Extremely Skittish Cat

[1 bruce 1]

I think you're right. I was getting pretty freaked out at the thought of not being able to help her if she was sick or hurt - I genuinely wouldn't put a cat on medication just because she wasn't cuddly! But I'm realizing that I'm borrowing trouble before I need to, and I can cross that bridge if it comes to that. Right now she's doing fine.

I do talk to her a lot, but generally not for praise or just randomly - more to get her used to my voice (I read to her a lot in the first few weeks I had her) and because it's funny to pretend to have conversations with my cat. Uhhh... I'm not crazy, I promise! lol. We're definitely doing the blinking and I 'check in' with her whenever I can - sitting at a safe distance away of course!

Trying to touch her on Sunday was actually the first time I've done that since I got her, and I've learned my lesson that this will all happen on her timeline, not mine! The closest I've gotten is giving her treats - she 'allows' my hand to get quite close when she's in the window (I'm stretching my arm from the bed, so she feels secure that I can't get her easily), and I put treats on the edge of the bed not too far from her tonight and only got one hiss that I was too close. (With her, one hiss is the equivalent of a mild side-eye on the subway.) Which is a lot closer than I'd have gotten a month ago without her fleeing!

(If your username is a Sweet Valley High reference, you are great!)

I had a very odd foster dog once. It took weeks for me to get near him, and literally month for me to get him comfortable with eating out of my hand.
I'm right handed, so I used my right hand. Then I thought of the old horseman's way of making sure you do everything with symmetry so I used my left hand. The dog approached my hand, froze, turned his head, lifted his lip and growled and ran off.
The band on my left ring finger is what I am assuming upset him. It is sometimes bright and throws light off, and for whatever reason he hated it.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Also, the Sweet valley thing isn't 100% off the mark!
Years ago we had some 9-12 year old kids hanging out around here a lot, and they were obsessed with that TV show. They started referring to me as "1 Bruce 1" and it's always kind of stuck. I thought it was kind of funny, but I'm not brave enough to relive those days, so I take their word for it.

 

[Furballsmom]

(With her, one hiss is the equivalent of a mild side-eye on the subway.)

Which is a lot closer than I'd have gotten a month ago without her fleeing!

 

[apparatchic]

Also, the Sweet valley thing isn't 100% off the mark!
Years ago we had some 9-12 year old kids hanging out around here a lot, and they were obsessed with that TV show. They started referring to me as "1 Bruce 1" and it's always kind of stuck. I thought it was kind of funny, but I'm not brave enough to relive those days, so I take their word for it.

lol- this is amazing! I don't remember a lot about the series but I will NEVER forget the character whose license plate was 1BRUCE1

Animals are really funny - Rosa this evening is just curled up at the foot of my bed and looks at me all wide-eyed every time I come to stand in the doorway and check on her, but as soon as she realizes I'm not going to do THE THING again, she gives me a nice little blink and relaxes again. I can't imagine who could have brought this fluffy baby back to the rescue in the first place - she's so cute and funny when she's not scared, and it's not her fault that she doesn't trust very easily.

 

[Furballsmom]

she gives me a nice little blink and relaxes again.

This is such a HUGE thing.

I think you two are made for each other, I really do.

 

[apparatchic]

This is such a HUGE thing.

I think you two are made for each other, I really do.

She's stuck with me for life now!!!

 

[1 bruce 1]

lol- this is amazing! I don't remember a lot about the series but I will NEVER forget the character whose license plate was 1BRUCE1

Animals are really funny - Rosa this evening is just curled up at the foot of my bed and looks at me all wide-eyed every time I come to stand in the doorway and check on her, but as soon as she realizes I'm not going to do THE THING again, she gives me a nice little blink and relaxes again. I can't imagine who could have brought this fluffy baby back to the rescue in the first place - she's so cute and funny when she's not scared, and it's not her fault that she doesn't trust very easily.

From what I heard/saw/remember, the Bruce there was a young, handsome guy with tons of money and drove a nice car.
Then here I sit, an old ugly mug that's not rich and drives a beat up pick up.
But hey, I think it's flattering. And kind of hilarious that's it's stuck all these years later, hence the screen name!

