Hi, 3 days ago i had to make a choice for my 6 month old kitten Ezio. He was an amazing cat, he loved his hugs, loved to play and loved to snuggle on a night.
One morning i woke up went to feed my 5 cats and Ezio wasn't there, this wasnt like him he was always on the bench pestering me wile i made his food. I went in to the room he was in and could tell he wasn't to well, i thought it may be a bug so watched him all day but soon noticed it was something worse. The next day, bright and early i took him to the vets for a check up with the mind set the vet would say hes got a bug, give him some pills he will be fine, i was so wrong.
When i got in the vet checked him out and said that all was fine but he had a lump in his bowls, i asked what she ment and she said he must of eating something and it's got stuck. She then told me he would need a xray and then a opp, this would come to £750. I asked what the options where and thats when she said opp or put him to sleep.
My heart sank, i didnt have no one to borrow off and wouldnt have £750 till my months pay 2 weeks away. I also didn't want to let my baby go for a simple opp. I begged the vet to please go ahead with it just let me pay in 2 weeks time, she told me no money no opp that i only had one choice.
I had to chose to put him to sleep, i hug him close and cryed so much. I stayed with him as they did it, hugged and kissed his little head after he passed and cryed saying i was so so sorry for having to chose this.
Like i said at the start its 3 days since now, im doing nothing but cry, feeling sick, cant sleep and wish he was home. I blame my self i should of had insurance on him. I keep asking why i didnt ask for 24 hours so i could think of some way to keep him alive. All i keep thinking is why didn't i do this, why didn't i do that. I feel so guilty and hate my self for it, is this normal ? should i have done more ? i loved little Ezio so much and miss him everyday but i feel i done wrong, was i right or should i have done more ?
One morning i woke up went to feed my 5 cats and Ezio wasn't there, this wasnt like him he was always on the bench pestering me wile i made his food. I went in to the room he was in and could tell he wasn't to well, i thought it may be a bug so watched him all day but soon noticed it was something worse. The next day, bright and early i took him to the vets for a check up with the mind set the vet would say hes got a bug, give him some pills he will be fine, i was so wrong.
When i got in the vet checked him out and said that all was fine but he had a lump in his bowls, i asked what she ment and she said he must of eating something and it's got stuck. She then told me he would need a xray and then a opp, this would come to £750. I asked what the options where and thats when she said opp or put him to sleep.
My heart sank, i didnt have no one to borrow off and wouldnt have £750 till my months pay 2 weeks away. I also didn't want to let my baby go for a simple opp. I begged the vet to please go ahead with it just let me pay in 2 weeks time, she told me no money no opp that i only had one choice.
I had to chose to put him to sleep, i hug him close and cryed so much. I stayed with him as they did it, hugged and kissed his little head after he passed and cryed saying i was so so sorry for having to chose this.
Like i said at the start its 3 days since now, im doing nothing but cry, feeling sick, cant sleep and wish he was home. I blame my self i should of had insurance on him. I keep asking why i didnt ask for 24 hours so i could think of some way to keep him alive. All i keep thinking is why didn't i do this, why didn't i do that. I feel so guilty and hate my self for it, is this normal ? should i have done more ? i loved little Ezio so much and miss him everyday but i feel i done wrong, was i right or should i have done more ?