Help/Advice for introductions

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Graham18

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I want to add. I would like to try to get Fluffy to be moving around (playing, chasing treats, anything where he is moving and focused on something other than Sapphire) while Sapphire watches from her cat tree or somewhere she feels safe. I want her to see that he can move around and not be a perceived threat or concern.
Sounds good. He really loves to chase treats around, though play is sometimes a bit more difficult so I'll throw some treats around for him and give her some treats while she watches.
 
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Unfortunately tonight was still the same. Sapphire seemed a bit less scared of him while he was behind the gate, even coming over for a sniff.

She watched him eat dinner from up on the cat tree. I did try and play with her but she wasn't having it so I just gave her a few treats while she watched (we did play a bit downstairs when I first got home from work).

Things seemed to be going okay. I had Fluffy chasing treats towards the kitchen and I put some treats in a feeder ball hoping Sapphire would play with it. As he was walking back towards me, about ten feet from the cat tree, Sapphire suddenly started to growl at him and hiss and then quickly jumped down and ran upstairs. I was so focused on Fluffy that I wasn't able to watch her. He really wanted to chase her as soon as the growling started again so I had to step in his path to block him (when he's super focused on something, I need to break his attention before he will respond to me even slightly). He watched her run upstairs and I could tell he really wanted to chase.

After that nothing of note happened. Fluffy went to look out the back window (after trying to sneak by me to go upstairs), and Sapphire was just laying on the bed that is in her room.

Here is a picture of her watching Fluffy eat.
20211125_202353.jpg


I'm so worried that I've ruined the progress that was made. The last time they had their dust up, she was fine within a day or two, but this time she seems like she wants nothing to do with him.
 

calicosrspecial

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Sounds good. He really loves to chase treats around, though play is sometimes a bit more difficult so I'll throw some treats around for him and give her some treats while she watches.
Sorry for the delayed response.

"Sounds good. He really loves to chase treats around, though play is sometimes a bit more difficult so I'll throw some treats around for him and give her some treats while she watches." - Great

"Unfortunately tonight was still the same." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire seemed a bit less scared of him while he was behind the gate, even coming over for a sniff." - Great

"She watched him eat dinner from up on the cat tree." - Perfect

" I did try and play with her but she wasn't having it so I just gave her a few treats while she watched (we did play a bit downstairs when I first got home from work)." - Great

"Things seemed to be going okay." - Agreed, actually better than ok it sounds.

" I had Fluffy chasing treats towards the kitchen " - Great

"and I put some treats in a feeder ball hoping Sapphire would play with it." - Ok. But at this point let's just let her watch him running around.

"As he was walking back towards me, about ten feet from the cat tree, Sapphire suddenly started to growl at him and hiss and then quickly jumped down and ran upstairs." - Ok, so she never did play with the feeder ball? What he does after is the key.

" I was so focused on Fluffy that I wasn't able to watch her." - OK, that is fine. We just don't want him chasing her.

" He really wanted to chase her as soon as the growling started again so I had to step in his path to block him (when he's super focused on something, I need to break his attention before he will respond to me even slightly)." - Ok, great job

" He watched her run upstairs and I could tell he really wanted to chase." - Ok, of course BUT her didn't?

"After that nothing of note happened. Fluffy went to look out the back window (after trying to sneak by me to go upstairs), and Sapphire was just laying on the bed that is in her room." - Ok, great. So nothing negative really happened to her which is great.

"Here is a picture of her watching Fluffy eat. " - Awwwwww, GORGEOUS!!!!

"I'm so worried that I've ruined the progress that was made." - You do not have to worry. The progress is not at all ruined. I actually think this encounter was fine. Of course it could have been better BUT it could have been worse as well. I think it went fine. Her fears weren't realized.

I can't remember her history. How old was she when you got her? She is not de-clawed, correct? Do you have any history about her previous life?

"The last time they had their dust up, she was fine within a day or two," - Can you define "fine"? How was she better the last time?

" but this time she seems like she wants nothing to do with him." - Well, yes but she doesn't seem bad. We just need to keep her interactions positive for now and see how she does. I don't think this is anything but a blip. I am also just not sure it is all Fluffy. I just have a sense it is something else. Fluffy hasn't really done anything to cause her fear. :/ Even the chase and dustup was nothing, he let her go, didn't hurt her, etc.

Let's keep at it. See if you can get more video. I am missing something, just what I am not sure.
 
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Sorry for the delayed response.

"Sounds good. He really loves to chase treats around, though play is sometimes a bit more difficult so I'll throw some treats around for him and give her some treats while she watches." - Great

"Unfortunately tonight was still the same." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire seemed a bit less scared of him while he was behind the gate, even coming over for a sniff." - Great

"She watched him eat dinner from up on the cat tree." - Perfect

" I did try and play with her but she wasn't having it so I just gave her a few treats while she watched (we did play a bit downstairs when I first got home from work)." - Great

"Things seemed to be going okay." - Agreed, actually better than ok it sounds.

" I had Fluffy chasing treats towards the kitchen " - Great

"and I put some treats in a feeder ball hoping Sapphire would play with it." - Ok. But at this point let's just let her watch him running around.

"As he was walking back towards me, about ten feet from the cat tree, Sapphire suddenly started to growl at him and hiss and then quickly jumped down and ran upstairs." - Ok, so she never did play with the feeder ball? What he does after is the key.

" I was so focused on Fluffy that I wasn't able to watch her." - OK, that is fine. We just don't want him chasing her.

" He really wanted to chase her as soon as the growling started again so I had to step in his path to block him (when he's super focused on something, I need to break his attention before he will respond to me even slightly)." - Ok, great job

" He watched her run upstairs and I could tell he really wanted to chase." - Ok, of course BUT her didn't?

"After that nothing of note happened. Fluffy went to look out the back window (after trying to sneak by me to go upstairs), and Sapphire was just laying on the bed that is in her room." - Ok, great. So nothing negative really happened to her which is great.

"Here is a picture of her watching Fluffy eat. " - Awwwwww, GORGEOUS!!!!

"I'm so worried that I've ruined the progress that was made." - You do not have to worry. The progress is not at all ruined. I actually think this encounter was fine. Of course it could have been better BUT it could have been worse as well. I think it went fine. Her fears weren't realized.

I can't remember her history. How old was she when you got her? She is not de-clawed, correct? Do you have any history about her previous life?

"The last time they had their dust up, she was fine within a day or two," - Can you define "fine"? How was she better the last time?

" but this time she seems like she wants nothing to do with him." - Well, yes but she doesn't seem bad. We just need to keep her interactions positive for now and see how she does. I don't think this is anything but a blip. I am also just not sure it is all Fluffy. I just have a sense it is something else. Fluffy hasn't really done anything to cause her fear. :/ Even the chase and dustup was nothing, he let her go, didn't hurt her, etc.

Let's keep at it. See if you can get more video. I am missing something, just what I am not sure.
No need to apologize at all. I've been at work for almost 12 hours so I've been quite busy today, but even so absolutely no need :)

Yes unfortunately I could not get her to play at all. As for her history, she was believed to be around 8 months old when I adopted her just based on her dental. She was estimated at 7 years old, but upon checking her teeth, the vet at the rescue put her age closer to 8 months. She is not de-clawed and unfortunately I don't have any history. From what I remember when adopting her is that she was found in a back alley searching for food and it was believed she was a stray. She was very tiny when I adopted her at only about 3 pounds and very skinny. She began to become a little anxious this past winter and I believed it to be seperation anxiety as I was off work for ten weeks while in lockdown and I noticed the anxiety after I returned to work in January. This was part of the reason I wanted to adopt a second cat as I was hoping it could help with the separation anxiety (and of course to do my part to help the overflowing rescues).

As for your other question, I think I remember that after about two days the last time, she said really seem stressed or scared around Fluffy anymore. Maybe slight growling but not like this time where she is growling and hissing at him when he's ten feet away from her. I'm hoping to see an improvement tonight or this weekend.

I will try and take more videos, even just of her. I will just have to be cautious as Fluffy can be fast and sneaky so I will need to keep an eye on him as well to make sure he doesn't try and pull a fast one on me and charge at her.

Another thing, that may be nothing, but normally Sapphire isn't a huge fan of my mom. She will take treats from her but after that will kind of just ignore her and give her the annoyed growl. This week however since the chase and dust up, every day when my mom is over, Sapphire has been super loving and affectionate towards her. I'm not sure if that means anything or if it's just a coincidence.
 

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No need to apologize at all. I've been at work for almost 12 hours so I've been quite busy today, but even so absolutely no need :)

Yes unfortunately I could not get her to play at all. As for her history, she was believed to be around 8 months old when I adopted her just based on her dental. She was estimated at 7 years old, but upon checking her teeth, the vet at the rescue put her age closer to 8 months. She is not de-clawed and unfortunately I don't have any history. From what I remember when adopting her is that she was found in a back alley searching for food and it was believed she was a stray. She was very tiny when I adopted her at only about 3 pounds and very skinny. She began to become a little anxious this past winter and I believed it to be seperation anxiety as I was off work for ten weeks while in lockdown and I noticed the anxiety after I returned to work in January. This was part of the reason I wanted to adopt a second cat as I was hoping it could help with the separation anxiety (and of course to do my part to help the overflowing rescues).

