Help/Advice for introductions

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Graham18

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"Hello :)" - Hello!!! Good start seeing a smiley face!!!

"Usually Sapphires door is closed when Fluffy is out. He far too often wants to go try and find her and I don't have it in me to keep following him around the house haha." - Ok, understandable.

"Her giving me a wack was just something she does when she's nervous. It's never very forceful, usually just a warning that she doesn't want to be petted at the time and to leave her alone, at which point I'll just talk to her instead." - Ok, great you recognize and respect her wishes. Great job.

"Things went well for two face to face times yesterday." - GREAT!!!

" In the afternoon, Fluffy did get ready to chase her once," - Ok, how so, did you stop him?

" however she ran upstairs in what, at least to my eyes, looked somewhat playful. " - Interesting. I really think that is her "way". Very interesting.

"No other change. " - Great

"Just Sapphire either growling or hissing at him getting him excited, but not enough yet for him to lunge at her. " - Ok. Can you get video of that? GREAT he is behaving. I just wonder if she is wanting to get him to play..............................

Pretty exciting, sounds great. Hopefully you can do a "hang out" session and see how it goes. Just be relaxed, calm, confident, act like all is well. Try to get one of them to hang with you (safely). Stuff like that. Just feel the love you have for them and let them know it. :)

They are ready. :)

Keep up the great work!! Amazing!!!! :)
I usually just stop him either by standing in front of him or if I'm sitting I'll just pet him and talk to him and get a treat for him to chase instead. He's not as fast as he was anymore so I can usually see it and step in.

I will try and get a video for sure!
 

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I usually just stop him either by standing in front of him or if I'm sitting I'll just pet him and talk to him and get a treat for him to chase instead. He's not as fast as he was anymore so I can usually see it and step in.

I will try and get a video for sure!
"I usually just stop him either by standing in front of him or if I'm sitting I'll just pet him and talk to him and get a treat for him to chase instead. " - Ok. Great. Tells me his desire to go to her is all on the positive side. Good job.

"He's not as fast as he was anymore so I can usually see it and step in." - Hahahaha, well, I think he is probably as fast as he was BUT he just has learned that maybe he shouldn't be doing that. ;)

"I will try and get a video for sure!" - Great, seeing them, their body language, is really important so I know exactly what they are thinking. I think I know but just want to make sure.

Keep up the great work. You should really be proud!!
 
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"I usually just stop him either by standing in front of him or if I'm sitting I'll just pet him and talk to him and get a treat for him to chase instead. " - Ok. Great. Tells me his desire to go to her is all on the positive side. Good job.

"He's not as fast as he was anymore so I can usually see it and step in." - Hahahaha, well, I think he is probably as fast as he was BUT he just has learned that maybe he shouldn't be doing that. ;)

"I will try and get a video for sure!" - Great, seeing them, their body language, is really important so I know exactly what they are thinking. I think I know but just want to make sure.

Keep up the great work. You should really be proud!!
I did my best to take two videos tonight. One is about two minutes and the other is only about 20 seconds. I want to apologize in advance for the choppy-ness of the videos. It's quite difficult taking a video with one hand and getting treats/giving pets with the other haha. I apologize for the motion sickness.

The second video is a link as it was too short to embed in the post.


Sapphire and Fluffy November 14/21 2

Sapphire was a little more nervous/angry than usual tonight in the videos. About 5/10 minutes after the second video, she did seem less nervous and her tail was wagging like crazy. After Fluffy went to bed, she was running back and forth across the house/upstairs and downstairs/jumping all over the place.
 

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I did my best to take two videos tonight. One is about two minutes and the other is only about 20 seconds. I want to apologize in advance for the choppy-ness of the videos. It's quite difficult taking a video with one hand and getting treats/giving pets with the other haha. I apologize for the motion sickness.

The second video is a link as it was too short to embed in the post.


Sapphire and Fluffy November 14/21 2

Sapphire was a little more nervous/angry than usual tonight in the videos. About 5/10 minutes after the second video, she did seem less nervous and her tail was wagging like crazy. After Fluffy went to bed, she was running back and forth across the house/upstairs and downstairs/jumping all over the place.
"I did my best to take two videos tonight. One is about two minutes and the other is only about 20 seconds. I want to apologize in advance for the choppy-ness of the videos. It's quite difficult taking a video with one hand and getting treats/giving pets with the other haha. I apologize for the motion sickness." - Great, no need to apologize it is hard. I am sure it is fine.

"The second video is a link as it was too short to embed in the post. " - Ok


MY GOODNESS - THEY ARE ADORABLLY GORGEOUS!!! Look at them!!!

Video 1 - AMAZING!!!! PERFECT!!! Sapphire looks great, great, great body language, and Fluffy is doing well. Perfect. I do sense tension in you, just try to go with it, they were doing great. At the end I would have loved for you to call over Sapphire and shee is she would come and he would behave. But perfect video on all levels.

Video 2 - Really short but positive, good body language, etc.

From the videos I am totally happy with them. They are definitely ready. I am not seeing one issue. I know I don't see them always but if there were real issues I would see them in one of those.

Try to watch them, their body language, and feed off it (positively). When they are acting like that all is well. SO you can give them some leeway. I sense you are really worried about Fluffy going after her but he isn't showing any signs of aggression, etc. He is really good.

"Sapphire was a little more nervous/angry than usual tonight in the videos." - Ok, I thought she looked great so if she does better that is great.

" About 5/10 minutes after the second video, she did seem less nervous and her tail was wagging like crazy. " - OK, great. I am guessing she wanted to play.

"After Fluffy went to bed, she was running back and forth across the house/upstairs and downstairs/jumping all over the place." - Awwwwww, she DID want to play. Terrific!!!

Fantastic!! They are definitely ready, we need you to trust them, get to Sapphire's level of trust and I think they will even feed off that and we'll get a positive positive feedback loop. They are ready when you are. :) GREAT JOB!!!!!

Keep up the great work and if you can get more videos that is great.
 
