When I lost my soul cat three years ago, I was struck by some words that my vet gave me. He was a good cat who had to battle a bad illness. He fought as hard as he could but he just couldn't survive it. I struggled a long time with his passing. He was alone. He wasn't supposed to die. Was he scared? Did he feel abandoned?
I know in the end he simply curled up and went to sleep. His little body was tired. I didn't even want them to do an necropsy because I couldn't handle the thought of him being cut open. So he came home to me in an urn. It took months before I felt better. Slowly, I stopped cradling that urn. I spend more time with his little sister. I loved her as much as I could and I realized that she might have missed him in the beginning but she soon forgot.
I didn't ever forget. I haven't forgotten how he declined and I haven't forgotten how he looked in the last photo the vet sent me before he died. My chest still feels tight when I think about him. It does get better. You will live through this. You will love those other kitties through this as well.
I know in the end he simply curled up and went to sleep. His little body was tired. I didn't even want them to do an necropsy because I couldn't handle the thought of him being cut open. So he came home to me in an urn. It took months before I felt better. Slowly, I stopped cradling that urn. I spend more time with his little sister. I loved her as much as I could and I realized that she might have missed him in the beginning but she soon forgot.
I didn't ever forget. I haven't forgotten how he declined and I haven't forgotten how he looked in the last photo the vet sent me before he died. My chest still feels tight when I think about him. It does get better. You will live through this. You will love those other kitties through this as well.