I am so sorry, Cindy. The Artie box is beautiful and a wonderful way to remember him. Take care.
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It Has Been A Week...
- Thread starter artiemom
- Start Date
I am so glad that I have found you. I have been waiting and hoping. You may not feel it but my heart is right beside you.
Oh, that precious pawprint! His little spot is lovely, as are you, and as is he. I love you.
What a beautiful tribute display. You are still in my thoughts.
Don't forget that I am up in the Deep Darks of the night. Call me if you need a voice in the wee hours.
That is a lovely memorial. I have a similar thing for my Hector but it hurt me too much to keep her ashes so she's buried in a pet cemetery in the countryside I know how empty the house feels after loosing a loved one.
For me, I just felt I had to get a new friend. That's how I found Indy, she isn't Hector but watching her grow up and living with her I realize how much she really is like Hector. Somehow it's like a bit of Hector is living inside her.
I know you probably aren't ready yet but when you are perhaps you too will open the door to a new friend too.
For me, I just felt I had to get a new friend. That's how I found Indy, she isn't Hector but watching her grow up and living with her I realize how much she really is like Hector. Somehow it's like a bit of Hector is living inside her.
I know you probably aren't ready yet but when you are perhaps you too will open the door to a new friend too.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #29
AbbysMom
Thanks for thinking of me.. i guess I am doing ok.. I miss Artie terribly. Still get teary eyed at times. The past few days have been bad...
I never imagined how much of my time he took up: with entertainment, company, cuddling, laughing, brushing... just loving...
The apartment is empty. I have so much time on my hands; I do not know what to do with myself.
Thinking I will go back to volunteering with the shelter-- soon...
I have been up to Angell, to donate and visit the kitties in the adoption area.. all of them greeted me...
I have also been up to PetSmart 3 times... one time to donate things, another 2 times to return food-- resulting in visiting the kitties also... again, they all greeted me.. Today, was nap time, so they were sleeping...
One of these days, I may be able to post in the Bridge thread.. but.. I do not know if I will be able to do so...
I have been reading a lot of the posts on the site; not really being able to conscientiously post a coherent thought or suggestion on things.. still too raw for me...
I miss Artie.. I miss his love, his mischief, even just brushing him, and medicating him.. He has been the one constant in my crazy life, for the past 6 years...
I comprehend that grief takes time.. that is all: time... I have no regrets, none at all...
just the selfish part of me which misses him.. but Artie was in pain.. he was suffering. There was no way out of it for him.. nothing medicine could do, to help him.. nothing I could do, to help him....
Sometimes I look back, and feel that I, perhaps caused this last attack... by giving him his 'treats' which he loved.. However, then I tell myself, that Artie had been sick for so long... and his getting the approval for eating the Fancy Feast, was his way of being on hospice care... we had tried everything... and the hospice care was not really maintaining him: his fur loss, his vomiting, his itchiness... so, the end was inevitable...
Sometimes, I even wonder if that darned bell was still stuck in him.. and not showing up on the x-ray...
But, these are torture thoughts... not something I need/should be doing...
Artie had a good life with me... tons of medicine, but he was so spoiled...
While cleaning up his things, I could not believe how much I had bought for him: toys, food, supplies... wow.. I really went overboard.... I still have a few more things to give/put away... this week.....
Eventually, I think I would like to adopt again; Not as a replacement... nothing could ever replace Artie.. but perhaps to somehow honor Artie by adopting another kitty.. Maybe, this one will be younger and healthier????? That is, if it is in the Stars...
For some reason, I have had 2 cats... both cats have been sick, from day one... I need a break... or am I the 'one' who is always going to have the sick cats?? because I am able to take care of them??
Anyway... I miss the companionship..
I miss the love, the laughter... the just looking and seeing someone watching what I am doing.. the company...
Thanks for asking... it is going to take a while...
the support from this site has been tremendous.. thank you... to all....