As for your other question, I think I remember that after about two days the last time, she said really seem stressed or scared around Fluffy anymore. Maybe slight growling but not like this time where she is growling and hissing at him when he's ten feet away from her. I'm hoping to see an improvement tonight or this weekend.

I will try and take more videos, even just of her. I will just have to be cautious as Fluffy can be fast and sneaky so I will need to keep an eye on him as well to make sure he doesn't try and pull a fast one on me and charge at her.

Another thing, that may be nothing, but normally Sapphire isn't a huge fan of my mom. She will take treats from her but after that will kind of just ignore her and give her the annoyed growl. This week however since the chase and dust up, every day when my mom is over, Sapphire has been super loving and affectionate towards her. I'm not sure if that means anything or if it's just a coincidence.
"No need to apologize at all. I've been at work for almost 12 hours so I've been quite busy today, but even so absolutely no need :) " - Thank you. Wow, 12 hours. Hang in there.

"Yes unfortunately I could not get her to play at all." - That is ok. I think we are going to have to work on her owning that territory where they meet more. So Fluffy might have ot be in his room a bit more while she hangs out, hopefully plays, gets love etc in that "common" area. Also, if you own the house, are you able to think about cat shelving for her?

" As for her history, she was believed to be around 8 months old when I adopted her just based on her dental. She was estimated at 7 years old, but upon checking her teeth, the vet at the rescue put her age closer to 8 months." - OK, yes, I remember that now.

" She is not de-clawed" - Great

" and unfortunately I don't have any history." - Yes, I remember now.

" From what I remember when adopting her is that she was found in a back alley searching for food and it was believed she was a stray. She was very tiny when I adopted her at only about 3 pounds and very skinny." - Yes, she had a tough start to life. :(

"She began to become a little anxious this past winter" - So like 12 months ago?

" and I believed it to be seperation anxiety as I was off work for ten weeks while in lockdown and I noticed the anxiety after I returned to work in January." - Ok, yes

" This was part of the reason I wanted to adopt a second cat as I was hoping it could help with the separation anxiety (and of course to do my part to help the overflowing rescues)." - Wonderful

"As for your other question, I think I remember that after about two days the last time, she said really seem stressed or scared around Fluffy anymore." - Ok

" Maybe slight growling but not like this time where she is growling and hissing at him when he's ten feet away from her." - Ok

" I'm hoping to see an improvement tonight or this weekend." - Well, let's let her go at her pace and not put expectations on her. Let's keep her as positive as possible. So maybe when Fluffy is ready for bed and have her downstairs with you, bonding, loving a bit more. Let's see how she does and go from there. We'll have to make sure Fluffy doesn't feel left out, ignored, etc. BUT I really want to boost her confidence, her feeling that she owns that territory.

"I will try and take more videos, even just of her. I will just have to be cautious as Fluffy can be fast and sneaky so I will need to keep an eye on him as well to make sure he doesn't try and pull a fast one on me and charge at her." - Ok. Even just on her own in that territory is good.

The main thing for now is to have her have positive times in that main area (with or without Fluffy).

"Another thing, that may be nothing, but normally Sapphire isn't a huge fan of my mom. She will take treats from her but after that will kind of just ignore her and give her the annoyed growl. This week however since the chase and dust up, every day when my mom is over, Sapphire has been super loving and affectionate towards her. I'm not sure if that means anything or if it's just a coincidence. " - Ok, that is very important. She is looking for support, a confidence person. So I really want you to spend more time with her, hanging out, loving, bonding. Even if she is on the cat tree and you are nearby.

When we rescue a cat they tend to really bond and we become "the world" to them often. So I want you to really get closer to Sapphire, to be her confidence support. So if you, Fluffy and Sapphire are together in the room try to focus on Sapphire a bit more (I know you want to keep Fluffy away and good) but use treats to keep him occupied and just be near Sapphire. I think we are going to use you a bit more to build confidence. Fluffy is tough, he'll be fine.

Let me know if you have some questions. There is some change there so it might take some back and forth. I have a feeling Sapphire's history is coming back a bit. :/ BUT we will get through it. Keep up the great work.
 
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"No need to apologize at all. I've been at work for almost 12 hours so I've been quite busy today, but even so absolutely no need :) " - Thank you. Wow, 12 hours. Hang in there.

"Yes unfortunately I could not get her to play at all." - That is ok. I think we are going to have to work on her owning that territory where they meet more. So Fluffy might have ot be in his room a bit more while she hangs out, hopefully plays, gets love etc in that "common" area. Also, if you own the house, are you able to think about cat shelving for her?

" As for her history, she was believed to be around 8 months old when I adopted her just based on her dental. She was estimated at 7 years old, but upon checking her teeth, the vet at the rescue put her age closer to 8 months." - OK, yes, I remember that now.

" She is not de-clawed" - Great

" and unfortunately I don't have any history." - Yes, I remember now.

" From what I remember when adopting her is that she was found in a back alley searching for food and it was believed she was a stray. She was very tiny when I adopted her at only about 3 pounds and very skinny." - Yes, she had a tough start to life. :(

"She began to become a little anxious this past winter" - So like 12 months ago?

" and I believed it to be seperation anxiety as I was off work for ten weeks while in lockdown and I noticed the anxiety after I returned to work in January." - Ok, yes

" This was part of the reason I wanted to adopt a second cat as I was hoping it could help with the separation anxiety (and of course to do my part to help the overflowing rescues)." - Wonderful

"As for your other question, I think I remember that after about two days the last time, she said really seem stressed or scared around Fluffy anymore." - Ok

" Maybe slight growling but not like this time where she is growling and hissing at him when he's ten feet away from her." - Ok

" I'm hoping to see an improvement tonight or this weekend." - Well, let's let her go at her pace and not put expectations on her. Let's keep her as positive as possible. So maybe when Fluffy is ready for bed and have her downstairs with you, bonding, loving a bit more. Let's see how she does and go from there. We'll have to make sure Fluffy doesn't feel left out, ignored, etc. BUT I really want to boost her confidence, her feeling that she owns that territory.

"I will try and take more videos, even just of her. I will just have to be cautious as Fluffy can be fast and sneaky so I will need to keep an eye on him as well to make sure he doesn't try and pull a fast one on me and charge at her." - Ok. Even just on her own in that territory is good.

The main thing for now is to have her have positive times in that main area (with or without Fluffy).

"Another thing, that may be nothing, but normally Sapphire isn't a huge fan of my mom. She will take treats from her but after that will kind of just ignore her and give her the annoyed growl. This week however since the chase and dust up, every day when my mom is over, Sapphire has been super loving and affectionate towards her. I'm not sure if that means anything or if it's just a coincidence. " - Ok, that is very important. She is looking for support, a confidence person. So I really want you to spend more time with her, hanging out, loving, bonding. Even if she is on the cat tree and you are nearby.

When we rescue a cat they tend to really bond and we become "the world" to them often. So I want you to really get closer to Sapphire, to be her confidence support. So if you, Fluffy and Sapphire are together in the room try to focus on Sapphire a bit more (I know you want to keep Fluffy away and good) but use treats to keep him occupied and just be near Sapphire. I think we are going to use you a bit more to build confidence. Fluffy is tough, he'll be fine.

Let me know if you have some questions. There is some change there so it might take some back and forth. I have a feeling Sapphire's history is coming back a bit. :/ BUT we will get through it. Keep up the great work.
I will do my best :)

I think she may be starting to come back to her normal self. She laid on me for close to an hour last night and was super cuddly. While I was in my room playing with Fluffy she came right over. There was no sniffing or pawing but everything seemed fine. Unfortunately Fluffy rattled the gate a bit which scared her slightly. There was no face to face as she came downstairs, but went upstairs before I could let Fluffy out. I think that she was still a bit nervous from the gate rattling.

She also seems to be okay today. I went to play with Fluffy for a few minutes and she just strolled right over to the gate and just growled a bit before walking away. She tends to be more interested in going up to the gate when I'm behind it. Could it be possibly a bit of jealousy?

Besides that she has just been napping on the cat tree and we played for a bit upstairs in her room.

If I think of any questions I will ask them :)

Here is a picture of her when I went to see her last night while Fluffy was busy looking out the window. I don't think she looks too scared, possibly just alert.
20211126_204310.jpg


And since I never post pictures of Fluffy here is one of him looking out the window just because.
20211125_072637.jpg
 

calicosrspecial

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I will do my best :)

I think she may be starting to come back to her normal self. She laid on me for close to an hour last night and was super cuddly. While I was in my room playing with Fluffy she came right over. There was no sniffing or pawing but everything seemed fine. Unfortunately Fluffy rattled the gate a bit which scared her slightly. There was no face to face as she came downstairs, but went upstairs before I could let Fluffy out. I think that she was still a bit nervous from the gate rattling.