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"I did my best to take two videos tonight. One is about two minutes and the other is only about 20 seconds. I want to apologize in advance for the choppy-ness of the videos. It's quite difficult taking a video with one hand and getting treats/giving pets with the other haha. I apologize for the motion sickness." - Great, no need to apologize it is hard. I am sure it is fine.

"The second video is a link as it was too short to embed in the post. " - Ok


MY GOODNESS - THEY ARE ADORABLLY GORGEOUS!!! Look at them!!!

Video 1 - AMAZING!!!! PERFECT!!! Sapphire looks great, great, great body language, and Fluffy is doing well. Perfect. I do sense tension in you, just try to go with it, they were doing great. At the end I would have loved for you to call over Sapphire and shee is she would come and he would behave. But perfect video on all levels.

Video 2 - Really short but positive, good body language, etc.

From the videos I am totally happy with them. They are definitely ready. I am not seeing one issue. I know I don't see them always but if there were real issues I would see them in one of those.

Try to watch them, their body language, and feed off it (positively). When they are acting like that all is well. SO you can give them some leeway. I sense you are really worried about Fluffy going after her but he isn't showing any signs of aggression, etc. He is really good.

"Sapphire was a little more nervous/angry than usual tonight in the videos." - Ok, I thought she looked great so if she does better that is great.

" About 5/10 minutes after the second video, she did seem less nervous and her tail was wagging like crazy. " - OK, great. I am guessing she wanted to play.

"After Fluffy went to bed, she was running back and forth across the house/upstairs and downstairs/jumping all over the place." - Awwwwww, she DID want to play. Terrific!!!

Fantastic!! They are definitely ready, we need you to trust them, get to Sapphire's level of trust and I think they will even feed off that and we'll get a positive positive feedback loop. They are ready when you are. :) GREAT JOB!!!!!

Keep up the great work and if you can get more videos that is great.
I will definitely try and get more videos for sure.

It is definitely myself that is holding them back unfortunately. I have a tendency to see the most negative in everything, in this case, Sapphires endless growling towards him when he's close to her.

During Monday night's intro, she was growling at him quite a bit and I did try calling her closer, but she would only just barely come for a treat and would start growling. I did notice Fluffy get worked up a bit and he started to get into his pouncing/lunge position so I had to give him a pet and distract him with a treat. It is times like that, where I get even more nervous and stressed and I think it sets my trust level back.

Unfortunately, a snow plow drove passed the house and the sound scared Sapphire so she ran upstairs to hide and the intro was cut fairly short.
 

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I will definitely try and get more videos for sure.

It is definitely myself that is holding them back unfortunately. I have a tendency to see the most negative in everything, in this case, Sapphires endless growling towards him when he's close to her.

During Monday night's intro, she was growling at him quite a bit and I did try calling her closer, but she would only just barely come for a treat and would start growling. I did notice Fluffy get worked up a bit and he started to get into his pouncing/lunge position so I had to give him a pet and distract him with a treat. It is times like that, where I get even more nervous and stressed and I think it sets my trust level back.

Unfortunately, a snow plow drove passed the house and the sound scared Sapphire so she ran upstairs to hide and the intro was cut fairly short.
"I will definitely try and get more videos for sure." - Great.

"It is definitely myself that is holding them back unfortunately." - Well, it is great you are aware of it. What we are aware of we can improve upon. BUT I don't want you to be hard on yourself either. You have done an AMAZING job with them and you should be proud of where you are at, how much progress that has ben made. AND it is VERY COMMON at points like this where the humans lag the cats so really not an issue.

" I have a tendency to see the most negative in everything," - Ok, I would love to see you change that not only with the cats but in life as well. As long as seeing the negative doesn't hold you back then it is not that bad but often it will at times hold us back and then we need to work on it. But you seem really smart, hard working, great so it sure seems to me you can do great.

" in this case, Sapphires endless growling towards him when he's close to her." - A lot of people get hung up on this. BUT what is important is how the other cat responds to it. If Fluffy handles it will for the most part then we shouldn't worry too much about it. Hissing is communication so in isolation it is not a big deal so w have to look at the whole context. I know Fluffy gets worked up by it (though it does seem less lately) but they need to work it out between them as well with some of our help. I have a lot fo trust in Fluffy that he loves he and doesn't want to hurt her. Of course I could be wrong and of course it could escalate buut I am not seeing anything that suggests that isn't pretty remote.

"During Monday night's intro, she was growling at him quite a bit" - OK, how did he respond, react?

" and I did try calling her closer," - Great, this is where the humans can really help deescalate, reassure, etc.

" but she would only just barely come for a treat and would start growling." - Ok but she didn't attack him.

" I did notice Fluffy get worked up a bit and he started to get into his pouncing/lunge position" - Ok, how was his body language? Aggressive? Play?

" so I had to give him a pet and distract him with a treat." - GREAT so the fact he could get distracted tells me his interest is nothing severe. Could be annoyance to play but not "I am going to eliminate you".

" It is times like that, where I get even more nervous and stressed and I think it sets my trust level back." - Understandable but these are the times that should increase your trust and confidence. It may not be perfect BUT it tells us it is not an existential threat. These are times I actually feel better when I see them because I know the seriousness of the situation, relationship. Does that make sense?

"Unfortunately, a snow plow drove passed the house and the sound scared Sapphire so she ran upstairs to hide and the intro was cut fairly short. " - Ok, that is fine. AND IF Fluffy did not pursue her even better. THAT is another test where IF he didn't chase her like prey it is really positive.

Hang in there, I KNOW it is tough BUT please try to look back and realize the progress and all the positives. You have done an amazing job. And just try to enjoy them and feel the obvious love you have for them.

We'll get there, keep up the great work!!
 
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"I will definitely try and get more videos for sure." - Great.

"It is definitely myself that is holding them back unfortunately." - Well, it is great you are aware of it. What we are aware of we can improve upon. BUT I don't want you to be hard on yourself either. You have done an AMAZING job with them and you should be proud of where you are at, how much progress that has ben made. AND it is VERY COMMON at points like this where the humans lag the cats so really not an issue.