((hugs))
We are with you. Every moment, every day. You are NOT alone! Love you, Dear Heart Sister. So very much.
The treats? No, you were doing what you could to make Artie happy. The bell? You did what you needed to and got him to the vet to get it checked out. I know you know all that, but at times it's tough not to think about it.
You don't have to make a Bridge thread if you don't feel up to it, or you can make it a year from now. No pressure from anyone.
We lost my Molly the day before Thanksgiving. Of course I was devastated. I cried for weeks. I would take out the sympathy cards, read them over and just cry. I was home alone all day and things were just so empty. Our house was up for sale then and we knew it wouldn't be fair to adopt a cat just to move them. We closed on this house on the 23rd of December, had Christmas, then left on the 26th to Ireland for 12 days. We came home to rooms filled with boxes and chaos and again said that it wouldn't be fair to adopt a cat until things were more settled. I could not take the emptiness and loneliness and adopted Abby on January 13th of that year. I still felt a little guilty when I adopted her that I was somehow betraying Abby, but I needed a little furry friend. I wanted a younger, healthier cat that looked nothing like Molly.
After all of my worries, she was fine with living in the chaos of boxes -
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will get there. It's not easy, but you will. Some day another furry friend may come along and it may feel right and it will be OK. It's OK to want a healthy cat. If you do get another, no matter what, that's going to be one lucky cat.
You don't have to make a Bridge thread if you don't feel up to it, or you can make it a year from now. No pressure from anyone.
We lost my Molly the day before Thanksgiving. Of course I was devastated. I cried for weeks. I would take out the sympathy cards, read them over and just cry. I was home alone all day and things were just so empty. Our house was up for sale then and we knew it wouldn't be fair to adopt a cat just to move them. We closed on this house on the 23rd of December, had Christmas, then left on the 26th to Ireland for 12 days. We came home to rooms filled with boxes and chaos and again said that it wouldn't be fair to adopt a cat until things were more settled. I could not take the emptiness and loneliness and adopted Abby on January 13th of that year. I still felt a little guilty when I adopted her that I was somehow betraying Abby, but I needed a little furry friend. I wanted a younger, healthier cat that looked nothing like Molly.
After all of my worries, she was fine with living in the chaos of boxes -
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will get there. It's not easy, but you will. Some day another furry friend may come along and it may feel right and it will be OK. It's OK to want a healthy cat. If you do get another, no matter what, that's going to be one lucky cat.
Because of you, Artie had at least one more good year, probably more. You are one of very few people who could (and would) administer all the medications Artie needed. It was clearly meant to be, the day he found his way into your life. 
And someday another lucky cat will burrow its way into your heart and home. And Artie will be happy to know his "mom" isn't lonely anymore.
And someday another lucky cat will burrow its way into your heart and home. And Artie will be happy to know his "mom" isn't lonely anymore.
Volunteering is great when you feel up to doing that. Please take time to take care of yourself first
When the time is right, a cat or two will come your way
Leroy arrived exactly one year to the hour of my previous cat's passing.
Just checking in to send love and hugs.
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Thinking of you, sending hugs and special thoughts for all you have done to enrich our lives by sharing your precious ginger boy with us. We miss him too and we are here to support you in any way possible. Take all the time you need, we're not going anywhere.
Take all the time you need, we're not going anywhere. - Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #36
thank you.. I had a major breakdown last night.. It was a major one... lasting a long time... and continues this morning....
I really miss, "my Artie".... so much..
his company.. just his being... kind of popping in to visit, whatever I was doing.. ... walking all over me... his purring.. his softness, his love... his silliness....his fur... Artie's ability to make me feel loved... his warmth.. His trilling, when he jumped on my bed--walking all over me..
His tapping my shoulder to get up... his meowing in my ear... his cuddling, right up against me..
still second guessing myself for somethings.. but I do not have any regrets about all I did for Artie...
just the normal wishing, that I if only I could have done something to extend his time with me... and to stop his suffering.. but; that was an impossibility... I am still going through the stages of grief... and I will always miss My Artie...
almost everything of his is gone.. just a few more things, which I hope to give away this week... finding pieces of litter, here and there--- putting them in a empty pill container, along with any stray pieces of fur, I may find.. I found a whisker-- saved it...
