Introduction started okay then went bad

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Hi, hope you had a good week. I started feeding with some visual access today and totally anticlimactic 😻. I've been nervous about it but they just completely ignored each other. This afternoon Frankie ate a bit then walked away. He came back and walked up to the gate, Buddy didn't even look up, kept eating, I let Frankie look at him for about ten seconds then pulled the blanket over to block his view again. They were about four feet away from each other. Once I blocked the view Frankie left. No negative reactions.
I'm so glad, I'm not sure what I was so worried about but all is well.
How do I progress from here? Give them longer visual access over time? I will keep doing it with food /treats.
There has been more site sharing /swapping as Buddy spends more time in the tv room, he is getting braver 👍. When Frankie comes in later he'll sometimes sniff around a bit but then just relax on the couch with us.
Still having Buddy's litter issues but not nearly as often. Sometimes it's obvious he's spraying as it's on the wall but other times it seems that he's just peed over the side of the litter box with half in the box and half out. Other times it's right in the box. He poops in there no problem. I'm going to
pick up a jumbo box to see if it's just an issue with the size. He's a big boy.
So, a good update, feel like things are moving in a positive direction!
 

calicosrspecial

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Hi, hope you had a good week. I started feeding with some visual access today and totally anticlimactic 😻. I've been nervous about it but they just completely ignored each other. This afternoon Frankie ate a bit then walked away. He came back and walked up to the gate, Buddy didn't even look up, kept eating, I let Frankie look at him for about ten seconds then pulled the blanket over to block his view again. They were about four feet away from each other. Once I blocked the view Frankie left. No negative reactions.
I'm so glad, I'm not sure what I was so worried about but all is well.
How do I progress from here? Give them longer visual access over time? I will keep doing it with food /treats.
There has been more site sharing /swapping as Buddy spends more time in the tv room, he is getting braver 👍. When Frankie comes in later he'll sometimes sniff around a bit but then just relax on the couch with us.
Still having Buddy's litter issues but not nearly as often. Sometimes it's obvious he's spraying as it's on the wall but other times it seems that he's just peed over the side of the litter box with half in the box and half out. Other times it's right in the box. He poops in there no problem. I'm going to
pick up a jumbo box to see if it's just an issue with the size. He's a big boy.
So, a good update, feel like things are moving in a positive direction!
"Hi, hope you had a good week." - Hi, thank you, I hope you had a great week as well.

" I started feeding with some visual access today and totally anticlimactic 😻. " - Great!!!

"I've been nervous about it" - Understandably. But let's continue to watch how they feel and whether they are ready. If we sense issues we will deal with them.

" but they just completely ignored each other." - LOVE IT!!!

"This afternoon Frankie ate a bit then walked away. He came back and walked up to the gate, Buddy didn't even look up, kept eating," - GREAT!!!

" I let Frankie look at him for about ten seconds then pulled the blanket over to block his view again." - Ok, good. At that point also reassure him with calm, confident, loving words.

" They were about four feet away from each other. " - Great!!

"Once I blocked the view Frankie left. No negative reactions." - Perfect!!

"I'm so glad, I'm not sure what I was so worried about but all is well." - :) Well you worry (we all do at some point) because we love them and want what is best for them. Totally normal. I worry as well and try to make sure they are ready before moving forward.

"How do I progress from here? Give them longer visual access over time? I will keep doing it with food /treats." - Exactly. For now, feeding at the gate. Continue building confidence with play. Once we build that trust and confidence we will move to the next step.

"There has been more site sharing /swapping as Buddy spends more time in the tv room, he is getting braver 👍. When Frankie comes in later he'll sometimes sniff around a bit but then just relax on the couch with us." - Fantastic!!! And Frankie's reaction is key. Telling me that he is accepting sharing of the territory. That Buddy's scent is not negative.

"Still having Buddy's litter issues but not nearly as often." - :/ Ok, at least it is in the right direction.

" Sometimes it's obvious he's spraying as it's on the wall" - :/ Ok. What is odd is it is not supported by his behavior. Is he walking lower to the ground, avoiding areas, having his tail down in certain places, etc?

"but other times it seems that he's just peed over the side of the litter box with half in the box and half out." - Yes, probably because of his size. How high is the litter in the box? Sometimes big cats need a lower litter level. That does not sound like marking.

" Other times it's right in the box. He poops in there no problem." - Great

"I'm going to pick up a jumbo box to see if it's just an issue with the size. He's a big boy." - Great idea

"So, a good update, feel like things are moving in a positive direction! " - Totally agree. We just need to keep building that confidence and building the trust between them and keep moving to get them intro'd. :)

Really great work!!! :)
 
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" Sometimes it's obvious he's spraying as it's on the wall" - :/ Ok. What is odd is it is not supported by his behavior. Is he walking lower to the ground, avoiding areas, having his tail down in certain places, etc?
I feel like it happens when he has something startle him or unsettle him. He did it the other day after I vacuumed, I wasn't close to his room but obviously he didn't like it. Frankie hates it, too! He is also very afraid of the TV, he'll come into the room now when it's on but always looking over his shoulder and he kind of hides behind the ottoman. This is getting better, though. If the TV isn't on he seems very relaxed in the room. He usually walks around quite confidently in his area when I'm there but he will will run back to his room if he hears a strange noise or something. My husband says he will come out when I'm not home if he's coaxed with temptations or catnip. If I'm there he will just come out without coaxing. He is so funny about toys, he's afraid of any of the string/dangling type of toys. If you dance something around in front of him, he'll back right away. He is okay with floor toys that he can chase around but only on his terms. I learned quickly if you toss a toy towards him, he'll flinch away. He will play on his own, though. He's getting more frisky overall but still mostly a cuddler.
Frankie is back to his usual self. He is a little ball of energy, always playing with anything he can find :), he loves the string toys.
I'll let you know how things are going on the weekend.
 

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I feel like it happens when he has something startle him or unsettle him. He did it the other day after I vacuumed, I wasn't close to his room but obviously he didn't like it. Frankie hates it, too! He is also very afraid of the TV, he'll come into the room now when it's on but always looking over his shoulder and he kind of hides behind the ottoman. This is getting better, though. If the TV isn't on he seems very relaxed in the room. He usually walks around quite confidently in his area when I'm there but he will will run back to his room if he hears a strange noise or something. My husband says he will come out when I'm not home if he's coaxed with temptations or catnip. If I'm there he will just come out without coaxing. He is so funny about toys, he's afraid of any of the string/dangling type of toys. If you dance something around in front of him, he'll back right away. He is okay with floor toys that he can chase around but only on his terms. I learned quickly if you toss a toy towards him, he'll flinch away. He will play on his own, though. He's getting more frisky overall but still mostly a cuddler.
Frankie is back to his usual self. He is a little ball of energy, always playing with anything he can find :), he loves the string toys.
I'll let you know how things are going on the weekend.
"I feel like it happens when he has something startle him or unsettle him." - Ok, that makes sense as it causes insecurity and stress and he relieves it by "yelling" by marking "THIS IS MINE". Once he gets more ownership and confidence that will go away.