" I have a tendency to see the most negative in everything," - Ok, I would love to see you change that not only with the cats but in life as well. As long as seeing the negative doesn't hold you back then it is not that bad but often it will at times hold us back and then we need to work on it. But you seem really smart, hard working, great so it sure seems to me you can do great.

" in this case, Sapphires endless growling towards him when he's close to her." - A lot of people get hung up on this. BUT what is important is how the other cat responds to it. If Fluffy handles it will for the most part then we shouldn't worry too much about it. Hissing is communication so in isolation it is not a big deal so w have to look at the whole context. I know Fluffy gets worked up by it (though it does seem less lately) but they need to work it out between them as well with some of our help. I have a lot fo trust in Fluffy that he loves he and doesn't want to hurt her. Of course I could be wrong and of course it could escalate buut I am not seeing anything that suggests that isn't pretty remote.

"During Monday night's intro, she was growling at him quite a bit" - OK, how did he respond, react?

" and I did try calling her closer," - Great, this is where the humans can really help deescalate, reassure, etc.

" but she would only just barely come for a treat and would start growling." - Ok but she didn't attack him.

" I did notice Fluffy get worked up a bit and he started to get into his pouncing/lunge position" - Ok, how was his body language? Aggressive? Play?

" so I had to give him a pet and distract him with a treat." - GREAT so the fact he could get distracted tells me his interest is nothing severe. Could be annoyance to play but not "I am going to eliminate you".

" It is times like that, where I get even more nervous and stressed and I think it sets my trust level back." - Understandable but these are the times that should increase your trust and confidence. It may not be perfect BUT it tells us it is not an existential threat. These are times I actually feel better when I see them because I know the seriousness of the situation, relationship. Does that make sense?

"Unfortunately, a snow plow drove passed the house and the sound scared Sapphire so she ran upstairs to hide and the intro was cut fairly short. " - Ok, that is fine. AND IF Fluffy did not pursue her even better. THAT is another test where IF he didn't chase her like prey it is really positive.

Hang in there, I KNOW it is tough BUT please try to look back and realize the progress and all the positives. You have done an amazing job. And just try to enjoy them and feel the obvious love you have for them.

We'll get there, keep up the great work!!
I think she is still too unsure about him to even think about attacking him. I think she's probably more defensive than anything. I still struggle with body language which is in part due to viewing everything in a negative way. I know deep down that fluffy just wants to play but I struggle to see it. As for how he was acting, his front was low to the ground and his butt was kind of raised up in the air and he had his nose kind of out stretched towards Sapphire and he makes this almost half snorting, half sighing sound.

Sapphire just seems defensive. She'll hiss and growl but her ears will never go back unless he makes a move at her. She just sits there hunched over and eventually moves to a new location a bit further away.

Fluffy so far hasn't chased her yet when she runse away. So far he only seems to try and take a run at her when she either jumps down to the ground from higher up, or she moves behind her cat tree (there is a bench built into the wall directly behind it/below the window).

Last night, Fluffy was still good and Sapphire was a tiny bit less hissy and growly than usual, but the face to face time was pretty short as Sapphire ran upstairs after only a few minutes to relax on her bed. I will try and get more videos tonight.
 

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I think she is still too unsure about him to even think about attacking him. I think she's probably more defensive than anything. I still struggle with body language which is in part due to viewing everything in a negative way. I know deep down that fluffy just wants to play but I struggle to see it. As for how he was acting, his front was low to the ground and his butt was kind of raised up in the air and he had his nose kind of out stretched towards Sapphire and he makes this almost half snorting, half sighing sound.

Sapphire just seems defensive. She'll hiss and growl but her ears will never go back unless he makes a move at her. She just sits there hunched over and eventually moves to a new location a bit further away.

Fluffy so far hasn't chased her yet when she runse away. So far he only seems to try and take a run at her when she either jumps down to the ground from higher up, or she moves behind her cat tree (there is a bench built into the wall directly behind it/below the window).

Last night, Fluffy was still good and Sapphire was a tiny bit less hissy and growly than usual, but the face to face time was pretty short as Sapphire ran upstairs after only a few minutes to relax on her bed. I will try and get more videos tonight.
"I think she is still too unsure about him to even think about attacking him." - Ok, or she has no intent of attacking, hurting, eliminating.

" I think she's probably more defensive than anything." - Agreed and that is actually good. Helps reduce the risk of a negative encounter.

" I still struggle with body language which is in part due to viewing everything in a negative way." - Well, most people do so not sure if you are any different.

" I know deep down that fluffy just wants to play" - Yes, all indications are that so it is great you know deep down.

" but I struggle to see it." - If you look you will see it in time. :)

" As for how he was acting, his front was low to the ground and his butt was kind of raised up in the air and he had his nose kind of out stretched towards Sapphire and he makes this almost half snorting, half sighing sound." - Ok, I would have to see it BUT combined with everything else I am really sure it was all play.

"Sapphire just seems defensive." - Yes, at times. Maybe cautious is a better word?

" She'll hiss and growl but her ears will never go back unless he makes a move at her." - Yes, that is good. Part of me wonders if that is her "play mode".

"She just sits there hunched over and eventually moves to a new location a bit further away." - That is really good.

"Fluffy so far hasn't chased her yet when she runse away." - AMAZING. THAT is positive. Usually a cat will view a cat running away as prey. Amazing he views it in a better way.

"So far he only seems to try and take a run at her when she either jumps down to the ground from higher up, or she moves behind her cat tree (there is a bench built into the wall directly behind it/below the window)." - Yes, probably because those are "play" moves rather than "prey" moves. Again, REALLY POSITIVE.

"Last night, Fluffy was still good and Sapphire was a tiny bit less hissy and growly than usual," - FANTASTIC!!!

" but the face to face time was pretty short as Sapphire ran upstairs after only a few minutes to relax on her bed. " - OK, but what is really wrong with that? She felt like she wanted to relax on the bed. She seemed fine with it, he seemed fine. Isn't that what we are looking for? For them to be happy, to choose what they want without any negativity? I sense you think it was negative but I actually think it is really positive.

"I will try and get more videos tonight. " - Sounds good.

Overall, I think you are doing great. Keep it up.
 
