Have you done TNR with the ferals?And I need ideas again as usual about what to do with Mom yelling about me feeding them. It's always the same with her. Nothing changes.
Oh and last time I bought something for my MOm I was kicked out of the house for 2 days (in the cold) because she refuses to believe anyone would send me a gift card. I have to walk on eggshells around her.Were the cats in house cats and then let out?
I should go back to read the thread but it is 25 pages and just sadly don't have the time now. When I have time I will though. I do know you are in good hands with the posters on the thread to this point.
Good for you for putting the cats first.
Using the gift card for wet food might be a good idea. Or maybe something for your om to make life a bit better? You will do the best thing. Your heart is in the right place.
I am really sorry to hear that. Sadly a lot of times people take things out on others because of their own issues. As long as you know that you did the right thing and tried your best I would just try to understand (even though it is really difficult to) that her unhappiness is being redirected towards you. Sometimes we (people) take things out on the people we love because we know they will still love us. It isn't right but it happens all the time. And I am guessing the early dementia is exacerbating things as well but I am no expert. Given the fact you are capable of loving the cats tells me that your heart (and mind) is in a good place. All we can do is control ourselves and try to handle negativity the best we can.Oh and last time I bought something for my MOm I was kicked out of the house for 2 days (in the cold) because she refuses to believe anyone would send me a gift card. I have to walk on eggshells around her.
I am so sorry. When certain issues start coming up with age it can make things really difficult. I understand more about the background. I can understand how challenging this is. I am sorry that she is not only battling early dementia but also is doing what many older people tend to do (use things to control family etc). Sadly, it happens more than we think. All you can do is your best.
Sadly, the "kicking to the curb" of cats happens way too often. The fact you are doing things to make their lives better is incredibly admirable. Again, all you can do is your best under the circumstances. I do the exact thing you do. Try to take care of ferals, etc. It is frustrating, difficult, sad but also rewarding. I have learned to just try my best, do as much as I possibly can, and keep moving forward. I have shed more tears than I care to say, I have questioned, argued, etc. I have lost too many ferals to tell without breaking down. Wildlife is cruel and at times beautiful. There is no perfect. It isn't easy but our efforts do make the lives of these cats better. It isn't fair how the cats get there, how they have to live etc. But we can only do our best. If we make a cat's life better for a month we made a difference. I guess all we can do is make their lives better for as long as we can.
I am so glad they are neutered and spayed. That is the best first step.
Your mom comes from a different era than many of us. Life was harder when she grew up. Their parents could be more difficult. And of course, older people know and often fear what is coming. People do things out of fear etc so sometimes trying to figure out why is difficult. I have seen this before (luckily not with me) but with someone else. And though no situation is the same they often rhyme. Just try to explain and do your best, always respect (even when it feels impossible). She may not accept it but at least you try.
It sounds like you are doing your best under difficult circumstances. And you have done some great things with your cats. Hang in there.
Just now I was thrown out of the house. She opened my bank statement by mistake and noticed that I was depositing money from place I work and screamed throwing things "Only B****es work past 55 years of age. I told you about this before. Get out of here. You're a disappointment to the family and always an embarrassment." I'm at the library now
Great job on making those purchases.Ok I got three self warming blankets/pads, 2 more cat tents (as they like to lounge in the tents during the warmer daylight and I may start feeding them in there to keep peace); some Styrofoam sheets and some food and water bowls. I do plan on picking up some of those hand warmer things at the store to place in Styrofoam bowls to place under the water bowls (night time only) as I can run outside to change their water for them. But of course cats being cats they'll still do what they want. I had a nice toasty shelter for them the other night when it dropped to 13 degrees and 0 degree windchill and Cooper decided he liked laying on the icy cold snow instead. Like someone told me you can lead a cat to the shelter but you can't make them take warmth Since they refuse to use the shelters I'll use them to put the food and water bowls in so they start associating the shelters with something good. And I know the shelters are feral approved as my local feral society donated them to me. Cats will be cats I suppose.
I am so sorry. I can say most of us believe working is great and rewarding and something we should be proud of and saving money is even better and what is even better is you focusing on the cats with your money and not "wasting' it. Judging by what I know of you so far you are definitely not an embarrassment or a disappointment. Just know the truth. I know it is very hard but just try your best and just know the truth. I don;t know if it is happening in your situation but some people like to try to control others with money or other things. It is something that comes from a weakness or a perception of inadequacy etc. Understand that maybe the problem is with her and not you and that if you can help her understand or deal with why she acts this way it could help make her life better. I wish I had better advice or an answer but you mentioned you love her so just make sure she knows you love her and try your best to make her happy. I hope the situation gets better for you.Hang in there and try to understand and then help her the best you can. We all can be hard on our kids at times and often it is because of something other than our kids. We still love them but we say and do things that are not consistent with our love.Just now I was thrown out of the house. She opened my bank statement by mistake and noticed that I was depositing money from place I work and screamed throwing things "Only B****es work past 55 years of age. I told you about this before. Get out of here. You're a disappointment to the family and always an embarrassment." I'm at the library now