (as best you can!), and don't stop moving forward. There is a way out.

 

[maggiedemi]

I called the lady at Adult Protective Services. She wanted to come out to the house again. But I asked her if I could go there to her office because this isn't my house, it's my parents' house. I could tell she really wanted to see the house, but she said okay, to come tomorrow at 1:30pm. It's a pretty long drive, about an hour from here. Hopefully this will be it and they won't make any more surprise visits, but you never know. My brothers will probably be coming sometime in October to remodel, when I can safely do housework and help them with the sorting. My cats have to go to the vet too.

 

[maggiedemi]

Oh, and the vacuum cleaner broke!
I tell ya, it's just one thing after another.

 

[foxxycat]

M maggiedemi hoping for a peaceful sleep tonight and that it's just the typical mumble jumble from the ABC agencies...that's your right-speak up if they make a request that won't wrk for you...asking for help doesn't mean you are weak-it also doesn't mean they have to post conditions that have to be met-because you are able bodied-you have the right to speak up and say,

"no thanks but thanks for thinking about me"

I think as time goes on this fall-maybe they could offer therapy for whoever would like to take it...not a bad idea to have an additional person to talk to about the things that scare you..plus they know how to work the services and aid better than any of us do.

I am so proud of you for making that phone call! You are still advocating for yourself! You made the call that sounded scary but as time goes on, it will get easier...I promise!

 

[catsknowme]

Bravo for making that call AND arranging the meeting on YOUR terms!! You've done your dad proud
I hope that Maggie & Demi are okay - please let us know how the vet visit goes.
You are keeping us all updated and we appreciate that very, very much.

 

[maggiedemi]

I am so proud of you for making that phone call!

Thanks pal.

I hope that Maggie & Demi are okay - please let us know how the vet visit goes.

They are okay, they just need vaccine updates, de-worming, ears cleaned, nails trimmed, and I will probably have the vet put the Frontline on because I can't pick them up yet.

Bravo for making that call AND arranging the meeting on YOUR terms!!

Thank you. I guess my dad & I are leaving early tomorrow, so we can go to lunch and walk around a bit before the meeting. I haven't been to that town in years. It's the town an hour away with the courthouse and the welfare/social services buildings.

 

[danteshuman]

I hope you find some small moments of joy today.

 

[maggiedemi]

I hope you find some small moments of joy today.

Aww, that's so sweet. Yeah, it's hard with all the little stressful things that are going on adding up to a lot of stress. I just got 6 medical bills in the mail that I am supposed to get them to rebill to Medicaid. I have nobody to help me with this. I hope I don't have to call 6 different places on the phone, and it's so hard to get people to hear info correctly on the phone. I'm going to ask at the social services building tomorrow if there is anybody there who can help me with this.

 

[neely]

I'm going to ask at the social services building tomorrow if there is anybody there who can help me with this.

I was going to suggest the same thing but you beat me to it. Great minds think alike! I would also bring the bills with you for reference purposes. Good luck tomorrow, we'll keep you in our thoughts.

 

[catsknowme]

Aww, that's so sweet. Yeah, it's hard with all the little stressful things that are going on adding up to a lot of stress. I just got 6 medical bills in the mail that I am supposed to get them to rebill to Medicaid. I have nobody to help me with this. I hope I don't have to call 6 different places on the phone, and it's so hard to get people to hear info correctly on the phone. I'm going to ask at the social services building tomorrow if there is anybody there who can help me with this.

If you cannot find anyone locally to help you, call your state representative's office and ask them to find somebody for you. Here in CA, that would be your assemblyperson.

 

[rubysmama]

I hope you and your Dad have a nice day today, and that your meeting goes well. Make sure you have a list of things you'd like to bring up with them, as if you're anything like me, once you're in the meeting, you'll forget things.