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"I think she is still too unsure about him to even think about attacking him." - Ok, or she has no intent of attacking, hurting, eliminating.

" I think she's probably more defensive than anything." - Agreed and that is actually good. Helps reduce the risk of a negative encounter.

" I still struggle with body language which is in part due to viewing everything in a negative way." - Well, most people do so not sure if you are any different.

" I know deep down that fluffy just wants to play" - Yes, all indications are that so it is great you know deep down.

" but I struggle to see it." - If you look you will see it in time. :)

" As for how he was acting, his front was low to the ground and his butt was kind of raised up in the air and he had his nose kind of out stretched towards Sapphire and he makes this almost half snorting, half sighing sound." - Ok, I would have to see it BUT combined with everything else I am really sure it was all play.

"Sapphire just seems defensive." - Yes, at times. Maybe cautious is a better word?

" She'll hiss and growl but her ears will never go back unless he makes a move at her." - Yes, that is good. Part of me wonders if that is her "play mode".

"She just sits there hunched over and eventually moves to a new location a bit further away." - That is really good.

"Fluffy so far hasn't chased her yet when she runse away." - AMAZING. THAT is positive. Usually a cat will view a cat running away as prey. Amazing he views it in a better way.

"So far he only seems to try and take a run at her when she either jumps down to the ground from higher up, or she moves behind her cat tree (there is a bench built into the wall directly behind it/below the window)." - Yes, probably because those are "play" moves rather than "prey" moves. Again, REALLY POSITIVE.

"Last night, Fluffy was still good and Sapphire was a tiny bit less hissy and growly than usual," - FANTASTIC!!!

" but the face to face time was pretty short as Sapphire ran upstairs after only a few minutes to relax on her bed. " - OK, but what is really wrong with that? She felt like she wanted to relax on the bed. She seemed fine with it, he seemed fine. Isn't that what we are looking for? For them to be happy, to choose what they want without any negativity? I sense you think it was negative but I actually think it is really positive.

"I will try and get more videos tonight. " - Sounds good.

Overall, I think you are doing great. Keep it up.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to get anymore videos yet, but they were both pretty positive last night. Had to do a fair bit of distracting as both Fluffy and Sapphire suddenly decided they no longer like their favourite treats so I had to break out another type. They were both pretty calm, and at one point they were both trying to get their heads into the treat container and there weren't any problems, followed by only a minor growl from Sapphire. While he was laying down, Sapphire bolted upstairs and Fluffy didn't follow. He did sit up and look at the stairs very focused but he didn't chase her. He went and laid down under the dining room table and Sapphire came back down a few minutes later to eat some more food while Fluffy watched.

After Fluffy went to bed I took a picture of Sapphire up on the cat tree.

20211117_205433.jpg


A fairly quick update but I think it was pretty positive.
 

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Unfortunately I wasn't able to get anymore videos yet, but they were both pretty positive last night. Had to do a fair bit of distracting as both Fluffy and Sapphire suddenly decided they no longer like their favourite treats so I had to break out another type. They were both pretty calm, and at one point they were both trying to get their heads into the treat container and there weren't any problems, followed by only a minor growl from Sapphire. While he was laying down, Sapphire bolted upstairs and Fluffy didn't follow. He did sit up and look at the stairs very focused but he didn't chase her. He went and laid down under the dining room table and Sapphire came back down a few minutes later to eat some more food while Fluffy watched.

After Fluffy went to bed I took a picture of Sapphire up on the cat tree.

View attachment 401798

A fairly quick update but I think it was pretty positive.
My goodness is she GORGEOUS or what?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Unfortunately I wasn't able to get anymore videos yet," - Ok, that is fine

" but they were both pretty positive last night." - Great, let's see

" Had to do a fair bit of distracting as both Fluffy and Sapphire suddenly decided they no longer like their favourite treats so I had to break out another type." - Interesting. That is not a bad problem to have!!!

" They were both pretty calm, and at one point they were both trying to get their heads into the treat container and there weren't any problems, followed by only a minor growl from Sapphire." - Awwwwwwwwwww

" While he was laying down, Sapphire bolted upstairs and Fluffy didn't follow." - AMAZING!!!! I am so amazed he is so good. I just keep wondering if she is trying to get him to chase her....................... (to play).

" He did sit up and look at the stairs very focused but he didn't chase her." - Fantastic. I am sure he was wondering "what's up with her?". Hahahahaha

" He went and laid down under the dining room table" - Terrific

" and Sapphire came back down a few minutes later to eat some more food while Fluffy watched." - She did????? Ok, now I REALLY think she wants him to chase her to play.

Was he kinda waiting for her under the dining room table? When she came down did he attempt to go towards her?

"After Fluffy went to bed I took a picture of Sapphire up on the cat tree. " - She is SOOOOOO GORGEOUS!!!

"A fairly quick update but I think it was pretty positive." - AMAZINGLY POSITIVE!!!!
 
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My goodness is she GORGEOUS or what?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Unfortunately I wasn't able to get anymore videos yet," - Ok, that is fine

" but they were both pretty positive last night." - Great, let's see

" Had to do a fair bit of distracting as both Fluffy and Sapphire suddenly decided they no longer like their favourite treats so I had to break out another type." - Interesting. That is not a bad problem to have!!!

" They were both pretty calm, and at one point they were both trying to get their heads into the treat container and there weren't any problems, followed by only a minor growl from Sapphire." - Awwwwwwwwwww

" While he was laying down, Sapphire bolted upstairs and Fluffy didn't follow." - AMAZING!!!! I am so amazed he is so good. I just keep wondering if she is trying to get him to chase her....................... (to play).

" He did sit up and look at the stairs very focused but he didn't chase her." - Fantastic. I am sure he was wondering "what's up with her?". Hahahahaha

" He went and laid down under the dining room table" - Terrific

" and Sapphire came back down a few minutes later to eat some more food while Fluffy watched." - She did????? Ok, now I REALLY think she wants him to chase her to play.

Was he kinda waiting for her under the dining room table? When she came down did he attempt to go towards her?

"After Fluffy went to bed I took a picture of Sapphire up on the cat tree. " - She is SOOOOOO GORGEOUS!!!