She also seems to be okay today. I went to play with Fluffy for a few minutes and she just strolled right over to the gate and just growled a bit before walking away. She tends to be more interested in going up to the gate when I'm behind it. Could it be possibly a bit of jealousy?

Besides that she has just been napping on the cat tree and we played for a bit upstairs in her room.

If I think of any questions I will ask them :)

Here is a picture of her when I went to see her last night while Fluffy was busy looking out the window. I don't think she looks too scared, possibly just alert.
View attachment 402713

And since I never post pictures of Fluffy here is one of him looking out the window just because.
View attachment 402714
"I will do my best :) " - You will do great.

"I think she may be starting to come back to her normal self." - Great

" She laid on me for close to an hour last night and was super cuddly." - Perfect, this is exactly what I was getting at (you beat me to it!!!).

"While I was in my room playing with Fluffy she came right over. There was no sniffing or pawing but everything seemed fine." - GREAT!!! That is a BIG DEAL!!!

" Unfortunately Fluffy rattled the gate a bit which scared her slightly." - But nothing negative happened in reality, right? If so that is fine.

" There was no face to face as she came downstairs, but went upstairs before I could let Fluffy out. I think that she was still a bit nervous from the gate rattling." - Ok, that is fine. As long as there is no negativity it is positive.

"She also seems to be okay today." - Great

"I went to play with Fluffy for a few minutes and she just strolled right over to the gate and just growled a bit before walking away. " - Fantastic

"She tends to be more interested in going up to the gate when I'm behind it. Could it be possibly a bit of jealousy?" - I don't believe in jealousy but she does "own" you. So we need to keep her feeling like she "owns" you. Lap time is great for that.

"Besides that she has just been napping on the cat tree and we played for a bit upstairs in her room." - Perfect. If you can get her to play in the downstairs area that would be great as well.

"If I think of any questions I will ask them :) " - Or answer them before even asking. ;)

"Here is a picture of her when I went to see her last night while Fluffy was busy looking out the window. I don't think she looks too scared, possibly just alert. " - She looks fine. I would need context of how she is at other times but she looks good. Posure, ears, etc. AND she looks GORGEOUS!!

"And since I never post pictures of Fluffy here is one of him looking out the window just because." - Awwwww, he is gorgeous!!! He looks great.

Back on track. Not surprising but great to read!!! Keep up the great work.
 
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Graham18

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Good morning!

No really change from last night unfortunately. Sapphire watched Fluffy eat and I stayed near her on her cat tree to give her treats. She growled a bit at me and as soon as Fluffy was done eating and just sitting, she started to growl at him and then took off upstairs to her room.

I did try and play with her a lot and give her lots of attention yesterday, but she really didn't want to play that much, so pets and love it was.

She seems to be improving ever so slightly. When Fluffy is away or even just behind a gate, she acts completely normal. She even seems fine going right up to visit him as long as he's behind a gate. It's just as soon as he is out, she starts to act scared/defensive.

I don't believe I have anything else of note to add. I took two videos of her. The first one is shortly after she ran upstairs last night. It's a bit short and gets a bit chaotic at the end as I heard Fluffy coming up the stairs. The second video I took right after I put Fluffy to bed.


 

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Good morning!

No really change from last night unfortunately. Sapphire watched Fluffy eat and I stayed near her on her cat tree to give her treats. She growled a bit at me and as soon as Fluffy was done eating and just sitting, she started to growl at him and then took off upstairs to her room.

I did try and play with her a lot and give her lots of attention yesterday, but she really didn't want to play that much, so pets and love it was.

She seems to be improving ever so slightly. When Fluffy is away or even just behind a gate, she acts completely normal. She even seems fine going right up to visit him as long as he's behind a gate. It's just as soon as he is out, she starts to act scared/defensive.

I don't believe I have anything else of note to add. I took two videos of her. The first one is shortly after she ran upstairs last night. It's a bit short and gets a bit chaotic at the end as I heard Fluffy coming up the stairs. The second video I took right after I put Fluffy to bed.


"Good morning!" - Good morning

"No really change from last night unfortunately." - Let's see.

" Sapphire watched Fluffy eat and I stayed near her on her cat tree to give her treats. She growled a bit at me and as soon as Fluffy was done eating and just sitting, she started to growl at him and then took off upstairs to her room." - Ok. As long as he didn't do anything negative she will learn to trust him. She'll decide that being out and about is worth the risk (unless she just prefers upstairs).

How much attention/focus where you on Fluffy vs Sapphire before she ran upstairs?

Before I forget again, when Fluffy walks outside, does he go in bushes, etc? DO you notice a difference in Sapphire after he takes a walk?

"I did try and play with her a lot and give her lots of attention yesterday, but she really didn't want to play that much, so pets and love it was." - Ok good. The resident cat usually has the most difficult time adjusting as it is "their" territory being shared. SO trying to let them know they aren't losing territory, they aren't losing attention, food, water, access to litter box, etc, and the other cat is not negative is the key.

"She seems to be improving ever so slightly. " - Ok good. That is what matters.

"When Fluffy is away or even just behind a gate, she acts completely normal." - Great.

" She even seems fine going right up to visit him as long as he's behind a gate." - Great

" It's just as soon as he is out, she starts to act scared/defensive." - Yes so we just have to make sure his encounters with her are as positive as possible. So we will have to make sure to deter him for now. :/

"I don't believe I have anything else of note to add. I took two videos of her. The first one is shortly after she ran upstairs last night. It's a bit short and gets a bit chaotic at the end as I heard Fluffy coming up the stairs. The second video I took right after I put Fluffy to bed. " - Ok, great, I will take a look.

Video 1 - She looks great there. Just sit on the floor with her and hang out. But she looks great, fine, normal.

Video 2 - She looks really great. Happy, content. Just keep hanging out with here, be calm and confident, loving and just be normal around her. Convey that all is well.

The videos are great. So we just have that little trust hurdle to get over. Otherwise she is doing really well. And as long as Fluffy behaves she will definitely come around. :)

Keep up the great work!! Sapphire is doing fine.
 
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"Good morning!" - Good morning

"No really change from last night unfortunately." - Let's see.

" Sapphire watched Fluffy eat and I stayed near her on her cat tree to give her treats. She growled a bit at me and as soon as Fluffy was done eating and just sitting, she started to growl at him and then took off upstairs to her room." - Ok. As long as he didn't do anything negative she will learn to trust him. She'll decide that being out and about is worth the risk (unless she just prefers upstairs).

How much attention/focus where you on Fluffy vs Sapphire before she ran upstairs?

Before I forget again, when Fluffy walks outside, does he go in bushes, etc? DO you notice a difference in Sapphire after he takes a walk?

"I did try and play with her a lot and give her lots of attention yesterday, but she really didn't want to play that much, so pets and love it was." - Ok good. The resident cat usually has the most difficult time adjusting as it is "their" territory being shared. SO trying to let them know they aren't losing territory, they aren't losing attention, food, water, access to litter box, etc, and the other cat is not negative is the key.

"She seems to be improving ever so slightly. " - Ok good. That is what matters.

"When Fluffy is away or even just behind a gate, she acts completely normal." - Great.

" She even seems fine going right up to visit him as long as he's behind a gate." - Great

" It's just as soon as he is out, she starts to act scared/defensive." - Yes so we just have to make sure his encounters with her are as positive as possible. So we will have to make sure to deter him for now. :/

"I don't believe I have anything else of note to add. I took two videos of her. The first one is shortly after she ran upstairs last night. It's a bit short and gets a bit chaotic at the end as I heard Fluffy coming up the stairs. The second video I took right after I put Fluffy to bed. " - Ok, great, I will take a look.

Video 1 - She looks great there. Just sit on the floor with her and hang out. But she looks great, fine, normal.

Video 2 - She looks really great. Happy, content. Just keep hanging out with here, be calm and confident, loving and just be normal around her. Convey that all is well.

The videos are great. So we just have that little trust hurdle to get over. Otherwise she is doing really well. And as long as Fluffy behaves she will definitely come around. :)

Keep up the great work!! Sapphire is doing fine.
Fluffy does go under a small pine tree in the yard when he goes out side as he loves this tree so much. The rest of the yard is completely open so there isn't really anything for him to get into. However with that being said, it's been far too cold for him to go out. I believe that my dad aka grandpa took him out briefly maybe a week or two ago but that was it. There is just too much snow on the ground and it's been frigid almost every day.

After I posted the original reply, I went to hang out with Sapphire in her room while Fluffy was out and about. We played a bit and she ate. She seemed a little alert when she could hear him meowing, but she went over to the door.
20211128_105011.jpg

I opened the door just a crack and they sniffed and pawed at eachother through the crack. She hissed a bit but ears were up and alert and her tail was wagging.
 

calicosrspecial

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Fluffy does go under a small pine tree in the yard when he goes out side as he loves this tree so much. The rest of the yard is completely open so there isn't really anything for him to get into. However with that being said, it's been far too cold for him to go out. I believe that my dad aka grandpa took him out briefly maybe a week or two ago but that was it. There is just too much snow on the ground and it's been frigid almost every day.

