How do you teach a toddler to respect or leave the cats alone?

[Alicia88]

My son is 2. I've been helping "pet nice" since the day I brought him home from the hospital and he's good for the most part, but he's still a toddler and has his toddler moments. Anytime he gets rough with a cat - he has smacked them, pulled tails or ears, and pulled fur - he gets a firm "no" and an immediate trip to time out. Incidents are rare. My cats don't help, though - they let him do whatever he wants and don't care.

 

[terestrife]

I would keep the cat in part of the house he is never allowed in.

For the kid? Your house, your rules. Keep the rules simple, consistent/ firm & non-negotiable. Because he is 2 keeping them separate should be easier then trying to train him. Little kids are like puppies, sometimes you need to kick them outside

My nephew terrorized my mom’s cats at 4 years old. We kept telling him to not hit the cat! One day the whole family got together and he chased and kicked the cat! My stepdad bent over and gave his but a smack and said “don’t kick the cat” then ignored him. I remember it because his mom was very over protective.

I don’t think that will work with a 2 year old (& I don’t like spanking kids.) in your case I would put the 2 year old on a leash & the cat in a safe room until he is napping. Very high cat shelves would not be the answer because your sweet nephew may climb after the kitty! You can also use a cat stuffed animal to train him how/where to pet the cat & teach him cat body language. It is never to early to teach kids soft pet. I might look for a stuffed animal that looks like your cat so he can play & carry the toy kitty.

Thats unfortunately not possible. I live in a home where every bedroom is taken. I cant have them in my room because of allergies.

For now the high trees are working. My niece is constantly watching him. He doesnt seem as intent on bothering the cats. He visits them, but leaves them alone. I hope it stays that way.

Children have to be taught to be empathetic towards cats or any other animal. It can be done by showing them the natural environment of animals rather than taking them to theme parks or circus where animals are found playing tricks, which allows them to think that the sole purpose of animals is to please humans. Try to give your nephew the responsibility of refilling the kitty's water bowl or teaching him how to pet a cat properly, this will help create a bond between the cat and the toddler. I would suggest don't punish the kid because punishment is harsh, and it teaches nothing.

My niece and i were talking about this. If he starts focusing on the cats again, then we are thinking of having him give them treats. so they can associate him with something positive.

I said leash the toddler or baby gate him out of the hallway not punish the boy. His brain (at 2 years) isn’t developed enough to really get him to follow a lot of rules. Which is why my first instinct is to find a way to keep cat & toddler apart. It only takes a few seconds for the toddler to run to the cat and yank it’s tail ..... which by the way is part of it’s spine! The cat could be seriously injured & the cat may respond by attacking the toddler .... which could injure the kid (cat bites need medical treatment.) If need be you give the cat a safe room by installing a sliding lock at the very top of the door to keep the kid out. I vote only let him interact with the cat when he is calm & an adult is willing to supervise the toddler every second. Little kids move so fast, you turn your back for a second and they into something they shouldn’t be!

Good luck! This victory shot of my 5 year old niece took a lot of work on my part. I had to explain cat body language, where to pet & how yo ‘be the furniture.’ Plus a lot of explaining that if Cami was in her cave or tunnel she was in her room & not to be disturbed. It may take a year or three but you will get there!

no worries. lol we would never abuse a child. I have 3 brothers and a sister, so there are lots of kids in the family. Its just that every child so far has given me different challenges when it comes to pets. lol

He doesnt seem interested in the cats anymore. But if he starts being interested again, then i will look into blocking their area. the problem is that my cat likes to be where i am. Even if i put up a gate, she will follow me to the kitchen, where my nephew is.
EDIT: the picture is beautiful, thank you for sharing.

Sounds like there is more at play then just the cats if he needs to learn not to hit people too. I don't have children myself but have taken classes in child care, child behavior and anthropology of child rearing practices. I also was a camp counselor for 10 years along with the same amount of experience in childcare. All that said, it sounds like firm and consistent boundaries need to be applied in all areas for the toddler in question.

