Himicat The Timid's Training Thread: Relationship Building (cat & Human)

caesg

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Hello, all! I would like to use this thread specifically as a training log, open to any thoughts, suggestions, and encouragement (especially encouragement!) of course. It will also provide a space for me to look back and see what progress has been made over time. Technically, I could do this in a notebook with pen and paper. However, I find the support of a community particularly motivating. So, we're going to give this a shot!

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HimiCat is a Himilayan Lynx Point mix. She was living outside in a neighborhood giving birth to litter after litter of kittens before a neighbor realized that this gorgeous puss wasn't an outdoor cat, she was a (reverted?) feral! So, they connected with the local humane society, who put her and her most recent batch of kittens in foster care. From there, she found her way into my home several years ago. I'll need to look at my documentation to remember her age. Let's guess at....6 years old?

HimiCat is very timid around humans. Although, she loves other animals! Our current training goal is to is to help her feel more comfortable around humans. I should work that into a SMART goal somewhere down the line. I am working with a fantastic trainer who lays out proper training plans and everything. She really is amazing. Our current subgoal is to help HimiCat understand that she can make me go away, that she has some control when it comes to her relationship with the resident humans.

What that looks like, currently, is that for short (2--5 minute) sessions each day when she is in a relaxed position I will slowly approach her, watching for any signs of discomfort. When I notice a sign of discomfort, I stop approaching. I then stand/sit still and watch for any sort of appeasement signal (tongue flick, looking away from me, turning her back to me, etc) or other change that can be used for communication. As soon as I notice one of these signals, I leave the room. (Again, the idea being that she learns that she can "make me go away.")

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28 July 2018

Today was composed of two short sessions, back to back.

Session 1. HimiCat was splayed out on the floor in the same room as me while I typed at the computer. I stood up, and approached her slowly. When I noticed her breathing start to speed up, I stopped. When her breathing slowed down to a more normal speed, I left the room. ~2 minutes.

Session 2. I walked back in the room. She looked at me, and ran up the cat tree. So, I immediately stopped. She paused at the cat tree and looked at me. I stayed in place. Then, she progressed to he pilllow-pad, turned her back to me, and started "making muffins" on the pillow-pad. I took the turning her back to me as an appeasement signal and left the room. ~1 minute.

Thoughts: I think that it probably would've been better for me to have not conducted Session 2 because I think she was still a bit revved up from Session 1. Tomorrow, I will not conduct any sessions back to back.
 

KarenKat

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I’ve never trained a cat before, but I’m excited to see how it goes! You sound so thoughtful and respectful of her boundaries, this seems like it will progress really well. Good luck!
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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This has the makings of a most excellent thread! Thank you for wanting to share your experience... I hope to learn a lot!
:petcat:
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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C caesg - I do have a question right off the bat. :)

When you say you stopped moving or stopped approaching according to her reactions, do you just stand there? Look away and stand there? Look at her while standing there? Drop to the floor and sit? I'm just wondering what effect some of those options might have.
 
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caesg

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PushPurrCatPaws PushPurrCatPaws . Well, I'm still learning how to do all this and each time the trainer comes over I learn things (that I'm doing right and...) new things that I thought I was doing right but actually was doing wrong. So, pinches of salt and all that. ^_^

When I stop moving or stop approaching according to her reactions, I just stand there, with loose and relaxed body language. I look at her so that I can tell when her body language changes; however, I avoid eye contact. If I'm in an awkward position or a position where it is difficult to observe her, then I will slowly move into a different position (for example, sitting) while maintaining the same degree of proximity (not moving either closer to or farther away from) HimiCat
 
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caesg

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KarenKat KarenKat . Your tortie is beautiful! Thank you for your kind response. I look forward to learning together among a community of fellow cat lovers. :caticon:

PushPurrCatPaws PushPurrCatPaws . Oh, thank you! I know that I will be learning a lot. I have a hard time sticking a regular training schedule, and I'm hoping that participating in a community of like minded folks will help gently reinforce and hold me accountable. Thank you for your interest!
 

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C caesg Olive thanks you! And welcome to the forum, so far I think we have been learning much from you!
 

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Interesting. I tell people to let the cat be the boss of your progress, so I'm certainly a believer in the general concept, but this seems like a fairly extreme application of the concept. Are treats or toys currently part of your process at all? What about sitting quietly in the same room?
 