After I posted the original reply, I went to hang out with Sapphire in her room while Fluffy was out and about. We played a bit and she ate. She seemed a little alert when she could hear him meowing, but she went over to the door.
View attachment 402788
I opened the door just a crack and they sniffed and pawed at eachother through the crack. She hissed a bit but ears were up and alert and her tail was wagging.
"Fluffy does go under a small pine tree in the yard when he goes out side as he loves this tree so much." - Ok. Yep, a perfect place to pick up scents.

" The rest of the yard is completely open so there isn't really anything for him to get into." - Ok

" However with that being said, it's been far too cold for him to go out. I believe that my dad aka grandpa took him out briefly maybe a week or two ago but that was it. There is just too much snow on the ground and it's been frigid almost every day." - Ok. Maybe it isn't that then recently.

"After I posted the original reply, I went to hang out with Sapphire in her room while Fluffy was out and about. We played a bit and she ate. She seemed a little alert when she could hear him meowing, but she went over to the door. " - Ok, so her door is closed? GREAT she played and ate. Any chance of leaving the door open while Fluffy is doing his thing?

Pic - she looks good. But I do think she might want to be looking out. I like to try to avoid closing doors on resident cats if at all possible.

"I opened the door just a crack and they sniffed and pawed at eachother through the crack. She hissed a bit but ears were up and alert and her tail was wagging."- Well that sounds pretty good.

I jsut wonder if the closed doors/territory might be an issue. It often is for resident cats. I know we don't want Fluffy jumping on her or keep Fluffy too much in his room but Sapphire is struggling with something. Often it is a feeling of loss of territory.
 
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"Fluffy does go under a small pine tree in the yard when he goes out side as he loves this tree so much." - Ok. Yep, a perfect place to pick up scents.

" The rest of the yard is completely open so there isn't really anything for him to get into." - Ok

" However with that being said, it's been far too cold for him to go out. I believe that my dad aka grandpa took him out briefly maybe a week or two ago but that was it. There is just too much snow on the ground and it's been frigid almost every day." - Ok. Maybe it isn't that then recently.

"After I posted the original reply, I went to hang out with Sapphire in her room while Fluffy was out and about. We played a bit and she ate. She seemed a little alert when she could hear him meowing, but she went over to the door. " - Ok, so her door is closed? GREAT she played and ate. Any chance of leaving the door open while Fluffy is doing his thing?

Pic - she looks good. But I do think she might want to be looking out. I like to try to avoid closing doors on resident cats if at all possible.

"I opened the door just a crack and they sniffed and pawed at eachother through the crack. She hissed a bit but ears were up and alert and her tail was wagging."- Well that sounds pretty good.

I jsut wonder if the closed doors/territory might be an issue. It often is for resident cats. I know we don't want Fluffy jumping on her or keep Fluffy too much in his room but Sapphire is struggling with something. Often it is a feeling of loss of territory.
Unfortunately, Fluffy just doing his thing often means either searching for me or looking for his sister haha. In the picture he was pawing and meowing at the other side of the door which I think is why she's staring at it curiously.

I'm not entirely sure where her issues are coming from. Having her in her room napping while Fluffy is out for a few hours has been the same routine for many months and she really doesn't seem to have any abnormal issues as long as Fluffy isn't out and about. All the problems started after the chase/dust-up. I've also thought that possibility her smell could be acting up as it's very dry in the house, but since the problems have only happened since the chase and she only seems stressed when he is out, I've ruled that out as well.

There was no to very minimal change tonight. She was up on her cat tree as usual while Fluffy ate across the room. I was standing near her giving her treats and talking to her. I did try to pet her but she growled and swatted at me so I stopped and just talked to her. She wasn't paying as much attention to him tonight and was looking out the window more while I stood there throwing treats into the dining room for Fluffy to chase. After about a minute or so she jumped down (I think I dropped a treat to the ground), and she just sat there for a few sec before running upstairs.

The evening continued as normal with Fluffy looking out the back window. She was upstairs relaxing on the floor of her room, but was still a little growly towards me so I just let her be.

I will keep at it and keep updating😔
 

calicosrspecial

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Unfortunately, Fluffy just doing his thing often means either searching for me or looking for his sister haha. In the picture he was pawing and meowing at the other side of the door which I think is why she's staring at it curiously.

I'm not entirely sure where her issues are coming from. Having her in her room napping while Fluffy is out for a few hours has been the same routine for many months and she really doesn't seem to have any abnormal issues as long as Fluffy isn't out and about. All the problems started after the chase/dust-up. I've also thought that possibility her smell could be acting up as it's very dry in the house, but since the problems have only happened since the chase and she only seems stressed when he is out, I've ruled that out as well.

There was no to very minimal change tonight. She was up on her cat tree as usual while Fluffy ate across the room. I was standing near her giving her treats and talking to her. I did try to pet her but she growled and swatted at me so I stopped and just talked to her. She wasn't paying as much attention to him tonight and was looking out the window more while I stood there throwing treats into the dining room for Fluffy to chase. After about a minute or so she jumped down (I think I dropped a treat to the ground), and she just sat there for a few sec before running upstairs.

The evening continued as normal with Fluffy looking out the back window. She was upstairs relaxing on the floor of her room, but was still a little growly towards me so I just let her be.

I will keep at it and keep updating😔
"Unfortunately, Fluffy just doing his thing often means either searching for me or looking for his sister haha." - Yes, he is a social cat.

" In the picture he was pawing and meowing at the other side of the door which I think is why she's staring at it curiously." - Yes, makes sense. His intent is to be with everyone, to have fun. She doesn't realize it yet.

"I'm not entirely sure where her issues are coming from." - It is tricky. I suspect her past, time on the streets. :/

" Having her in her room napping while Fluffy is out for a few hours has been the same routine for many months" - Ok

" and she really doesn't seem to have any abnormal issues as long as Fluffy isn't out and about." - But she does have issues with him moving about while she is in her room?

" All the problems started after the chase/dust-up." - The recent dust-up? What problems? Before she was running up the stairs. I guess she is not coming down like she was. What else?

" I've also thought that possibility her smell could be acting up as it's very dry in the house, " - What do you mean her smell? How so?

"but since the problems have only happened since the chase and she only seems stressed when he is out, I've ruled that out as well." - Ok. You did mention before the dust-up she was acting a little more cautiously. Correct?

"There was no to very minimal change tonight." - Ok, let's see.

" She was up on her cat tree as usual while Fluffy ate across the room." - Great

" I was standing near her giving her treats and talking to her." - Great

" I did try to pet her but she growled and swatted at me so I stopped and just talked to her." - Ok. Good job. When you are with them just act like all is well. Normal.

" She wasn't paying as much attention to him tonight and was looking out the window more while I stood there throwing treats into the dining room for Fluffy to chase." - Well that is great!!!

" After about a minute or so she jumped down (I think I dropped a treat to the ground), and she just sat there for a few sec before running upstairs." - Ok. Did Fluffy move towards her? Anything?

"The evening continued as normal with Fluffy looking out the back window. She was upstairs relaxing on the floor of her room, " - Ok. She looked normal? Comfortable? Calm?

"but was still a little growly towards me so I just let her be." - Ok, good. Or just sit on the floor with her. Give eye kisses, talking calm, confidently and lovingly. Fluffy will probably come up but that is fine. Just distract him if he comes into the room.

"I will keep at it and keep updating😔 " - Ok. I don't think that is a bad update. Where do you think I am wrong? Sure, I wish she would jump down and take some treats and not go upstairs. I am starting to wonder if she thinks she does not own the downstairs territory s much and that Fluffy owns it. So I really want you to spend a lot of time with her in that area, playing, eating, hanging out, loving.. But Fluffy didn't do anything negative. Overall, I think that was positive.

Hang in there, she is going to be fine.
 
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"Unfortunately, Fluffy just doing his thing often means either searching for me or looking for his sister haha." - Yes, he is a social cat.

" In the picture he was pawing and meowing at the other side of the door which I think is why she's staring at it curiously." - Yes, makes sense. His intent is to be with everyone, to have fun. She doesn't realize it yet.

"I'm not entirely sure where her issues are coming from." - It is tricky. I suspect her past, time on the streets. :/

" Having her in her room napping while Fluffy is out for a few hours has been the same routine for many months" - Ok

" and she really doesn't seem to have any abnormal issues as long as Fluffy isn't out and about." - But she does have issues with him moving about while she is in her room?

" All the problems started after the chase/dust-up." - The recent dust-up? What problems? Before she was running up the stairs. I guess she is not coming down like she was. What else?

" I've also thought that possibility her smell could be acting up as it's very dry in the house, " - What do you mean her smell? How so?

"but since the problems have only happened since the chase and she only seems stressed when he is out, I've ruled that out as well." - Ok. You did mention before the dust-up she was acting a little more cautiously. Correct?