" He did it the other day after I vacuumed, I wasn't close to his room but obviously he didn't like it." - Yes, understandably. ANy changes, anything that might be a threat will cause it. :/

" Frankie hates it, too!" - Yes, it is very common.

" He is also very afraid of the TV, he'll come into the room now when it's on but always looking over his shoulder and he kind of hides behind the ottoman." - Interesting. Again, any change, any potential threat, etc can be unsettling.

" This is getting better, though." - Great, it should in time as long as nothing negative happens at the same time.

"If the TV isn't on he seems very relaxed in the room. " - Great

"He usually walks around quite confidently in his area when I'm there" - Great

" but he will will run back to his room if he hears a strange noise or something." - Yes because he isn't totally trusting/confident yet. But as he goes in there and nothing bad happens and some positives happen he will be fine. It is just normal building of confidence and territorial security.

" My husband says he will come out when I'm not home if he's coaxed with temptations or catnip." - Great :) Positive association, positive encounter.

" If I'm there he will just come out without coaxing." - Yes you are his confidence.

" He is so funny about toys, he's afraid of any of the string/dangling type of toys. If you dance something around in front of him, he'll back right away. " - Yes, that happens. Just make the toy act like prey (a rabbit, a mouse, etc) Those halting movements, hiding, etc.

"He is okay with floor toys that he can chase around but only on his terms." - Great

" I learned quickly if you toss a toy towards him, he'll flinch away. " - :( He might have had some bad experiences in his past. :( He will be fine in time, he has a great home.

"He will play on his own, though." - GREAT!!! A sign he is feeling more at home. :)

"He's getting more frisky overall but still mostly a cuddler." - GREAT!!!

"Frankie is back to his usual self. He is a little ball of energy, always playing with anything he can find :), he loves the string toys." - FANTASTIC!!!

"I'll let you know how things are going on the weekend. " - Great, keep up the great work. What you are doing is working!!! Fantastic!!! :)
 
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Hi Calicosrspecial, bad news. After things seeming to be going well, Frankie jumped the gate yesterday and attacked Buddy again. It happened fast and we were able to get Frankie off him quickly but, of course, Buddy is very scared again and we're back to square one. I think Frankie is just one of those cats who doesn't get along with others. So we're looking for a new home for Buddy. I've reached out to some friends who might know someone. If that doesn't work we have a good rescue in town where we've adopted all of our cats. He's such a beautiful, sweet guy I'm sure he'll have a new home quickly.
thanks so much for all your help with this!
 

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Hi Calicosrspecial, bad news. After things seeming to be going well, Frankie jumped the gate yesterday and attacked Buddy again. It happened fast and we were able to get Frankie off him quickly but, of course, Buddy is very scared again and we're back to square one. I think Frankie is just one of those cats who doesn't get along with others. So we're looking for a new home for Buddy. I've reached out to some friends who might know someone. If that doesn't work we have a good rescue in town where we've adopted all of our cats. He's such a beautiful, sweet guy I'm sure he'll have a new home quickly.
thanks so much for all your help with this!
I did not expect that at all. I am devastated as I can imagine you are. 😭

Was Buddy hurt at all?

Was Frankie outside shortly before he jumped the gate?

Buddy has had a lot happen in his life, I hope he can find a home half as great as yours. He is deserving and will be very lucky. He really seems like a wonderful cat.

Good luck Buddy. I hope you find all the happiness you deserve.

And thank you so much for trying and for looking for a great home for him. Please let me know when you find him a home.
 
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I am so devastated. Buddy got a scratch on his leg and a bunch of fur pulled out but he is okay. He is in his room but coming out for pets and treats. Frankie had just come in from outside and later last evening I saw another cat hanging around our yard. I think Frankie saw the other cat in our yard and just took it out on Buddy. He really is such a sweet little guy but obviously very territorial. I have a bunch of feelers out and I'm sure I'll find Buddy a nice quiet home.
Thanks again for helping, it's so nice to be able to connect with strangers in this crazy world these days!
 

calicosrspecial

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I am so devastated. Buddy got a scratch on his leg and a bunch of fur pulled out but he is okay. He is in his room but coming out for pets and treats. Frankie had just come in from outside and later last evening I saw another cat hanging around our yard. I think Frankie saw the other cat in our yard and just took it out on Buddy. He really is such a sweet little guy but obviously very territorial. I have a bunch of feelers out and I'm sure I'll find Buddy a nice quiet home.
Thanks again for helping, it's so nice to be able to connect with strangers in this crazy world these days!
"I am so devastated." - I can imagine. I know how devastated I feel and I can imagine you are multiples of that. :(

" Buddy got a scratch on his leg and a bunch of fur pulled out but he is okay." - Ok, good it wasn't worse. SO Frankie did show restraint which is good.

" He is in his room but coming out for pets and treats." - Good. He sounds like he is doing ok, rebounding ok.

" Frankie had just come in from outside " - Yep, I kinda figured. :(

"and later last evening I saw another cat hanging around our yard." - That will do it. Even just the scent of a cat in "his" territory will do it let alone actual visual contact.

" I think Frankie saw the other cat in our yard and just took it out on Buddy." - Yes, redirected aggression. Cats are territorial so when they feel that is threatened they will defend it even against innocent bystanders and not the "invader".

" He really is such a sweet little guy but obviously very territorial. " - Yes, cats are. I have one can in my colony that is seriously aggressive to "invaders". He is super sweet but territorial. It happens, it is a survival instinct.

" I have a bunch of feelers out and I'm sure I'll find Buddy a nice quiet home." - I hope so. He really deserves one.

There is so much joy in doing this but the sorrow is rough. Days like these are tough. Especially when I just did not expect it. I feel like I let Buddy (and you and Frankie) down. :( I should have given better gate/barrier advice.

"Thanks again for helping, it's so nice to be able to connect with strangers in this crazy world these days!" - You are very welcome. THANK YOU for trying your best and trying so hard. You really are so awesome.

Always feel free to drop me a message or a post if I can help (or listen) at all.

Hang in there, you did your best. That is all we can do. Thank you.
 