"A fairly quick update but I think it was pretty positive." - AMAZINGLY POSITIVE!!!!
When she came back down, she went straight to her food bowl which was out of sight of from where he was laying under the table. Once he heard the chewing sound, he got up and started towards her and then laid down and watched her eat.

I took another short video tonight. Nothing too exciting. Just some hissing and growling and lots of treats. Half way through I actually forgot I was taking a video so I apologize if it gets a little crazy to watch.

Both of the cats were quite mischievous tonight. Sapphire was just laying up on the cat tree and Fluffy laying on the ground. He tried to sneak up on her when she jumped down and she got a bit scared and hissed/got into a defensive looking position (the video was taken after this). I did end up having to pick Fluffy up as I didn't have treats handy and he was really focused on her. Things continued to go okay. Both cats were sitting near me having treats (Sapphire hissing and growling), and then out of the blue as Fluffy was just sitting waiting for a treat, Sapphire hissed at him, gave him a HUGE wack right on the face and then backed up looking scared/defensive and then took off upstairs. Fluffy didn't do anything. He looked a little shocked and I had a treat handy to let him distracted, but it didn't seem like he had the intent to chase after her. I just hung out with him for a few minutes and he went and looked out the window before bed. I went upstairs (while Fluffy was looking out the window), and Sapphire was just relaxing on the rug in her room. A little while later she was downstairs hissing at his door and then running around.

That's all the craziness from tonight! Hahah

And here is the video
Sapphire and Fluffy Nov 18/21
 

calicosrspecial

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When she came back down, she went straight to her food bowl which was out of sight of from where he was laying under the table. Once he heard the chewing sound, he got up and started towards her and then laid down and watched her eat.

I took another short video tonight. Nothing too exciting. Just some hissing and growling and lots of treats. Half way through I actually forgot I was taking a video so I apologize if it gets a little crazy to watch.

Both of the cats were quite mischievous tonight. Sapphire was just laying up on the cat tree and Fluffy laying on the ground. He tried to sneak up on her when she jumped down and she got a bit scared and hissed/got into a defensive looking position (the video was taken after this). I did end up having to pick Fluffy up as I didn't have treats handy and he was really focused on her. Things continued to go okay. Both cats were sitting near me having treats (Sapphire hissing and growling), and then out of the blue as Fluffy was just sitting waiting for a treat, Sapphire hissed at him, gave him a HUGE wack right on the face and then backed up looking scared/defensive and then took off upstairs. Fluffy didn't do anything. He looked a little shocked and I had a treat handy to let him distracted, but it didn't seem like he had the intent to chase after her. I just hung out with him for a few minutes and he went and looked out the window before bed. I went upstairs (while Fluffy was looking out the window), and Sapphire was just relaxing on the rug in her room. A little while later she was downstairs hissing at his door and then running around.

That's all the craziness from tonight! Hahah

And here is the video
Sapphire and Fluffy Nov 18/21
"When she came back down, she went straight to her food bowl " - Fantastic!!! How was she walking? Hesitant? Cautious? Confidently? Normally?

"which was out of sight of from where he was laying under the table." - Ok

" Once he heard the chewing sound, he got up and started towards her " - Ok, understandable. How did he walk towards her? normal? Aggressively? Etc?

"and then laid down and watched her eat." - AMAZING!!! THAT tells us so much!!! FANTASTIC!!! How did she respond to him walking over then laying down near?

"I took another short video tonight. Nothing too exciting. Just some hissing and growling and lots of treats. Half way through I actually forgot I was taking a video so I apologize if it gets a little crazy to watch." - Ok, I will take a look.

"Both of the cats were quite mischievous tonight. Sapphire was just laying up on the cat tree and Fluffy laying on the ground. He tried to sneak up on her when she jumped down and she got a bit scared and hissed/got into a defensive looking position (the video was taken after this). " - Ok, sounds playful. Not an issue.

"I did end up having to pick Fluffy up as I didn't have treats handy and he was really focused on her. " - Ok, how was his body language?

"Things continued to go okay." - THAT is the key. IF there were issues t would not have settled down, etc.

" Both cats were sitting near me having treats (Sapphire hissing and growling), and then out of the blue as Fluffy was just sitting waiting for a treat, Sapphire hissed at him, gave him a HUGE wack right on the face and then backed up looking scared/defensive and then took off upstairs." - Interesting. I wish I could have seen it. :/ I just wonder if she is trying to play................

" Fluffy didn't do anything." - AMAZING!!! FANTASTIC!!!

" He looked a little shocked" - I can imagine!!!

" and I had a treat handy to let him distracted," - Great. IF they had issues no treat would have distracted him.

" but it didn't seem like he had the intent to chase after her." - AMAZING!!! He is such a good boy!!!

" I just hung out with him for a few minutes and he went and looked out the window before bed." - Perfect!!!

" I went upstairs (while Fluffy was looking out the window), and Sapphire was just relaxing on the rug in her room." - Terrific!!! I keep coming back to it being her way of trying to play.

" A little while later she was downstairs hissing at his door and then running around." - Again, supports the play thesis in my opinion.

"That's all the craziness from tonight! Hahah" - Hahahahaha. I actually think it is fantastic!!! I think you are there honestly. :)

Video - AMAZING!!! One time they were face to face basically, another time she is eating a treat and his tail comes near AND she doesn't care. Body language is amazing. If I just saw the video and knew nothing else I would say those two cats are happy pals totally intro'd. Come to think of it, knowing what I know I think the same thing. They are definitely ready. :) This video makes me more confident her actions you mentioned earlier are all play. Weird play BUT play.

FANTASTIC!!!!

Are you feeling confident enough to do a "hang out" this weekend?

So exciting!!!! GREAT job!!!!
 
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"When she came back down, she went straight to her food bowl " - Fantastic!!! How was she walking? Hesitant? Cautious? Confidently? Normally?

"which was out of sight of from where he was laying under the table." - Ok

" Once he heard the chewing sound, he got up and started towards her " - Ok, understandable. How did he walk towards her? normal? Aggressively? Etc?