My niece lived with me (along with her parents) from birth until she was 6 years old. I never tolerated any sort of physical outbursts. Hitting even a pillow resulted in immediate conversations about what was wrong and that hitting things was not a way to show anger or frustration. We had a very strict two finger petting with anything living even at petting zoos from the beginning. We did have a cat and after getting scratched for pulling his tail once she never did again (which is common, anything that won't result in serious harm I warn her and tell her if she gets hurt she has to deal with the consequences). I also would immediately stop any hard petting (he was a tough cat and okay with more aggressive petting) reminding her to two finger pet and gently. Its something you have to do every single time, tolerate it once and the child will push the limit. She listened (and still does at 12 years old) more to me then her parents. We do have fun, we laugh and have silly moments. But she very well knows the boundaries on acceptable behavior around me. Every now and then she tests it or brings a bad behavior from her mom (right now we are working through the misconception that being on her period means she doesn't have to do anything). But firm and consistent boundaries and expectations are really everything.

Yeah. We dont know where he learned it from, but he suddenly started slapping people when he is upset mostly. I like the idea of petting with 2 fingers. It just seems that whenever we start showing him the cat and practicing petting, it seems to bring up his interest in them. lol he forgets them, if we dont show them to him.

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Out of topic:
When i was younger the only thing my mom taught about periods is to avoid really strenuous exercises and walking without shoes. Not that you dont do anything, just that you be careful. Since we are on the topic, please let her know to reach out to you if she ever has long term issues with being irregular. This is something i mention to anyone that talks to me about womens health issues. lol I was told for years that it didnt matter what i wasnt regular and now have health issues i am dealing with.

My son is 2. I've been helping "pet nice" since the day I brought him home from the hospital and he's good for the most part, but he's still a toddler and has his toddler moments. Anytime he gets rough with a cat - he has smacked them, pulled tails or ears, and pulled fur - he gets a firm "no" and an immediate trip to time out. Incidents are rare. My cats don't help, though - they let him do whatever he wants and don't care.

Sounds like my cat Kitty. LOL Shes an angel. She has always understood the difference between an adult and a child. I havent seen her hiss, or swat at a child. Many years ago, my niece grabbed her from a chair and threw her down. I remember my panic thinking she would harm the child in retaliation. My niece was just a toddler at the time. But she just shook herself and got back on the chair. Completely ignoring my niece. I realize what a big heart my cat had at that moment. P.S. my niece learned to be kind to the cat, of course. lol They love each other now. I have so many pics of my niece hugging my cat.

 

[Willowy]

When i was younger the only thing my mom taught about periods is to avoid really strenuous exercises and walking without shoes.

OK, I'm super curious, I gotta know, what's with the shoe thing? I can understand the exercise thing---it's not true, as there are many fine female athletes, but I can understand it at least---but what does one's uterine lining have to do with shoes, or the lack thereof?

Ugh, 12. The hormones! I wouldn't be 12 again if you paid me, lol.

 

[terestrife]

This is my niece who is 9 years old. I managed to get Elsa to at least tolerate her. Shes the little girl that Elsa scratched. I had to get Abby to be the one person giving Elsa treats to force Elsa to respect her lol.

So i know its possible. I just need to be patient, and i am nervous as Elsa has scratched before.

Kitty absolutely loves abby and lets her love on her as much as she wants.

 

[terestrife]

OK, I'm super curious, I gotta know, what's with the shoe thing? I can understand the exercise thing---it's not true, as there are many fine female athletes, but I can understand it at least---but what does one's uterine lining have to do with shoes, or the lack thereof?

Ugh, 12. The hormones! I wouldn't be 12 again if you paid me, lol.

Apparently walking on the cold floor can stop your period, which she believed was a bad thing. Funnily enough i ignored her, as did my sister, and when we would walk without shoes on the cold floor, our periods would randomly stop. LOL

i'm curious, do female athletes have their periods regularly though? I have always heard athletes just get to the point that they lose their period. Which is not a good thing.

 

[Willowy]

Apparently walking on the cold floor can stop your period,

I have never even once heard that before! Interesting.

do female athletes have their periods regularly though? I have always heard athletes just get to the point that they lose their period.

It depends on their body fat levels. Some athletes don't have enough body fat to maintain reproduction (the body needs fat to support a pregnancy, so if you don't have enough fat, it just gives up entirely), but a lot of female athletes do manage to stay healthy. Generally speaking, if they stop menstruating, this is taken to be a sign they need to either eat more or train slightly less strenuously, if they have a responsible trainer. There's been a lot of negative attention about that with gymnasts especially, so you might notice that most gymnasts now are somewhat thicker than they used to be.

But basically, most women/girls don't have to worry about exercising too much, because they aren't training like a professional athlete.

 

[terestrife]

I have never even once heard that before! Interesting.