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Please don't feel you let us down at all, I couldn't have come as far as we did without your help! I would keep trying but I could never relax knowing that Frankie could be triggered to go after Buddy again at any time. It's only fair to him to find him a home where he doesn't have to be scared of another cat. The good news is he has bounced back today, he was hiding under his blanket earlier but by the afternoon he was back sitting out and rubbing up against me. He is resilient and will settle in quickly once he finds his new home. I feel so sad, he's just such a great cat and I so wish it worked out.
You are such a great support and I am so thankful for your help. I'll keep you posted on Buddy's adoption to a new home.
Roni
 

calicosrspecial

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Please don't feel you let us down at all, I couldn't have come as far as we did without your help! I would keep trying but I could never relax knowing that Frankie could be triggered to go after Buddy again at any time. It's only fair to him to find him a home where he doesn't have to be scared of another cat. The good news is he has bounced back today, he was hiding under his blanket earlier but by the afternoon he was back sitting out and rubbing up against me. He is resilient and will settle in quickly once he finds his new home. I feel so sad, he's just such a great cat and I so wish it worked out.
You are such a great support and I am so thankful for your help. I'll keep you posted on Buddy's adoption to a new home.
Roni
"Please don't feel you let us down at all, I couldn't have come as far as we did without your help! " - Think you but I should have done more with the gate security.

"I would keep trying but I could never relax knowing that Frankie could be triggered to go after Buddy again at any time. " - Yes, I totally understand.

"It's only fair to him to find him a home where he doesn't have to be scared of another cat." - Agreed. We want everyone to have the best life possible.

"The good news is he has bounced back today, he was hiding under his blanket earlier but by the afternoon he was back sitting out and rubbing up against me. He is resilient and will settle in quickly once he finds his new home. " - I am so glad he bounced back so quickly. That is very good.

"I feel so sad, he's just such a great cat and I so wish it worked out." - I know. It is so hard. But you did your best and that is all that matters. Sometimes it doesn't work out.

"You are such a great support and I am so thankful for your help. " - Thank you very much. You are so awesome as well!!!

"I'll keep you posted on Buddy's adoption to a new home. " - Thank you, please do. I get attached to the cats and love to
hear about them. Buddy is one special guy!!!!

Take good care and thanks again for all you have done and are doing!!!
 
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Hi there calicosrspecial, an update and needing some advice. Still looking for a home for Buddy, it's not easy. There have been a couple people interested but they fell through. A lot of people have several cats or dogs and I'm not sure how he'd do with that. The search continues but I've been thinking of ways we could keep him. My husband and I are both so sad to give him up.
So one question I have is if you think he would be okay with being introduced to more cats after his scary experience with Frankie? I know generally cats can get along with some work and would like that for him but also don't want to but him into another scary situation.
My other question is around if we keep him. I'm thinking that we could put up a more permanent barrier between the front and back of the house that Frankie couldn't see through or climb over. Buddy would then still have his area and would be able to hang out with us when we're in the TV room or computer room which is regularly through the day. We'd have to share the TV room with Frankie in the evenings but each would get opportunity to cuddle on the couch with us a few nights a week. On the evenings Frankie hangs out with us then Buddy would have to be in his room but he is very comfortable in there and has his bed/cat tree/food etc. Frankie would still be the boss getting access to the bedroom, kitchen, etc. but I think Buddy would be quite comfortable. Do you think this would be a fair arrangement for both of them? Do you think that after many months of them being aware of each other and never seeing each other Frankie might calm down about the whole thing? would love your insight!
 

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Hi there calicosrspecial, an update and needing some advice. Still looking for a home for Buddy, it's not easy. There have been a couple people interested but they fell through. A lot of people have several cats or dogs and I'm not sure how he'd do with that. The search continues but I've been thinking of ways we could keep him. My husband and I are both so sad to give him up.
So one question I have is if you think he would be okay with being introduced to more cats after his scary experience with Frankie? I know generally cats can get along with some work and would like that for him but also don't want to but him into another scary situation.
My other question is around if we keep him. I'm thinking that we could put up a more permanent barrier between the front and back of the house that Frankie couldn't see through or climb over. Buddy would then still have his area and would be able to hang out with us when we're in the TV room or computer room which is regularly through the day. We'd have to share the TV room with Frankie in the evenings but each would get opportunity to cuddle on the couch with us a few nights a week. On the evenings Frankie hangs out with us then Buddy would have to be in his room but he is very comfortable in there and has his bed/cat tree/food etc. Frankie would still be the boss getting access to the bedroom, kitchen, etc. but I think Buddy would be quite comfortable. Do you think this would be a fair arrangement for both of them? Do you think that after many months of them being aware of each other and never seeing each other Frankie might calm down about the whole thing? would love your insight!
"Hi there calicosrspecial, an update and needing some advice." - Hi

" Still looking for a home for Buddy, it's not easy." - No, it isn't easy sadly. :/

" There have been a couple people interested but they fell through. A lot of people have several cats or dogs and I'm not sure how he'd do with that." - Yes. I think he would do well with another cat and maybe cats BUT the family needs to know how to intro them. I would help in every way. But they have to be committed which sadly many are not.

" The search continues but I've been thinking of ways we could keep him." - Ok

" My husband and I are both so sad to give him up." - I know. It is awful. :/ BUT you have to do what is right for the humans and the animals.

"So one question I have is if you think he would be okay with being introduced to more cats after his scary experience with Frankie?" - I do BUT the family has to be committed and do it right. I do think Buddy is a great cat and he seems like he would accept others. Usually it depends on the resident cats while the new cat has an easier time since they are acquiring not defending/sharing territory.

I didn't meet Buddy in person but I truly thought we could intro them successfully so I think I saw something (though I was not in home so it is not a perfect analysis).

" I know generally cats can get along with some work and would like that for him but also don't want to but him into another scary situation." - Understandable. He needs to bein the right family. Not just any family. Totally agree.

"My other question is around if we keep him. I'm thinking that we could put up a more permanent barrier between the front and back of the house that Frankie couldn't see through or climb over." - Well, we would want a temporary permanent barrier (meaning something that would protect with the goal of removing at some point).

"Buddy would then still have his area and would be able to hang out with us when we're in the TV room or computer room which is regularly through the day." - Yes.

" We'd have to share the TV room with Frankie in the evenings but each would get opportunity to cuddle on the couch with us a few nights a week." - Yes

" On the evenings Frankie hangs out with us then Buddy would have to be in his room but he is very comfortable in there and has his bed/cat tree/food etc. " - Yes

"Frankie would still be the boss getting access to the bedroom, kitchen, etc." - This is where I worry. Would Frankie accept having the TV room "taken" away or would he be ok with it?