"and then laid down and watched her eat." - AMAZING!!! THAT tells us so much!!! FANTASTIC!!! How did she respond to him walking over then laying down near?

"I took another short video tonight. Nothing too exciting. Just some hissing and growling and lots of treats. Half way through I actually forgot I was taking a video so I apologize if it gets a little crazy to watch." - Ok, I will take a look.

"Both of the cats were quite mischievous tonight. Sapphire was just laying up on the cat tree and Fluffy laying on the ground. He tried to sneak up on her when she jumped down and she got a bit scared and hissed/got into a defensive looking position (the video was taken after this). " - Ok, sounds playful. Not an issue.

"I did end up having to pick Fluffy up as I didn't have treats handy and he was really focused on her. " - Ok, how was his body language?

"Things continued to go okay." - THAT is the key. IF there were issues t would not have settled down, etc.

" Both cats were sitting near me having treats (Sapphire hissing and growling), and then out of the blue as Fluffy was just sitting waiting for a treat, Sapphire hissed at him, gave him a HUGE wack right on the face and then backed up looking scared/defensive and then took off upstairs." - Interesting. I wish I could have seen it. :/ I just wonder if she is trying to play................

" Fluffy didn't do anything." - AMAZING!!! FANTASTIC!!!

" He looked a little shocked" - I can imagine!!!

" and I had a treat handy to let him distracted," - Great. IF they had issues no treat would have distracted him.

" but it didn't seem like he had the intent to chase after her." - AMAZING!!! He is such a good boy!!!

" I just hung out with him for a few minutes and he went and looked out the window before bed." - Perfect!!!

" I went upstairs (while Fluffy was looking out the window), and Sapphire was just relaxing on the rug in her room." - Terrific!!! I keep coming back to it being her way of trying to play.

" A little while later she was downstairs hissing at his door and then running around." - Again, supports the play thesis in my opinion.

"That's all the craziness from tonight! Hahah" - Hahahahaha. I actually think it is fantastic!!! I think you are there honestly. :)

Video - AMAZING!!! One time they were face to face basically, another time she is eating a treat and his tail comes near AND she doesn't care. Body language is amazing. If I just saw the video and knew nothing else I would say those two cats are happy pals totally intro'd. Come to think of it, knowing what I know I think the same thing. They are definitely ready. :) This video makes me more confident her actions you mentioned earlier are all play. Weird play BUT play.

FANTASTIC!!!!

Are you feeling confident enough to do a "hang out" this weekend?

So exciting!!!! GREAT job!!!!
The wack she gave was definitely not a playful hit. I don't believe it was aggressive but more defensive and telling him to back off. It was hard enough that she did half knock him down haha. She was in her defensive posture (hunched over, turned to her side, ears semi back while hissing). It was the same posture she gets when he runs at her. I think she's just getting scared he's going to pounce on her so she's trying to defend herself.

Overall, I think Fluffy is just trying to play with her, possibly a bit on the rough side.

She's getting there, some days more than others as she still seems a bit cautious but slowly she's getting better.

I will possibly do a hangout this weekend. I will see how they are doing up until that point.
 

calicosrspecial

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The wack she gave was definitely not a playful hit. I don't believe it was aggressive but more defensive and telling him to back off. It was hard enough that she did half knock him down haha. She was in her defensive posture (hunched over, turned to her side, ears semi back while hissing). It was the same posture she gets when he runs at her. I think she's just getting scared he's going to pounce on her so she's trying to defend herself.

Overall, I think Fluffy is just trying to play with her, possibly a bit on the rough side.

She's getting there, some days more than others as she still seems a bit cautious but slowly she's getting better.

I will possibly do a hangout this weekend. I will see how they are doing up until that point.
"The wack she gave was definitely not a playful hit." - Ok.

" I don't believe it was aggressive but more defensive and telling him to back off." - Ok. Any idea where it came from?

" It was hard enough that she did half knock him down haha." - Wow

" She was in her defensive posture (hunched over, turned to her side, ears semi back while hissing). It was the same posture she gets when he runs at her. " - Ok. Hmmmmmmmmm

"I think she's just getting scared he's going to pounce on her so she's trying to defend herself." - Maybe why then and not other times, all of the time, etc?

"Overall, I think Fluffy is just trying to play with her, possibly a bit on the rough side." - Totally agree. He has no bad intent.

"She's getting there, some days more than others as she still seems a bit cautious but slowly she's getting better." - Agree. The fact she was like that in the video tells me she is well along.

"I will possibly do a hangout this weekend." - Great

" I will see how they are doing up until that point. " - Ok.

Would love to know what he was doing/did before the whack. I still get a sense she is trying to play in a weird (and maybe uncertain) way. It is actually more common than people think. It is like a little boy that teases the girl because he likes her. :/ Maybe I am wrong though but how they act otherwise suggests it is more likely than not. :/

Either way, I think they are totally ready for a "hang out" time. :)

Keep up the great work!!!
 
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"The wack she gave was definitely not a playful hit." - Ok.

" I don't believe it was aggressive but more defensive and telling him to back off." - Ok. Any idea where it came from?

" It was hard enough that she did half knock him down haha." - Wow

" She was in her defensive posture (hunched over, turned to her side, ears semi back while hissing). It was the same posture she gets when he runs at her. " - Ok. Hmmmmmmmmm

"I think she's just getting scared he's going to pounce on her so she's trying to defend herself." - Maybe why then and not other times, all of the time, etc?

"Overall, I think Fluffy is just trying to play with her, possibly a bit on the rough side." - Totally agree. He has no bad intent.

"She's getting there, some days more than others as she still seems a bit cautious but slowly she's getting better." - Agree. The fact she was like that in the video tells me she is well along.

"I will possibly do a hangout this weekend." - Great

" I will see how they are doing up until that point. " - Ok.

Would love to know what he was doing/did before the whack. I still get a sense she is trying to play in a weird (and maybe uncertain) way. It is actually more common than people think. It is like a little boy that teases the girl because he likes her. :/ Maybe I am wrong though but how they act otherwise suggests it is more likely than not. :/

Either way, I think they are totally ready for a "hang out" time. :)

Keep up the great work!!!
She's a very difficult cat to figure out sometimes haha. She definitely has good days and bad days. I'm not exactly sure if it's audible, but she is growling quite a bit during the video as well.