"There was no to very minimal change tonight." - Ok, let's see.

" She was up on her cat tree as usual while Fluffy ate across the room." - Great

" I was standing near her giving her treats and talking to her." - Great

" I did try to pet her but she growled and swatted at me so I stopped and just talked to her." - Ok. Good job. When you are with them just act like all is well. Normal.

" She wasn't paying as much attention to him tonight and was looking out the window more while I stood there throwing treats into the dining room for Fluffy to chase." - Well that is great!!!

" After about a minute or so she jumped down (I think I dropped a treat to the ground), and she just sat there for a few sec before running upstairs." - Ok. Did Fluffy move towards her? Anything?

"The evening continued as normal with Fluffy looking out the back window. She was upstairs relaxing on the floor of her room, " - Ok. She looked normal? Comfortable? Calm?

"but was still a little growly towards me so I just let her be." - Ok, good. Or just sit on the floor with her. Give eye kisses, talking calm, confidently and lovingly. Fluffy will probably come up but that is fine. Just distract him if he comes into the room.

"I will keep at it and keep updating😔 " - Ok. I don't think that is a bad update. Where do you think I am wrong? Sure, I wish she would jump down and take some treats and not go upstairs. I am starting to wonder if she thinks she does not own the downstairs territory s much and that Fluffy owns it. So I really want you to spend a lot of time with her in that area, playing, eating, hanging out, loving.. But Fluffy didn't do anything negative. Overall, I think that was positive.

Hang in there, she is going to be fine.
I am so sorry, I think I'm just struggling to think straight and positively since the chase which in turn is adding more stress and I'm totally just doing it to myself.

From what I can tell, she mostly just lays in her bed when she's in her room. I think if anything she maybe gets a bit curious if Fluffy is outside her door, however, I think he was a little more adamant to get in since he knew I was in there. I usually don't see any issues with her when she's in there, she's usually just sleeping since she sleeps most of the day.

I suppose that the only problem I'm seeing is just how stressed she gets when Fluffy is out with her. At best, since the chase, she'll stay downstairs for maybe 2/3 minutes while he eats before running upstairs and she usually won't come back down for several hours if at all. Prior to the chase, she would usually be downstairs for 10/15 minutes before going up, but she'd usually come back down within a minute or two.

As for the smell thing, it's most likely just me overthinking, but I've noticed both of them sound stuffed up just as I am because the house is very dry in the winter.

She was also acting a bit more cautious before the dust up, but it seems to have increased tenfold now.

When she jumped down Fluffy was about half way across the house, but he did crouch low and start to move faster towards her however I threw a treat and he went after that instead. I'm not even sure if she noticed it as she was busy eating her treat then upstairs she went. She was relaxed upstairs, other than her growling at me.

Again I do apologize. I think I'm just getting overly stressed and overthinking every thing. You make a good point about the territory although she doesn't seem any different downstairs when he's not there.
 

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I am so sorry, I think I'm just struggling to think straight and positively since the chase which in turn is adding more stress and I'm totally just doing it to myself.

From what I can tell, she mostly just lays in her bed when she's in her room. I think if anything she maybe gets a bit curious if Fluffy is outside her door, however, I think he was a little more adamant to get in since he knew I was in there. I usually don't see any issues with her when she's in there, she's usually just sleeping since she sleeps most of the day.

I suppose that the only problem I'm seeing is just how stressed she gets when Fluffy is out with her. At best, since the chase, she'll stay downstairs for maybe 2/3 minutes while he eats before running upstairs and she usually won't come back down for several hours if at all. Prior to the chase, she would usually be downstairs for 10/15 minutes before going up, but she'd usually come back down within a minute or two.

As for the smell thing, it's most likely just me overthinking, but I've noticed both of them sound stuffed up just as I am because the house is very dry in the winter.

She was also acting a bit more cautious before the dust up, but it seems to have increased tenfold now.

When she jumped down Fluffy was about half way across the house, but he did crouch low and start to move faster towards her however I threw a treat and he went after that instead. I'm not even sure if she noticed it as she was busy eating her treat then upstairs she went. She was relaxed upstairs, other than her growling at me.

Again I do apologize. I think I'm just getting overly stressed and overthinking every thing. You make a good point about the territory although she doesn't seem any different downstairs when he's not there.
"I am so sorry, I think I'm just struggling to think straight and positively since the chase which in turn is adding more stress and I'm totally just doing it to myself." - Oh my, NO NEED to apologize, there is no reason. I can totally understand the difficulty in assessing the situation. Sometimes when we are so close it is hard to see the big picture. How much stressed are you post chase vs pre chase? I know you are doing it alone and you are doing great. I do think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You are doing everything right, we just need her to do her part.

"From what I can tell, she mostly just lays in her bed when she's in her room." - Ok, as long as she is happy, comfortable it is fine. If you sense she is afraid, stressed, etc then we have to do something different. BUT the picture of her at the door is not a cat that has serious issues. A cat with serious issues would not be at the door like that or do the other things she does.

"I think if anything she maybe gets a bit curious if Fluffy is outside her door," - Of course, that is a positive not a negative.

" however, I think he was a little more adamant to get in since he knew I was in there." - Absolutely.

" I usually don't see any issues with her when she's in there, she's usually just sleeping since she sleeps most of the day." - Great

"I suppose that the only problem I'm seeing is just how stressed she gets when Fluffy is out with her." - Is she stressed 100% of the time? I get a sense it is not all the time and just because she runs upstairs doesn't mean she is stressed. Can you get a 10 minute video or her in that space alone and as long as possible with him around?

" At best, since the chase, she'll stay downstairs for maybe 2/3 minutes while he eats before running upstairs and she usually won't come back down for several hours if at all. " - Ok. Is it really because she is fearful or because she just prefers it upstairs?

"Prior to the chase, she would usually be downstairs for 10/15 minutes before going up, but she'd usually come back down within a minute or two." - Yes. Coming back down shortly thereafter made me think it was a game to her.

We'll keep watching her, try to keep him from doing anything negative and let's see if we get back to "normal" in a week.

"As for the smell thing, it's most likely just me overthinking, but I've noticed both of them sound stuffed up just as I am because the house is very dry in the winter." - Ok. It could be she feels a bit "off".

"She was also acting a bit more cautious before the dust up, but it seems to have increased tenfold now." - Yes. Does it coincide with Fluffy being out more?

"When she jumped down Fluffy was about half way across the house, but he did crouch low and start to move faster towards her" - Ok

" however I threw a treat and he went after that instead." - Great!!! That tells me his interest in her is all play, fun. THAT is EXTREMELY helpful.

" I'm not even sure if she noticed it as she was busy eating her treat then upstairs she went." - Hmmmmmmmm. Cats are creatures of habit. Hs she done that a lot over the months?

" She was relaxed upstairs, other than her growling at me." - If she really feared Fluffy I would be surprised she would be so relaxed. I don't get the growling at you. Did you approach her with caution? Move differently? Stand over her? Reach from above her?

"Again I do apologize. " - Oh my goodness, there is no reason to feel any need to apologize. Something does not add up. It is our job to try to figure it out and in the meantime to work on her territorial security. I really want her to spend more time in that room with you playing, hanging out, etc. If Fluffy has to be upstairs then it is fine. Sapphire is the key, she needs that confidence and territorial security to be able to deal with Fluffy anywhere. He has no bad intent.

"I think I'm just getting overly stressed and overthinking every thing." - Well, that is normal. Remember, you are a big source of her confidence so she needs you to be calm, confident, positive and loving ( as best you can). I KNOW it is hard but just realize you are doing everything right and let the love you have for them come out and leave the worry behind.

" You make a good point about the territory although she doesn't seem any different downstairs when he's not there. " - That is great. Keep spending a lot of quality time with her in there. And keep making those positive associations with him. Se will come around.

Keep up the great work and just take a step back and really just let the love you have for them come through.
 
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Graham18

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"I am so sorry, I think I'm just struggling to think straight and positively since the chase which in turn is adding more stress and I'm totally just doing it to myself." - Oh my, NO NEED to apologize, there is no reason. I can totally understand the difficulty in assessing the situation. Sometimes when we are so close it is hard to see the big picture. How much stressed are you post chase vs pre chase? I know you are doing it alone and you are doing great. I do think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You are doing everything right, we just need her to do her part.

"From what I can tell, she mostly just lays in her bed when she's in her room." - Ok, as long as she is happy, comfortable it is fine. If you sense she is afraid, stressed, etc then we have to do something different. BUT the picture of her at the door is not a cat that has serious issues. A cat with serious issues would not be at the door like that or do the other things she does.

"I think if anything she maybe gets a bit curious if Fluffy is outside her door," - Of course, that is a positive not a negative.

" however, I think he was a little more adamant to get in since he knew I was in there." - Absolutely.

" I usually don't see any issues with her when she's in there, she's usually just sleeping since she sleeps most of the day." - Great

"I suppose that the only problem I'm seeing is just how stressed she gets when Fluffy is out with her." - Is she stressed 100% of the time? I get a sense it is not all the time and just because she runs upstairs doesn't mean she is stressed. Can you get a 10 minute video or her in that space alone and as long as possible with him around?

