Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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Thank you :)

I am trying really hard to gain confidence and not let things that happen bother me too much. I gave Fluffy a tiny bit of leeway tonight and he was a pretty good boy for the most part. I was sitting with them on the ground and Fluffy kind of stepped up onto my lap to ask for a treat and Sapphire was right beside me and she took another fast swat at him (this time I think I saw claws but I could be mistaken). He was good and didn't really react to it, but I did notice that her hissing and growling wasn't really getting him worked up as much. He tried to sneak up on her once while she was right in the corner behind the smaller cat tree. He also lunged at her a few minutes later while her back was to him which gave her a scare. She bolted up to her room and she didn't seem too bothered, but I wasn't able to get her to come back downstairs, even with treats. She got as far as the top of the stairs and when she heard Fluffy meow, she took off back into her room.

I will keep at it!
"Thank you :)" - You are very welcome

"I am trying really hard to gain confidence and not let things that happen bother me too much." - Great. I am so glad you are trying and you will succeed. It really is about learning, observing, etc. I actually think these are great life skills, not just for cats but for life in general.

" I gave Fluffy a tiny bit of leeway tonight and he was a pretty good boy for the most part." - Great!!!

" I was sitting with them on the ground" - Great. I would like to get to a point where you are sitting on the couch and see if you can hang out with one of them (if it is ok for them to be on couches, etc). But the floor is a great place to start.

" and Fluffy kind of stepped up onto my lap to ask for a treat " - Awwwwwwwww

"and Sapphire was right beside me and she took another fast swat at him (this time I think I saw claws but I could be mistaken)." - Ok. Maybe teaching manners. Let's see what happens next.

"He was good and didn't really react to it," - FANTASTIC!!! And I think this is really important. It is not so much how we perceive something what is really important is how the cats perceive something. So if Fluffy isn't bothered then we shouldn't be. OF COURSE, we don't want that to happen but if it does and the other cat doesn't think it is a big deal then it is not a big deal.

" but I did notice that her hissing and growling wasn't really getting him worked up as much." - Really? THAT is great. He is understanding her intent is not bad.

" He tried to sneak up on her once while she was right in the corner behind the smaller cat tree." - Ok, I would guess for play.

" He also lunged at her a few minutes later while her back was to him which gave her a scare." - Ok, would love to know the context of it. But again, if he wanted to hurt her he surely can. That is not his intent.

" She bolted up to her room and she didn't seem too bothered," - Ok, I am not at al bothered that she "bolted" but it is GREAT she didn't seem bothered.

" but I wasn't able to get her to come back downstairs, even with treats." - Ok. So he didn't chase her upstairs? FANTASTIC if true.

" She got as far as the top of the stairs and when she heard Fluffy meow, she took off back into her room." - Ok, that is fine. As long as he didn't do anything negative (and it seems like he didn't) then any fear she may have had (which doesn't seem like much) will not be realized. I still just wonder if it is a game, a way of playing with her. I know you disagree but she does not act like a frightened cat. If she was she would be hiding, avoiding him, etc. She might be cautious but not frightened. There is a big difference.

AND she seems to be a bit bolder in teaching him some manners or acceptable behavior (the swats). So she seems to be stepping up a bit AND (even better) he is respecting it. They are working out the ground rules it seems.

So I view this as terrific. Perfect? No. But perfect with animals, humans, etc is rarely if ever achievable. Absolutely positive and acceptable and not worrisome? Yes.

Would love to know if you have a different take.

"I will keep at it! " - Absolutely. You are doing great. I honestly think you are there already. Let's see if we can get more proof.

Keep up the great work!!
 
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Graham18

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"Thank you :)" - You are very welcome

"I am trying really hard to gain confidence and not let things that happen bother me too much." - Great. I am so glad you are trying and you will succeed. It really is about learning, observing, etc. I actually think these are great life skills, not just for cats but for life in general.

" I gave Fluffy a tiny bit of leeway tonight and he was a pretty good boy for the most part." - Great!!!

" I was sitting with them on the ground" - Great. I would like to get to a point where you are sitting on the couch and see if you can hang out with one of them (if it is ok for them to be on couches, etc). But the floor is a great place to start.

" and Fluffy kind of stepped up onto my lap to ask for a treat " - Awwwwwwwww

"and Sapphire was right beside me and she took another fast swat at him (this time I think I saw claws but I could be mistaken)." - Ok. Maybe teaching manners. Let's see what happens next.

"He was good and didn't really react to it," - FANTASTIC!!! And I think this is really important. It is not so much how we perceive something what is really important is how the cats perceive something. So if Fluffy isn't bothered then we shouldn't be. OF COURSE, we don't want that to happen but if it does and the other cat doesn't think it is a big deal then it is not a big deal.

" but I did notice that her hissing and growling wasn't really getting him worked up as much." - Really? THAT is great. He is understanding her intent is not bad.

" He tried to sneak up on her once while she was right in the corner behind the smaller cat tree." - Ok, I would guess for play.

" He also lunged at her a few minutes later while her back was to him which gave her a scare." - Ok, would love to know the context of it. But again, if he wanted to hurt her he surely can. That is not his intent.

" She bolted up to her room and she didn't seem too bothered," - Ok, I am not at al bothered that she "bolted" but it is GREAT she didn't seem bothered.

" but I wasn't able to get her to come back downstairs, even with treats." - Ok. So he didn't chase her upstairs? FANTASTIC if true.

" She got as far as the top of the stairs and when she heard Fluffy meow, she took off back into her room." - Ok, that is fine. As long as he didn't do anything negative (and it seems like he didn't) then any fear she may have had (which doesn't seem like much) will not be realized. I still just wonder if it is a game, a way of playing with her. I know you disagree but she does not act like a frightened cat. If she was she would be hiding, avoiding him, etc. She might be cautious but not frightened. There is a big difference.

AND she seems to be a bit bolder in teaching him some manners or acceptable behavior (the swats). So she seems to be stepping up a bit AND (even better) he is respecting it. They are working out the ground rules it seems.

So I view this as terrific. Perfect? No. But perfect with animals, humans, etc is rarely if ever achievable. Absolutely positive and acceptable and not worrisome? Yes.

Would love to know if you have a different take.

"I will keep at it! " - Absolutely. You are doing great. I honestly think you are there already. Let's see if we can get more proof.

Keep up the great work!!
I would love to have one of them on the couch, however neither of them is a huge fan of being held or sitting still, especially when the other is around. Fluffy is very squirmy at the best of times and though he'll go look out the window sometimes from the back of the couch but when he wants to go somewhere else, he jumps from the couch and he'll make it half way across the room before I can even react. With Sapphire, she's difficult when Fluffy is out with her even with being petted she'll growl and swat so holding her or trying to get her to relax on the couch may be difficult.

I'm pretty sure he is still just wanting to play with her. He gets into his hunting stance where he's really low to the ground and sneaking like he's going to pounce the same way he does with toys. With his lunge attempt at her, I find he seems to try and do it either when she's hiding from him or she has her back turned to him and of course when she jumps up or down to or from something. I'm noticing it less when they are directly face to face but I'm usually keeping him distracted. I was worried about the two times last night as Sapphire was essentially in a corner and if he would have got to her, she wouldn't have had an escape route. I had to intervene when he lunged at her or he would have chased her upstairs.

I tried again very briefly this morning. Sapphire was laying on a "crinkle bag" toy in the middle of the living room and I let Fluffy out of his room. He started to walk towards her and she hissed at him and then he immediately tried to pounce on her before I intervened. She ran to the base of the stairs before bolting upstairs. He was very alert and I think wanted to chase her but I was already holding him back from the intervention. This time Sapphire was actually hiding under the bed when I went upstairs so I just left her a treat and let her be.

I will try again tonight and see how it goes!
 
