Grief and adoption

[tarasgirl06]

well, I got Bella's remains. It was not as bad as I thought. I am glad to have her home with us. A sense of closure . She belongs here , home. Thank you for all your kind words and support. What could have been a hard day, was much easier. My brothers girlfriend said " Bella's spirit will come play with Peanut" when I came home, Peanut was under my Bed ( one of Bella's favorite places ..and I have not seen Peanut there before ) I had cleaned out under there and mopped before we got Peanut, (or so I thought!) as I didn't want all the smells of Bella to scare a new kitty; didn't I find her playing with an old Bella Toy ! thought I had found them all and tossed them ! ( except for her 2 favorites .. which I keep in my dresser ) .. maybe Jill is on to something LOL ... Bella showing Peanut her old tricks ..oh, boy !

Absolutely. Don't doubt it.

 

[CindyH66]

Update: I will be meeting my friend next Friday to pick up Coal.

 

[CindyH66]

Friday is almost here !! excited ? thinking of you ( and Coal !)

 

[sylorna]

Friday is almost here !! excited ? thinking of you ( and Coal !)

I've been working all week on cleaning and purging to make the transition as safe as possible. Cleaned both cat carriers (because if im doing 1 why not 2?), and have a pile of supplies in the bedroom ready for deployment for his quarantine. I got rid of 4 large garbage bags of stuff from my daughters room alone! It really needed to be done. Tonight I tackle the pile of school supplies in the living room. It's been 12 years since we have gotten a new cat and it shows!
Excited to have him, and nervous over not knowing him and his behaviors. This process has been so long that I already feel like he's part of the family. Looking forward to bringing him home.

 

[CindyH66]

It was 13 years since we brought home a new kitty , and it was like having a new baby ! LOL .. Peanut has been here over a week now, and has settled in nicely. It was a little nerve wracking the first day or so. we fussed more than we needed to, I think. but she was fine. and, our home needed the purging/ cleaning as well ! I remember saying " sorry I didn't do this good when you were here, Bella " .and actually chuckled. Dont think she minded a bit . . I'm excited for you and hoping all goes as well for you ! we had a smooth transition here. My husband built a kitty condo / tree for peanut. Yesterday was the first she actually used it. she is still skittish and learning the ropes, but not as spooked by every little noise. I saw her sneak up on the squeaky mouse , pounce on it , bat it , and take off ! the one she was afraid of a week ago. progress ! When Bella first arrived she hid under our sons dresser for days. Wasn't long before she ruled the roost as I recall; I suspect it will be the same with little Miss Peanut. Once they feel secure, the take over LOL .. Good Luck !

 

[sylorna]

Update: my friend just sent me this:

 

[sylorna]

Picked him up yesterday. He's still hiding under the bed. Hasn't gone to the bathroom or had food since 3:30 yesterday.
His strange eyes appear to be the second lid being pulled up now and again. My friends vet wasn't concerned, but im a worry wart. I really am scared I've adopted another that that will be sick for their whole lives. Can't see them this morning because he's hiding. Hoping things will look better when he comes out.
I know it's normal but I'm sad and stressed. I managed to get him to sniff my fingers in the middle of the night when he was looking around.
Hopefully today is better.

 

[CindyH66]

aw, Sylorna ! I know its hard, but try not not to worry. a vet has seen him already, so that a good thing. If you are all stressed , the kitty will pick up on it . Peanut headed right under my recliner chair and hid when we first got her . I had no idea where she was , until I saw her little paw paw sticking out !! I was a little worried, since she had just had surgery, too ! I had to fight to overcome it. They purposely wait until you are not around to sneak out and go potty or eat. they are very stealthy ! I found pee in the littler box and some kibble eaten in the morning, but SHE was still under my chair when I got up. It takes some time for them not to be scared. I limited her to one room, and closed off all the rest. I think it made it less scary, and she had less urge to go explore. when she DID come out, she just explored around that room, and once she felt safe there. .and with US .. her little personality started to show. It has taken about a week tho ! it doesn't happen that fast. everything is scary. Give him a little time, and try not to project all the past worry onto new baby. Its natural, I know. I spent 13 years with sick Miss Bella.. but have no reason to think Peanut wont have a better run at life !! I really hope today is better for you and your new baby boy !! just FYI .. today for the first time .. I was awakened .. by Peanut 'kneading" my arm ! ..until now she has spent the nights in my husbands room ( he sleeps upright due to his stroke, cant lie flat, so has an armchair) she may come down for a minute or so, but finds my room ' scary" . last night she actually relaxed a bit , spent some time on the bed with me. first time! and I woke up to the arm action... I had to giggle. she is warming up slowly..... give him some time. we dont know all these poor little ones have really been through. they need time to acclimate. Good luck ..