" At best, since the chase, she'll stay downstairs for maybe 2/3 minutes while he eats before running upstairs and she usually won't come back down for several hours if at all. " - Ok. Is it really because she is fearful or because she just prefers it upstairs?

"Prior to the chase, she would usually be downstairs for 10/15 minutes before going up, but she'd usually come back down within a minute or two." - Yes. Coming back down shortly thereafter made me think it was a game to her.

We'll keep watching her, try to keep him from doing anything negative and let's see if we get back to "normal" in a week.

"As for the smell thing, it's most likely just me overthinking, but I've noticed both of them sound stuffed up just as I am because the house is very dry in the winter." - Ok. It could be she feels a bit "off".

"She was also acting a bit more cautious before the dust up, but it seems to have increased tenfold now." - Yes. Does it coincide with Fluffy being out more?

"When she jumped down Fluffy was about half way across the house, but he did crouch low and start to move faster towards her" - Ok

" however I threw a treat and he went after that instead." - Great!!! That tells me his interest in her is all play, fun. THAT is EXTREMELY helpful.

" I'm not even sure if she noticed it as she was busy eating her treat then upstairs she went." - Hmmmmmmmm. Cats are creatures of habit. Hs she done that a lot over the months?

" She was relaxed upstairs, other than her growling at me." - If she really feared Fluffy I would be surprised she would be so relaxed. I don't get the growling at you. Did you approach her with caution? Move differently? Stand over her? Reach from above her?

"Again I do apologize. " - Oh my goodness, there is no reason to feel any need to apologize. Something does not add up. It is our job to try to figure it out and in the meantime to work on her territorial security. I really want her to spend more time in that room with you playing, hanging out, etc. If Fluffy has to be upstairs then it is fine. Sapphire is the key, she needs that confidence and territorial security to be able to deal with Fluffy anywhere. He has no bad intent.

"I think I'm just getting overly stressed and overthinking every thing." - Well, that is normal. Remember, you are a big source of her confidence so she needs you to be calm, confident, positive and loving ( as best you can). I KNOW it is hard but just realize you are doing everything right and let the love you have for them come out and leave the worry behind.

" You make a good point about the territory although she doesn't seem any different downstairs when he's not there. " - That is great. Keep spending a lot of quality time with her in there. And keep making those positive associations with him. Se will come around.

Keep up the great work and just take a step back and really just let the love you have for them come through.
Thank you for all of your support. It's one of the only things helping me keep going.

I want to try and answer your questions first before providing an update (or lack thereof).

I'm definitely feeling more stressed post chase. I think the stress is stemming from just the fact that things aren't as smooth as they were prior and just general stress all around. For perspective, for work, I'm a district manager for a large Canadian clothing company, and I have nine stores to take care of and of course, it's the holiday season.

I'm not sure if she is stressed 100% of the time, but I'd say it's pretty close. She does seem to prefer upstairs more so as her room is her space where she has her beds, toys, one of many water bowls and one of her litter boxes. She probably spends 50% of her time in there. She could be a bit fearful or anxious and she feels safe her room. In her mind, she was just minding her own business when he went after her (he was playing but she probably doesn't know that), so now she may be thinking he's going to do it again and that's why she's going there.

I don't think it coincides with him being out more. For the most part, Fluffy is out the same amount of time he was months ago. The only difference is the morning now, but that is only about 20 minutes during the week.

As for her growling, I think it's just because she didn't want to be petted at the time. She seemed pretty relaxed but sometimes she gets like that.

There is no real update from last night. I played with Sapphire downstairs for a bit when I got home with a laser. I know lasers aren't the greatest, but it's the only thing I can almost guarantee she'll play with and I would play for a bit then give her a treat and then play some more.

I gave her dinner downstairs instead of in her room (I had to physically put her bowl in front of her for her to eat it), and then surprisingly after she ate, she immediately went up to her room to nap which she's never done as she usually doesn't go to nap until after Fluffy has gone to bed.

After I played with Fluffy for a bit in my room, I just brought him downstairs on his own for his kibble while Sapphire napped upstairs. At one point she came downstairs and just sat at the bottom of the stairs peaking around the bannister. Fluffy was looking out the back window and didn't know she was there. I gave her a treat and then she ran upstairs. When I went upstairs, her door was closed slightly (about 3/4 open), and she would peak her head around the door every time I came up there to see her. Once Fluffy did come up and she hissed at him and threw a treat downstairs for him to get.

A do a have a few questions as well..
1. For the video of just her, is this in her room or downstairs? I can't promise it will be interesting haha she usually does do too much other than lay there and relax.
2. Should I continue to try and feed her downstairs? It is slightly difficult as she likes to eat in her room but I could try it.

I think I had other questions but Ive forgotten them at the moment.

Here is a short video I took downstairs after Fluffy went to bed.

If I think of anything else to add I will do so.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you for all of your support. It's one of the only things helping me keep going.

I want to try and answer your questions first before providing an update (or lack thereof).

I'm definitely feeling more stressed post chase. I think the stress is stemming from just the fact that things aren't as smooth as they were prior and just general stress all around. For perspective, for work, I'm a district manager for a large Canadian clothing company, and I have nine stores to take care of and of course, it's the holiday season.

I'm not sure if she is stressed 100% of the time, but I'd say it's pretty close. She does seem to prefer upstairs more so as her room is her space where she has her beds, toys, one of many water bowls and one of her litter boxes. She probably spends 50% of her time in there. She could be a bit fearful or anxious and she feels safe her room. In her mind, she was just minding her own business when he went after her (he was playing but she probably doesn't know that), so now she may be thinking he's going to do it again and that's why she's going there.

I don't think it coincides with him being out more. For the most part, Fluffy is out the same amount of time he was months ago. The only difference is the morning now, but that is only about 20 minutes during the week.

As for her growling, I think it's just because she didn't want to be petted at the time. She seemed pretty relaxed but sometimes she gets like that.

There is no real update from last night. I played with Sapphire downstairs for a bit when I got home with a laser. I know lasers aren't the greatest, but it's the only thing I can almost guarantee she'll play with and I would play for a bit then give her a treat and then play some more.

I gave her dinner downstairs instead of in her room (I had to physically put her bowl in front of her for her to eat it), and then surprisingly after she ate, she immediately went up to her room to nap which she's never done as she usually doesn't go to nap until after Fluffy has gone to bed.

After I played with Fluffy for a bit in my room, I just brought him downstairs on his own for his kibble while Sapphire napped upstairs. At one point she came downstairs and just sat at the bottom of the stairs peaking around the bannister. Fluffy was looking out the back window and didn't know she was there. I gave her a treat and then she ran upstairs. When I went upstairs, her door was closed slightly (about 3/4 open), and she would peak her head around the door every time I came up there to see her. Once Fluffy did come up and she hissed at him and threw a treat downstairs for him to get.

A do a have a few questions as well..
1. For the video of just her, is this in her room or downstairs? I can't promise it will be interesting haha she usually does do too much other than lay there and relax.
2. Should I continue to try and feed her downstairs? It is slightly difficult as she likes to eat in her room but I could try it.

I think I had other questions but Ive forgotten them at the moment.

Here is a short video I took downstairs after Fluffy went to bed.

If I think of anything else to add I will do so.
"Thank you for all of your support. It's one of the only things helping me keep going." - You are very welcome. Thank you for all the effort you are putting in with them!! The love you have for them and your desire to have them happy is your main driver but it is nice to know I am appreciated.

"I want to try and answer your questions first before providing an update (or lack thereof)." - Great

"I'm definitely feeling more stressed post chase." - Yes :/ I can tell. :( It is normal and common though so I work with people going through those emotions all the time.

" I think the stress is stemming from just the fact that things aren't as smooth as they were prior and just general stress all around." - Understandable. I really would like for you to really think of your love you have for them. Just look in their eyes, just feel it. Hopfully the cats can be a stress reliever (love does wonderful things).

" For perspective, for work, I'm a district manager for a large Canadian clothing company, and I have nine stores to take care of and of course, it's the holiday season." - Oh my, yes, busy and stressful I would assume!! Obviously you are very successful. You are an achiever, driven. Do you demand a lot from yourself and your employees? Are you a perfectionist?

"I'm not sure if she is stressed 100% of the time, but I'd say it's pretty close." - Really? Form the videos I didn't see it BUT you are there.

" She does seem to prefer upstairs more so as her room is her space where she has her beds, toys, one of many water bowls and one of her litter boxes. She probably spends 50% of her time in there." - Ok. 50% is actually not bad. 50% of all hours or "active" hours?

" She could be a bit fearful or anxious and she feels safe her room. In her mind," - Absolutely, that is territorial security, confidence. We want that to expand. Where does she spend her time when in the downstairs area? Cat tree I know but anywhere else?