It depends on their body fat levels. Some athletes don't have enough body fat to maintain reproduction (the body needs fat to support a pregnancy, so if you don't have enough fat, it just gives up entirely), but a lot of female athletes do manage to stay healthy. Generally speaking, if they stop menstruating, this is taken to be a sign they need to either eat more or train slightly less strenuously, if they have a responsible trainer. There's been a lot of negative attention about that with gymnasts especially, so you might notice that most gymnasts now are somewhat thicker than they used to be.

I am glad that things are changing for female athletes. With my own health issues, its made me realize how important womens health is. its made me nosey and i speak about it whenever i can.

 

[Kieka]

I am glad that things are changing for female athletes. With my own health issues, its made me realize how important womens health is. its made me nosey and i speak about it whenever i can.

My niece's Mom is not the best role model and uses her period as an excuse to eat sweets and literally do nothing. Dishes? Can't cramps. Vacuum? Sorry, headache. Chocolate? Oh yeah PMSing over here. My niece tried to pull it the first time she came to our house by saying she couldn't pick up her shoes because she had cramps and it hurt to move. Except she was moving just fine until that moment. I do get sometimes its bad but not that conveniently.... plus she then said chocolate would make it stop hurting if I could get her some she would pick up her shoes. Please. Her Mom also told her using scented products was the best option because women smell bad on their period and you need perfume to cover it or no guy will want you. There is a whole lot to unload with that one and I could literally write a book on the things her Mom has said or done.

I don't know if my niece would tell me, but if she does I know. I've also told my brother to bring up the scented sanitary products with my nieces doctor because her Mom said I was giving fake science when I told her that was a bad idea. Anyways.... way off subject. Sorry.

 

[danteshuman]

I don’t know about all that mallarky but midol was a life saver when I was a teen!

Now that I’m older as will not be having kids, I’m looking forward to never having a period again! Bring on menopause!!!

That said I have MS and a lot of pain. I might suggest a plaque or something like ‘women are the strongest creatures on earth’ or something like that. I’m partial to my bathroom tree sticker because that is how I feel with my walker, like I can almost do normal things. You learn to try to work around the pain and physical limitations. Like taking breaks or using a hot pad

 

[terestrife]

My niece's Mom is not the best role model and uses her period as an excuse to eat sweets and literally do nothing. Dishes? Can't cramps. Vacuum? Sorry, headache. Chocolate? Oh yeah PMSing over here. My niece tried to pull it the first time she came to our house by saying she couldn't pick up her shoes because she had cramps and it hurt to move. Except she was moving just fine until that moment. I do get sometimes its bad but not that conveniently.... plus she then said chocolate would make it stop hurting if I could get her some she would pick up her shoes. Please. Her Mom also told her using scented products was the best option because women smell bad on their period and you need perfume to cover it or no guy will want you. There is a whole lot to unload with that one and I could literally write a book on the things her Mom has said or done.

I don't know if my niece would tell me, but if she does I know. I've also told my brother to bring up the scented sanitary products with my nieces doctor because her Mom said I was giving fake science when I told her that was a bad idea. Anyways.... way off subject. Sorry.

No worries. I have three brothers and a sister. I dont have children, so my nieces and nephews have to put up with whatever motherly instincts i have. I will scold them if necessary. lol

Us aunts are meant to try to fix the weird mess ups happening in our neices and nephews lives. So i completely understand. Dont give up on her. We all had our spoiled moments as kids, i remember some of mine vividly. Just guide her, and help her be a better person.

I don’t know about all that mallarky but midol was a life saver when I was a teen!

Now that I’m older as will not be having kids, I’m looking forward to never having a period again! Bring on menopause!!!

That said I have MS and a lot of pain. I might suggest a plaque or something like ‘women are the strongest creatures on earth’ or something like that. I’m partial to my bathroom tree sticker because that is how I feel with my walker, like I can almost do normal things. You learn to try to work around the pain and physical limitations. Like taking breaks or using a hot pad View attachment 333014

Women are pretty amazing, i will give you that. lol I'm sorry for the struggles you are going through health wise. I love that bathroom sticker! lol Things changed for my mom when she got her walker and could go out more, so i completely understand.

(For anyone that is grossed out by womens health issues stop here. lol)

I am 35 and a part of me is looking forward to menopause. I spent all my life going months-years without a period. Then suddenly three years ago i started having abnormal bleeding, and such horrible cramping. I would be at work running to the bathroom every 30 minutes because of the huge clots that i had. It was horrible, and i still had to wake up and go to work. Its been hard, but women are survivors. lol My health issues have taught me that. note: im in treatment for abnormal uterine cells that can turn cancerous if untreated. My gyno explained it was caused from all my years not having a period. He looks so angry when i told him about that. lol

 

[Lari]

The heating pad was always my go to during my period! I used to get bad cramps in high school and didn't carry around medication, so I would take bathroom breaks and position myself so my abdomen was under the hand dryer and the hot air felt so good.