Someone might have adopted her thinking she was a cute, fluffy kitten and wasn't able to deal with her shyness.
The dog I spoke of I have no idea what his problem was, but it was who he was and it took "time" with a capital "T". The home he's in is perfect for him, and it was a picky process on our part to find the "right" home for him.
8 weeks sounds like a lot of time, and virtually any kitten adjusts during this, but depending on her history (that we don't know 100%) she may be just shy by nature or something might have happened to scare her badly.
Either way I think you're doing just fine.

 

[rubysmama]

About touching her, one suggestion I've seen for getting feral cats used to being touched, is to touch/scratch them with a back scratcher, or something else with a long handle. So that's something you might want to consider.

I'm going to tag Jcatbird so she can read this thread, and possibly make some suggestions, although really I do think you're making pretty good progress.

Jcatbird is a cat rescuer who has an amazing skill for earning feral cats trust. She has her own thread, if you want to check it out. It's long, but she posts uplifting daily updates, with pictures that will melt your heart.
My Feral And Rescued Cats

 

[Jcatbird]

Hey! I just read your thread. You are really off to a very good start. This kitty was already rejected once by being returned. That is something I have found is a big set back for them but time will bring kitty back to trusting.
I am short on time right this minute but wanted to respond to you right away. You are getting great advice here. I would not resort to medication if st all possible. If a vet visit is needed, then maybe but let’s try other things first.
You can do this. I would write out all this info for you but for now I am going to quote a post that I’m life’s s video that pretty much covers the process it took me years of practice to learn. Another person @shadowsrescue had posted it and I think it rocks! The methods we use are basically identical. The video too. I hope it copies through on the quote. If not then hopefully tagging them will get you the info. I encourage you to use these methods! They work for cats and kittens.

Thank you rubysmama for the heads up and kind words. Maybe this will help.

Please let me know how things go. Hang in there. That is s beautiful cat and you are doing a fantastic thing by rescuing this kitty. I am putting your thread in my watch!


Go to the video link at the bottom of the quote and click to watch. Great stuff!

Thank you for rescuing this kitty and wanting to make a really good home for him.
The very first step in cat ownership is a vet visit. You want to be sure he is healthy, free of cat diseases (FIV and FELV), vaccines and most importantly neutered. He will be a much better behaved and easier to socialize once neutered. Please make a vet visit soon. Most vet visits set a kitty back for a few days so better to do it sooner than later.

I would set up a room of his own. Having free roam of a house is too much too soon. A quiet space where he feels safe is ideal. I like to use a spare room that is kitty proofed. This can be a spare room with a bed either flat on the floor or removed. You don't want the kitty hiding under the bed as it's nearly impossible to get them out.

Have hiding spaces that are safe. A cat tree with a hiding box is one idea or a small kitty cabana. You want him out in the open as much as possible as it makes socializing much easier.

Food is your friend. I love to use Gerber stage 2 baby food in turkey flavor.e It's in a small glass jar with a blue label. No added sugar or spices just turkey, water and modified food starch. Cats love it. It's about $1 per jar.

Tough Love Video - UrbanCatLeague

 

[duncanmac]

apparatchic - You're doing fine with your girl. She's comfortable enough to sleep around you and let you get somewhat close. Does she follow you around the house? Not necessarily follow right after you, but end up in the same room as you after a bit? That's another good and trusting sign.

Hissing: I always felt that hissing was more of a defensive action - like "leave me alone." If she is hissing at you as you approach, figure out how far away that is and stop and try to get her comfortable (this is Jackson Galaxy's "challenge line"). How to get her comfortable will depend on the cat. Food worked for my shy guy to draw him towards me and later play as he relaxed more. It could be sweet talk and blinks.

Feral/semi-feral cats take time to adjust to people, and sometimes it is only one person. We unknowingly adopted a TNR cat. He was in the shelter booth at a local pet shop for about 6 months and was maybe 8 months old when we got him. It took about 18 months for our Barry to go from this:

first night.jpg

• duncanmac
• Mar 19, 2017
• 1

to this

Barry Chilling in Doorway

• duncanmac
• Sep 12, 2018

It is now even better - he is climbing onto the love seat next to our couch and will stay there for pets if I move over and he is really seeking out attention and affection.

