I Miss My Sweet Girl...

[kgos]

Hello. This is my first post, but I have been lurking around for the past week or so. It will be 1 week tomorrow that I lost my sweet girl...and I am at a complete loss. I've read so many posts, and thought that maybe telling about my Tigger, it might help me to cope or start to feel better...

We have had Tigger since she was 8 weeks old. She would have been 16 this year in June. She was our first pet..before our babies. 4 years ago she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. She was so sick, and the pill to help regulate her made her nauseous, so I put the gel in her ear every night. She made her presence known..constantly getting in your lap for a nap, or letting us know she was hungry, or if her water bowl was not full. Even at 3 or 4 in the morning. There for a while, she would only eat canned food. We were up to 4 cans a day (sharing with our other cat, too)...so when we moved 2 years ago...we were excited that she started eating dry food again. Our other cat, Max, had just been diagnosed with diabetes Saturday, March 24th, and he needed to start eating wet food again. We noticed Tigger stopped eating the dry food and went for the canned. We didn't think anything about it until she stopped eating even the canned food. We could entice some tuna, but just a little. We took her to the vet on Wednesday, and our vet called Thursday with the news that her kidneys were shutting down. Our vet always explained there was a delicate balance of keeping the thyroid happy and the kidneys happy. Her creatine level was at a 10, and her BUN a 190. So we were faced with the most gut wrenching decision... and it still haunts me. I am so glad that we spent the rest of the weekend loving on her, and cuddling. They say that they tell you when they are ready to leave. I never wanted to see it, but her eyes were not the same, and she stopped purring when I had her on my lap. The entire weekend I researched all I could about failing kidneys...and she had most of the end stage symptoms. Our family had to say goodbye to the best kitty we've known. Monday will be a full week...and it is so hard for me to not cry every day. I look for her at home, all her familiar napping spots...we have kept her brush with all her hair, and I cannot bring myself to vacume the back of the couches where she slept. We will be picking up her ashes on Wednesday, and I hope that helps. I've lost family members, but I have never felt the physical symptoms of grief before. It literally hurts. My lap is empty. Part of me wants to stay sad, because I don't want to move on without her. So, please tell me that it does get easier.

 

[Kitty Mommy]

Your Tigger was a beautiful girl and I am so sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't feel like it now but it will get better. It takes time and your heart will heal. Tigger will always be a part of you that you will never let go. Eventually though the sad feelings will give way to remembering all the joy she brought to your life together. This site will help you along the journey.

 

[les26]

I am so sorry that you lost your little cutie pie, you did all that you could to help her but sometimes all the care and love and money in the world can't make them better and sadly it is their time to go, and the bond you had was so so strong so it naturally is unbearable pain to lose her but she is fine now, no more sickness or pain and relieved to be free of her pain ridden body. But it is you who is now hurting, and that is normal because we feel responsible for them 100% and when they pass we feel we failed them but we didn't, their life is so much shorter than ours, but we must go through the grief process and let it take it's course, don't try to hold it in because it only makes it worse, just let it flow and deal with it and crying does help release the bad feelings, but with time and love and prayers and tears it does slowly get better.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

 

[di and bob]

It does get better with time, but not by getting over it, by living through it, and learning to live a life without her in it. It is hard, one of the hardest things you will go through, but eventually your heart will heal.
You have to hold on the belief that she loves you, that love is spiritual, something held in the heart and engrained in the soul, so will always be a part of you. Love means wanting only sunshine and joy for the one you love, not giving darkness and grief. So she wants for you, just as you would want for her if you were the first to go.
Concentrate on the good she brought into your life. Don't let the pain of her leaving overshadow all that happiness. To take over your life and tarnish everything she meant to you. She would not want that for the one she loves above all else.
You will always be connected to her soul through the bond you developed over those years, that is something that can never be taken from you. Even death has no hold over spiritual love. It is eternal.
Her sweet little face is imprinted on your memories forever. Use those precious memories for comfort. And know that although she now follows another path, this new path will always be connected to your own, she will never be far from your life, she will always be close by. One day, your paths will cross once more, and you will be together again forever. Take care of yourself.......RIP sweet Tigger. You will be forever loved and always have a place in a heart that will never never stop missing you. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[kgos]

Thank you so much everyone. This has been the hardest week I've ever lived through. Now, it seems that time is measured by when she left. Today will be 1 week. It has been 1 week since I've held her. I still can't believe that she is gone, and will find myself going to look for her. Sometimes, I think I hear her meowing. I can't get over that I can't hold her anymore, and sometimes I wonder if our other cat has been looking for her, or missing her.

This site has helped me. No one around us really understands the grief that we have been going through. So thank you again.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Tigger, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

Time does not heal, but it does dull the edges. We don't so much "get over" our losses as we "get through" them. Each day, tiny bit by tiny bit, the sweet memories overtake the bitter ones, if we will allow that to happen. And, to my way of thinking, you may well be hearing her meow...a message that says, "Not truly gone, just transformed, translated, purified...still here, still loving you."

 

[di and bob]

How are you doing? Just take one day at a time........

 

[kgos]

How are you doing? Just take one day at a time........

Thank you for checking in....
It still doesn't seem real that my baby is gone. I have moments where it just hits me that I will never get to hold her again, feel her fur, or purr and hear her meow. She had a signature meow that was Tigger. That feels like a punch in the gut. I've learned to tell myself to get through what I need to during the day, and have my moments of grief at night. Last night was tough when I was looking for her before bed. I made a couple photo books for our family to look through, and I love looking through them, but would rather be holding the real thing.

Now I've noticed my other cat, Max has lost more weight. He was just diagnosed with diabetes...and isn't eating canned food at all. I'm not sure if he has been grieving in his own way, or just not wanting to eat canned food. So I've been worrying about him.

 

[di and bob]

It won't ever seem real, your mind will adjust eventually as your heart heals and you accept that even though her physical presence is not there, the 'essence' that made her so special will always be near. You make a new life order for yourself, her sweet memories and and the love you both will always have will help you through it.
I'm sure Max isn't feeling well, I'm so sorry. He is also mourning and sensing you are too. Maybe you can ask the vet about hard food with little to no carbs, or research one on the internet for diabetics. Keep searching for that just right canned, my cats turn their noses up at the more expensive ones and love Friskies Tasty Treasures and those pouches of food in a box. I'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers! PS A friend at work had a cat with diabetes and seizures. She kept him in good/happy health for over ten years after his diagnosis. So meds and good care really do work!

 

[nese]

Sorry for your loss, my condolences. We also lost our sweet boy last year, I feel your pain. He was our first pet, and his loss was so sudden, unexpected and early, he was just 1,5 years old The hardest part was the first week, and also his birthdays. Now, the anniversary of his death approaches, and I think of him everyday barely holding my tears. It is sooo hard to get used to to their absence, and I miss him so much.

Tigger will always be missed and will always be in your heart.

 

[betsygee]

I'm so sorry. It's one of the hardest things in the world to make the decision to let them go, and even harder to get used to it once they're gone. There's no way around the grief, but with time it does get easier. You're in my thoughts, and I hope the best for Max, too.

 

[kgos]

Thank you all so much. I wish I could say that I'm getting used to her not being around, but today has been a hard day, if I'm being honest.