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Graham18

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I would love to have one of them on the couch, however neither of them is a huge fan of being held or sitting still, especially when the other is around. Fluffy is very squirmy at the best of times and though he'll go look out the window sometimes from the back of the couch but when he wants to go somewhere else, he jumps from the couch and he'll make it half way across the room before I can even react. With Sapphire, she's difficult when Fluffy is out with her even with being petted she'll growl and swat so holding her or trying to get her to relax on the couch may be difficult.

I'm pretty sure he is still just wanting to play with her. He gets into his hunting stance where he's really low to the ground and sneaking like he's going to pounce the same way he does with toys. With his lunge attempt at her, I find he seems to try and do it either when she's hiding from him or she has her back turned to him and of course when she jumps up or down to or from something. I'm noticing it less when they are directly face to face but I'm usually keeping him distracted. I was worried about the two times last night as Sapphire was essentially in a corner and if he would have got to her, she wouldn't have had an escape route. I had to intervene when he lunged at her or he would have chased her upstairs.

I tried again very briefly this morning. Sapphire was laying on a "crinkle bag" toy in the middle of the living room and I let Fluffy out of his room. He started to walk towards her and she hissed at him and then he immediately tried to pounce on her before I intervened. She ran to the base of the stairs before bolting upstairs. He was very alert and I think wanted to chase her but I was already holding him back from the intervention. This time Sapphire was actually hiding under the bed when I went upstairs so I just left her a treat and let her be.

I will try again tonight and see how it goes!
Since I struggle to catch pictures and videos of body language, etc, I found two pictures that may be of some use.

This first would be what Sapphire looks like when Fluffy lunges at her or gets too close to her (she would be the white cat).
2a31a25c4fefe3060736a58fc3c93345246857f5-460x243.jpg


The second is kind of how Fluffy looks when he's trying to sneak up on her.
12082-Silver-spotted-cat-in-aggressive-posture-white-background.jpg


I hope that helps a bit!
 

Furmama22

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These are EXACTLY what Hawthorne and Florie look like too. Florie is the Sapphire and Hawthorne is the Fluffy. :)
 

calicosrspecial

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I would love to have one of them on the couch, however neither of them is a huge fan of being held or sitting still, especially when the other is around. Fluffy is very squirmy at the best of times and though he'll go look out the window sometimes from the back of the couch but when he wants to go somewhere else, he jumps from the couch and he'll make it half way across the room before I can even react. With Sapphire, she's difficult when Fluffy is out with her even with being petted she'll growl and swat so holding her or trying to get her to relax on the couch may be difficult.

I'm pretty sure he is still just wanting to play with her. He gets into his hunting stance where he's really low to the ground and sneaking like he's going to pounce the same way he does with toys. With his lunge attempt at her, I find he seems to try and do it either when she's hiding from him or she has her back turned to him and of course when she jumps up or down to or from something. I'm noticing it less when they are directly face to face but I'm usually keeping him distracted. I was worried about the two times last night as Sapphire was essentially in a corner and if he would have got to her, she wouldn't have had an escape route. I had to intervene when he lunged at her or he would have chased her upstairs.

I tried again very briefly this morning. Sapphire was laying on a "crinkle bag" toy in the middle of the living room and I let Fluffy out of his room. He started to walk towards her and she hissed at him and then he immediately tried to pounce on her before I intervened. She ran to the base of the stairs before bolting upstairs. He was very alert and I think wanted to chase her but I was already holding him back from the intervention. This time Sapphire was actually hiding under the bed when I went upstairs so I just left her a treat and let her be.

I will try again tonight and see how it goes!
"I would love to have one of them on the couch, however neither of them is a huge fan of being held or sitting still, especially when the other is around. Fluffy is very squirmy at the best of times and though he'll go look out the window sometimes from the back of the couch but when he wants to go somewhere else, he jumps from the couch and he'll make it half way across the room before I can even react. With Sapphire, she's difficult when Fluffy is out with her even with being petted she'll growl and swat so holding her or trying to get her to relax on the couch may be difficult." - Ok. Well you may be alone on the couch then and use words and throw some treats if needed and let them do their part.

"I'm pretty sure he is still just wanting to play with her." - Agreed

"He gets into his hunting stance where he's really low to the ground and sneaking like he's going to pounce the same way he does with toys. With his lunge attempt at her, I find he seems to try and do it either when she's hiding from him or she has her back turned to him and of course when she jumps up or down to or from something." - Yes, that is fun play for cats.

" I'm noticing it less when they are directly face to face but I'm usually keeping him distracted." - Yes, ok.

" I was worried about the two times last night as Sapphire was essentially in a corner and if he would have got to her, she wouldn't have had an escape route. I had to intervene when he lunged at her or he would have chased her upstairs." - Ok. She will learn about escape routes. We'll have to see how they do and how they act after. :/

"I tried again very briefly this morning. Sapphire was laying on a "crinkle bag" toy in the middle of the living room and I let Fluffy out of his room. He started to walk towards her and she hissed at him and then he immediately tried to pounce on her before I intervened." - OK, do you think they had pent up energy? Do the hang out when their belies are full so they are a bit slower.

" She ran to the base of the stairs before bolting upstairs." - Ok, was she low to the ground when she ran?

" He was very alert and I think wanted to chase her but I was already holding him back from the intervention." - OK, he must have had pent up energy.

" This time Sapphire was actually hiding under the bed when I went upstairs so I just left her a treat and let her be." - OK, good job doing that. She will learn. It is good it was not negative. But disappointing she did hide. :/

"I will try again tonight and see how it goes! " - Great. Do it after a meal (at least for him) and if you can play with him then feed him then hang out even better.
 
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Graham18

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"I would love to have one of them on the couch, however neither of them is a huge fan of being held or sitting still, especially when the other is around. Fluffy is very squirmy at the best of times and though he'll go look out the window sometimes from the back of the couch but when he wants to go somewhere else, he jumps from the couch and he'll make it half way across the room before I can even react. With Sapphire, she's difficult when Fluffy is out with her even with being petted she'll growl and swat so holding her or trying to get her to relax on the couch may be difficult." - Ok. Well you may be alone on the couch then and use words and throw some treats if needed and let them do their part.

"I'm pretty sure he is still just wanting to play with her." - Agreed

"He gets into his hunting stance where he's really low to the ground and sneaking like he's going to pounce the same way he does with toys. With his lunge attempt at her, I find he seems to try and do it either when she's hiding from him or she has her back turned to him and of course when she jumps up or down to or from something." - Yes, that is fun play for cats.

" I'm noticing it less when they are directly face to face but I'm usually keeping him distracted." - Yes, ok.

" I was worried about the two times last night as Sapphire was essentially in a corner and if he would have got to her, she wouldn't have had an escape route. I had to intervene when he lunged at her or he would have chased her upstairs." - Ok. She will learn about escape routes. We'll have to see how they do and how they act after. :/

"I tried again very briefly this morning. Sapphire was laying on a "crinkle bag" toy in the middle of the living room and I let Fluffy out of his room. He started to walk towards her and she hissed at him and then he immediately tried to pounce on her before I intervened." - OK, do you think they had pent up energy? Do the hang out when their belies are full so they are a bit slower.

" She ran to the base of the stairs before bolting upstairs." - Ok, was she low to the ground when she ran?

" He was very alert and I think wanted to chase her but I was already holding him back from the intervention." - OK, he must have had pent up energy.

" This time Sapphire was actually hiding under the bed when I went upstairs so I just left her a treat and let her be." - OK, good job doing that. She will learn. It is good it was not negative. But disappointing she did hide. :/

"I will try again tonight and see how it goes! " - Great. Do it after a meal (at least for him) and if you can play with him then feed him then hang out even better.
We did another attempt in the afternoon when Fluffy was out in the house and Sapphire didn't want to be in her room. It was a huge struggle again to get her to come downstairs. She did eventually come down part way but just hissed from the stairs before going back to her room.