As for what Fluffy was doing, from memory, I don't believe he was really doing anything other than what is seen in the video. He had his head in the treat container or close to it so I reached in to get two more treats. He brought his head out and I think he just looked at her and that's when she hit him. They were very close at the time so I'm thinking she just got a bit scared. I also don't believe her claws were out, but her little feet are so furry, it was hard to see. Fluffy didn't seem phased and I checked his face over and didn't see any evidence of bleeding or cuts.

My gut feeling is that she was probably just over him at the time, got either a bit scared or annoyed, and wanted to tell him to back off or leave her alone.
 
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She's a very difficult cat to figure out sometimes haha. She definitely has good days and bad days. I'm not exactly sure if it's audible, but she is growling quite a bit during the video as well.

As for what Fluffy was doing, from memory, I don't believe he was really doing anything other than what is seen in the video. He had his head in the treat container or close to it so I reached in to get two more treats. He brought his head out and I think he just looked at her and that's when she hit him. They were very close at the time so I'm thinking she just got a bit scared. I also don't believe her claws were out, but her little feet are so furry, it was hard to see. Fluffy didn't seem phased and I checked his face over and didn't see any evidence of bleeding or cuts.

My gut feeling is that she was probably just over him at the time, got either a bit scared or annoyed, and wanted to tell him to back off or leave her alone.
I just wanted to add to this last post with tonight's update.

Sapphire was still being quite dramatic to the point where even if Fluffy looked at her from a few feet away she would start to growl and hiss at him. Her body language still seemed nervous or cautious and I'm not sure why as he hasn't really done anything that should warrant it.

There were only two attempted sneaks from Fluffy (one which I was expecting when Sapphire jumped from the too of the cat tree to the middle level, and another when she had her back turned). Other than that he was a really good boy and did some wandering, some laying down, some trying to stick his head in the treat container, etc. There were several opportunities for him to chase her and he didn't. After a bit of her growling, Sapphire ran upstairs as usual. Fluffy went to look out the window and a few minutes later she came back downstairs again (she did sit at the top of the stairs for a minute before coming down. She seemed a little less nervous now and wasn't growling as much. I even put a few treats in a treat ball and she played with it to get them out while Fluffy just laid down and watched.

I'm completely stumped on Sapphires behavior. They had some pawing at the gate upstairs and when I brought Fluffy downstairs, Sapphire followed and her tail was doing the little excited/playful arch thing. She jumped on her cat tree and was really playful up there. Within about a minute she looked really nervous out of no where and Fluffy wasn't even out of his room yet for supper (I took a picture for reference). I'm completely baffled with her, especially since a few weeks ago, she seemed perfectly fine coming right up to fluffy at times.

20211119_203340.jpg
 

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Graham18 Graham18 : I'm still following your thread, but just don't have any suggestion/advise to offer. Sapphire does seem like a timid girl, and that picture really captures her worried little expression.
She's such a beauty, though, and I just want to pick her up and cuddle her. :catlove:
 
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Graham18 Graham18 : I'm still following your thread, but just don't have any suggestion/advise to offer. Sapphire does seem like a timid girl, and that picture really captures her worried little expression.
She's such a beauty, though, and I just want to pick her up and cuddle her. :catlove:
She is definitely a fairly nervous cat and really likes to spend most of her time sleeping (except late at night and early morning). She can also be quite the cuddle bug :)
 

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She's a very difficult cat to figure out sometimes haha. She definitely has good days and bad days. I'm not exactly sure if it's audible, but she is growling quite a bit during the video as well.

As for what Fluffy was doing, from memory, I don't believe he was really doing anything other than what is seen in the video. He had his head in the treat container or close to it so I reached in to get two more treats. He brought his head out and I think he just looked at her and that's when she hit him. They were very close at the time so I'm thinking she just got a bit scared. I also don't believe her claws were out, but her little feet are so furry, it was hard to see. Fluffy didn't seem phased and I checked his face over and didn't see any evidence of bleeding or cuts.

My gut feeling is that she was probably just over him at the time, got either a bit scared or annoyed, and wanted to tell him to back off or leave her alone.
"She's a very difficult cat to figure out sometimes haha. " - Well, she is a normal cat.

"She definitely has good days and bad days. I'm not exactly sure if it's audible, but she is growling quite a bit during the video as well." - I am not sure the bd days are really that bad. And growling doesn't bother me at all as long as it isn't followed up with negativity.

"As for what Fluffy was doing, from memory, I don't believe he was really doing anything other than what is seen in the video. He had his head in the treat container or close to it so I reached in to get two more treats. He brought his head out and I think he just looked at her and that's when she hit him." - Ok, maybe she was teaching him some manners to let her get some treats as well. Actually, I am not at all bothered by that especially given it did not escalate.

" They were very close at the time so I'm thinking she just got a bit scared." - Maybe but they were close in the video as well.

" I also don't believe her claws were out, but her little feet are so furry, it was hard to see. Fluffy didn't seem phased and I checked his face over and didn't see any evidence of bleeding or cuts." - Ok, good. Great sign. He would have shown some evidence if she hurt him. She had no intention of hurting him it seems. And he didn't really react negatively so it wasn't that big a deal in his eyes which is great.

"My gut feeling is that she was probably just over him at the time, got either a bit scared or annoyed, and wanted to tell him to back off or leave her alone. " - Maybe or was teaching him some manners with the treats.

"I just wanted to add to this last post with tonight's update." - Ok

"Sapphire was still being quite dramatic to the point where even if Fluffy looked at her from a few feet away she would start to growl and hiss at him. Her body language still seemed nervous or cautious and I'm not sure why as he hasn't really done anything that should warrant it." - Ok but if that is all it is then it is not a big deal.

"There were only two attempted sneaks from Fluffy (one which I was expecting when Sapphire jumped from the too of the cat tree to the middle level, and another when she had her back turned)." - Ok, seems innocent.

