Extremely Skittish Cat

[apparatchic]

Welcome to cats! They are each so different from one another, yet remarkably the same. One thing I wouldn't do - and it is up to you - is leave food out. My cats eat twice a day - when I wake up and when I get home from work. Cats in the wild do not have food available to them at all times. Anyone I know who has a "chubby" cat is someone who leaves food out. Trust me - they don't need it! My cats are all a nice size with no big, sagging bellies! Another thing - and again, up to you - dry food is for owner convenience only. It was never made to be a nutrient rich food source. They get dry skin, flakes, and dull coats. There are many articles about it. I feed only high quality canned - if I didn't have so many cats I would make my own! When I had only three, I made my own, and let me tell you - they were in top health and their coats were incredible! The better the food quality, the less you will see the vet! True! The last time I called for something, and I don't even remember what it was, the receptionist said "...we haven't seen you for a while!" That's a good thing, right? One of the cats I made my own food for was a "hider". She just about lived in the basement. After a while of eating super nutritious food, she came out - socialized - was happy - bloomed just like a flower! I was amazed. A friend of mine makes his own food. He has only three - invested in a top quality grinder - throws in whole chicken breasts, thighs, etc. The cats get calcium from the ground up bones - just as if they were in the wild. I never hear him talk of problems or vet visits. A little research will show you many home-made recipes. I truly believe that many problems can be solved by changing the diet to the one most closely resembling what they would get in the wild. They are little tigers you know! There are also a world of books - one that is really worth the money is "The Natural Cat" by Anitra Frazier. I have rambled on too long - you are doing a great job - just fine tune it, and she will come around!

Honestly, right now all I'm trying to do is get the cat eating. She does get chicken along with her dry food, but she won't touch wet food right now (she won't even eat tuna) and the relationship is fragile enough that I don't want to mess with her routine until, you know, I can actually touch her without a major freakout.

I'm working on it, but she's a tough cookie! She finally ate some treats tonight and I'm thrilled because I was worried she was having a serious medication side effect.

 

[rubysmama]

One step forward, two steps back, right.

Right now, getting her to eat something is definitely your top priority. So glad she ate some treats. Give her more, if that's all she'll eat. Just to ensure she gets enough calories.

Can't remember if I posted this before, but here's an article on How To Help An Abused Cat Recover that may have some tips for you.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Because the weather has been so dang hot this year (Today is going to be in the 80's and muggy, in Oct for crying out loud!) we just have A/C window units and we don't leave them running while we are gone, I crumbled two Temptation treats between my finger and sprinkled over Gypsys wet so she would finish it before we left for work. I went through many, many different brands of wet before she decided on Fancy Feast gravy lovers. She gets small amts of wet several times a day and since she doesn't overeat we free feed Purina One hairball formula. You are doing a fantastic job. I know Temptation treats aren't healthy but most cats will do ANYTHING for them so in moderation you might try them to lure and reward her. Keep us updated and post lots of photos. Check out some of Jackson Galaxys videos on YouTube, he is very inspiring.

 

[apparatchic]

rubysmama She's eating!!! She ate about half of what I left in the kitchen overnight and ate her breakfast this morning. Not tons, but that's probably better for her on an empty stomach anyway, and I know she tends to graze on her meals throughout the day anyway.

dustydiamond1 She gets Temptations treats and likes them! I still haven't found the treat she goes crazy for though - if that even exists. I will eventually embark on the adventure of switching her meals to wet food and giving her dry food to graze on, but we had such a tough transition to her current dry food (because she was sensitive to the first one I chose, so she spent several weeks on a diet of poached chicken, and still gets some of that sprinkled on top of her dry food meals now that her new food doesn't upset her tummy) that I'm hesitant to change things up for a while. She drinks plenty of water, so I'm not SUPER worried about the dry food right now!

She clearly had a ball last night - there is fur ALL over everything I freshly vacuumed, lol! I'm just really happy for her to reclaim the rest of the apartment. We'll get back to prowling around while I'm in the living room eventually!