I feel like using my cup/disc during my periods helped too (I use the disposable softdics, but I rinse and use one for the whole cycle rather than throwing them out every twelve hours. Stuff I've read online seems to think that's fine). Something about maybe the chemicals or whatever in pads (tampons never worked well for me), or just that I feel more secure and it's psychosomatic idk.

 

[neely]

Bring on menopause!!!

Be careful what you wish for. I thought the same thing but having recently gone through menopause I told my doctor I'd give anything to have my period back. I guess there's pros and cons to everything.

 

[terestrife]

The heating pad was always my go to during my period! I used to get bad cramps in high school and didn't carry around medication, so I would take bathroom breaks and position myself so my abdomen was under the hand dryer and the hot air felt so good.

I feel like using my cup/disc during my periods helped too (I use the disposable softdics, but I rinse and use one for the whole cycle rather than throwing them out every twelve hours. Stuff I've read online seems to think that's fine). Something about maybe the chemicals or whatever in pads (tampons never worked well for me), or just that I feel more secure and it's psychosomatic idk.

I still use heating pads, very comforting and helps with the pain. The medicine i am on has stopped my period, and so i only spot here and there. So i started using menstrual panties. They are so comfy! I dont have to worry about anything overnight. I started using them as i would wake up with a huge stain around me as i never knew when i would bleed. They are pretty amazing.

Be careful what you wish for. I thought the same thing but having recently gone through menopause I told my doctor I'd give anything to have my period back. I guess there's pros and cons to everything.

Watching my sister go through it was eye opening. She doesnt even seem to be herself most days. Its pretty scary. Shes in her 50s and still tells me she wishes she could have her period.

 

[Lari]

I still use heating pads, very comforting and helps with the pain. The medicine i am on has stopped my period, and so i only spot here and there. So i started using menstrual panties. They are so comfy! I dont have to worry about anything overnight. I started using them as i would wake up with a huge stain around me as i never knew when i would bleed. They are pretty amazing.

I got extremely lucky in my mid 20s when I started birth control that it basically stopped most of my period cramps.. I still have my heating pad! I've occasionally gotten them, but not near like I used to back in my high school and college days. I've also heard good things about the menstrual panties! Not waking up to stains is always a good thing.

 

[molly92]

For people who are sick of periods...ask your doctor about and do some research on taking birth control continuously! It just means skipping the placebo pills in the birth control pack and taking the hormonal ones all days of the month.

I know that sounds crazy, and it's not for everyone. Some people don't like how they feel on hormonal birth control, and some people shouldn't take it if they are at risk for blood clots or have a family history of breast cancer. And for some people it doesn't work well and spotting still happens.

But if it does work, it's amazing. No more PMS, no more buying tampons and pads.

There is a lot of very good evidence that hormonal birth control reduces your risk of uterine and ovarian cancers by somewhere around 50%, which is a) a huge amount, and b) the only preventative known for these cancers, aside from a hysterectomy. This data has been well known for decades, and I can only assume it's not more well known because of stigma around women's reproductive issues. And skipping the placebo pills reduces your risk even further.

The theory is that periods are pretty rough on the body, so having lighter ones or even none at all saves those organs from a lot of damage. Periods don't do anything for you if you're not trying to get pregnant. You don't need to have them to be healthy or more of a "woman." (Sometimes periods stopping on their own is a sign of other problems, but periods themselves aren't an issue).

Sorry to preach a bit. My dad's an OB/GYN and I'm always astonished how often smart, well-informed women don't know these things about birth control, so I try to spread the word. Not trying to sway anyone one way or another, just get some facts out there! For what it's worth, I take BC continuously (I used to have really heavy, long periods) and I LOVE it.

 

[terestrife]

For people who are sick of periods...ask your doctor about and do some research on taking birth control continuously! It just means skipping the placebo pills in the birth control pack and taking the hormonal ones all days of the month.

I know that sounds crazy, and it's not for everyone. Some people don't like how they feel on hormonal birth control, and some people shouldn't take it if they are at risk for blood clots or have a family history of breast cancer. And for some people it doesn't work well and spotting still happens.