" Other than that he was a really good boy and did some wandering, some laying down, some trying to stick his head in the treat container, etc." - Perfect. So he isn't bothered by her.

" There were several opportunities for him to chase her and he didn't." -- GREAT!!!

" After a bit of her growling, Sapphire ran upstairs as usual." - I keep coming back to this is her way of trying to get him to play/chase.

" Fluffy went to look out the window and a few minutes later she came back downstairs again (she did sit at the top of the stairs for a minute before coming down. She seemed a little less nervous now and wasn't growling as much. " - FANTASTIC!!! That is not a cat that is so afraid of the other cat, etc.

"I even put a few treats in a treat ball and she played with it to get them out while Fluffy just laid down and watched." - FANTASTIC!! GREAT job doing that!!! And well done Fluffy!!

"I'm completely stumped on Sapphires behavior." - Ok

" They had some pawing at the gate upstairs and when I brought Fluffy downstairs, Sapphire followed and her tail was doing the little excited/playful arch thing." - THAT is TERRIFIC!!

" She jumped on her cat tree and was really playful up there. " - Great. It sure seems like she wants to play with him.

"Within about a minute she looked really nervous out of no where and Fluffy wasn't even out of his room yet for supper (I took a picture for reference)." - Well might there have been something outside? I just don't think that was Fluffy causing it.

" I'm completely baffled with her, especially since a few weeks ago, she seemed perfectly fine coming right up to fluffy at times." - Ok. Well in the video they were very close.

IN the pic she is focused on something (probably Fluffy) but I don't see fear, etc.

"She is definitely a fairly nervous cat and really likes to spend most of her time sleeping (except late at night and early morning)." - That is normal.

" She can also be quite the cuddle bug :) " - Awwwwwwwwwww
 
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"She's a very difficult cat to figure out sometimes haha. " - Well, she is a normal cat.

"She definitely has good days and bad days. I'm not exactly sure if it's audible, but she is growling quite a bit during the video as well." - I am not sure the bd days are really that bad. And growling doesn't bother me at all as long as it isn't followed up with negativity.

"As for what Fluffy was doing, from memory, I don't believe he was really doing anything other than what is seen in the video. He had his head in the treat container or close to it so I reached in to get two more treats. He brought his head out and I think he just looked at her and that's when she hit him." - Ok, maybe she was teaching him some manners to let her get some treats as well. Actually, I am not at all bothered by that especially given it did not escalate.

" They were very close at the time so I'm thinking she just got a bit scared." - Maybe but they were close in the video as well.

" I also don't believe her claws were out, but her little feet are so furry, it was hard to see. Fluffy didn't seem phased and I checked his face over and didn't see any evidence of bleeding or cuts." - Ok, good. Great sign. He would have shown some evidence if she hurt him. She had no intention of hurting him it seems. And he didn't really react negatively so it wasn't that big a deal in his eyes which is great.

"My gut feeling is that she was probably just over him at the time, got either a bit scared or annoyed, and wanted to tell him to back off or leave her alone. " - Maybe or was teaching him some manners with the treats.

"I just wanted to add to this last post with tonight's update." - Ok

"Sapphire was still being quite dramatic to the point where even if Fluffy looked at her from a few feet away she would start to growl and hiss at him. Her body language still seemed nervous or cautious and I'm not sure why as he hasn't really done anything that should warrant it." - Ok but if that is all it is then it is not a big deal.

"There were only two attempted sneaks from Fluffy (one which I was expecting when Sapphire jumped from the too of the cat tree to the middle level, and another when she had her back turned)." - Ok, seems innocent.

" Other than that he was a really good boy and did some wandering, some laying down, some trying to stick his head in the treat container, etc." - Perfect. So he isn't bothered by her.

" There were several opportunities for him to chase her and he didn't." -- GREAT!!!

" After a bit of her growling, Sapphire ran upstairs as usual." - I keep coming back to this is her way of trying to get him to play/chase.

" Fluffy went to look out the window and a few minutes later she came back downstairs again (she did sit at the top of the stairs for a minute before coming down. She seemed a little less nervous now and wasn't growling as much. " - FANTASTIC!!! That is not a cat that is so afraid of the other cat, etc.

"I even put a few treats in a treat ball and she played with it to get them out while Fluffy just laid down and watched." - FANTASTIC!! GREAT job doing that!!! And well done Fluffy!!

"I'm completely stumped on Sapphires behavior." - Ok

" They had some pawing at the gate upstairs and when I brought Fluffy downstairs, Sapphire followed and her tail was doing the little excited/playful arch thing." - THAT is TERRIFIC!!

" She jumped on her cat tree and was really playful up there. " - Great. It sure seems like she wants to play with him.

"Within about a minute she looked really nervous out of no where and Fluffy wasn't even out of his room yet for supper (I took a picture for reference)." - Well might there have been something outside? I just don't think that was Fluffy causing it.

" I'm completely baffled with her, especially since a few weeks ago, she seemed perfectly fine coming right up to fluffy at times." - Ok. Well in the video they were very close.

IN the pic she is focused on something (probably Fluffy) but I don't see fear, etc.

"She is definitely a fairly nervous cat and really likes to spend most of her time sleeping (except late at night and early morning)." - That is normal.

" She can also be quite the cuddle bug :) " - Awwwwwwwwwww
Thank you :)

I am trying really hard to gain confidence and not let things that happen bother me too much. I gave Fluffy a tiny bit of leeway tonight and he was a pretty good boy for the most part. I was sitting with them on the ground and Fluffy kind of stepped up onto my lap to ask for a treat and Sapphire was right beside me and she took another fast swat at him (this time I think I saw claws but I could be mistaken). He was good and didn't really react to it, but I did notice that her hissing and growling wasn't really getting him worked up as much. He tried to sneak up on her once while she was right in the corner behind the smaller cat tree. He also lunged at her a few minutes later while her back was to him which gave her a scare. She bolted up to her room and she didn't seem too bothered, but I wasn't able to get her to come back downstairs, even with treats. She got as far as the top of the stairs and when she heard Fluffy meow, she took off back into her room.

I will keep at it!
 
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