Just give your girl time and she should come to trust you.

 

[apparatchic]

Jcatbird Thank you so so much! I'm honestly feeling much more secure and comfortable knowing that Rosa is in good kitty cat company with these behaviours and that I'm not doing anything dramatically wrong with her. Thank you for the info and the video, I'm checking it out right away!

D duncanmac Barry looks like such a sweet boy - so glad he's learned to trust and love you. I agree with you on hissing, it has never ever seemed aggressive when Rosa does it - it's more defensive, like, "EXCUSE you, that was a boundary and you are walking right over it". I'm glad I've mostly (with that one exception) listened to her when she did it. Rosa's not following me from room to room yet but we do have really good slow blink sessions so I'm hopeful we'll get there soon

Slow progress update: Rosa came out from the window WAY earlier than usual tonight - I brought her dinner (mild hissing because she wasn't in her preferred position in the window when I brought it into the room, but nothing serious) and went to get changed after work, and she came right out onto the bed and let me walk by (slowly and carefully) to leave my bedroom without moving back to the window. So proud of her! She's usually okay to let me cross the room into the bathroom, but she's less sure about staying put while I go back out.

I'm still trying to 'catify' my house for her; I think she's one of those cats who likes vertical space and I just don't have much so it's a work in progress! Her cat tree has a condo and I cut some exits into a large moving box yesterday to give her some more shelter and hiding space in the living room.

Going to pick up some of this baby food soon! Hopefully I can find something she REALLY likes; my current rotation of treats just isn't enough to get her to come closer at all.

 

[Jcatbird]

You’re doing great. The video will just show you how good your instincts are, along with some excellent information. I have every confindence that you will get Rosa to understand that she is safe now.
I wish everyone had your caring, patience and good instincts. You are especially talented and Rosa knows it. She’ll accept you more as time passes and one day you will be posting about her sitting next to you and purring.

 

[apparatchic]

I can't wait to be able to say that I earned this sweet girl's trust.

She is currently sitting IN THE LIVING ROOM grooming herself quite vigorously

 

[rubysmama]

I'm still trying to 'catify' my house for her; I think she's one of those cats who likes vertical space and I just don't have much so it's a work in progress! Her cat tree has a condo and I cut some exits into a large moving box yesterday to give her some more shelter and hiding space in the living room.

Here's a TCS article that might have some tips for you:
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)

 

[apparatchic]

rubysmama What a great resource! I'll be looking into more cat shelves. Has anyone used those window seats that stick to windows with suction cups? I'm a little dubious of their safety.

Rosa has been SO brave in the last day!!! She was out and exploring last night and sitting on the bed when she wasn't doing that. This morning she sat on her cat tree in the living room while I did my makeup and didn't flee when I got my shoes on and left the house. Normally she'd seek her safe space while I'm moving around. She also came and sat on the arm of the couch (not the one next to me, the further one) while I was drinking my coffee this morning!!! I'm so proud of that baby girl.

 

[Etarre]

I just discovered this thread, and wanted to agree with everyone else who has thanked you for taking in a beautiful cat who isn't immediately able to be friendly and cuddly with strange humans. I have a soft spot for the shy kitties, and have had two.

It sounds like you're making amazing progress. I found that Juniper, who has now been with us for about 9 months (adopted at 8 months old) and took several months to feel at all comfortable, would make progress in leaps and bounds after several weeks of stasis. Don't those breakthroughs feel amazing, though?

When Juniper was still very unsure about being petted or approached by us, even in her safe spaces like her cat tree, she nevertheless took a chance one night and hopped up on the bed while we were asleep. She only stayed for about 10 seconds that first time, but it became a habit, and about a week later, she cuddled into my armpit for a full minute or so before skedaddling. I felt encouraged that the desire to connect was there, and she was working just as hard on being brave as we were on being non-threatening.

Once you get to know your cat a little better, you'll figure out a way in with her. Food has never, ever worked for me with my cats. But Gwen, my first cat, loved being brushed, and we used that to make her into a devoted lap cat. With Juniper, it's definitely her curiosity-- she wants to see and know everything, and this will help her overcome her skittishness.