But if it does work, it's amazing. No more PMS, no more buying tampons and pads.

There is a lot of very good evidence that hormonal birth control reduces your risk of uterine and ovarian cancers by somewhere around 50%, which is a) a huge amount, and b) the only preventative known for these cancers, aside from a hysterectomy. This data has been well known for decades, and I can only assume it's not more well known because of stigma around women's reproductive issues. And skipping the placebo pills reduces your risk even further.

The theory is that periods are pretty rough on the body, so having lighter ones or even none at all saves those organs from a lot of damage. Periods don't do anything for you if you're not trying to get pregnant. You don't need to have them to be healthy or more of a "woman." (Sometimes periods stopping on their own is a sign of other problems, but periods themselves aren't an issue).

Sorry to preach a bit. My dad's an OB/GYN and I'm always astonished how often smart, well-informed women don't know these things about birth control, so I try to spread the word. Not trying to sway anyone one way or another, just get some facts out there! For what it's worth, I take BC continuously (I used to have really heavy, long periods) and I LOVE it.

Thats what my gyno explained to me. He explained that if the body itself stops having a period thats not a good thing, but using medication to stop it is not a bad thing. Because the medication is still supplying you hormones.

Personally, i dont like taking medication, but perhaps if i had gotten on birth control i wouldnt be dealing with the health issues i have. My original gyno, 20 years ago, always told me not to worry. I wish he had been more informed i wouldnt be dealing with this right now.

 

[Willowy]

So i started using menstrual panties. They are so comfy! I dont have to worry about anything overnight. I started using them as i would wake up with a huge stain around me as i never knew when i would bleed. They are pretty amazing.

This thread has taken quite a turn, lol. But anyway, yes! I LOVE period panties! I don't even get the "good" ones like Thinx, just the cheap knockoff kind from Amazon. I use cloth pads due to sensitivities, so now I don't have to worry about them soaking through, plus I never have to wash blood stains out of my sheets anymore. And if it's a day or two before I'm supposed to start, I just wear the panties and don't have to worry about any surprises. I think everybody who menstruates should get them. If I had them when I was a teen, it would have been a real game-changer. No worrying about leaks!

(Maybe there should be a "ladies' issues" thread in the Lounge?)

 

[Alicia88]

I want to get something like that for post baby. I'm almost 36 weeks and I remember it being so miserable with the constant moisture and leaking after my son was born.

 

[Xraystyle]

Yeah in regards to athletes, these days they don't necessarily stop because of the body fat thing because nutritionists are better at keeping female athletes from getting to that point (because it doesn't help performance either). They mostly don't get them due to the type of birth control they use. I don't use any kind of birth control myself, but I know there are types that can completely stop your period or reduce the frequency. Between that and clearing acne, you'd think I'd be on BC, but the last time I tried it in college I was always nauseous and I don't like spending time/effort trying out different kinds, especially now that I'm in a foreign country, so I haven't made the effort to try again (never mind not needing it for its actually intended purpose, lol--you know, maybe they should stop calling it birth control? Especially since the government likes to use that excuse for not providing coverage for it??)

I've definitely been thinking about Thinx (or alternative)! I don't like wearing tampons, so the Diva cup is probably definitely not an option) I wear pads but I'm also an athlete and yeah...I tend to avoid working out that week just because of comfortableness, not really because of tiredness/pain. Thinx would probably be great to get through a 2 hour training session worry-free!

 

[terestrife]

This thread has taken quite a turn, lol. But anyway, yes! I LOVE period panties! I don't even get the "good" ones like Thinx, just the cheap knockoff kind from Amazon. I use cloth pads due to sensitivities, so now I don't have to worry about them soaking through, plus I never have to wash blood stains out of my sheets anymore. And if it's a day or two before I'm supposed to start, I just wear the panties and don't have to worry about any surprises. I think everybody who menstruates should get them. If I had them when I was a teen, it would have been a real game-changer. No worrying about leaks!

(Maybe there should be a "ladies' issues" thread in the Lounge?)

lol i agree it made my life so much easier and yes a thread like that would be great, sorry that the topic turned this way. lol Itid h would be a great thread to share experiences especially for anyone young in the forum.


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As an update: The baby seems to have lost interest in the cats. He is started to walk around people with his cars to avoid hitting them. lol I am not sure how long this will last, but for now he doesnt seem interested in them. If his interest in piqued again then we will try teaching him how to play. Im worried about making him obsessed with the cats.