" she was just minding her own business when he went after her " - Ok

"(he was playing but she probably doesn't know that), so now she may be thinking he's going to do it again and that's why she's going there." - Yes

"I don't think it coincides with him being out more. For the most part, Fluffy is out the same amount of time he was months ago. The only difference is the morning now, but that is only about 20 minutes during the week." - Ok

IF it really is the "pounce and chase" then the more they are together and he doesn't do that the more trust it will build. If that is all it is we can definitely handle that.

"As for her growling, I think it's just because she didn't want to be petted at the time. She seemed pretty relaxed but sometimes she gets like that." - Ok, yes, some cats will do that. My oldest girl will do that to the other cats. She gets tired of grooming them or them rubbing on her etc and she growls and they know to stop it.

"There is no real update from last night. I played with Sapphire downstairs for a bit when I got home with a laser. I know lasers aren't the greatest, but it's the only thing I can almost guarantee she'll play with and I would play for a bit then give her a treat and then play some more." - Well that is great!!! I have no issue with lasers if they work. Sure they can be frustrating because they can't "kill" it BUT if they only will play with them and they eat after and they seem happy, comfortable, etc then they are fine.

"I gave her dinner downstairs instead of in her room (I had to physically put her bowl in front of her for her to eat it), and then surprisingly after she ate, " - Ok, that is fine. She ate. Positive association and if he didn't pounce on her - Positive Encounter.

"she immediately went up to her room to nap which she's never done as she usually doesn't go to nap until after Fluffy has gone to bed." - Ok that is fine. Did you play with her with the laser before this? Remember cats do like in the wild Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep. I have no issue if she followed that.

Did she eat with Fluffy out or was he upstairs when she ate downstairs? I just read the next line.

"After I played with Fluffy for a bit in my room, I just brought him downstairs on his own for his kibble while Sapphire napped upstairs." - Great

" At one point she came downstairs and just sat at the bottom of the stairs peaking around the bannister." - Ok, this is GREAT!!!

" Fluffy was looking out the back window and didn't know she was there." - Perfect though I suspect he probably knew she was there.

" I gave her a treat and then she ran upstairs. When I went upstairs, her door was closed slightly (about 3/4 open), and she would peak her head around the door every time I came up there to see her. " - Ok. As long as it was positive (ie nothing negative) that is fine.

"Once Fluffy did come up and she hissed at him and threw a treat downstairs for him to get." - Ok. Again, if all that happens is a hiss then it is fine. It is about avoiding a negative encounter which obviously (so far) has been the case.

"A do a have a few questions as well..
1. For the video of just her, is this in her room or downstairs? I can't promise it will be interesting haha she usually does do too much other than lay there and relax." - Both but if only one downstairs. Well, if she is there relaxed that tells me something as well.

"2. Should I continue to try and feed her downstairs? It is slightly difficult as she likes to eat in her room but I could try it." - Yes, unless she just doesn't like it. Cats like routines so we want to keep everything as consistent as possible. Feed at same time, same place, same people, cats around, play at same time, etc. Routines.

"I think I had other questions but Ive forgotten them at the moment." - That is ok, I am sure if they are important they will come up.

" Here is a short video I took downstairs after Fluffy went to bed. " - Great here is my take - First take, she looks and acts like a happy cat. She looks relaxed, happy, confident. Second - My goodness she is a sweetheart!!! Not only gorgeous but so sweet. You made a quick move above her head which she reacted to but in a normal way. And you have total trust in her which is great. This is downstairs and she looks confident, happy etc. Fantastic.

Let's just keep making those positive associations and positive encounters with Fluffy. She will trust him more at some point. I just wonder if she had some issues before you got her. The streets are tough. But Fluffy is doing great and she will eventually figure out that the rewards of being around outweigh any fear "real or imagined" he may pose. I just don't think that chase is a big a deal as you may think. Just keep doing what you are doing and just try to enjoy them rather than micromanage them. It is a fine line between doing enough to make a positive encounter and trying too hard, doing too much. Just try to enjoy it a bit, be like you are in the video. You were perfect there.
 
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Graham18

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"Thank you for all of your support. It's one of the only things helping me keep going." - You are very welcome. Thank you for all the effort you are putting in with them!! The love you have for them and your desire to have them happy is your main driver but it is nice to know I am appreciated.

"I want to try and answer your questions first before providing an update (or lack thereof)." - Great

"I'm definitely feeling more stressed post chase." - Yes :/ I can tell. :( It is normal and common though so I work with people going through those emotions all the time.

" I think the stress is stemming from just the fact that things aren't as smooth as they were prior and just general stress all around." - Understandable. I really would like for you to really think of your love you have for them. Just look in their eyes, just feel it. Hopfully the cats can be a stress reliever (love does wonderful things).

" For perspective, for work, I'm a district manager for a large Canadian clothing company, and I have nine stores to take care of and of course, it's the holiday season." - Oh my, yes, busy and stressful I would assume!! Obviously you are very successful. You are an achiever, driven. Do you demand a lot from yourself and your employees? Are you a perfectionist?

"I'm not sure if she is stressed 100% of the time, but I'd say it's pretty close." - Really? Form the videos I didn't see it BUT you are there.

" She does seem to prefer upstairs more so as her room is her space where she has her beds, toys, one of many water bowls and one of her litter boxes. She probably spends 50% of her time in there." - Ok. 50% is actually not bad. 50% of all hours or "active" hours?

" She could be a bit fearful or anxious and she feels safe her room. In her mind," - Absolutely, that is territorial security, confidence. We want that to expand. Where does she spend her time when in the downstairs area? Cat tree I know but anywhere else?

" she was just minding her own business when he went after her " - Ok

"(he was playing but she probably doesn't know that), so now she may be thinking he's going to do it again and that's why she's going there." - Yes

"I don't think it coincides with him being out more. For the most part, Fluffy is out the same amount of time he was months ago. The only difference is the morning now, but that is only about 20 minutes during the week." - Ok

IF it really is the "pounce and chase" then the more they are together and he doesn't do that the more trust it will build. If that is all it is we can definitely handle that.

"As for her growling, I think it's just because she didn't want to be petted at the time. She seemed pretty relaxed but sometimes she gets like that." - Ok, yes, some cats will do that. My oldest girl will do that to the other cats. She gets tired of grooming them or them rubbing on her etc and she growls and they know to stop it.

"There is no real update from last night. I played with Sapphire downstairs for a bit when I got home with a laser. I know lasers aren't the greatest, but it's the only thing I can almost guarantee she'll play with and I would play for a bit then give her a treat and then play some more." - Well that is great!!! I have no issue with lasers if they work. Sure they can be frustrating because they can't "kill" it BUT if they only will play with them and they eat after and they seem happy, comfortable, etc then they are fine.

"I gave her dinner downstairs instead of in her room (I had to physically put her bowl in front of her for her to eat it), and then surprisingly after she ate, " - Ok, that is fine. She ate. Positive association and if he didn't pounce on her - Positive Encounter.

"she immediately went up to her room to nap which she's never done as she usually doesn't go to nap until after Fluffy has gone to bed." - Ok that is fine. Did you play with her with the laser before this? Remember cats do like in the wild Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat, Groom, Sleep. I have no issue if she followed that.

Did she eat with Fluffy out or was he upstairs when she ate downstairs? I just read the next line.

"After I played with Fluffy for a bit in my room, I just brought him downstairs on his own for his kibble while Sapphire napped upstairs." - Great

" At one point she came downstairs and just sat at the bottom of the stairs peaking around the bannister." - Ok, this is GREAT!!!

" Fluffy was looking out the back window and didn't know she was there." - Perfect though I suspect he probably knew she was there.

" I gave her a treat and then she ran upstairs. When I went upstairs, her door was closed slightly (about 3/4 open), and she would peak her head around the door every time I came up there to see her. " - Ok. As long as it was positive (ie nothing negative) that is fine.

"Once Fluffy did come up and she hissed at him and threw a treat downstairs for him to get." - Ok. Again, if all that happens is a hiss then it is fine. It is about avoiding a negative encounter which obviously (so far) has been the case.

"A do a have a few questions as well..
1. For the video of just her, is this in her room or downstairs? I can't promise it will be interesting haha she usually does do too much other than lay there and relax." - Both but if only one downstairs. Well, if she is there relaxed that tells me something as well.

"2. Should I continue to try and feed her downstairs? It is slightly difficult as she likes to eat in her room but I could try it." - Yes, unless she just doesn't like it. Cats like routines so we want to keep everything as consistent as possible. Feed at same time, same place, same people, cats around, play at same time, etc. Routines.

"I think I had other questions but Ive forgotten them at the moment." - That is ok, I am sure if they are important they will come up.

" Here is a short video I took downstairs after Fluffy went to bed. " - Great here is my take - First take, she looks and acts like a happy cat. She looks relaxed, happy, confident. Second - My goodness she is a sweetheart!!! Not only gorgeous but so sweet. You made a quick move above her head which she reacted to but in a normal way. And you have total trust in her which is great. This is downstairs and she looks confident, happy etc. Fantastic.

