It is natural to second guess yourself and say "if only" when we lose someone we love. It's a phase of the grieving process. You are going through this process
veronica00
now, and unfortunately it's not easy and there's no way around it. Just time. You WILL start to feel better, and you WILL stop blaming yourself. I hope you can soon come to see how lucky Petey was to have a human who loved him so. You did all that you could for him and you gave him a wonderful life where he was cherished. He was a lucky cat indeed. You won't ever forget him and you'll never really be OK that he died, but you definitely will come to accept his passing and know that you gave him a good life.
Please take care of yourself and allow yourself to be comforted by your other two cats.
Please take care of yourself and allow yourself to be comforted by your other two cats.