How to train kitten to listen to no? Or undestand what he is allowed to do?

[mau harry]

How can I train my kitten to undestand when he is allowed to do something or not?
For example he jumps on my bed and I want him not to, I grab him form his neck, shake him while telling
him no and I redirect him to his own feline bed
Am I doing this wrong?
what can I do in such situations?

 

[talkingpeanut]

Do not grab or shake your kitten. You are going to make him scared of you or injure him.

If you don't want him on your bed, maybe you could keep him out of your room? I'm sure he just wants to be with you and it's hard to understand.

With inappropriate behavior in general, though, you just want to pick the kitten up, put him on the floor while saying no calmly, and repeat as needed.

 

[mau harry]

I can't keep him out of my room cause if I do I'll live him all day long in a room all by himself
Just can't take him out of the room
He will be locked on the room for hours and I will not be able to
supervise him
2 different rooms we will be separated for quite a long time maybe
6 to 10 hours without contact if he is not in my room wit me

 

[di and bob]

My cats sleep with me, your kitten wants to be close to you and to stay warm. The only way I have found is to make their bed better than yours, I got a heated bed for my cat and she won't leave it now. Physical punishment does not work on cats it just makes them afraid of you. They are not like dogs that live to please. You may have to crate him, but he will most likely cry. I hope you find a solution, kittens are creatures that seek warmth and closeness with those they love, i hope you can return that love. 

 

[orientals]

That is just plain wrong. You are not teaching the kitten anything this way other than to get anxious and fearful of you.

Cats are social animals, they bundle up together to sleep. Do you have another cat as a buddy for the kitten? If not, what you're doing is bordering on abuse. Get a kitten and then force to be by itself. Not good.

Please find the little guy/girl a loving home with other cats, or where its allowed to stay with the humans. Sorry if that is harsh but kittens are not toys to be put away when you're tired of plying with them.

 

[ReallySleepy]

How can I train my kitten to undestand when he is allowed to do something or not?
For example he jumps on my bed and I want him not to, I grab him form his neck, shake him while telling
him no and I redirect him to his own feline bed
Am I doing this wrong?
what can I do in such situations?

First of all, I agree with the other posters here.

Kittens do all sorts of wild and wicked things. They will outgrow bad habits fairly quickly, and it's not a good idea to spoil their childhood with too much discipline. Having said this, jumping on your bed is hardly being wicked. It's very hard for the cat to understand that this is bad behavior. You say "for example" - are there other examples?

Many cats will get the message if you say "no" in an angry voice and maybe move the cat (gently) away from where it should not be. I have no idea whether it would work in your case and whether a kitten would understand it.

I am interested in this topic because I find maturity to be an invaluable character trait in cats. One essential aspect of maturity is to understand that a no is a no. My own cat (9 years old) is very mature, and I have had the pleasure of knowing other mature cats. But there are two neighboring cats here that are conspicuously immature. I wonder whether maturity can be taught. So I repeat: are there other examples?

PS: I note with amusement that I have been promoted from Newbie to Kitten. What's next, Feral? No, surely Feral must be the very last stage...

 

[orientals]

It's interesting to me that people seem to think it's ok to dicipline a cat when it's they who want them to live with us.

I have never diciplined my cats, I simply accomodate what is natural behaviour for them as much as possible since it is I who want them in my life.

If you can't accomodate your cat, don't get one.

 

[mingsmongols]

Redirecting a cats behavior is very difficult. There intelligent and manipulative and will do everything in their power to get their way. It is possible though. If I could ask, why don't you want your cat on the bed with you?

 

[orientals]

Kittens are like baby's. You nurture them, keep them safe. You don't dicipline a baby. That would be abuse.

If you want or don't want a certain behaviour from your cat, you make the options too attractive to refuse. But if it's unnatural behaviour you want, just do without a cat or get something more managable like a hamster.

Personally I don't think cats are manipulative, they're just good at getting what they want. And so it should be, they are very close to their feral ancestors, driven by instict. Obstruct their normal behaviour too much and you end up with a depressed cat, or a pooping, peeing out of the box cat.

Do let's remember that for the most part we are talking on this site about cats with people problems, not the other way around.