I also have a lot of his fur... from his brush.. and his nail clippers... a few stray clippings, I found on Saturday...
Sometimes wishing I could clone him from these DNA specimens.. but...
Some people are telling me to hold on to the large thing, scratchers, stairs... but, honestly, the memories are hurting, at this point.. just reminders of things which cannot ever be again...
I have one relative who is telling me to adopt... and kind of soon... because I am alone... she has 2 cats
I have a friend who will not strongly voice her opinion, but wants me to do whatever it is I feel I need to do... when I feel I need to do it...She wants me to make up my own decision.. and not listen to others...she knows how much I loved Artie, and what he meant to me.
I have a close friend, who knows that I am planning to move, next year. The apartment options are limited due to income.. and there are even slimmer rental opportunities for anyone with a pet... She has flat out told me, several times, that I CANNOT have a pet... that Artie was it.. She does not want to hurt my feelings, but she wants me to be realistic and not hurt any opportunities for an apartment. She is not an animal person.
This is making me feel even worse..
I keep going up to PetSmart, to look at the cats... this week, I am dropping off some things at Angell, in Boston.. and of course, I will look at the kitties...
I just feel lost and alone... I go out, daily... trying not to spend money... but coming home to an empty apartment, devoid of love, is just a cold feeling to me...
It is so unfathomable, realizing how much time Artie took up.. how much energy, thought process, shopping, yes-- money... but the love was so rich..
I am still waiting for the dam management company to begin the construction (repointing) of the building. That is going to be so much noise, dust, workmen, everywhere on the outside... If I only knew when they would be starting the job, I could anticipate, when, they may be ending...
The days are really long.. apartment is very empty and loveless..
thanks for thinking of me... just a really bad few days...
I think it was extra bad for me, because Saturday would have been my mom's 95th b-day... and this Sunday is Father's Day... this is all making me feel even more alone... and all the love which I have lost... I am no different than anyone else.. yet, it is really effecting me....
In the past, when I felt this way; I was always able to grab Artie, hug him, cry into his fur... and he allowed it... he knew I needed his love.... now I do not have that....
I am trying.. I am seeking help, I am praying-- so much... it is just a matter of time, to get through this.. time and keeping myself busy...
thanks...
I really miss, "my Artie".... so much..
his company.. just his being... kind of popping in to visit, whatever I was doing.. ... walking all over me... his purring.. his softness, his love... his silliness....his fur... Artie's ability to make me feel loved... his warmth.. His trilling, when he jumped on my bed--walking all over me..
His tapping my shoulder to get up... his meowing in my ear... his cuddling, right up against me..
still second guessing myself for somethings.. but I do not have any regrets about all I did for Artie...
just the normal wishing, that I if only I could have done something to extend his time with me... and to stop his suffering.. but; that was an impossibility... I am still going through the stages of grief... and I will always miss My Artie...
almost everything of his is gone.. just a few more things, which I hope to give away this week... finding pieces of litter, here and there--- putting them in a empty pill container, along with any stray pieces of fur, I may find.. I found a whisker-- saved it...
I also have a lot of his fur... from his brush.. and his nail clippers... a few stray clippings, I found on Saturday...
Sometimes wishing I could clone him from these DNA specimens.. but...
Some people are telling me to hold on to the large thing, scratchers, stairs... but, honestly, the memories are hurting, at this point.. just reminders of things which cannot ever be again...
I have one relative who is telling me to adopt... and kind of soon... because I am alone... she has 2 cats
I have a friend who will not strongly voice her opinion, but wants me to do whatever it is I feel I need to do... when I feel I need to do it...She wants me to make up my own decision.. and not listen to others...she knows how much I loved Artie, and what he meant to me.