During the evening, I decided to take it easy since I didn't want to cause her anymore stress. She was relaxing on the cushions so I let Fluffy eat and then he laid down to watch her as she ate calmy. Once she was done, she did go upstairs again but seemed calmer doing it. Fluffy explored for a bit and found the cat tree that I moved near a window by the backdoor and after about ten minutes Sapphire came down and went to the kitchen near the backdoor. Fluffy didn't see her as he was busy with the window, but I'm guessing she knew he was there. When I walked out of the kitchen she scooted back upstairs.

I'm so unsure what's suddenly caused her to be so scared of him. To my knowledge there haven't been any issues other than the lunges, however she was acting scared prior to that. I've even started switching their blankets again incase for some reason scents have changed and she doesn't recognize him.
 

calicosrspecial

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We did another attempt in the afternoon when Fluffy was out in the house and Sapphire didn't want to be in her room. It was a huge struggle again to get her to come downstairs. She did eventually come down part way but just hissed from the stairs before going back to her room.

During the evening, I decided to take it easy since I didn't want to cause her anymore stress. She was relaxing on the cushions so I let Fluffy eat and then he laid down to watch her as she ate calmy. Once she was done, she did go upstairs again but seemed calmer doing it. Fluffy explored for a bit and found the cat tree that I moved near a window by the backdoor and after about ten minutes Sapphire came down and went to the kitchen near the backdoor. Fluffy didn't see her as he was busy with the window, but I'm guessing she knew he was there. When I walked out of the kitchen she scooted back upstairs.

I'm so unsure what's suddenly caused her to be so scared of him. To my knowledge there haven't been any issues other than the lunges, however she was acting scared prior to that. I've even started switching their blankets again incase for some reason scents have changed and she doesn't recognize him.
"We did another attempt in the afternoon when Fluffy was out in the house and Sapphire didn't want to be in her room." - Great

" It was a huge struggle again to get her to come downstairs." - Ok but let's not force it. Just leave it up to her to do what see wants. So if she doesn't want to come down, fine. If she does, great. Just try to be "cool" meaning "this is the way it is, everything is fine, etc".

" She did eventually come down part way but just hissed from the stairs before going back to her room." - Ok, of course we would love for her to march down, own the place, etc. BUT as long as he is not doing anything negative she will learn that all is fine.

So of course I would love hr to come down etc BUT I am not at all bothered by that. She will decide when the reward of being down there is greater than any fears she may have.

By the way, do you have any feral cats or neighbor cats or other animals around your house?

"During the evening, I decided to take it easy since I didn't want to cause her anymore stress." - Great though I am not sure what you did before caused any stress.

" She was relaxing on the cushions so I let Fluffy eat and then he laid down to watch her as she ate calmy." - PERFECT!!!

" Once she was done, she did go upstairs again but seemed calmer doing it." - Ok, perfect.

" Fluffy explored for a bit and found the cat tree that I moved near a window by the backdoor " - Great

"and after about ten minutes Sapphire came down" - LOVE IT!!! EXACTLY what we want to see. This is exactly what I was trying to get at just before. Her reward of being down there will be better, greater, than any fear she may have.

" and went to the kitchen near the backdoor." - WOW!!! Did she know he was there on the cat tree?

" Fluffy didn't see her as he was busy with the window," - Well, I am guessing he knew she was coming and was more interested in what is outside which is GREAT!!!

" but I'm guessing she knew he was there." - Ok, well, that answers my question. I figured she would know he was there.

" When I walked out of the kitchen she scooted back upstairs." - So you were in the kitchen during all of this as well? Your movement could have caused her to move. How ere your emotions? Were you anxious? Did you move more quickly than normal?

"I'm so unsure what's suddenly caused her to be so scared of him." - Well, there is an assumption there, that it is him causing her anxiety. I am not so sure it is all him.

" To my knowledge there haven't been any issues other than the lunges," - Yes.

" however she was acting scared prior to that." - I just wonder if it is something outside. I am not certain it is all him. If it was him she would not go into the kitchen, etc.

" I've even started switching their blankets again incase for some reason scents have changed and she doesn't recognize him. " - That is fine but I don't think that is the issue.

Just let her do her thing, don't force face to face encounters, just keep doing what you are doing. Make it as positive for both, stay calm and confident, just be normal as possible around them. They are doing great.
 
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Graham18

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"We did another attempt in the afternoon when Fluffy was out in the house and Sapphire didn't want to be in her room." - Great

" It was a huge struggle again to get her to come downstairs." - Ok but let's not force it. Just leave it up to her to do what see wants. So if she doesn't want to come down, fine. If she does, great. Just try to be "cool" meaning "this is the way it is, everything is fine, etc".

" She did eventually come down part way but just hissed from the stairs before going back to her room." - Ok, of course we would love for her to march down, own the place, etc. BUT as long as he is not doing anything negative she will learn that all is fine.

So of course I would love hr to come down etc BUT I am not at all bothered by that. She will decide when the reward of being down there is greater than any fears she may have.

By the way, do you have any feral cats or neighbor cats or other animals around your house?

"During the evening, I decided to take it easy since I didn't want to cause her anymore stress." - Great though I am not sure what you did before caused any stress.

" She was relaxing on the cushions so I let Fluffy eat and then he laid down to watch her as she ate calmy." - PERFECT!!!

" Once she was done, she did go upstairs again but seemed calmer doing it." - Ok, perfect.

" Fluffy explored for a bit and found the cat tree that I moved near a window by the backdoor " - Great

"and after about ten minutes Sapphire came down" - LOVE IT!!! EXACTLY what we want to see. This is exactly what I was trying to get at just before. Her reward of being down there will be better, greater, than any fear she may have.

" and went to the kitchen near the backdoor." - WOW!!! Did she know he was there on the cat tree?

" Fluffy didn't see her as he was busy with the window," - Well, I am guessing he knew she was coming and was more interested in what is outside which is GREAT!!!

" but I'm guessing she knew he was there." - Ok, well, that answers my question. I figured she would know he was there.

" When I walked out of the kitchen she scooted back upstairs." - So you were in the kitchen during all of this as well? Your movement could have caused her to move. How ere your emotions? Were you anxious? Did you move more quickly than normal?

"I'm so unsure what's suddenly caused her to be so scared of him." - Well, there is an assumption there, that it is him causing her anxiety. I am not so sure it is all him.

" To my knowledge there haven't been any issues other than the lunges," - Yes.

" however she was acting scared prior to that." - I just wonder if it is something outside. I am not certain it is all him. If it was him she would not go into the kitchen, etc.

" I've even started switching their blankets again incase for some reason scents have changed and she doesn't recognize him. " - That is fine but I don't think that is the issue.

Just let her do her thing, don't force face to face encounters, just keep doing what you are doing. Make it as positive for both, stay calm and confident, just be normal as possible around them. They are doing great.
There used to be one stray that would come near the house to go and hunt in the field nearby and lives in a heated cat shelter down the street, however I haven't seen the foot prints in the snow in quite some time. There is also a group of six deer that will walk through the yard sometimes, but both cats love to watch them when they see them.

My guess is that Sapphire knew Fluffy was there as she was acting a bit cautious/curious. I didn't see her at first as I was standing in the door way watching Fluffy being cute and then I turned to walk to the counter and that's when I noticed Sapphire and after a few seconds she ran away when I turned to walk back to the dining room. Possibly curiosity but I'm not really sure.

The only real change, other than letting them get closer together, is I've been letting Fluffy out in the morning lately while keeping Sapphire in her room. I've been so tired and Sapphire likes to eat in her room then relax, so for the passed few weeks, I've just been taking the opportunity to let Fluffy out for about half an hour before work. I would love to just leave her door open, however he has quite a bit energy in the morning and likes to go all over the house, and it would be too difficult to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not bothering Sapphire while I'm trying to get ready for work.