Don't give up on the toys and playing, either. When she seems more confident in leaving her safe spaces, she may be more ready to play. The cat dancer has also been a big favorite with our cats, and a laser pointer will allow you to play with her from a distance.

Since you said she likes TV, you might want to try the cat video channel on YouTube, too.

 

[duncanmac]

Rosa has been SO brave in the last day!!! She was out and exploring last night and sitting on the bed when she wasn't doing that. This morning she sat on her cat tree in the living room while I did my makeup and didn't flee when I got my shoes on and left the house. Normally she'd seek her safe space while I'm moving around. She also came and sat on the arm of the couch (not the one next to me, the further one) while I was drinking my coffee this morning!!! I'm so proud of that baby girl.

These might seem like small steps, but its really a big deal. Try mostly ignoring her and not trying to pet her until her confidence is up a little more and then see what happens. Try not to swoop in over her - wait until she is on the couch with you and just reach out and wiggle your fingers a bit (or try a treat)

 

[apparatchic]

Thank you so so much Etarre - it's great to know that you've had good experiences with your shy cats! I agree, the breakthroughs feel great - Rosa didn't flee to her window when I got home tonight and stayed in her cat tree and then in the living room until she wanted to go nap on the bed, and it feels so good to know she's feeling more comfy, especially after I alarmed her (and me lol) so much trying to touch her on Sunday! Juniper sounds adorable and I'm so so glad she's come so far.

D duncanmac Thank you, it is SO good to know that these are positive signs - as a first-time cat mom, adopting Rosa has been a bit overwhelming because I don't have a sense of what progress will look like with a super-shy cat. I've just been letting her sit on the arm of the couch and not looking at her too much or talking to her too much so that she feels like it's safe - hopefully one day she'll realize how comfy it would be to actually nap on the couch next to me!

I was so worried we'd lost all our progress last week, but she's doing great this week and I'm super proud of her! I'm also going to keep a closer eye on the Feliway diffuser levels because it seems to make a HUGE difference in how comfy she feels. (Which actually is great to know, because I had it pre-emptively when she got here and wasn't sure it helped!) Tonight she let me put treats on the bed for her and didn't hiss AT ALL!!! Not even one teeny little hiss! Since she was on the bed when I tried to touch her, I'm SO glad she's letting me give it some more positive memories.

 

[duncanmac]

Thank you so so much D duncanmac Thank you, it is SO good to know that these are positive signs - as a first-time cat mom, adopting Rosa has been a bit overwhelming because I don't have a sense of what progress will look like with a super-shy cat. I've just been letting her sit on the arm of the couch and not looking at her too much or talking to her too much so that she feels like it's safe - hopefully one day she'll realize how comfy it would be to actually nap on the couch next to me!

Personally, I would be talking to her a lot so that she gets used to your voice. Use your normal voice or maybe a little sing-song-ish like your talking to a baby. This way she won't jump or startle when you do talk.

Pick a phrase to praise her with - "good girl" works - and use it every time she does something you like, even if it is just not running away when you shift on the couch. I use "good boy" as "Yes" "it's okay" and "good boy" about a thousand times a day to encourage good behaviour.

Next time she is on the arm of the couch - put a pile of treats between her and you and then kind of ignore her. If she goes for them, tell her good girl, blink at her and then leave her alone and see where she settles.

 

[apparatchic]

Personally, I would be talking to her a lot so that she gets used to your voice. Use your normal voice or maybe a little sing-song-ish like your talking to a baby. This way she won't jump or startle when you do talk.

Pick a phrase to praise her with - "good girl" works - and use it every time she does something you like, even if it is just not running away when you shift on the couch. I use "good boy" as "Yes" "it's okay" and "good boy" about a thousand times a day to encourage good behaviour.

Next time she is on the arm of the couch - put a pile of treats between her and you and then kind of ignore her. If she goes for them, tell her good girl, blink at her and then leave her alone and see where she settles.

Oh, I talk to her all the time, just not precisely when she's jumped up on the arm of the couch! Otherwise I spend an embarrassing amount of time talking to her, getting her used to my voice (in sing-song baby talk mostly). But I will definitely try the treats on the couch!