Let's just keep making those positive associations and positive encounters with Fluffy. She will trust him more at some point. I just wonder if she had some issues before you got her. The streets are tough. But Fluffy is doing great and she will eventually figure out that the rewards of being around outweigh any fear "real or imagined" he may pose. I just don't think that chase is a big a deal as you may think. Just keep doing what you are doing and just try to enjoy them rather than micromanage them. It is a fine line between doing enough to make a positive encounter and trying too hard, doing too much. Just try to enjoy it a bit, be like you are in the video. You were perfect there.
Luckily I'm one of three of the district managers so it's not all on me. I am quite the perfectionist however and things going wrong tend to add extra stress on myself.

I think Sapphire spends about 50% of all hours downstairs give or take a few, and also depending on the day. For example, during the week while no one is home, I'm assuming she spends all her time up there napping, but once I'm home from work she spends a lot more time downstairs until I go up to bed at which point she goes to her room, or she sleeps on a chair in my room. She pretty much goes everywhere downstairs with the exception of Fluffy's room. She will go in there every now and then but not often. She lays on the cat tree, on the cushions, the couch, sometimes on the dining room chairs, etc. If she's not relaxing, she's usually just walking around, sitting or laying on the floor somewhere, or looking out the back window that they both like to look out of.

I also did play with her about ten minutes before she ate so she was possibly tired and that's why she wanted a nap. I'm also not entirely sure if fluffy would have known she came downstairs as the room where the back window is, is three rooms away (30 or so feet maybe), and there is no line of sight. Fluffy can also be kind of oblivious sometimes to his surroundings. I'm sure that she was wondering where he was. She almost seems curious, but also a bit nervous at the same time. That was the same sense I was getting when I would see her peaking around the door in her room.

I'm wondering if she possibly viewed him chasing her as him trying to get her out of his territory and that could be why she's quick to leave now. At least in my mind it makes sense with the territory thing. After all, she seems 100% fine when he's not there.
 

calicosrspecial

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Luckily I'm one of three of the district managers so it's not all on me. I am quite the perfectionist however and things going wrong tend to add extra stress on myself.

I think Sapphire spends about 50% of all hours downstairs give or take a few, and also depending on the day. For example, during the week while no one is home, I'm assuming she spends all her time up there napping, but once I'm home from work she spends a lot more time downstairs until I go up to bed at which point she goes to her room, or she sleeps on a chair in my room. She pretty much goes everywhere downstairs with the exception of Fluffy's room. She will go in there every now and then but not often. She lays on the cat tree, on the cushions, the couch, sometimes on the dining room chairs, etc. If she's not relaxing, she's usually just walking around, sitting or laying on the floor somewhere, or looking out the back window that they both like to look out of.

I also did play with her about ten minutes before she ate so she was possibly tired and that's why she wanted a nap. I'm also not entirely sure if fluffy would have known she came downstairs as the room where the back window is, is three rooms away (30 or so feet maybe), and there is no line of sight. Fluffy can also be kind of oblivious sometimes to his surroundings. I'm sure that she was wondering where he was. She almost seems curious, but also a bit nervous at the same time. That was the same sense I was getting when I would see her peaking around the door in her room.

I'm wondering if she possibly viewed him chasing her as him trying to get her out of his territory and that could be why she's quick to leave now. At least in my mind it makes sense with the territory thing. After all, she seems 100% fine when he's not there.
" Luckily I'm one of three of the district managers so it's not all on me." - Great.

" I am quite the perfectionist however and things going wrong tend to add extra stress on myself." - I kinda figured. Successful people are like that. Just try to accept less than perfect and let's deal with real issues.

"I think Sapphire spends about 50% of all hours downstairs give or take a few, and also depending on the day." - Well that is great, positive!!

" For example, during the week while no one is home, I'm assuming she spends all her time up there napping, but once I'm home from work she spends a lot more time downstairs until I go up to bed at which point she goes to her room, or she sleeps on a chair in my room." - That is great. Not something a stressed, unhappy cat would be doing.

" She pretty much goes everywhere downstairs with the exception of Fluffy's room." - Ok, that is fine.

"She will go in there every now and then but not often." - Ok, impressive she does go in there even once.

"She lays on the cat tree, on the cushions, the couch, sometimes on the dining room chairs, etc. If she's not relaxing, she's usually just walking around, sitting or laying on the floor somewhere, or looking out the back window that they both like to look out of." - That sounds great.

"I also did play with her about ten minutes before she ate so she was possibly tired and that's why she wanted a nap." - Ahhhhhh, well that is normal then. I am not bothered by that at all.

" I'm also not entirely sure if fluffy would have known she came downstairs as the room where the back window is, is three rooms away (30 or so feet maybe), and there is no line of sight." - Ok. That is fine, no negative encounter.

" Fluffy can also be kind of oblivious sometimes to his surroundings." - Hahahahahaha

" I'm sure that she was wondering where he was." - Yes, absolutely.

" She almost seems curious, but also a bit nervous at the same time. That was the same sense I was getting when I would see her peaking around the door in her room." - Yes, that is what it seems like. She wants to engage but just is cautious. It will happen in time. We just have to go on her schedule, not ours.

"I'm wondering if she possibly viewed him chasing her as him trying to get her out of his territory and that could be why she's quick to leave now. At least in my mind it makes sense with the territory thing." - Yes, could be. Or an attack in her past. Difficult to know. BUT I do know she will get over based on what you told me and how Fluffy views her. Sure it is not happening as fast as we would like but all the pieces are in place where they will be together.

" After all, she seems 100% fine when he's not there. " - GREAT sign

Just keep to the basics, positive association, positive encounters, build confidence. Keep up the great work!!! I am more confident than I was and I was very confident before.
 
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  • #560

Graham18

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" Luckily I'm one of three of the district managers so it's not all on me." - Great.

" I am quite the perfectionist however and things going wrong tend to add extra stress on myself." - I kinda figured. Successful people are like that. Just try to accept less than perfect and let's deal with real issues.

"I think Sapphire spends about 50% of all hours downstairs give or take a few, and also depending on the day." - Well that is great, positive!!

" For example, during the week while no one is home, I'm assuming she spends all her time up there napping, but once I'm home from work she spends a lot more time downstairs until I go up to bed at which point she goes to her room, or she sleeps on a chair in my room." - That is great. Not something a stressed, unhappy cat would be doing.

" She pretty much goes everywhere downstairs with the exception of Fluffy's room." - Ok, that is fine.

"She will go in there every now and then but not often." - Ok, impressive she does go in there even once.

"She lays on the cat tree, on the cushions, the couch, sometimes on the dining room chairs, etc. If she's not relaxing, she's usually just walking around, sitting or laying on the floor somewhere, or looking out the back window that they both like to look out of." - That sounds great.

"I also did play with her about ten minutes before she ate so she was possibly tired and that's why she wanted a nap." - Ahhhhhh, well that is normal then. I am not bothered by that at all.

" I'm also not entirely sure if fluffy would have known she came downstairs as the room where the back window is, is three rooms away (30 or so feet maybe), and there is no line of sight." - Ok. That is fine, no negative encounter.

" Fluffy can also be kind of oblivious sometimes to his surroundings." - Hahahahahaha

" I'm sure that she was wondering where he was." - Yes, absolutely.

" She almost seems curious, but also a bit nervous at the same time. That was the same sense I was getting when I would see her peaking around the door in her room." - Yes, that is what it seems like. She wants to engage but just is cautious. It will happen in time. We just have to go on her schedule, not ours.

"I'm wondering if she possibly viewed him chasing her as him trying to get her out of his territory and that could be why she's quick to leave now. At least in my mind it makes sense with the territory thing." - Yes, could be. Or an attack in her past. Difficult to know. BUT I do know she will get over based on what you told me and how Fluffy views her. Sure it is not happening as fast as we would like but all the pieces are in place where they will be together.

" After all, she seems 100% fine when he's not there. " - GREAT sign

Just keep to the basics, positive association, positive encounters, build confidence. Keep up the great work!!! I am more confident than I was and I was very confident before.
I did forget to mention, that at night I've been putting feeder mice downstairs with a few treats in each for Sapphire. They are small mice shaped feeders that are supposed to help cats "hunt" and I got them when Sapphire was younger so she could hunt for them for food at night instead of waking me up all night when she was hungry. Do you think this may help with boosting her territory?

I have no new updates. For the second night in a row Sapphire was sleeping when I brought Fluffy downstairs so there was no face to face time. From what I could tell she stayed sleeping or at least relaxing in her room until after I had gone to sleep.

I left her door open this morning when fluffy was out for breakfast. She was relaxing in her bed, but eventually I had to close the door for a few minutes just because it was becoming much too stressful to keep Fluffy occupied downstairs.

She came down shortly after he was back in his room downstairs and I took another short video of her downstairs.


Afree the video was taken she went to look out the back window that they both like to look out of. I went to give Fluffy a treat before I left for work and because he was meowing quite a bit and when I came out, she was still by the back window on the cat tree there but hunched over looking a bit unsure.
 
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