" but I think Buddy would be quite comfortable." - Yes, I think Buddy would be fine with that.

" Do you think this would be a fair arrangement for both of them? " - I would also include the humans as well. So would it be fair for the humans, Frankie, and Buddy? Given I think the world of you I think Buddy would be better off unless you found a great family elsewhere. Is it fair to Frankie? I am leaning towards likely BUT it would depend on how he would accept being somewhere else when Buddy is in the TV room (now the goal would be t have Buddy safe with a humans providing "personal security" while letting Frankie be out and about. The only issue with that is if Frankie would be willing to go after Buddy even with a human around and then the humans and Buddy would be at risk. Then is it fair to the humans, a divided house, the stress. For me I could do it if needed but not everyone can (and no blame to those humans, it is understandable). I know others that have done this successfully as well. It is not easy but for some is workable.

"Do you think that after many months of them being aware of each other and never seeing each other Frankie might calm down about the whole thing?" - Well, I do think we would want to do some intro stuff and try to get visual access much sooner than a few months depending on how they are acting.

I struggle with bring this up but I had every confidence we could intro them. Even after the attack given how Buddy rebounded and I would need to hear more about how fast Frankie rebounded to normal, no or limited marking, etc. It was going really well and I think it was redirected aggression rather than a Buddy thing. BUT I KNOW A LOT of people on here would scream at me for bring that up.

Tell me more about how Frankie is acting. Is he unsettled, stressed, acting abnormally, marking, etc.

Then think about how the humans are honestly willing to be fairly inconvenienced. It isn't easy, physically, mentally, time wise, etc. I don't want the stress causing the humans issues.

Let's go back and forth on this a bit. IF Buddy found a great home with a great family I would say that is the best option. BUT if it is not the right home (and that is subjective) then may be this is an option IF certain things line up. IF things didn't look hopeful before I would say rehome is the only option BUT I guess I did think they were going well.

Let's go back and forth, let's be honest, and figure it out. A decision doesn't need to be made immediately since for now there is no real other option. BUT we'll need to do a solid barrier or keep Buddy in a closed door room for a short time for now just to keep it safe while doing site swapping (when Frankie is out) and watch Frankie's reaction when smelling Buddy and some scent swapping and confidence building.

Hmmmmm, let's think and discuss. Just say anything, any concerns, any thoughts etc. Be open and honest. And let's try to figure it out.

Hang in there, I KNOW how tough this is. You really are amazingly wonderful!!! We'll figure out what is the best route for everyone.


would love your insight!
 
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thanks for all your insight!
first, regarding looking to rehome Buddy, I just find a lot of people seem to have the attitude that you just put the cats together and 'let them work it out' which I just don't understand! I couldn't do that to Buddy so I'm still wanting open to finding him a home but haven't found the right situation.
I have to say I feel much better about the option of keeping him. Seeing him get attacked last weekend again was just so scary and I couldn't see that we could keep trying but now that I've had a chance to regroup I still think there is potential for a peaceful co-existence. This hasn't been a good week because there has been a stray hanging around outside, I'm sure that was what triggered Frankie last weekend. One of my neighbours has been in contact with a rescue to try to get the stray cat to a safe place. So Frankie is more on edge but he really seems good overall. Right now we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside as he just jumps over the gate at will now :) Frankie still will sniff around the tv room a bit when he comes in in the evening but no reaction, he'll just lie down with us and seems his usual self.
That's the thing, each time he has gone after Buddy there was no warning. No hissing, puffed up fur, growling, he just attacks. But both times have been triggered, first after getting home from the kennel and the second after having the stray in the yard. The day that he attacked Buddy, I had just fed them an hour or so earlier and they were about 4 feet apart through the gate and they were fine.
Right now I can see that Buddy is more nervous when out of his room, he's regularly looking back at the gate and will only stay out for a short time when I'm there but then goes back in his room. Yesterday morning he came out and sat on the back of the couch behind my head for about 15 minutes, he was purring away, it was awesome! I think that is the longest he's stayed out and most relaxed he's been since the incident on the weekend so we're getting better slowly.
He is still spraying when he's stressed but the jumbo litter box has helped so it hits the side of the litter box instead of the wall so that's better :)
Frankie hasn't sprayed at all. He really seems fine. He will come in and go sniff at Buddy's door but is easily directed away and I'll pet him and give him catnip and he's fine. He doesn't get his back up or anything when he's there.
I definitely see the point about Frankie not liking being banished from the TV room some nights, so we would have to see how that would work out. It works out right now as Frankie often doesn't come in until 8-9pm so Buddy hangs out with us until then and Frankie doesn't know the difference. As the weather cools Frankie will be inside more so we'll have to adapt as we go.
My husband is very handy so he's got an idea for the gate that will be much more solid and tall but will open/slide easily for us to go through. We'll just have to very diligent with Frankie to make sure he doesn't slip through. We are already dealing with the little gate that we have to open/close all the time so it won't be much different. We'll have the top of the new gate open enough that we're able to see and hear what's going on but not enough that Frankie would be able to get through. He is a smart little guy and loves to climb so we need to be one step ahead! I don't know if I ever mentioned but he spends quite a bit of time on our roof, our neighbours roof, our garage roof :) He can climb up and down trees, he's such a fun little cat!
so I'm getting long winded. I'm feeling good about making this work again. Let me know your thoughts
I think taking a step back for now and then, once everything is very settled and both cats seem very relaxed, we can start working our way forward again.
 