Other than that, I don't believe there have been any other changes that are causing her anxiety or stress.
 

calicosrspecial

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There used to be one stray that would come near the house to go and hunt in the field nearby and lives in a heated cat shelter down the street, however I haven't seen the foot prints in the snow in quite some time. There is also a group of six deer that will walk through the yard sometimes, but both cats love to watch them when they see them.

My guess is that Sapphire kid beofe.new Fluffy was there as she was acting a bit cautious/curious. I didn't see her at first as I was standing in the door way watching Fluffy being cute and then I turned to walk to the counter and that's when I noticed Sapphire and after a few seconds she ran away when I turned to walk back to the dining room. Possibly curiosity but I'm not really sure.

The only real change, other than letting them get closer together, is I've been letting Fluffy out in the morning lately while keeping Sapphire in her room. I've been so tired and Sapphire likes to eat in her room then relax, so for the passed few weeks, I've just been taking the opportunity to let Fluffy out for about half an hour before work. I would love to just leave her door open, however he has quite a bit energy in the morning and likes to go all over the house, and it would be too difficult to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not bothering Sapphire while I'm trying to get ready for work.

Other than that, I don't believe there have been any other changes that are causing her anxiety or stress.
"There used to be one stray that would come near the house to go and hunt in the field nearby and lives in a heated cat shelter down the street, however I haven't seen the foot prints in the snow in quite some time." - Ok, keep an eye on any footprints.

" There is also a group of six deer that will walk through the yard sometimes, but both cats love to watch them when they see them." - Yes, deer shouldn't cause issues.

"My guess is that Sapphire knew Fluffy was there as she was acting a bit cautious/curious." - Ok, good, thought so. Great she still came in.

" I didn't see her at first as I was standing in the door way watching Fluffy being cute and then I turned to walk to the counter and that's when I noticed Sapphire and after a few seconds she ran away when I turned to walk back to the dining room. Possibly curiosity but I'm not really sure." - Ok, good to know. I suspect the movement.

"The only real change, other than letting them get closer together, is I've been letting Fluffy out in the morning lately while keeping Sapphire in her room." - Ok, so before she would be out of her room? If so, that can cause insecurity. Try to let her have s much access to territory as she did before.

" I've been so tired and Sapphire likes to eat in her room then relax, so for the passed few weeks, I've just been taking the opportunity to let Fluffy out for about half an hour before work. " - Ok you are not leaving her door open? If so, if you can I would leave it open. I know it may cause stress so if I had to chose would let her door open and keep Fluffy in his room BUT if you can leave the door open and let Fluffy roam and just keep an ear to them then that might be best.

"I would love to just leave her door open, however he has quite a bit energy in the morning and likes to go all over the house, and it would be too difficult to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not bothering Sapphire while I'm trying to get ready for work." - OK, you answered my question. Well, it is working well so far. Hmmmmm, I would like to try to leave the door open if possible then keep an ear open for them BUT I suspect they would just work it out between them.

"Other than that, I don't believe there have been any other changes that are causing her anxiety or stress. " - Ok, great to know. I wonder if it is the door open/closed in the morning. They are doing well so it is not a big deal. Just keep doing what you are doing and let's think about the morning door thing. BUT if it stresses ou then it is not worth it given they are doing well.
 
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"There used to be one stray that would come near the house to go and hunt in the field nearby and lives in a heated cat shelter down the street, however I haven't seen the foot prints in the snow in quite some time." - Ok, keep an eye on any footprints.

" There is also a group of six deer that will walk through the yard sometimes, but both cats love to watch them when they see them." - Yes, deer shouldn't cause issues.

"My guess is that Sapphire knew Fluffy was there as she was acting a bit cautious/curious." - Ok, good, thought so. Great she still came in.

" I didn't see her at first as I was standing in the door way watching Fluffy being cute and then I turned to walk to the counter and that's when I noticed Sapphire and after a few seconds she ran away when I turned to walk back to the dining room. Possibly curiosity but I'm not really sure." - Ok, good to know. I suspect the movement.

"The only real change, other than letting them get closer together, is I've been letting Fluffy out in the morning lately while keeping Sapphire in her room." - Ok, so before she would be out of her room? If so, that can cause insecurity. Try to let her have s much access to territory as she did before.

" I've been so tired and Sapphire likes to eat in her room then relax, so for the passed few weeks, I've just been taking the opportunity to let Fluffy out for about half an hour before work. " - Ok you are not leaving her door open? If so, if you can I would leave it open. I know it may cause stress so if I had to chose would let her door open and keep Fluffy in his room BUT if you can leave the door open and let Fluffy roam and just keep an ear to them then that might be best.

"I would love to just leave her door open, however he has quite a bit energy in the morning and likes to go all over the house, and it would be too difficult to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not bothering Sapphire while I'm trying to get ready for work." - OK, you answered my question. Well, it is working well so far. Hmmmmm, I would like to try to leave the door open if possible then keep an ear open for them BUT I suspect they would just work it out between them.

"Other than that, I don't believe there have been any other changes that are causing her anxiety or stress. " - Ok, great to know. I wonder if it is the door open/closed in the morning. They are doing well so it is not a big deal. Just keep doing what you are doing and let's think about the morning door thing. BUT if it stresses ou then it is not worth it given they are doing well.
I will try one morning leaving her door open and see how it goes. She usually doesn't seem too bothered when I reopen it and is usually curled up in her bed after she's eaten. I will give it a try and see how it goes. Prior to letting Fluffy out in the mornings, I would spend time with him in his room and then rush in ten minutes to get ready for work. It ended up becoming too much of a rush, especially now that it is winter and my drive takes longer.

I think most of my stress comes from just thinking about letting Fluffy go to her. I get so worried about the sounds and the wrestling, etc, and that causes me huge amounts of stress, partially because I've never really done it and fear of the unknown and not really knowing what I'm doing.

Last night was pretty much all positive, but very short lived. After they had dinner together, Sapphire went upstairs (didn't seem scared this time). She actually just sat at the top of the stairs for a few minutes and they watched eachother and then she went to lay down and Fluffy went to look out the window (after really fixating on the top of the stairs for a few minutes). Sapphire didn't come back down and Fluffy got to look out the window for twenty minutes.

I'm wondering if it is still okay to have them seperated by gates during the day or if I should have the door to Fluffy fully closed. Sapphire actually seems to enjoy visiting him at the gate but I don't know if it's causing issues.

Last night they were pawing at eachother through the gate pretty calmly and this morning when I was saying bye to Fluffy, they were both calmly sniffing eachother and touching noses through the gate. I'm just not sure if it's causing major issues or not.
 

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I will try one morning leaving her door open and see how it goes. She usually doesn't seem too bothered when I reopen it and is usually curled up in her bed after she's eaten. I will give it a try and see how it goes. Prior to letting Fluffy out in the mornings, I would spend time with him in his room and then rush in ten minutes to get ready for work. It ended up becoming too much of a rush, especially now that it is winter and my drive takes longer.

I think most of my stress comes from just thinking about letting Fluffy go to her. I get so worried about the sounds and the wrestling, etc, and that causes me huge amounts of stress, partially because I've never really done it and fear of the unknown and not really knowing what I'm doing.

Last night was pretty much all positive, but very short lived. After they had dinner together, Sapphire went upstairs (didn't seem scared this time). She actually just sat at the top of the stairs for a few minutes and they watched eachother and then she went to lay down and Fluffy went to look out the window (after really fixating on the top of the stairs for a few minutes). Sapphire didn't come back down and Fluffy got to look out the window for twenty minutes.

I'm wondering if it is still okay to have them seperated by gates during the day or if I should have the door to Fluffy fully closed. Sapphire actually seems to enjoy visiting him at the gate but I don't know if it's causing issues.