I have a close friend, who knows that I am planning to move, next year. The apartment options are limited due to income.. and there are even slimmer rental opportunities for anyone with a pet... She has flat out told me, several times, that I CANNOT have a pet... that Artie was it.. She does not want to hurt my feelings, but she wants me to be realistic and not hurt any opportunities for an apartment. She is not an animal person.
This is making me feel even worse..
I keep going up to PetSmart, to look at the cats... this week, I am dropping off some things at Angell, in Boston.. and of course, I will look at the kitties...
I just feel lost and alone... I go out, daily... trying not to spend money... but coming home to an empty apartment, devoid of love, is just a cold feeling to me...
It is so unfathomable, realizing how much time Artie took up.. how much energy, thought process, shopping, yes-- money... but the love was so rich..
I am still waiting for the dam management company to begin the construction (repointing) of the building. That is going to be so much noise, dust, workmen, everywhere on the outside... If I only knew when they would be starting the job, I could anticipate, when, they may be ending...
The days are really long.. apartment is very empty and loveless..
thanks for thinking of me... just a really bad few days...
I think it was extra bad for me, because Saturday would have been my mom's 95th b-day... and this Sunday is Father's Day... this is all making me feel even more alone... and all the love which I have lost... I am no different than anyone else.. yet, it is really effecting me....
In the past, when I felt this way; I was always able to grab Artie, hug him, cry into his fur... and he allowed it... he knew I needed his love.... now I do not have that....
I am trying.. I am seeking help, I am praying-- so much... it is just a matter of time, to get through this.. time and keeping myself busy...
thanks...
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Would you consider fostering a cat for the time being. It would give you someone to look after that needs help and fill in some of the time for you. It may help you decide if having another cat is the right thing.
My first instinct was to tell you to get another cat sooner than later. Not in any way to replace Artie, but to help heal your broken heart and fill the empty void. My only concern is whether it would affect your apartment choices next year. So for that reason only, maybe you shouldn't rush into adopting right away.
Like V verna davies , the idea of fostering cats came into my mind. With your experience with medicating cats, and also caring for older cats, you would probably be a perfect foster mom for cats who need care and love before they get their fur-ever homes. There's also always pregnant cats and kittens who need fostering.
So maybe if you don't think you'd get too attached and want to keep them all, you could foster for a bit to help fill the emptiness you're feeling, and fill up a lot of your time.
Like V verna davies , the idea of fostering cats came into my mind. With your experience with medicating cats, and also caring for older cats, you would probably be a perfect foster mom for cats who need care and love before they get their fur-ever homes. There's also always pregnant cats and kittens who need fostering.
So maybe if you don't think you'd get too attached and want to keep them all, you could foster for a bit to help fill the emptiness you're feeling, and fill up a lot of your time.
Thinking of you, sending hugs and special thoughts for all you have done to enrich our lives by sharing your precious ginger boy with us. We miss him too and we are here to support you in any way possible.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #40
I thought of fostering---but, I could never give the cat up... it would be fostering to adopt....
And... I really do not want to begin anew with a sick cat.. not on purpose... too heartbreaking for me....
still so unsure of my future....
I do know the management company wants to get into all the apartments, in order to install new kitchen and bathroom cabinets.. ... that takes a full week--where the tenant needs to be gone-- away from their apartment..
So far it is voluntary... who knows about next year... or next level of treatment.
feel as if I am on marked time here... and my mental health is suffering from not knowing... along with missing Artie..
sigh...
And... I really do not want to begin anew with a sick cat.. not on purpose... too heartbreaking for me....
still so unsure of my future....
I do know the management company wants to get into all the apartments, in order to install new kitchen and bathroom cabinets.. ... that takes a full week--where the tenant needs to be gone-- away from their apartment..
So far it is voluntary... who knows about next year... or next level of treatment.
feel as if I am on marked time here... and my mental health is suffering from not knowing... along with missing Artie..
sigh...
