CAT RULES for our house:
- The cats eat before the people eat
- If a cat is occupying your seat, it is no longer your seat
- If a cat is occupying your lap, you must not move unless the house is on fire. Ringing doorbells, buzzing phones, & full bladders be damned.
- If a cat asks to be pet, pet it. You have been chosen.
- If the cat doesn't want to be petted, don't pet it. Who do you think you are mortal?
- Upon arriving home you must acknowledge the cat before putting away the groceries, hanging up your coat, or sorting the mail. Drop everything you are holding and greet your kitty.
- What's yours is theirs and what's theirs is theirs. It's all theirs.
- If you step on a tail, trip over them, take them to the vet, give them medicine, bathe them, put them on a diet, or look at them wrong, you must spend the rest of your life groveling for an apology and trying to appease them. Keep groveling human.