 

[mau harry]

Ok misunderstanding
I'll rephrase the question
How can I show him I don't want him on bed
At night
Cause if he learns this habit he won't learn to be independent
How is that?
I try to shake him a little to pass a message but as I asked if I am wrong
I had doubt about my actions so that's why I asked
I don't want him to have a certain behavior
Just to understand no
Cause when he grows he is gonna have a hard being by his own
I want him to feel comfortable on his feline bed
Without necessarily having to be with me
If he jumps on my bed all the time and he continues to do that when he grows is it a good thing?
I thing not
And now he is here with me look on the bed
What now?

 

[mau harry]

1480239241640-1929640884.jpg

• mau harry
• Nov 27, 2016

E3

 

[raina21]

Ok misunderstanding
I'll rephrase the question
How can I show him I don't want him on bed
At night
Cause if he learns this habit he won't learn to be independent
How is that?
I try to shake him a little to pass a message but as I asked if I am wrong
I had doubt about my actions so that's why I asked
I don't want him to have a certain behavior
Just to understand no
Cause when he grows he is gonna have a hard being by his own
I want him to feel comfortable on his feline bed
Without necessarily having to be with me
If he jumps on my bed all the time and he continues to do that when he grows is it a good thing?
I thing not
And now he is here with me look on the bed
What now?

Please do not grab your kitten by the neck or shake him! Ever! Cats DO NOT respond to physical punishment. All you are doing by grabbing him and shaking him is making him afraid of you. He will associate you with pain and he will fear you.

Why do you not want your kitten to bond with you? Cats are social animals.

You say you think that when he grows up, it will be harder for him being alone? Do you intend to leave him alone all the time? Because, if so, I'd recommend finding another home for your kitten. One that would be able to give him the attention he deserves.

That being said, if you're only asking if he will be able to be by himself when he is older if he sleeps with you in bed, then the answer is yes. He will be fine by himself even though he may want to sleep with you in bed.

He is just a baby. You are his provider at this point. Of course he is going to want to be around you. That doesn't mean that he is not going to be able to be independent as an adult.

 

[mau harry]

I am just anxious how he will grow up to be
I doubt my abilities to raise him that's why I asked cause I need some help
So if you can guide me I can make him really really happy
I am trying you know
Don't judge me cause I need help
I can't let him be on a room by his own
Cause I can't physically be with him
Cause of problems with the house and other issues
I will not adress here cause are issues I am trying to
resolve but it takes time
I want him with me so he is not alone
I can't do otherwise sorry
He was given to me
And I feel really responsible and really anxious at the same time
And I don't beat him or anything
Cause I don't want to hurt
But sometimes it's too much so I shake him
(Which is wrong I get it)
To stop and just redirect him to play
I feed him ,take care of him,bought him toys and the things he
need
Yesterday actually we went to the vet
and he is healthy
an kicking yesterday he was playing for almost 2 hours straight
I am trying honestly
But I need some help
Ok I am not perfect that's why I need your
guidance to ensure everything will be fine

 

[Norachan]

Hi @Mau Harry

I think you're worrying too much here. He's a cat, not a child. He's going to adapt to your lifestyle really quickly and he's going to let you know what he needs to be happy and comfortable. You don't have to worry about disciplining him or raising him. Cat's know what they need and want.

Let him sleep on the bed with you. Cats are social animals. They keep you warm at night and they help you to relax. When you're not there he's going to occupy himself with his toys or looking out the window or napping. When you come home he's going to want you to pet him and play with him and feed him and then he's going to want to snuggle up to you to let you know how much he appreciates what you do for him.

Imagine how you would feel if your roles and sizes were reversed. If you were a tiny little human living with a huge tiger that you relied on to feed and take care of you. You'd want to be treated kindly and gently, wouldn't you? You'd want to be shown affection and reassured that this giant beast wasn't going to hurt you, even though he easily could.

At his young age he is going to be a lot more clingy and affectionate than an adult cat will be, so enjoy it while it lasts. Show him 0% aggression and 100% love now and he'll grow up to be a wonderful cat

 

[ReallySleepy]

I guess we know too little about your situation. Is this an indoors-only cat? If so, there is no great need for him to become independent. If he goes outdoors at times, he will naturally build the independence he needs, and in that case, he will need a snug place indoors where he can relax and have human company. In either case, sleeping in your bed should not be a problem.