calicosrspecial

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thanks for all your insight!
first, regarding looking to rehome Buddy, I just find a lot of people seem to have the attitude that you just put the cats together and 'let them work it out' which I just don't understand! I couldn't do that to Buddy so I'm still wanting open to finding him a home but haven't found the right situation.
I have to say I feel much better about the option of keeping him. Seeing him get attacked last weekend again was just so scary and I couldn't see that we could keep trying but now that I've had a chance to regroup I still think there is potential for a peaceful co-existence. This hasn't been a good week because there has been a stray hanging around outside, I'm sure that was what triggered Frankie last weekend. One of my neighbours has been in contact with a rescue to try to get the stray cat to a safe place. So Frankie is more on edge but he really seems good overall. Right now we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside as he just jumps over the gate at will now :) Frankie still will sniff around the tv room a bit when he comes in in the evening but no reaction, he'll just lie down with us and seems his usual self.
That's the thing, each time he has gone after Buddy there was no warning. No hissing, puffed up fur, growling, he just attacks. But both times have been triggered, first after getting home from the kennel and the second after having the stray in the yard. The day that he attacked Buddy, I had just fed them an hour or so earlier and they were about 4 feet apart through the gate and they were fine.
Right now I can see that Buddy is more nervous when out of his room, he's regularly looking back at the gate and will only stay out for a short time when I'm there but then goes back in his room. Yesterday morning he came out and sat on the back of the couch behind my head for about 15 minutes, he was purring away, it was awesome! I think that is the longest he's stayed out and most relaxed he's been since the incident on the weekend so we're getting better slowly.
He is still spraying when he's stressed but the jumbo litter box has helped so it hits the side of the litter box instead of the wall so that's better :)
Frankie hasn't sprayed at all. He really seems fine. He will come in and go sniff at Buddy's door but is easily directed away and I'll pet him and give him catnip and he's fine. He doesn't get his back up or anything when he's there.
I definitely see the point about Frankie not liking being banished from the TV room some nights, so we would have to see how that would work out. It works out right now as Frankie often doesn't come in until 8-9pm so Buddy hangs out with us until then and Frankie doesn't know the difference. As the weather cools Frankie will be inside more so we'll have to adapt as we go.
My husband is very handy so he's got an idea for the gate that will be much more solid and tall but will open/slide easily for us to go through. We'll just have to very diligent with Frankie to make sure he doesn't slip through. We are already dealing with the little gate that we have to open/close all the time so it won't be much different. We'll have the top of the new gate open enough that we're able to see and hear what's going on but not enough that Frankie would be able to get through. He is a smart little guy and loves to climb so we need to be one step ahead! I don't know if I ever mentioned but he spends quite a bit of time on our roof, our neighbours roof, our garage roof :) He can climb up and down trees, he's such a fun little cat!
so I'm getting long winded. I'm feeling good about making this work again. Let me know your thoughts
I think taking a step back for now and then, once everything is very settled and both cats seem very relaxed, we can start working our way forward again.
"thanks for all your insight!"- You aer very welcome. THANK YOU for caring about Frankie and Buddy!!!

"first, regarding looking to rehome Buddy, I just find a lot of people seem to have the attitude that you just put the cats together and 'let them work it out' which I just don't understand! " - Totally agree with you. It can work but the issue is what happens if it doesn't? Life is too precious and quality of life. I am with you totally.

"I couldn't do that to Buddy so I'm still wanting open to finding him a home but haven't found the right situation." - Exactly, I totally understand.

"I have to say I feel much better about the option of keeping him." - Interesting. How so? Can you go into some detail about why?

" Seeing him get attacked last weekend again was just so scary" - Totally. It is SO SCARY. That is where looking at the details, understand the whys, what exactly happened and didn't happen, and then how they reacted to it after is really key.

" and I couldn't see that we could keep trying" - Totally understand.

" but now that I've had a chance to regroup I still think there is potential for a peaceful co-existence." - OK, do you think it is based on facts (so how they acted after it and since) or is it hope?

" This hasn't been a good week because there has been a stray hanging around outside, I'm sure that was what triggered Frankie last weekend." - Yep, that definitely will cause it. :/ We can use deterrents possibly to get him to move on.

"One of my neighbours has been in contact with a rescue to try to get the stray cat to a safe place." Ok. Typically they will not take in a feral BUT it is worth a try. BUT if possible to get him (or her) neutered (spayed) that could help some. Then with deterrents it could help a lot. But let's see what the rescue says.

" So Frankie is more on edge" - Understandably

" but he really seems good overall." - Really?

" Right now we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside as he just jumps over the gate at will now :) " - Buddy jumps over the gate? Only when Frankie is out or when Frankie is inside as well?

"Frankie still will sniff around the tv room a bit when he comes in in the evening but no reaction, he'll just lie down with us and seems his usual self." - THAT is great.

"That's the thing, each time he has gone after Buddy there was no warning. No hissing, puffed up fur, growling, he just attacks." - Ok. But he doesn't go after Buddy everytime he sees him, correct? It was "only" twice, correct? Was each time after he came from outside? At what time in Buddy's stay has it happened? I know the recent one but when was the previous one? Did the previous one end in injury, etc?

"But both times have been triggered, first after getting home from the kennel" - Ok, you answered my above questions so ignore it. Yes. Which is understandable.

" and the second after having the stray in the yard." - Yes, that one i know as well.

" The day that he attacked Buddy, I had just fed them an hour or so earlier and they were about 4 feet apart through the gate and they were fine." - Exactly.

That is why I was so surprised and devastated. I did not see it coming. :(

"Right now I can see that Buddy is more nervous when out of his room, he's regularly looking back at the gate and will only stay out for a short time when I'm there but then goes back in his room." - Understandably. So how he acts in "his" territory is really key. If he seems good, comfortable, etc that is good. If he is stressed, etc then it would be an issue we need to improve.

"Yesterday morning he came out and sat on the back of the couch behind my head for about 15 minutes, he was purring away, it was awesome! I think that is the longest he's stayed out and most relaxed he's been since the incident on the weekend so we're getting better slowly." - GREAT!!! It is a process to build back trust.

"He is still spraying when he's stressed but the jumbo litter box has helped so it hits the side of the litter box instead of the wall so that's better :) " - Ok, is he hitting the wall or floor at all? It may just be his size and not territorial spraying.

"Frankie hasn't sprayed at all." - Really? Are you sure?

" He really seems fine." - Well, THAT is great. IF it was Buddy he would not act like that.

" He will come in and go sniff at Buddy's door but is easily directed away and I'll pet him and give him catnip and he's fine. He doesn't get his back up or anything when he's there." - Great, again IF it was Buddy he would not be so good.

"I definitely see the point about Frankie not liking being banished from the TV room some nights, so we would have to see how that would work out." - Yes, agreed. Anytime we "take away" territory EVEN FOR a SHORT time it can cause insecurity (Ie in the cat hotel issue).

" It works out right now as Frankie often doesn't come in until 8-9pm so Buddy hangs out with us until then and Frankie doesn't know the difference. " - Wow, great

"As the weather cools Frankie will be inside more so we'll have to adapt as we go." - Yes, so maybe Buddy comes nto the main area earlier and gets "put to bed" earlier when Frankie is ready to come in.

"My husband is very handy so he's got an idea for the gate that will be much more solid and tall but will open/slide easily for us to go through." - Great. Yes, it would need to be more secure. If only everyone had a husband so handy AND understanding....................

" We'll just have to very diligent with Frankie to make sure he doesn't slip through." - yes

" We are already dealing with the little gate that we have to open/close all the time so it won't be much different." - Ok. Well, it is a length of time issue as well. :/

" We'll have the top of the new gate open enough that we're able to see and hear what's going on but not enough that Frankie would be able to get through." - Ok. As long as Frankie can't get through at all. We will have to have some ability to have visual at some point though as well. Is there a way to have a heavy mesh that a blanket can be used to block visual but allow visual when the time comes?