 

[sylorna]

aw, Sylorna ! I know its hard, but try not not to worry. a vet has seen him already, so that a good thing. If you are all stressed , the kitty will pick up on it . Peanut headed right under my recliner chair and hid when we first got her . I had no idea where she was , until I saw her little paw paw sticking out !! I was a little worried, since she had just had surgery, too ! I had to fight to overcome it. They purposely wait until you are not around to sneak out and go potty or eat. they are very stealthy ! I found pee in the littler box and some kibble eaten in the morning, but SHE was still under my chair when I got up. It takes some time for them not to be scared. I limited her to one room, and closed off all the rest. I think it made it less scary, and she had less urge to go explore. when she DID come out, she just explored around that room, and once she felt safe there. .and with US .. her little personality started to show. It has taken about a week tho ! it doesn't happen that fast. everything is scary. Give him a little time, and try not to project all the past worry onto new baby. Its natural, I know. I spent 13 years with sick Miss Bella.. but have no reason to think Peanut wont have a better run at life !! I really hope today is better for you and your new baby boy !! just FYI .. today for the first time .. I was awakened .. by Peanut 'kneading" my arm ! ..until now she has spent the nights in my husbands room ( he sleeps upright due to his stroke, cant lie flat, so has an armchair) she may come down for a minute or so, but finds my room ' scary" . last night she actually relaxed a bit , spent some time on the bed with me. first time! and I woke up to the arm action... I had to giggle. she is warming up slowly..... give him some time. we dont know all these poor little ones have really been through. they need time to acclimate. Good luck ..

Thanks!
We are letting him be on his own for the day in there in hopes that he decides to come out and eat.
This is hard on him. Yesterday he was in a carrier for 4 hours. The smells, sounds and space are all different. He has never been in a regular home (apartment). He went from a hoarding home to the shelter which is a converted shed. All of it is new.
My goal for him today is to eat and pee a bit. I sure hope he does.
I called and signed him up for pet insurance this morning to help with my anxiety.
It will be fine. I'm sure.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Great post, CindyH66 *And best thoughts and Prayers for your husband's health and wellbeing*
Yes, sylorna he has just been through a very major experience and it's pretty natural for him to want some time to himself to feel better and regroup. Just like a person after an operation in a terrible hospital environment, he is unsure and may not be feeling great. His nictitating membranes ("haws" or third eyelid) are not to worry about unless they stay up. Give him a little time. Observe him. He should be back up and feeling a lot better in a day or two.

 

[sylorna]

Great post, CindyH66 *And best thoughts and Prayers for your husband's health and wellbeing*
Yes, sylorna he has just been through a very major experience and it's pretty natural for him to want some time to himself to feel better and regroup. Just like a person after an operation in a terrible hospital environment, he is unsure and may not be feeling great. His nictitating membranes ("haws" or third eyelid) are not to worry about unless they stay up. Give him a little time. Observe him. He should be back up and feeling a lot better in a day or two.

I know...just a worry wart.
The membranes apparently come and go and sometimes block his side vision (they think). I'll be happy once he's calmer and eating some healthier food, etc. At least I know the eyes are not an urgent problem, since it's not new. He's definitely inbred so I'm guessing it's just a genetic glitch.
My friend couldn't tell me what colour his eyes are and he/the carrier is so dark that I couldn't see them. I'm super curious!
Deep breaths and time out of the house today! Send him some self care vibes.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I know...just a worry wart.
The membranes apparently come and go and sometimes block his side vision (they think). I'll be happy once he's calmer and eating some healthier food, etc. At least I know the eyes are not an urgent problem, since it's not new. He's definitely inbred so I'm guessing it's just a genetic glitch.
My friend couldn't tell me what colour his eyes are and he/the carrier is so dark that I couldn't see them. I'm super curious!
Deep breaths and time out of the house today! Send him some self care vibes.

Ah. Yes, some cats do have permanent eye conditions -- I thought you were saying they came up in relation to his having just seen his doctor. *Prayers* for him, and best thoughts of wellbeing and wellness!

 

[CindyH66]

Sylorna... glad to hear you sound a bit calmer . Yay ! I called the 24 hr vet thing as well. My vet cant get us in for the first visit until the 21 st .. they are booked up until Sept. ( emergencies are exceptions; if I have one, I can go right in ) so, I was concerned about the whole diet/ lactating thing. that does help to call them pick their professional brains ! ahh.. deep breaths for us new (again)moms !
tarasgirl06 .. you are a wealth of information as well ! and I thank you for prayers for my hubby; His stroke was 3 years ago. He is disabled ( whole Left. side affected ) . Can no longer drive / work and has serious memory loss. Still, he could be much, much worse. He can eat, talk, pretty much care for himself at home. We are grateful he is as good as he is. Being a nurse, and I have cared for stroke patients in the past who ended up far worse.. I am thankful beyond measure !