I might add that I have the opposite problem. My own cat is very cozy, but he will not sit on my lap or sleep in my bed. He only jumps onto my bed when he needs to wake me up so that I can let him out at night.  I wish he was more like your cat!

 

[mau harry]

He is bitting my fingers.
I say no
move them away and I show him his toys
Ok he got it he is playing
with his toys
But yet again he does it and I again move away may fingers or feet
And give him a toy of his

I noticed slowly he does it less often

Doea that indicate he begins to understand
He must not play with fingers
But with toys?

Is my action right?
Are we making progress?

 

[tabbytom]

He is just a kitten. He's going through different phases in his life now as he is growing up. Kittens are very much more inquisitive than adult cats and they need lots of loving and attention, not just cat toys or food. They need mummy's love and care. Lots of love and patience is needed.
Never hit or grab and shake the kitten. It's a wrong thing to do. This will only make the kitten distrust you.
Cats will sleep anywhere as they please. One moment they like the bed, after some time, they might prefer to sleep elsewhere.
My experience with my boy is this :- I bought him a cat bed, he dosen't sleep in it. He choose to sleep in the sink. Then he got sick of the sink and he went to sleep in my cupboard. After sleeping in the cupboard for few weeks, he'll sleep under the sofa. Now he dosen't sleep there. Now he sleeps in the bathroom. But at night, he'll sleep on my bed and sometimes he won't even want to come in to the room which I love to have him sleep with me on the bed.
What I'm saying here is, he's a cat. We cannot treat him like a human and reason with him. But you need patience, lots of it together with love, you can teach your cat and he'll understand you. It's not an overnight thing.
Let him grow up happily and normally. Whatever he wants, let him see, smell , feel. After awhile, he won't be so interested in it. Just like my boy, at first I restricted him to enter the rooms and bathrooms. Every time I open the doors, he'll rush in. Now I allow him in and after awhile, he shows less or at times no interest to rush in. It's because we let him see, smell, feel. Whatever we do, he's there and we just tell him just look and after looking and smelling, he'll just walk away. We have no problems with him while we eat. We do the same, let him see and smell and he knows he's not supposed to eat human food.
The more you restrict him, the more he's inquisitive. Just satisfy his inquisitiveness by allowing him to do things with supervision and once he gets use to it, it's easy to say no rather than just shout no every time.
I know i wrote pretty long but I need to get the message across to you. Please respect and love him and teach him, you'll never regret it.

 

[mau harry]

I read a scientific report that said you mustn't allow your kittie go sleep with
I think it referred to grown up ones but either way
The reporr said you shouldn't allow the kitten to sleep with you ar night or he'll always wake you up to play at night and you'll have sleeping problems

You say you let him sleep anywhere
I suppose you have years of experience so I'll ask you

Is it good to always let him sleep whers ever he wants?
Doesn't that mean he will see himself as a god
If he does everything he wants?
(Ancient Egypt )

And then I'll have problem stopping him?

 

[tabbytom]

He is bitting my fingers.
I say no
move them away and I show him his toys
Ok he got it he is playing
with his toys
But yet again he does it and I again move away may fingers or feet
And give him a toy of his

I noticed slowly he does it less often

Doea that indicate he begins to understand
He must not play with fingers
But with toys?

Is my action right?
Are we making progress?

Yes, when he bites your fingers, just say no and distract him with a toy and sometimes just move your hands and feet away from him and say no. After awhile he'll get the idea and you are doing great at the moment. There's progress here and keep it up!

 

[di and bob]

Right now he is a tiny baby, he will grow up and in a year most of these behaviors will stop. Biting fingers is a kitten's way of playing, if you don't want it you tell him no loudly and walk away, leaving him alone is punishment to a kittens way of thinking. He needs toys to play with, all the food he can eat and to be able to sleep next to the one he loves, that is all he wants and needs. He will not see himself as a god, he sees himself right now as a scared baby that has had many changes in his life.  As he gets older he will definitely get more independent. Thank you for trying to learn about these wonderful creatures, it is well worth it for your karma and to share your life with these fascinating little ones!