Is this strange

[GretaC]

Sunday evening I had to let my sweet cat, Arwen go. She had been fading over the last week or so. Sunday morning she seemed to rally for a bit. We had to run to the store and left her dozing in a sunbeam. By the time we got back she had cratered. I put her on a blanket and petting and brushed her while we tried to decide take her to an ER or just let her stay home. Finally we went to the ER. She didn’t respond to treatment and we had to let her sleep.
I am really taking her death much harder than other pets in my past. partly I think because this this she was an only and now there is no fur baby to greet us. Partly because she is the sweetest cat I ever had, gentle and loving and always wanting to be near us.
the hardest part is the daily morning/evening routines. Is it weird that I sort of go through those now? To the point of pretending to brush a “ghost” before bed Or petting her favorite blanket?

 

[Alldara]

Are your rituals helping you to process? There's no one right way to process.

I keep Nobel's bed in the same spot since he passed in Feb 2023. It makes me sad sometimes, but mostly brings me comfort. It's not hindering any healing processing for anyone who lives in my home. (Though I did have a guest tell me it was upsetting them, even though we have 3 other cats).

It's fine to keep tou coping mechanisms if it isn't harming anything. You can always reach out to a grief therapist or group in the future, should it bother you later. I don't see this as any different from sleeping with the shirt of a human companion.

You may change your grief over time and find new outlets like turning her favourite blanket into a pillow.

 

[FeebysOwner]

You do what makes you feel better. Things will change over time, and as said above, you may find other ways to 'honor', cherish, and remember her and all the things you love about her.

In the meantime, you do whatever it is that you find solace in. It is so very recent, and you are still trying to cope with her absence, much less to the point of really accepting it.

RIP little Arwen.

 

[heatherwillard0614]

I 100% agree with the previous comments. You are grieving the loss of your friend/family member. There is no wrong way for someone to grieve. If you find comfort in these rituals keep doing them. It is for your mental health and healing no one else's. It doesn't even matter if someone were to think that what you're doing is odd. Because they are not you, they don't feel what you feel, they didn't have that true love/connection that you had with Arwen. Some people may not understand but that does not mean it is strange.

I am glad to hear that you have something you are doing that can bring you comfort.. Even if it is just a little comfort that you get from doing these things it is still helping. You do whatever it is that you need to do to find comfort.

I am so sorry for your loss. Arwen is running around happy and healthy now. She loved you just as you loved her unconditionally. Hold onto all of the good times near and dear to your heart. Never forget all the good times you had together.

My condolences to you and your family. May Arwen rest in peace until the two of you meet again.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentIe, Arwen, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

I wiII repeat...many times, if necessary, there is no "right" or "wrong" or "weird" way to grieve. And if those rituaIs are heIping you deaI with the Ioss of your famiIy member, DO THEM! I suspect that they wIII fade over time as you become more accustomed to the Iack of her physicaI presence. Her Iove for you, transIated and purified into Love, however, remains with you, and wiII untiI, in the fullness of time, you meet again. Who are we to say that when you "pretend" to brush or pet her, her precious IittIe spirit of Love is not there, enjoying every moment?

 

[betsygee]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm with everybody else--there's no right or wrong way to grieve, and your reactions aren't strange at all. I know how difficult it is to get used to a new normal after the loss of a beloved family member.

Rest in peace, sweet Arwen.

 

[Pywacket21]

I had to put my husbands dog down this summer. I still have a hard time looking at “his” corner of the couch. Not doing that last potty call. Not putting his food out. It’s not weird to grieve your way. There’s a hole in your heart, and it does get better, but on YOUR schedule.

 

[Antonio65]

When my Pallina died in August 2018, I left all his stuff where it was when she died. Her dishes, her bed, her litter box, toys, everything, exactly where they were when she passed away.
I removed the dishes and bed four months later when I fostered a kitten and I didn't want her to touch Pallina's things.

To this day, the only thing still in the same position as five years ago is her litter box. I planned to store it away several times, but it's still there, and the longer I wait the stronger the feeling that I would betray her if I put it away.

So, it is not strange, it is part of our grieving process.

 

[di and bob]

No, i don't think it is strange at all. The rituals you went through for so long are ingrained and it takes a long tiime to learn a new life's order. Time is the only thing that helps, it dulls the sharp edges of grief. One day your tears will turn to gratitude for having her in your life, but that is in the future.
Her love is a permanent part of your soul. The new path she follows now will always parallel your own. Love is spiritual, so eternal. I always think of the quote " Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened." at times like these. to never have met her at all and shared all the times you did with her would have been a great loss too. The pain is as deep as the love. Embrace the pain and don't let it dim your walk through life. Life is meant to be filled with love and wonder, not pain and tears. Go forward into the future and live it as you would have wanted her to go on if you were the first to go. She wants no less.
My heart goes out to you. We are here to let you know that you CAN survive, that there is hope for happiness in the future. It takes a long time and empathy from your true friends, but anyone who has loved like this and lost these sweet creatures from their lives knows how badly it hurts and how long it takes to go on. Be strong, my friend and come here whenever you like to let your feelings be known. We know........RIP precious Arwen. You will always be remembered, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!