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caesg

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A ArtNJ . Yeah, I agree that it's an extreme version. I play with HimiCat with toys (her favorite, currently is the Cat Dancer) and she's comfortable sitting quietly in the same room as me. She appears to enjoy being in the same room with humans, just gets startled by our movements and does not want to be touched. This makes things like taking her to the vet difficult. While I'm ashamed to admit it, we've never taken HimiCat to the vet. The vet recently suggested gabapentin and we're going to use that for her first vet visit, this August. Another reason that we want to work on the human/cat relationships is because TortieCat has a hard time coresiding with HimiCat. HimiCat loooooves TortieCat. TortieCat does not return that love and can be a bit of a bully. Right now, completing any sort of relationship building between HimiCat and TortieCat would be extremely difficult because I don't have any way of moving HimiCat from one place to another. She won't let me touch her (except on very rare occasions--about once a month-- and at her beckoning) at all. Potentially, I could work on moving her from one location to another via targeting. However, she finds humans moving into her space (within about 6 feet of wherever she is) stressful. And all of this is after living with her and doing the typical playing with her, reading quietly in the same room with her, waiting for her to approach me, etc, type stuff for about... 4 years?
 

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I've been training my kitten Bubbles for some time now though all he knows is stand. I'm trying to also train my new kitten Bibbles, though I can't find a treat that he likes. I find that using a clicker actually helps, and I'm hoping that Bibbles observes Bubbles and realise that a click equals a tasty treat.
 

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Oh wow, 4 years with a responsible thoughtful owner! I can see why you called in an expert. Do keep us posted. Frankly sounds like an uphill battle, but if you do succeed it seems to me that it would be proof of the concepts the trainer is teaching you.

Keep fighting the good fight!
 

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I just adopted a kitten and while not feral, she is very timid, which I think goes past just being in a new home. So I will be watching this thread for ideas on how to take it slow with her! Looks interesting. Thanks for sharing.
 
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caesg

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Mr.Fizzy Mr.Fizzy I love it! I hope that Bibbles observes Bubbles and figures things out, too. It took a long time for me to find foods that TortieCat would work for. What treats does Bubbles like? What treats have you tried out with Bibbles?

A ArtNJ . Lol. Yeah, uphill battle. Luckily, I enjoy it and find the investigations super interesting. What strange hobbies we take up! The trainer was upfront that while we're starting out with the current methods, that there will probably be a lot of back and forth as we adjust to what seems to work and not work with HimiCat. She has a cat that was a hider and wouldn't interact with humans at all that she worked with for months in a similar manner to what is described above before making what really felt like progress. I'll have to ask her what the cat's behaviours are like, today! Thanks for the encouragement. :)

GreyLady GreyLady . We shall all work together for the benefit of our kittehs! What's the guess on the kitten's age?
 
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caesg

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Training Log
29 July 2018


3 Approaches, each separated by at least an hour throughout the day. Each took about 1 minute total (including approach, stop in response to stress signals, leave following some sort of signal that has communication potential.) This is improvement. When we first started, she would stay frozen in the "stressed" position/behavior for 4 minutes or more. HimiCat allowed me to approach to about 4 feet.

Stress indicators that brought me to stop: Breathing faster than usual. Staring me down.

Changes, that I "left"/walked away in response to: eyes blink, closing eyes

Other: Played for about two minutes with the Cat Dancer. She caught and gnawed on it! :) MrLoverMan also played with her with the cat dancer later on. MLM reports "she didn't really seem interested, just annoyed with me is all." :)

Other: She continues to utilize more space. Instead of just living in the top level of her cat tree, she is back to using the heavy fabric that I folded up for her (she used to like this but then we rearranged the room and she retreated to hidey spots for a while.) Also, she was lounging off the edge of the filing cabinets which was brand new (in a protected corner of the room where we don't go very often.) She continues to observe the humans. If we move to the kitchen, she'll relocate to the doorway between the kitchen and the bedroom. At night, she'll move between the various rooms of the house.
 

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GreyLady GreyLady . We shall all work together for the benefit of our kittehs! What's the guess on the kitten's age?
Six months. Shelter says birth date is in January 23rd. I have a thread for her here :) Knowing When To Progress With New, Shy Kitten

She seems to be doing very well, judging by other's reactions. I think now Im lucky she is coming out by me at all so soon, approaching me for food, letting me play with her.

I have been doing something similar to you, where if she looks taken aback I step back, or look the other way and close/blink my eyes. Then, she usually stays out and sometimes even comes closer. Today I walked in the room and she was sitting on a chair close to her bed sanctuary, she looked at me and blinked and it made me so happy! I of course gave her a long blink back. Then I let her be.

It seems like your kitty is definately making progress, it's good that she is feeling safe to use more space! Its because you are respecting her insecurities
 

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C caesg : Bubbles is simply obsessed with mighty raw (not sure if its available outside of Australia) See package below. As for Bibbles, this kid eats EVERYTHING, and is way too energetic.
 
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caesg

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Training Log Aug 26, 2018

Only about two minutes today. I want to read over the instructions, again. Today, I would walk towards Himicat, she would freeze and look at me. I stopped. When she looked away from me (sometimes turning her head away, sometimes simply averting her gaze) I walked away.
 
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