For those of you who don't know my story, you can read it here (but it a is very long tearful thread)
I am absolutely heartbroken and regretful over my Meela having to be put down
I just want to let all those struggling for the loss of a pet, that you are not alone here. You are NOT crazy for feeling depressed, sad or even a bit guilty in a pet's death. This board has some great people who know your pain and want to help you.
My Meela's death will be 2 years on Thursday, April 4th, which is also my son's birthday. There is no way I can escape remembering that dreadful day. It's coming and I have broke down several times. Don't get me wrong. I don't sit around every day crying. But I don't think i will ever get over my guilt in how everything played out. I have moved on and I have Meela's full sister and brother now, as well as her mom and dad. Her siblings were pre-planned by me. It may have been wrong letting Momma Abby and Daddy Meeka get together for another litter, but out of it I got a sweet little angel (and brother) that helped fill that hole in my heart. It will never be completely filled because Meela holds a special part of it. But she came along and gave me a place to put my love. She gave me a purpose and the depression started fading.
I want to thank everyone who was there helping me, because honestly, losing her almost broke me completely. No one in my life could truly understand my pain - not my children or husband. I was told I had to get over it and I didn't know how to move on. My husband even told me that my face showed so much hurt and pain that I looked like I aged 10 years. Even now just days before the 2 year marker of losing her (I don't call it an anniversary, because there is no celebration in losing her), I am feeling that I might need guidance again.
I don't come back very often because all the sad posts remind me of what I went through. But I need to be here this week because even though it's been 2 years, I feel like that pain is still fresh. I think about what I was doing these days before I lost her. I don't want to remember. I only want to remember her before she had to have her surgery. I only want to remember her for her.
I am absolutely heartbroken and regretful over my Meela having to be put down
I just want to let all those struggling for the loss of a pet, that you are not alone here. You are NOT crazy for feeling depressed, sad or even a bit guilty in a pet's death. This board has some great people who know your pain and want to help you.
My Meela's death will be 2 years on Thursday, April 4th, which is also my son's birthday. There is no way I can escape remembering that dreadful day. It's coming and I have broke down several times. Don't get me wrong. I don't sit around every day crying. But I don't think i will ever get over my guilt in how everything played out. I have moved on and I have Meela's full sister and brother now, as well as her mom and dad. Her siblings were pre-planned by me. It may have been wrong letting Momma Abby and Daddy Meeka get together for another litter, but out of it I got a sweet little angel (and brother) that helped fill that hole in my heart. It will never be completely filled because Meela holds a special part of it. But she came along and gave me a place to put my love. She gave me a purpose and the depression started fading.
I want to thank everyone who was there helping me, because honestly, losing her almost broke me completely. No one in my life could truly understand my pain - not my children or husband. I was told I had to get over it and I didn't know how to move on. My husband even told me that my face showed so much hurt and pain that I looked like I aged 10 years. Even now just days before the 2 year marker of losing her (I don't call it an anniversary, because there is no celebration in losing her), I am feeling that I might need guidance again.
I don't come back very often because all the sad posts remind me of what I went through. But I need to be here this week because even though it's been 2 years, I feel like that pain is still fresh. I think about what I was doing these days before I lost her. I don't want to remember. I only want to remember her before she had to have her surgery. I only want to remember her for her.