" He is a smart little guy and loves to climb so we need to be one step ahead!" - Yep. Exactly. :/

" I don't know if I ever mentioned but he spends quite a bit of time on our roof, our neighbours roof, our garage roof :) He can climb up and down trees, he's such a fun little cat!" - I did not know that. So going high gives confidence. I know your husband is not big on cat shelving (given the holes, etc) but that could really give him an avenue for confidence inside.


"so I'm getting long winded. " - NOT AT ALL!!! THIS is EXACTLY what we need to do. Figure it out.

"I'm feeling good about making this work again." - I can tell. :) It does seem like facts are supportive of that feeling which is what we want/need. Hope is not a strategy so it is great to hear supporting facts.

"Let me know your thoughts" - I would like to hear more (especially the questions above and especially how Buddy acts in his "territory") but I will say this is definitely more supportive of the possibility to follow through with the idea of trying more.

"I think taking a step back for now" - Well, keep doing exactly what you have for the past week. Continue to try to build their confidence (Play, Food, Height and Love). So play as much as possible individually then feed after play. Give them places to go high (even if it is a bed, or a dresser, or a table, etc) and give them love but only safely so you are not at risk of being hurt in any way. Be calm, confident and loving to them.

"and then, once everything is very settled and both cats seem very relaxed, we can start working our way forward again. " - Agreed. So let's see if Frankie continues doing well, Buddy's confidence improves, etc.

And let's figure out what is best for everyone. :) I will say this update (new info about how they are doing) is A LOT better than I expected so............................. fingers crossed we can make it work.
 
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" So Frankie is more on edge" - Understandably

" but he really seems good overall." - Really?
Frankie had a run in with the stray last night (not hurt at all) lots of hissing/screaming, I was able to clap my hands to scare off the stray. When Frankie came in shortly after, he just went right to his food and really seemed fine, didn't go check out Buddy's door at all.

" Right now we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside as he just jumps over the gate at will now :) " - Buddy jumps over the gate? Only when Frankie is out or when Frankie is inside as well?
No, Frankie jumps over the gate at will so we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside. Buddy has no interest in jumping over the gate at this point.
"He is still spraying when he's stressed but the jumbo litter box has helped so it hits the side of the litter box instead of the wall so that's better :) " - Ok, is he hitting the wall or floor at all? It may just be his size and not territorial spraying.
He hit the wall this morning, I was in the room to witness, tail straight up and quivering and pee shooting out behind him. It's not happening as frequently but still every other day or so. I'm hoping it will continue to reduce as he relaxes again. I think having a more secure barrier will help him to feel more secure.
"Frankie hasn't sprayed at all." - Really? Are you sure?
I haven't seen any evidence of him spraying and I do check around. There was the one time after the 'post kennel' incident when he peed on Buddy's bed that we had left out of his room. But nothing other than that.

"As the weather cools Frankie will be inside more so we'll have to adapt as we go." - Yes, so maybe Buddy comes nto the main area earlier and gets "put to bed" earlier when Frankie is ready to come in.
I think Buddy would be fine with that, he is quite happy in his room as long as he gets to have some time with us during the day



" We'll have the top of the new gate open enough that we're able to see and hear what's going on but not enough that Frankie would be able to get through." - Ok. As long as Frankie can't get through at all. We will have to have some ability to have visual at some point though as well. Is there a way to have a heavy mesh that a blanket can be used to block visual but allow visual when the time comes?
We're going to make plans this weekend for the gate. There will be no way for Frankie to get through, will figure out a way that we can have visual when ready.
"Let me know your thoughts" - I would like to hear more (especially the questions above and especially how Buddy acts in his "territory") but I will say this is definitely more supportive of the possibility to follow through with the idea of trying more.
I think Buddy needs more time to get more confident in his space, the better gate should help because he experienced Frankie jumping over the current gate already so I'm sure wondering if it will happen again.
Frankie just doesn't seem bothered by Buddy day to day so I'm hopeful. I have been looking at different height ideas for Frankie to be able to enjoy the vertical space in the house, just have to convince hubby!
have to run, will talk more soon!
 

calicosrspecial

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Frankie had a run in with the stray last night (not hurt at all) lots of hissing/screaming, I was able to clap my hands to scare off the stray. When Frankie came in shortly after, he just went right to his food and really seemed fine, didn't go check out Buddy's door at all.


No, Frankie jumps over the gate at will so we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside. Buddy has no interest in jumping over the gate at this point.

He hit the wall this morning, I was in the room to witness, tail straight up and quivering and pee shooting out behind him. It's not happening as frequently but still every other day or so. I'm hoping it will continue to reduce as he relaxes again. I think having a more secure barrier will help him to feel more secure.

I haven't seen any evidence of him spraying and I do check around. There was the one time after the 'post kennel' incident when he peed on Buddy's bed that we had left out of his room. But nothing other than that.


I think Buddy would be fine with that, he is quite happy in his room as long as he gets to have some time with us during the day




We're going to make plans this weekend for the gate. There will be no way for Frankie to get through, will figure out a way that we can have visual when ready.

I think Buddy needs more time to get more confident in his space, the better gate should help because he experienced Frankie jumping over the current gate already so I'm sure wondering if it will happen again.
Frankie just doesn't seem bothered by Buddy day to day so I'm hopeful. I have been looking at different height ideas for Frankie to be able to enjoy the vertical space in the house, just have to convince hubby!
have to run, will talk more soon!
"Frankie had a run in with the stray last night (not hurt at all) lots of hissing/screaming," - Poor guy :(

" I was able to clap my hands to scare off the stray." - Great. And Frankie did not pursue the feral?

" When Frankie came in shortly after, he just went right to his food and really seemed fine, didn't go check out Buddy's door at all." - Wow. No marking either?

"No, Frankie jumps over the gate at will" - OK, makes sense

"so we only let Buddy out of his room when Frankie is outside." - Yes, good

" Buddy has no interest in jumping over the gate at this point." - Ok, makes sense

"He hit the wall this morning, I was in the room to witness, tail straight up and quivering and pee shooting out behind him." - :/ Ok. Was he in the litter box or next to it? I am still wondering though. If he was marking it would be by the door to Frankie or by a window etc. BUT maybe it is marking by the litter box.

" It's not happening as frequently but still every other day or so." - OK, depending if he is in the litter box or not it may be an issue. either way we need to hopefully stop it soon.

