It Has Been A Week...

artiemom

artiemom

Artie, my Angel; a part of my heart
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Hello all..
It will be a full week, this afternoon, since I had to say good bye to Artie..

A week of loss.. emptiness, not knowing what to do with myself.. a week of grief.

I miss Artie so much.. I am not ready to post a tribute in the Bridge Thread.. It is still too raw for me.

I got a call late yesterday afternoon, telling me that Artie is ready to come home. Artie will be coming home today... this afternoon...

I want to thank everyone for all the love, support, condolences.. the private PM's have been overwhelming.. thank you..

I have tried to keep busy by donating a truckload of his things, meds included, to the local humane society, returning what I can of his uneaten food to the stores, and will fill up my trunk again with food, toys, and a couple of small cat scratchers for Angell Memorial..

I cannot believe I had so many things for Artie.. I spoiled him..

I still have a set of cat stairs and a huge cat tree, which I do not know what to do with. No one seems to want them. I have them in my spare room; however...

His bathroom is completely empty-- and is full of echoes.. I have swept, used the Swiffer duster; however, I do not have the heart to do a full vacuum, or do a deep clean around here... I run into some litter-- immediately recognizing it as 'Artie-Litter"... the same with the dust/fur bunnies: "Artie-fur".... I have one spot of lactulose, which I occasionally step on.. thinking of Artie, and how he hated that stuff..

Still slowly washing and putting things away..

The days are so long.. and empty.. the apartment is empty..

Who would have thought a cat would take up so much of my heart.. and provide so much of a physical presence.
I miss him following me.. I miss him talking to me.. just watching me.. just kind of 'showing up' when I least expect it.. I miss his cuddles.. his kneading.. his being 'happy'.. I miss his soft, warm body...

This afternoon, I will be going into Boston, drop off a ton of stuff, and take Artie home.. for the last time..

Yesterday, when I got the phone call. I hung up, immediately wailing: "Artie is Coming Home"-- breaking down unconsolably..really sobbing--

I am still too raw.... and lost..

Thank you all so much...
((Hugs))

ps I am on here, reading the posts, several times a day-- yet I cannot post anything.. I will, eventually.. but, not right now...
 
mazie

mazie

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I know this is a very heartbreaking, stressful and emotionally draining time for you. When my dog, Missy passed, I too had her cremated and am so glad that I did. Trust me, having Artie in an urn in your house will be very comforting to you. It has been 3 years that Missy has passed for me, and I am comforted in that I can still "kiss her" anytime I want and that she is still and always will be with me, not only in spirit but "physically". Cindy, you will find that very consoling to the soul, I promise you. :)
 
neely

neely

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I will be thinking of you this afternoon when Artie comes home. :bluepaw: With each cat or dog that I have lost the hardest and final act for me was taking up their food and water bowl. We each mourn in our own way and I tell myself that is okay because we all grieve differently. In fact, I still have our dog's leash hanging by the back door as if we were going out for a walk. :sniffle: I can't bear to put it away permanently and that is okay too.

Hugs and special thoughts being sent to you from my home to yours. :hugs:
 
foxxycat

foxxycat

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So very sorry. I am hoping maybe in a few months maybe another soul to comfort you. There was 4 months in between Flash passing and Honeybee making her appearance in my life. Loosing Flash took a piece of my soul. I so can relate to what you have said. Having another furball to comfort me while I visit Floeys and Flash's grave is a huge comfort to me. I am sending you hugs and prayers that somehow you make it through this difficult time. I am glad you posted. I wanted to give you a bit of space to process. :hugs::rbheart::redheartpump:
 
Loving Mickey

Loving Mickey

Mickey , my heart and soul Angel kitty
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Oh, Cindy I know how much you must be hurting right now. Yes, your home and heart will feel so empty. I felt the exact same way when my Mickey passed. I just didn't know what to do with myself. My life had revolved around my Mickey and his illness. My days had been full by taking care of him and suddenly he is gone. What to do?? You will get through this difficult time but it will not be easy. Try to get out, surround yourself with friends and people who will understand.
Lean on all your friends on this site. We all care about you and will always be here for you. I so wish I knew the right words to help heal your pain. It will take some time. The pain will always be there, but , it will ease with time.
My heart is with you always!
Much love and many hugs to you!
 
di and bob

di and bob

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The pain and emptiness will always be there, but so will your memories and the love you shared with that special little boy.
It does help to keep busy, to not dwell on what cannot be changed. Just get through one day at a time to let your heart slowly adapt to the tremendous loss and give yourself time to learn a new life's order. Try to remember he is at peace now, that the love he has for you will never change or leave you. He is a part of your very soul and will always remain that way. May God bless you both and give you strength to get through this.......
 
rubysmama

rubysmama

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I'm glad you posted, as I have been thinking about you. Sometimes it feels like you're even more alone after a death, because all the support you were receiving during the illness is no longer needed. Try to get outside and enjoy the nice weather. And know that your friends here at TCS are still here and still care. :hugs:
 
Brian007

Brian007

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I never posted on Artie's thread but I still feel that I knew him, somehow. I'm ever so sad that he's gone. But you're not alone in this, we're here with you.

It's been two years and two months since Brian died and I still cannot even deal with the idea of looking at the 'Rainbow Bridge' forum, let alone post on it. His death was so sudden that the heartbreak broke me completely for two solid weeks, in which I didn't move more than to my en suite bathroom, two metres from my bed. I can still feel the gut-wrentching rawness of it but my grief has slowly lessened over the years, and through my two fluffies, Dudley and Parker. I still think of Brian daily and miss him more than can be expressed. I seriously suspect that I'll carry my grief for him to my grave, where I plan to be reunited with his ashes, which I have in a special box that my brother gave me for my 16th birthday. Having his ashes helps. I'm so glad that you have Artie's.

I'm thinking of you, both.

xx
 
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