Oh my gosh I hope somebody has an answer to this. My Shadow acts this way with me with the aggressive headbutting
Me too, girl, me too. Does Shadow purr when he/she does this? Do you have other cats, and are they interacting, yet?Oh my gosh I hope somebody has an answer to this. My Shadow acts this way with me with the aggressive headbutting
This is all good to know! I am picking him up a lot (he has never minded it) - I heard that is a way to be "the mom" and is a dominant act. Last night whenever he sat on me, I rolled over just like you said. Good to have confirmation on this - thank you!Sitting on you can be dominance. Also marking. He may be trying to own the world. Cats want to. Lol If they sit on my chest I roll them over to the side and snuggle. If I can I put them on their back to do this. It changes the position into one of trust and of me being loving but also the more dominant. Shared petting can be done when they are together. I don’t hiss at Precious. Bad reaction from him too. A calming voice, petting and reassurance for him because he is only aggressive when he feels his space is violated or he is swatted by another. Hissing works with some but not all.
If Finn wants out, try putting Charlie in for a bit. That gives Finn time to explore, find places to be without Charlie when both are out and a relaxing visit with Mom.
Hoping Finn is urinating okay now.
How long ago did you take him in? How old is he, do you know?Yes he does purr like crazy, and it sometimes ends up with a bite! I don't have any other cats but I do have 3 small dogs that I am worrying about integrating. They sniff at the doorway so far. I'm scared to let it go farther just yet. We did have cats in the family as well up until the last one passed about 1 1/2 years ago. They didn't start out feral however
If you look at page 16 on this thread, I think that's when I was struggling with the biting, and you can read the great advice I got and see if it applies to you. It can be so disconcerting to get bit! Hopefully your guy will settle in and start learning boundaries, lessening his fear. The hissing was the trick for me on the biting - along with the ignoring him for a while after.We caught him and brought him in just over 3 months when he promptly escaped and was hiding in our cabin out back for a couple months. We finally got him fixed almost 6 weeks ago. I've spent lots of time with him every day and hubby works out of town so he bonded with me. I'll try to remember to hiss when bites. He was just cuddling with me so peacefully on the bed for the first time and I changed positions and snap, another bite
Well, this is encouraging. I can't imagine doing this for a year (!) but if I knew that things would work out in the end, I would. As for keeping the emotions in check, I hear that. I had to leave Finn's room last night; after his last attack on Charlie I was so disgusted that I didn't even want to be in the room with him, all the while knowing how ridiculous it was, I just couldn't. I thought better to leave him alone than to try to spend time with him while feeling disgust.Try backing off. Keep your emotions in check. I felt the same way when my feral, Marvin attacked and went after my resident cat Jake. It was heart breaking. I thought over and over, "What have I done?". Yet I saved Marvin from a life of living outside in the dangers. It took us a year and then another 6 months before they started to play and really enjoy each other. Now years later, they are buddies.
Finn is just fine - peeing like a champ. I think we caught it right when it started and the pee part is great. He does still have diarrhea, though, and we have our follow-up vet appointment this week.How is the urinary issue with Finn?
The problem is that Finn won't tolerate the cage now that he's tasted freedom. In fact, since he's had a taste of the house, he wails incessantly any time he hears me moving around. The wailing changes depending on his mood. I will post a vid I took last night with his sad sounding wailing. Other times he screeches and it sounds ANGRY. He wants OUT. When I put him in the cage he looks at me like I'm punishing him and cries and cries.Maybe using the cage for now instead of letting Finn roam free when he comes out.
Well, they don't as long as there is food involved. When there is no food, Finn will still charge Charlie through the barrier.They have no issues at all when there is a barrier.
Thank you, sweet lady. I truly appreciate that.Just posting to let you know I'm still reading, and supporting you.
Trust me, I have thought of everyone in my life as a potential home for Finn, and I've come up empty. My nerves are actually much better when they're out, I just can't watch them interact- I have to busy myself doing something and then we're fine. It's when I hear the yelping that I go step in. It's always Charlie yelping - I don't hear aggressive noises, just defensive noises. And that breaks my heart.If it's affecting you that strongly you may want to consider rehoming Finn, you being stressed out like that is not exactly good for trying to integrate them. If you can find a friend, co-worker, or someone who lives near you to take him in then he'll have a good home even if it's not with you.
Yes, I have 5 feliway/comfort zone diffusers strategically placed throughout the house; one in Finn's room, one in my/Charlie's room, and then 3 throughout the rest of the house.This thread has gotten so long, I can't remember if you've tried Feliway, or calming treats/collars?