" I'm hoping it will continue to reduce as he relaxes again. I think having a more secure barrier will help him to feel more secure." - Agreed

"I haven't seen any evidence of him spraying and I do check around." - Great

" There was the one time after the 'post kennel' incident when he peed on Buddy's bed that we had left out of his room. But nothing other than that." - OK, that incident was understandable (not good but I understand why). Glad it was "just" that one time.

"I think Buddy would be fine with that, he is quite happy in his room as long as he gets to have some time with us during the day" - Great, I thought that might be the case.

"We're going to make plans this weekend for the gate. There will be no way for Frankie to get through, will figure out a way that we can have visual when ready." - GREAT!!!

"I think Buddy needs more time to get more confident in his space," - Ok, so he is still unsure. Worse than before the attack? How much worse?

" the better gate should help because he experienced Frankie jumping over the current gate already so I'm sure wondering if it will happen again." - Agreed

"Frankie just doesn't seem bothered by Buddy day to day so I'm hopeful." - THAT is great.

" I have been looking at different height ideas for Frankie to be able to enjoy the vertical space in the house, just have to convince hubby!" - Great

"have to run, will talk more soon! " - Sounds good, have a great evening. :)
 
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Ridney

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" I was able to clap my hands to scare off the stray." - Great. And Frankie did not pursue the feral?
No, he hid under our car. He acts tough but I really think it's fear/insecurity, not toughness.
"He hit the wall this morning, I was in the room to witness, tail straight up and quivering and pee shooting out behind him." - :/ Ok. Was he in the litter box or next to it? I am still wondering though. If he was marking it would be by the door to Frankie or by a window etc. BUT maybe it is marking by the litter box.
He stands in the litter box when doing it and only ever does it in the litter box. The box isn't at the door or under the window so it isn't that. I'm really not sure. Often he just pees normally in the box, so he can. It definitely happens less when he seems more relaxed and picks up when something stressful happens so I'm still hoping once he's relaxed it will be much less of an issue.
"I think Buddy needs more time to get more confident in his space," - Ok, so he is still unsure. Worse than before the attack? How much worse?
He is worse than before the attack, slower to come out and doesn't stay as long. He used to come out and jump up on the couch and sit on my lap, now he usually comes and stays by my feet for pets. He did get up the one time and sit on the back of the couch and he jumped up on the couch for a few minutes last night but didn't stay so I think getting better.

the other wrench in things coming up is Thanksgiving, I'm in Canada (are you, too?), our Thanksgiving is next weekend and I'll have my sister and family staying with us. They are cat people and know what has been happening but just the disruption in routine will stress Buddy and Frankie.
have a good night
 

calicosrspecial

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No, he hid under our car. He acts tough but I really think it's fear/insecurity, not toughness.

He stands in the litter box when doing it and only ever does it in the litter box. The box isn't at the door or under the window so it isn't that. I'm really not sure. Often he just pees normally in the box, so he can. It definitely happens less when he seems more relaxed and picks up when something stressful happens so I'm still hoping once he's relaxed it will be much less of an issue.

He is worse than before the attack, slower to come out and doesn't stay as long. He used to come out and jump up on the couch and sit on my lap, now he usually comes and stays by my feet for pets. He did get up the one time and sit on the back of the couch and he jumped up on the couch for a few minutes last night but didn't stay so I think getting better.

the other wrench in things coming up is Thanksgiving, I'm in Canada (are you, too?), our Thanksgiving is next weekend and I'll have my sister and family staying with us. They are cat people and know what has been happening but just the disruption in routine will stress Buddy and Frankie.
have a good night
"No, he hid under our car. He acts tough but I really think it's fear/insecurity, not toughness." - Ok, yes, that is fearful/insecurity. That can be where redirection comes from. :/ I need to try to figure out how to deter intruders.

"He stands in the litter box when doing it and only ever does it in the litter box. The box isn't at the door or under the window so it isn't that. I'm really not sure. Often he just pees normally in the box, so he can. It definitely happens less when he seems more relaxed and picks up when something stressful happens so I'm still hoping once he's relaxed it will be much less of an issue." - Ok. That suggests to me it probably isn't really territorial insecurity Did Frankie ever use that litter box? I am guessing it is his size that at times he feels "tight" or something like that. Let's keep an eye on it and see if he is doing better it happens less. I do wonder if at times he has some discomfort in his legs, etc that makes the normal position uncomfortable.

"He is worse than before the attack, slower to come out and doesn't stay as long." - Yes, that is expected.

" He used to come out and jump up on the couch and sit on my lap, now he usually comes and stays by my feet for pets. He did get up the one time and sit on the back of the couch and he jumped up on the couch for a few minutes last night but didn't stay so I think getting better." - Ok, as long as he isn't attacked etc he will get better. We just need to watch to see if it improves. It may not be if he walks around elsewhere confidently then it wouldn't be a big issue BUT I hope he goes back and hangs out with you all.

"the other wrench in things coming up is Thanksgiving, I'm in Canada (are you, too?), our Thanksgiving is next weekend and I'll have my sister and family staying with us. They are cat people and know what has been happening but just the disruption in routine will stress Buddy and Frankie." - Ok. No, I am in the US. Just do your best. It will be short term stress and if you can still play with them, hang out, etc and try to reassure that would be great. If your guests an just be relaxed, not force attention etc that may help. And just make sure the cats do not have any access to each other. So we may have to have Buddy's door closed for the visit. I am sure it will be fine for him just spend some extra time, reassure him, etc to let him know all is ok. And maybe Buddy will do better than we fear? He seems pretty social so fingers crossed.

"have a good night " - Have a great day, sorry, evenings are a bit busy as I get tired easily and I have a feral colony and the inside animals to take care of.
 