Last night they were pawing at eachother through the gate pretty calmly and this morning when I was saying bye to Fluffy, they were both calmly sniffing eachother and touching noses through the gate. I'm just not sure if it's causing major issues or not.
"I will try one morning leaving her door open and see how it goes." - Ok

" She usually doesn't seem too bothered when I reopen it and is usually curled up in her bed after she's eaten." - Oh, so she is ok with it?

" I will give it a try and see how it goes. " - Ok, let's give it a try and see. If she choses to just curl up and sleep GREAT. It is really all about her and making sure she feels like she can do what she wants.

"Prior to letting Fluffy out in the mornings, I would spend time with him in his room and then rush in ten minutes to get ready for work. It ended up becoming too much of a rush, especially now that it is winter and my drive takes longer." - Ok, I don't want you rushing as rushing can cause stress and anxiety etc and the cats can get worked up. Just be as calm and as possible and do what you need to do. The cats will be fine.

"I think most of my stress comes from just thinking about letting Fluffy go to her. " - Yes. You don't trust him enough yet. :/ But they might just surprise you.

"I get so worried about the sounds and the wrestling, etc, and that causes me huge amounts of stress," - Yes. But sounds are not a big deal, it would be actions that hurt, that cause changes in behavior, etc. And they need to do their part. And that is dealing with each other, working it out. If we hover, stress, etc it can be counterproductive. So we want to be "cool" with it so they think "yeah, all is well, that cat is cool".

" partially because I've never really done it " - Yes, understandable.

"and fear of the unknown" - Yes and the fear someone may get hurt.

" and not really knowing what I'm doing." - You do know what you are doing, a lot more than you realize.

"Last night was pretty much all positive, but very short lived. After they had dinner together, Sapphire went upstairs (didn't seem scared this time). She actually just sat at the top of the stairs for a few minutes and they watched eachother and then she went to lay down and Fluffy went to look out the window (after really fixating on the top of the stairs for a few minutes). Sapphire didn't come back down and Fluffy got to look out the window for twenty minutes." - THAT IS PERFECT!! The fact Fluffy is good will allow Sapphire to get more courage and do what she wants. Way better than "pretty much positive". It was positive.

"I'm wondering if it is still okay to have them seperated by gates during the day or if I should have the door to Fluffy fully closed." - All is going well now so I would keep doing what you are doing.

" Sapphire actually seems to enjoy visiting him at the gate" - Yes

" but I don't know if it's causing issues." - It could be, gates (lack of access) can cause issues. Frustration.

"Last night they were pawing at eachother through the gate pretty calmly and this morning when I was saying bye to Fluffy, they were both calmly sniffing eachother and touching noses through the gate. I'm just not sure if it's causing major issues or not. " - Well, THAT sounds great. If they do that then walk away with no negativity it is definitely positive.

I would like to do more face to face etc then just get rid of the gates rather than do a gate only when you leave etc.

When you come home from work and get a bit settled how about just open everything up and do your thing and let them do their thing and see how it goes? I just think they are a lot closer (if not there already) then you think (or fear). Sure there could be a chase but they need to get it out of their systems. I just don't think Fluffy would ever hurt her. And I think you could call him, use treats to get him "off" of her. Then she can realize he really doesn't mean harm. And we can break that "fear of the unknown" that Sapphire may have of him (if that is really the issue which I am not so sure it is).

Keep up the great work!!! Just try to enjoy them and not stress. Let them feel the love you have for them. Let that love take over any fears you may have.
 
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"I will try one morning leaving her door open and see how it goes." - Ok

" She usually doesn't seem too bothered when I reopen it and is usually curled up in her bed after she's eaten." - Oh, so she is ok with it?

" I will give it a try and see how it goes. " - Ok, let's give it a try and see. If she choses to just curl up and sleep GREAT. It is really all about her and making sure she feels like she can do what she wants.

"Prior to letting Fluffy out in the mornings, I would spend time with him in his room and then rush in ten minutes to get ready for work. It ended up becoming too much of a rush, especially now that it is winter and my drive takes longer." - Ok, I don't want you rushing as rushing can cause stress and anxiety etc and the cats can get worked up. Just be as calm and as possible and do what you need to do. The cats will be fine.

"I think most of my stress comes from just thinking about letting Fluffy go to her. " - Yes. You don't trust him enough yet. :/ But they might just surprise you.

"I get so worried about the sounds and the wrestling, etc, and that causes me huge amounts of stress," - Yes. But sounds are not a big deal, it would be actions that hurt, that cause changes in behavior, etc. And they need to do their part. And that is dealing with each other, working it out. If we hover, stress, etc it can be counterproductive. So we want to be "cool" with it so they think "yeah, all is well, that cat is cool".

" partially because I've never really done it " - Yes, understandable.

"and fear of the unknown" - Yes and the fear someone may get hurt.

" and not really knowing what I'm doing." - You do know what you are doing, a lot more than you realize.

"Last night was pretty much all positive, but very short lived. After they had dinner together, Sapphire went upstairs (didn't seem scared this time). She actually just sat at the top of the stairs for a few minutes and they watched eachother and then she went to lay down and Fluffy went to look out the window (after really fixating on the top of the stairs for a few minutes). Sapphire didn't come back down and Fluffy got to look out the window for twenty minutes." - THAT IS PERFECT!! The fact Fluffy is good will allow Sapphire to get more courage and do what she wants. Way better than "pretty much positive". It was positive.

"I'm wondering if it is still okay to have them seperated by gates during the day or if I should have the door to Fluffy fully closed." - All is going well now so I would keep doing what you are doing.

" Sapphire actually seems to enjoy visiting him at the gate" - Yes

" but I don't know if it's causing issues." - It could be, gates (lack of access) can cause issues. Frustration.

"Last night they were pawing at eachother through the gate pretty calmly and this morning when I was saying bye to Fluffy, they were both calmly sniffing eachother and touching noses through the gate. I'm just not sure if it's causing major issues or not. " - Well, THAT sounds great. If they do that then walk away with no negativity it is definitely positive.

I would like to do more face to face etc then just get rid of the gates rather than do a gate only when you leave etc.

When you come home from work and get a bit settled how about just open everything up and do your thing and let them do their thing and see how it goes? I just think they are a lot closer (if not there already) then you think (or fear). Sure there could be a chase but they need to get it out of their systems. I just don't think Fluffy would ever hurt her. And I think you could call him, use treats to get him "off" of her. Then she can realize he really doesn't mean harm. And we can break that "fear of the unknown" that Sapphire may have of him (if that is really the issue which I am not so sure it is).

Keep up the great work!!! Just try to enjoy them and not stress. Let them feel the love you have for them. Let that love take over any fears you may have.
We had a completely unintentional minor chase and dustup tonight.

Sapphire was in her room when I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner. After he ate he followed me to the kitchen, went and looked out the back window, etc. As we were walking back to the living room, I guess Sapphire got curious and came downstairs and I didn't see her peaking her head around the bannister at the base of the stairs but Fluffy did. He ran at her and she bolted upstairs and he chased after her. At this point I was pretty much like, "oh well, he's already gone after her, there's nothing I can do to stop it". I walked upstairs after them and witnessed him pounce on her in the bathroom where they rolled around and she screamed for about five seconds before she got away and ran to her room. Fluffy tried to chase her in there but I clapped and he briefly stopped in the doorway and I just carried him back downstairs.

He was a little squirmy, but once he was downstairs he was fine. He laid down on the floor and just watched the stairs for a bit and then he followed me over to the backdoor and went up on the cat tree to look out the window. He tried to go back upstairs twice but I redirected him with a few treats, however for the most part he either laid down or looked out one of the windows.