 

[sylorna]

So its been a tough few days, but Coal is home and settling in. I have had a few major panic attacks and am continuing to fight with my anxiety disorder over him. His eyes are strange, but the vet took a look at pictures and said not to worry about it (as did the shelter vet) given that he is inbred and his eyes don't bother him. I'll explore it with the vet in more detail once his insurance kicks in or if he has any problems between then and now. His pees are very small but so is he. They look like he is trying to write his name in the litter, but he doesn't pee often and is otherwise acting like a normal cat so I'm thinking not a infection or something like that? I seem to be worried about every little thing....as I always do.
Meanwhile he is skittery but when he comes out he is the most loving and sweet boy I've ever met. He loves to snuggle and be pet (once we talk him into it). He loves belly and face rubs, loud toys and cat nip. He's keeping me up at night meowing and playing but won't come and get pet because my calling him scares him. He's eating and drinking ok finally! Went for 25 hours without food, water or using the litter. We are keeping him quarantined for a few more days, mostly because he hides so easily and is impossible to find (black cat, dark brown eyes). Looking forward to introducing him to Yuki on Friday. I think they will like each other. Not looking forward to supervising a young cat who likes to climb and doing more cat proofing! Lol!
He came from a hoarding home and then to the shelter. We are his first real home and he is doing remarkably well considering. My husband and daughter are already in love. He and I are still getting to know each other, and to trust each other. I think we will be an excellent pair though.
He is absolutely the tiniest boy I've ever met, especially given that he was at least a year when neutered. Looks like an Itty bitty panther.

 

[sylorna]

Good morning!
Just excited because Coal let me pet him this morning and he played with my hand a bit instead of just howling in the dark. Almost got him on the bed (which he will do before bed, but not at night yet).
I'm going to open a name thread elsewhere if anyone is interested!

 

[tarasgirl06]

So its been a tough few days, but Coal is home and settling in. I have had a few major panic attacks and am continuing to fight with my anxiety disorder over him. His eyes are strange, but the vet took a look at pictures and said not to worry about it (as did the shelter vet) given that he is inbred and his eyes don't bother him. I'll explore it with the vet in more detail once his insurance kicks in or if he has any problems between then and now. His pees are very small but so is he. They look like he is trying to write his name in the litter, but he doesn't pee often and is otherwise acting like a normal cat so I'm thinking not a infection or something like that? I seem to be worried about every little thing....as I always do.
Meanwhile he is skittery but when he comes out he is the most loving and sweet boy I've ever met. He loves to snuggle and be pet (once we talk him into it). He loves belly and face rubs, loud toys and cat nip. He's keeping me up at night meowing and playing but won't come and get pet because my calling him scares him. He's eating and drinking ok finally! Went for 25 hours without food, water or using the litter. We are keeping him quarantined for a few more days, mostly because he hides so easily and is impossible to find (black cat, dark brown eyes). Looking forward to introducing him to Yuki on Friday. I think they will like each other. Not looking forward to supervising a young cat who likes to climb and doing more cat proofing! Lol!
He came from a hoarding home and then to the shelter. We are his first real home and he is doing remarkably well considering. My husband and daughter are already in love. He and I are still getting to know each other, and to trust each other. I think we will be an excellent pair though.
He is absolutely the tiniest boy I've ever met, especially given that he was at least a year when neutered. Looks like an Itty bitty panther.

Does Coal have a cat fountain? We have the basic Drinkwell cat fountain and there is definitely more water consumption now! I also keep three other stationary water bowls cleaned and filled around the house for them.
Coal is ADORABLE!

 

[sylorna]

Does Coal have a cat fountain? We have the basic Drinkwell cat fountain and there is definitely more water consumption now! I also keep three other stationary water bowls cleaned and filled around the house for them.
Coal is ADORABLE!

We have a large one in the main part of the apartment, but not in the bedroom. I'm making sure to clean it daily though. Considering getting a smaller one tbh. The one I have is for dogs, and I bought it when I had one cat with kidney issues and another with bladder issues. Yuki and Coal are so small we don't need a giant monster one anymore.
Wondering if the pee is stress from the change and once he relaxes he will do better. Keeping a close eye out for changes to be sure.

 

[tarasgirl06]

We have a large one in the main part of the apartment, but not in the bedroom. I'm making sure to clean it daily though. Considering getting a smaller one tbh. The one I have is for dogs, and I bought it when I had one cat with kidney issues and another with bladder issues. Yuki and Coal are so small we don't need a giant monster one anymore.
Wondering if the pee is stress from the change and once he relaxes he will do better. Keeping a close eye out for changes to be sure.

It would be great if Yuki and Coal could have a separate fountain away from the dogs. Yes, do keep monitoring!

 

[sylorna]

It would be great if Yuki and Coal could have a separate fountain away from the dogs. Yes, do keep monitoring!

Oh! No we don't have dogs, but rather the foundation is dog sized. Sorry for the mix up.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Oh! No we don't have dogs, but rather the foundation is dog sized. Sorry for the mix up.

SO GLAD to hear that!!!