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Hi Calicosrspecial, long time but back with an update. I hope you are doing well!
Thanksgiving and visitors all went by smoothly, Frankie loved having all the company and attention. He has really come out of his shell since we first got him last February! Buddy did well, too, more nervous but got lots of attention and was accepting of pets from everyone but could tell having all the activity around wasn't really his thing :/
My husband is still working on the new gate so we've been making do and I can see progress.
First, Buddy is getting more comfortable. Just this past weekend he has started coming out on his own to sit on the couch in the TV room and look out the window. He used to only come out if I was there or if my husband lured him out with treats. He hangs out on my lap again and overall I can see him getting more confident. I think this is a good break to really give him a chance to settle in.
We've also solved the litter box issue! Turns out my niece's cat, who is also quite large, did the same thing. She suggested to get a big rubbermaid tote with high sides and cut a U in the side for him to get in and out. This has done the trick. It's really big so he has lots of room to move around and the high sides keep him from peeing out of it. At first he would pee against the side but now he isn't. We also put a bird feeder outside the window in his room to give him so good viewing when he is in there :)
The other positive is that they have made eye contact with no hissing. Yesterday, Frankie jumped up on the window ledge outside Buddy's room, Buddy was standing in the doorway, about 10 feet away, saw Frankie and didn't run away. I shook the treats and he came into the room and ate some treats, all with Frankie sitting on the window sill. They've also been on either side of the closed door with neither getting upset. And site swapping has been fine with them both being in the TV room at different times and not reacting to each other's scent. There was one incident about 7-10 days ago where Frankie had given my hands a thorough bath, he is quite a licker, I forgot to wash my hands and went to pet Buddy afterwards and he sniffed my hand, backed off and hissed at me. Since then I have been washing my hands any time Frankie licks me.
Once we get the taller gate up, I will start feeding them on either side of it again. There is going to be a plexiglass window in the new gate so I can start the introduction process again, very slowly.
I think that's all my updates. Will continue to take things slowly and feeling confident we can at least get them to tolerate each other at some point :)
 

calicosrspecial

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Hi Calicosrspecial, long time but back with an update. I hope you are doing well!
Thanksgiving and visitors all went by smoothly, Frankie loved having all the company and attention. He has really come out of his shell since we first got him last February! Buddy did well, too, more nervous but got lots of attention and was accepting of pets from everyone but could tell having all the activity around wasn't really his thing :/
My husband is still working on the new gate so we've been making do and I can see progress.
First, Buddy is getting more comfortable. Just this past weekend he has started coming out on his own to sit on the couch in the TV room and look out the window. He used to only come out if I was there or if my husband lured him out with treats. He hangs out on my lap again and overall I can see him getting more confident. I think this is a good break to really give him a chance to settle in.
We've also solved the litter box issue! Turns out my niece's cat, who is also quite large, did the same thing. She suggested to get a big rubbermaid tote with high sides and cut a U in the side for him to get in and out. This has done the trick. It's really big so he has lots of room to move around and the high sides keep him from peeing out of it. At first he would pee against the side but now he isn't. We also put a bird feeder outside the window in his room to give him so good viewing when he is in there :)
The other positive is that they have made eye contact with no hissing. Yesterday, Frankie jumped up on the window ledge outside Buddy's room, Buddy was standing in the doorway, about 10 feet away, saw Frankie and didn't run away. I shook the treats and he came into the room and ate some treats, all with Frankie sitting on the window sill. They've also been on either side of the closed door with neither getting upset. And site swapping has been fine with them both being in the TV room at different times and not reacting to each other's scent. There was one incident about 7-10 days ago where Frankie had given my hands a thorough bath, he is quite a licker, I forgot to wash my hands and went to pet Buddy afterwards and he sniffed my hand, backed off and hissed at me. Since then I have been washing my hands any time Frankie licks me.
Once we get the taller gate up, I will start feeding them on either side of it again. There is going to be a plexiglass window in the new gate so I can start the introduction process again, very slowly.
I think that's all my updates. Will continue to take things slowly and feeling confident we can at least get them to tolerate each other at some point :)
"Hi Calicosrspecial, long time but back with an update. I hope you are doing well!" - Hi, I hope all is well with all of you as well.

"Thanksgiving and visitors all went by smoothly, " - GREAT!!!

"Frankie loved having all the company and attention. He has really come out of his shell since we first got him last February! " - Wow, I didn't expect that, THAT is WODNERFUL!!

" Buddy did well, too, more nervous but got lots of attention and was accepting of pets from everyone but could tell having all the activity around wasn't really his thing :/ " - Sounds like he did really well also given everything. I would call that really good.

"My husband is still working on the new gate so we've been making do and I can see progress." - Great

"First, Buddy is getting more comfortable. Just this past weekend he has started coming out on his own to sit on the couch in the TV room and look out the window." - TERRIFIC!!!

" He used to only come out if I was there or if my husband lured him out with treats. " - Yes, this is wonderful progress.

"He hangs out on my lap again and overall I can see him getting more confident." - Terrific!!

" I think this is a good break to really give him a chance to settle in." - Totally agree.

"We've also solved the litter box issue! Turns out my niece's cat, who is also quite large, did the same thing. She suggested to get a big rubbermaid tote with high sides and cut a U in the side for him to get in and out. This has done the trick. It's really big so he has lots of room to move around and the high sides keep him from peeing out of it." - PERFECT!!! I had a feeling it was a size issue, GREAT to get that confirmed!!!

"At first he would pee against the side but now he isn't." - Yes, terrific!!!

" We also put a bird feeder outside the window in his room to give him so good viewing when he is in there :)" - Perfect, really good job!!!

"The other positive is that they have made eye contact with no hissing." - Awwwwwwwww. Just try to keep it positive and take it slow.

" Yesterday, Frankie jumped up on the window ledge outside Buddy's room," - Really? So Frankie was outside of the house?

"Buddy was standing in the doorway, about 10 feet away, saw Frankie and didn't run away." - Great

" I shook the treats and he came into the room and ate some treats, all with Frankie sitting on the window sill. " - {PERFECT!!!! Positive association.

"They've also been on either side of the closed door with neither getting upset." - Great. Just feel free to reassure them, give them something positive, etc.

" And site swapping has been fine with them both being in the TV room at different times and not reacting to each other's scent." - Perfect

" There was one incident about 7-10 days ago where Frankie had given my hands a thorough bath, he is quite a licker, I forgot to wash my hands and went to pet Buddy afterwards and he sniffed my hand, backed off and hissed at me." - Ok, not a big deal.

" Since then I have been washing my hands any time Frankie licks me." - Ok but I think you can do some of that as scent swapping. You are positive for Buddy so having Frankie's scent on you will make a positive association eventually.

"Once we get the taller gate up, I will start feeding them on either side of it again. " - Perfect. You can try to feed on each side of the closed door if possible.

"There is going to be a plexiglass window in the new gate so I can start the introduction process again, very slowly." - Wow, perfect.

"I think that's all my updates. " - Well that is a pretty awesome update!!!! :clap2:

"Will continue to take things slowly and feeling confident we can at least get them to tolerate each other at some point :) " - Perfect. Exactly, just follow the process, ask anything anytime and let's get them intro'd.

I suspect the incident was all re-directed aggression from the other outside cat. If I am right that would be a good sign. :)

Keep up the great work and if you want to feed on the opposite sides of the closed door starting a bit away and slowly moving closer you can do that. Keep doing the other stuff, focus on positive associations and positive encounters and keep up the great work.

GREAT job!!!
 
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