While Fluffy was looking out the window (about five minutes after the dustup), I went to check on Sapphire. She was hunched over hiding under a clothing rack and didn't seem too happy. She gave me a slight growl when I got close to her so I just let her be. I went back up after another five minutes and she was laying on the rug in her room and allowed me to pet her. She seemed a little nervous or anxious but not super scared. After I put Fluffy to bed, she was still laying there and I got her to play a bit with a string. After another few minutes she moved closer to the door and just sat there for a few minutes staring out the door (I took a picture of her at this time that I'll post below). I gave her some pets and she eventually went to eat a bit. A few minutes later she seemed mostly fine, possibly just a bit nervous still as she would hear the tv downstairs and her head would dart to the door. As if right now (about an hour after the chase), she's napping in her bed, although she really hasn't eaten much of her wet or dry food yet.

Here is the picture.
20211123_205725.jpg


I also checked them both for injuries but I didn't see or feel anything.

I will see how they are tomorrow. I'm guessing Fluffy will be fine since he seemed fine tonight and I'm pretty sure he was excited because he thought she was playing. Based on past experiences, I'm guessing she will be a bit nervous/cautious around him but I will update.
 

calicosrspecial

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We had a completely unintentional minor chase and dustup tonight.

Sapphire was in her room when I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner. After he ate he followed me to the kitchen, went and looked out the back window, etc. As we were walking back to the living room, I guess Sapphire got curious and came downstairs and I didn't see her peaking her head around the bannister at the base of the stairs but Fluffy did. He ran at her and she bolted upstairs and he chased after her. At this point I was pretty much like, "oh well, he's already gone after her, there's nothing I can do to stop it". I walked upstairs after them and witnessed him pounce on her in the bathroom where they rolled around and she screamed for about five seconds before she got away and ran to her room. Fluffy tried to chase her in there but I clapped and he briefly stopped in the doorway and I just carried him back downstairs.

He was a little squirmy, but once he was downstairs he was fine. He laid down on the floor and just watched the stairs for a bit and then he followed me over to the backdoor and went up on the cat tree to look out the window. He tried to go back upstairs twice but I redirected him with a few treats, however for the most part he either laid down or looked out one of the windows.

While Fluffy was looking out the window (about five minutes after the dustup), I went to check on Sapphire. She was hunched over hiding under a clothing rack and didn't seem too happy. She gave me a slight growl when I got close to her so I just let her be. I went back up after another five minutes and she was laying on the rug in her room and allowed me to pet her. She seemed a little nervous or anxious but not super scared. After I put Fluffy to bed, she was still laying there and I got her to play a bit with a string. After another few minutes she moved closer to the door and just sat there for a few minutes staring out the door (I took a picture of her at this time that I'll post below). I gave her some pets and she eventually went to eat a bit. A few minutes later she seemed mostly fine, possibly just a bit nervous still as she would hear the tv downstairs and her head would dart to the door. As if right now (about an hour after the chase), she's napping in her bed, although she really hasn't eaten much of her wet or dry food yet.

Here is the picture.
View attachment 402318

I also checked them both for injuries but I didn't see or feel anything.

I will see how they are tomorrow. I'm guessing Fluffy will be fine since he seemed fine tonight and I'm pretty sure he was excited because he thought she was playing. Based on past experiences, I'm guessing she will be a bit nervous/cautious around him but I will update.
"We had a completely unintentional minor chase and dustup tonight." - Ok, let's see

"Sapphire was in her room when I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner. After he ate he followed me to the kitchen, went and looked out the back window, etc." - Ok

"As we were walking back to the living room, I guess Sapphire got curious and came downstairs and I didn't see her peaking her head around the bannister at the base of the stairs but Fluffy did. He ran at her and she bolted upstairs and he chased after her." - Ok, understandable. I actually use a toy like how Sapphire was acting to encourage play.

" At this point I was pretty much like, "oh well, he's already gone after her, there's nothing I can do to stop it"." - Yes, agreed. Sounds like you were pretty calm. If so that is great.

" I walked upstairs after them" - Great you walked and didn't run.

"and witnessed him pounce on her in the bathroom where they rolled around and she screamed for about five seconds before she got away" - Great she got away that easily.

" and ran to her room." - Ok

" Fluffy tried to chase her in there" - Yes, they will. It is "fun" to them.

" but I clapped and he briefly stopped in the doorway" - Ok, good. Though words should be the first thing to try. But great he stopped.

" and I just carried him back downstairs." - Ok, if you can get him down on his own (walking) that would be great but carrying is fine.

"He was a little squirmy," - Yes, probably because of being carried and pentup energy.

" but once he was downstairs he was fine." - GREAT tells me it was all play in his mind.

" He laid down on the floor and just watched the stairs for a bit and then he followed me over to the backdoor and went up on the cat tree to look out the window." - Great

" He tried to go back upstairs twice" - How was his body language when he tried?

" but I redirected him with a few treats," - Great job

" however for the most part he either laid down or looked out one of the windows." - Perfect

"While Fluffy was looking out the window (about five minutes after the dustup), I went to check on Sapphire." - Great, how she acts is the key.

" She was hunched over hiding under a clothing rack and didn't seem too happy." - Ok, understandable.

" She gave me a slight growl when I got close to her so I just let her be." - Ok good job letting her be.

" I went back up after another five minutes and she was laying on the rug in her room and allowed me to pet her." - AWESOME!!! Fast rebound!!! EXACTLY what I was hoping to see. SO she wasn't that terrorized by it.

" She seemed a little nervous or anxious but not super scared. " - Understnadable, that is ok.

"After I put Fluffy to bed, she was still laying there and I got her to play a bit with a string." - GREAT JOB!!!

" After another few minutes she moved closer to the door and just sat there for a few minutes staring out the door (I took a picture of her at this time that I'll post below)." - Ok, great

" I gave her some pets and she eventually went to eat a bit. A few minutes later she seemed mostly fine, possibly just a bit nervous still as she would hear the tv downstairs and her head would dart to the door. As if right now (about an hour after the chase), she's napping in her bed, although she really hasn't eaten much of her wet or dry food yet." - Ok so it sounds like she got over it quickly (Fast Rebound). Great. This could actually help us get over that last hurdle. OF COURSE we would prefer not to have this BUT if it happens, this is about as good as it can go.

"Here is the picture. " - She looks fine. Maybe a bit on the "alert" side but nothing I would worry about. She is GORGEOUS!!!

"I also checked them both for injuries but I didn't see or feel anything." - Great. I figured given how they acted and their history (they have shown no intent to hurt the other). BUT great to check and know since it can get out of control. BUT they showed they don't want to harm and no where the line is.

"I will see how they are tomorrow." - Great, let us know.

" I'm guessing Fluffy will be fine since he seemed fine tonight and I'm pretty sure he was excited because he thought she was playing." - Yes and agreed

" Based on past experiences, I'm guessing she will be a bit nervous/cautious around him but I will update. " - Yes so just try to make sure they have a positive encounter but I suspect she will be fine. Just let her do her thing and keep him occupied and make it as positive as possible.

Overall, I think this might have advanced things. Let's see.
 
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Graham18

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"We had a completely unintentional minor chase and dustup tonight." - Ok, let's see

"Sapphire was in her room when I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner. After he ate he followed me to the kitchen, went and looked out the back window, etc." - Ok

"As we were walking back to the living room, I guess Sapphire got curious and came downstairs and I didn't see her peaking her head around the bannister at the base of the stairs but Fluffy did. He ran at her and she bolted upstairs and he chased after her." - Ok, understandable. I actually use a toy like how Sapphire was acting to encourage play.

" At this point I was pretty much like, "oh well, he's already gone after her, there's nothing I can do to stop it"." - Yes, agreed. Sounds like you were pretty calm. If so that is great.

" I walked upstairs after them" - Great you walked and didn't run.

"and witnessed him pounce on her in the bathroom where they rolled around and she screamed for about five seconds before she got away" - Great she got away that easily.

" and ran to her room." - Ok

" Fluffy tried to chase her in there" - Yes, they will. It is "fun" to them.

" but I clapped and he briefly stopped in the doorway" - Ok, good. Though words should be the first thing to try. But great he stopped.

" and I just carried him back downstairs." - Ok, if you can get him down on his own (walking) that would be great but carrying is fine.

"He was a little squirmy," - Yes, probably because of being carried and pentup energy.

" but once he was downstairs he was fine." - GREAT tells me it was all play in his mind.

" He laid down on the floor and just watched the stairs for a bit and then he followed me over to the backdoor and went up on the cat tree to look out the window." - Great

" He tried to go back upstairs twice" - How was his body language when he tried?

" but I redirected him with a few treats," - Great job

" however for the most part he either laid down or looked out one of the windows." - Perfect

"While Fluffy was looking out the window (about five minutes after the dustup), I went to check on Sapphire." - Great, how she acts is the key.

" She was hunched over hiding under a clothing rack and didn't seem too happy." - Ok, understandable.

" She gave me a slight growl when I got close to her so I just let her be." - Ok good job letting her be.

" I went back up after another five minutes and she was laying on the rug in her room and allowed me to pet her." - AWESOME!!! Fast rebound!!! EXACTLY what I was hoping to see. SO she wasn't that terrorized by it.

" She seemed a little nervous or anxious but not super scared. " - Understnadable, that is ok.

"After I put Fluffy to bed, she was still laying there and I got her to play a bit with a string." - GREAT JOB!!!

" After another few minutes she moved closer to the door and just sat there for a few minutes staring out the door (I took a picture of her at this time that I'll post below)." - Ok, great

" I gave her some pets and she eventually went to eat a bit. A few minutes later she seemed mostly fine, possibly just a bit nervous still as she would hear the tv downstairs and her head would dart to the door. As if right now (about an hour after the chase), she's napping in her bed, although she really hasn't eaten much of her wet or dry food yet." - Ok so it sounds like she got over it quickly (Fast Rebound). Great. This could actually help us get over that last hurdle. OF COURSE we would prefer not to have this BUT if it happens, this is about as good as it can go.

"Here is the picture. " - She looks fine. Maybe a bit on the "alert" side but nothing I would worry about. She is GORGEOUS!!!

"I also checked them both for injuries but I didn't see or feel anything." - Great. I figured given how they acted and their history (they have shown no intent to hurt the other). BUT great to check and know since it can get out of control. BUT they showed they don't want to harm and no where the line is.

"I will see how they are tomorrow." - Great, let us know.

" I'm guessing Fluffy will be fine since he seemed fine tonight and I'm pretty sure he was excited because he thought she was playing." - Yes and agreed

" Based on past experiences, I'm guessing she will be a bit nervous/cautious around him but I will update. " - Yes so just try to make sure they have a positive encounter but I suspect she will be fine. Just let her do her thing and keep him occupied and make it as positive as possible.

Overall, I think this might have advanced things. Let's see.
Small update from this morning. Things were the usual routine. As I was saying bye to them, I tried to give them some treats together upstairs after I had put Fluffy in my bedroom. Sapphire was still a bit cautious and only made it about as far as her doorway to get her treats. She would just sit in the middle of her room and stare at it if it was further away. As expected a bit on the nervous side so I will see tonight how they are.
 

calicosrspecial

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Small update from this morning. Things were the usual routine. As I was saying bye to them, I tried to give them some treats together upstairs after I had put Fluffy in my bedroom. Sapphire was still a bit cautious and only made it about as far as her doorway to get her treats. She would just sit in the middle of her room and stare at it if it was further away. As expected a bit on the nervous side so I will see tonight how they are.
"Small update from this morning. Things were the usual routine." - Ok, let's see

" As I was saying bye to them, I tried to give them some treats together upstairs after I had put Fluffy in my bedroom." - Ok, good

" Sapphire was still a bit cautious and only made it about as far as her doorway to get her treats." - Ok, that sounds fine. how was her body language?

" She would just sit in the middle of her room and stare at it if it was further away." - Ok

" As expected a bit on the nervous side so I will see tonight how they are." - Ok but that doesn't sound bad.

Is her door open all day then?

Let us know how it goes tonight. Sounds like she is going to be fine. Thanks for the update.
 
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Graham18

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"Small update from this morning. Things were the usual routine." - Ok, let's see

" As I was saying bye to them, I tried to give them some treats together upstairs after I had put Fluffy in my bedroom." - Ok, good

" Sapphire was still a bit cautious and only made it about as far as her doorway to get her treats." - Ok, that sounds fine. how was her body language?

" She would just sit in the middle of her room and stare at it if it was further away." - Ok

" As expected a bit on the nervous side so I will see tonight how they are." - Ok but that doesn't sound bad.

Is her door open all day then?

Let us know how it goes tonight. Sounds like she is going to be fine. Thanks for the update.
Hello! No major updates from tonight. First, to answer your questions..
1. I would classify her body language as definitely nervous this morning.
2. Her door remains open for most of the day. I let Fluffy out now for about half an hour in the morning for breakfast (she's goes to nap in her bed after she eats first). In the afternoon during the week, my mom comes over and gives Sapphire some treats and Sapphire will then go back to her bed to nap and my mom let's Fluffy out and keeps him company, plays with him, and if it's nice out, takes him outside for a walk in the yard. Sapphire typically sleeps from about noon until 6-7 every day in her room, but her door is only closed for maybe 4 hours a day on average.

Now to the update. Not much has changed since yesterday/this morning. While I was playing with Fluffy in my room, Sapphire made it to the bathroom doorway a few feet away and she was peaking around the corner and gave a few hisses, but she wouldn't come any closer to the gate for a treat.

When I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner, she was laying on top of her cat tree and seemed pretty stressed. Fluffy was eating on the ground maybe 10 feet away and she would growl every now and then and if I would give her a treat, she would growl at me. She did come down for a treat on the ground and immediately ran upstairs after she ate it. While Fluffy was looking out the window, I went upstairs and she was in the very back corner of her room hunched over. I also found her once under the clothing rack again hunched over. Overall, I don't know if I would say she was scared, but definitely pretty nervous or stressed about him.

Fluffy remained downstairs with me and tried to go upstairs a few times even trying to squeeze through the bannister even though he is too big to fit, but eventually gave up and just laid down and watched the top of the stairs for her to come down.

Once Fluffy had gone to bed within a minute or two Sapphire was back to normal wanting to play with me and she started eating her dinner.

This picture I took while I was in my room with Fluffy was probably the most relaxed she looked all night.
20211124_201355.jpg
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello! No major updates from tonight. First, to answer your questions..
1. I would classify her body language as definitely nervous this morning.
2. Her door remains open for most of the day. I let Fluffy out now for about half an hour in the morning for breakfast (she's goes to nap in her bed after she eats first). In the afternoon during the week, my mom comes over and gives Sapphire some treats and Sapphire will then go back to her bed to nap and my mom let's Fluffy out and keeps him company, plays with him, and if it's nice out, takes him outside for a walk in the yard. Sapphire typically sleeps from about noon until 6-7 every day in her room, but her door is only closed for maybe 4 hours a day on average.

Now to the update. Not much has changed since yesterday/this morning. While I was playing with Fluffy in my room, Sapphire made it to the bathroom doorway a few feet away and she was peaking around the corner and gave a few hisses, but she wouldn't come any closer to the gate for a treat.

When I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner, she was laying on top of her cat tree and seemed pretty stressed. Fluffy was eating on the ground maybe 10 feet away and she would growl every now and then and if I would give her a treat, she would growl at me. She did come down for a treat on the ground and immediately ran upstairs after she ate it. While Fluffy was looking out the window, I went upstairs and she was in the very back corner of her room hunched over. I also found her once under the clothing rack again hunched over. Overall, I don't know if I would say she was scared, but definitely pretty nervous or stressed about him.

Fluffy remained downstairs with me and tried to go upstairs a few times even trying to squeeze through the bannister even though he is too big to fit, but eventually gave up and just laid down and watched the top of the stairs for her to come down.

Once Fluffy had gone to bed within a minute or two Sapphire was back to normal wanting to play with me and she started eating her dinner.

This picture I took while I was in my room with Fluffy was probably the most relaxed she looked all night.
View attachment 402461
"Hello! No major updates from tonight. First, to answer your questions.." - OK, let's see

"1. I would classify her body language as definitely nervous this morning." - Ok

"2. Her door remains open for most of the day." - Great

" I let Fluffy out now for about half an hour in the morning for breakfast (she's goes to nap in her bed after she eats first)." - Ok

" In the afternoon during the week, my mom comes over and gives Sapphire some treats and Sapphire will then go back to her bed to nap and my mom let's Fluffy out and keeps him company, plays with him, and if it's nice out, takes him outside for a walk in the yard. Sapphire typically sleeps from about noon until 6-7 every day in her room, but her door is only closed for maybe 4 hours a day on average." - Ok, great

"Now to the update. Not much has changed since yesterday/this morning." - Ok

" While I was playing with Fluffy in my room, Sapphire made it to the bathroom doorway a few feet away and she was peaking around the corner and gave a few hisses, but she wouldn't come any closer to the gate for a treat." - Ok, that is fine. As long as nothing bad happens it is positive.

"When I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner, she was laying on top of her cat tree and seemed pretty stressed." - Ok

" Fluffy was eating on the ground maybe 10 feet away and she would growl every now and then and if I would give her a treat, she would growl at me." - Ok. That isn't so bad. When she is like that just let her be, act like nothing is going on. Just give her the treat and act like "whatever". Don't even react to the growl.

" She did come down for a treat on the ground" - GREAT!!!

" and immediately ran upstairs after she ate it. " - Ok, fine, as long as he didn't chase, do anything negative.

"While Fluffy was looking out the window, I went upstairs and she was in the very back corner of her room hunched over. I also found her once under the clothing rack again hunched over. Overall, I don't know if I would say she was scared, but definitely pretty nervous or stressed about him." - Ok. :/ Disappointing but great he didn't do anything negative to her.

I really want to step up play with her downstairs.

"Fluffy remained downstairs with me and tried to go upstairs a few times even trying to squeeze through the bannister even though he is too big to fit, but eventually gave up and just laid down and watched the top of the stairs for her to come down." - Great

"Once Fluffy had gone to bed within a minute or two Sapphire was back to normal wanting to play with me and she started eating her dinner." - Ok, great. So really get her playing down there. I want her to really gain confidence, ownership. It is great she acted like that. If she can do it with his scent she will be able to do it with him around.

"This picture I took while I was in my room with Fluffy was probably the most relaxed she looked all night. " - She does look good there. Combined with her playing after he was in his room is positive. AND combined with him not doing anything negative to her ALL builds trust and confidence.

Keep doing what you are doing and maximize the positive encounters. At some point she will realize he is not a real, total threat and be like "I want to live life, won this with my brother".

Keep up the great work!!!
 
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Graham18

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"Hello! No major updates from tonight. First, to answer your questions.." - OK, let's see

"1. I would classify her body language as definitely nervous this morning." - Ok

"2. Her door remains open for most of the day." - Great

" I let Fluffy out now for about half an hour in the morning for breakfast (she's goes to nap in her bed after she eats first)." - Ok

" In the afternoon during the week, my mom comes over and gives Sapphire some treats and Sapphire will then go back to her bed to nap and my mom let's Fluffy out and keeps him company, plays with him, and if it's nice out, takes him outside for a walk in the yard. Sapphire typically sleeps from about noon until 6-7 every day in her room, but her door is only closed for maybe 4 hours a day on average." - Ok, great

"Now to the update. Not much has changed since yesterday/this morning." - Ok

" While I was playing with Fluffy in my room, Sapphire made it to the bathroom doorway a few feet away and she was peaking around the corner and gave a few hisses, but she wouldn't come any closer to the gate for a treat." - Ok, that is fine. As long as nothing bad happens it is positive.

"When I brought Fluffy downstairs for dinner, she was laying on top of her cat tree and seemed pretty stressed." - Ok

" Fluffy was eating on the ground maybe 10 feet away and she would growl every now and then and if I would give her a treat, she would growl at me." - Ok. That isn't so bad. When she is like that just let her be, act like nothing is going on. Just give her the treat and act like "whatever". Don't even react to the growl.

" She did come down for a treat on the ground" - GREAT!!!

" and immediately ran upstairs after she ate it. " - Ok, fine, as long as he didn't chase, do anything negative.

"While Fluffy was looking out the window, I went upstairs and she was in the very back corner of her room hunched over. I also found her once under the clothing rack again hunched over. Overall, I don't know if I would say she was scared, but definitely pretty nervous or stressed about him." - Ok. :/ Disappointing but great he didn't do anything negative to her.

I really want to step up play with her downstairs.

"Fluffy remained downstairs with me and tried to go upstairs a few times even trying to squeeze through the bannister even though he is too big to fit, but eventually gave up and just laid down and watched the top of the stairs for her to come down." - Great

"Once Fluffy had gone to bed within a minute or two Sapphire was back to normal wanting to play with me and she started eating her dinner." - Ok, great. So really get her playing down there. I want her to really gain confidence, ownership. It is great she acted like that. If she can do it with his scent she will be able to do it with him around.

"This picture I took while I was in my room with Fluffy was probably the most relaxed she looked all night. " - She does look good there. Combined with her playing after he was in his room is positive. AND combined with him not doing anything negative to her ALL builds trust and confidence.

Keep doing what you are doing and maximize the positive encounters. At some point she will realize he is not a real, total threat and be like "I want to live life, won this with my brother".

Keep up the great work!!!
Thank you I will try my best :)

I just want to clarify that I shouldn't allow him to go to her/chase her again yet and just stick to dinner and treats/play?

I will try and get her playing. It may just end up being treats in a ball for now as shes the type of cat that will let me know when she wants to play and it is a struggle to get her playing unless she's the one that wants to.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you I will try my best :)

I just want to clarify that I shouldn't allow him to go to her/chase her again yet and just stick to dinner and treats/play?

I will try and get her playing. It may just end up being treats in a ball for now as shes the type of cat that will let me know when she wants to play and it is a struggle to get her playing unless she's the one that wants to.
"Thank you I will try my best :)" - You will do great

"I just want to clarify that I shouldn't allow him to go to her/chase her again yet and just stick to dinner and treats/play?" - Yes. Keep it positive and work on building her confidence in that territory using play. Just the basics of Maximize positive encounters, minimize or avoid negative encounters and build confidence.

"I will try and get her playing. It may just end up being treats in a ball for now as shes the type of cat that will let me know when she wants to play and it is a struggle to get her playing unless she's the one that wants to. " - Ok, that is fine. Confidence is Play, Food, Height and Love so any of those will build confidence. I just want her to walk around that territory like the Queen. Owing it, feeling safe, secure.

We;;l see how she does in the next few days and more forward from there. But so far, I am not worried. She is doing fine. :)

Keep up the great work.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you I will try my best :)

I just want to clarify that I shouldn't allow him to go to her/chase her again yet and just stick to dinner and treats/play?

I will try and get her playing. It may just end up being treats in a ball for now as shes the type of cat that will let me know when she wants to play and it is a struggle to get her playing unless she's the one that wants to.
I want to add. I would like to try to get Fluffy to be moving around (playing, chasing treats, anything where he is moving and focused on something other than Sapphire) while Sapphire watches from her cat tree or somewhere she feels safe. I want her to see that he can move around and not be a perceived threat or concern.
 
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