Not trying to pick her up or touch her today. She deserves a day off, and it's Thanksgiving, so I'll be out for the evening and she can just sleep in her cat tree comfortably.

 

[dustydiamond1]

rubysmama She's eating!!! She ate about half of what I left in the kitchen overnight and ate her breakfast this morning. Not tons, but that's probably better for her on an empty stomach anyway, and I know she tends to graze on her meals throughout the day anyway.

dustydiamond1 She gets Temptations treats and likes them! I still haven't found the treat she goes crazy for though - if that even exists. I will eventually embark on the adventure of switching her meals to wet food and giving her dry food to graze on, but we had such a tough transition to her current dry food (because she was sensitive to the first one I chose, so she spent several weeks on a diet of poached chicken, and still gets some of that sprinkled on top of her dry food meals now that her new food doesn't upset her tummy) that I'm hesitant to change things up for a while. She drinks plenty of water, so I'm not SUPER worried about the dry food right now!

She clearly had a ball last night - there is fur ALL over everything I freshly vacuumed, lol! I'm just really happy for her to reclaim the rest of the apartment. We'll get back to prowling around while I'm in the living room eventually!

Not trying to pick her up or touch her today. She deserves a day off, and it's Thanksgiving, so I'll be out for the evening and she can just sleep in her cat tree comfortably.

Happy Thanksgiving

 

[rubysmama]

rubysmama She's eating!!! She ate about half of what I left in the kitchen overnight and ate her breakfast this morning. Not tons, but that's probably better for her on an empty stomach anyway, and I know she tends to graze on her meals throughout the day anyway.

Excellent news!

 

[apparatchic]

Another update: We're in a regression phase. (It's also been a lot warmer here the last couple of days.) She doesn't come out of her window until I'm in bed, although she does seem more relaxed and comfy when I go talk to her while she's in there. Here's a picture from yesterday:

Which is now the lock screen of my phone.

I might try to touch her again tonight. I'm nervous to, but she seems to be having some loose poops - it's probably just a side effect from the Bravecto plus not eating for a couple of days (she's fine and eating lots now!) but it makes me worried about her health. I still feel so guilty that she had fleas and I want to check a little patch above her eye that she seems to have over-groomed or scratched (probably due to the fleas). So I might break out the big vacuum again tonight, get her behind the bathtub, and see if I can do it this time.

Speaking of the fleas, I think they're mostly gone, and Rosa definitely seems less itchy. I usually find 2-3 when I sit down on the couch (where I first discovered them) but I've been keeping up with the dust-buster on all of Rosa's places and the floor surrounding them. It's frustrating not to have them totally gone but hopefully they'll just fade away. I'm definitely having an allergic reaction to the bites now and feel pretty ill (as well as itchy) but I'm just glad I caught it before it got worse.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Another update: We're in a regression phase. (It's also been a lot warmer here the last couple of days.) She doesn't come out of her window until I'm in bed, although she does seem more relaxed and comfy when I go talk to her while she's in there. Here's a picture from yesterday:

Which is now the lock screen of my phone.

I might try to touch her again tonight. I'm nervous to, but she seems to be having some loose poops - it's probably just a side effect from the Bravecto plus not eating for a couple of days (she's fine and eating lots now!) but it makes me worried about her health. I still feel so guilty that she had fleas and I want to check a little patch above her eye that she seems to have over-groomed or scratched (probably due to the fleas). So I might break out the big vacuum again tonight, get her behind the bathtub, and see if I can do it this time.

Speaking of the fleas, I think they're mostly gone, and Rosa definitely seems less itchy. I usually find 2-3 when I sit down on the couch (where I first discovered them) but I've been keeping up with the dust-buster on all of Rosa's places and the floor surrounding them. It's frustrating not to have them totally gone but hopefully they'll just fade away. I'm definitely having an allergic reaction to the bites now and feel pretty ill (as well as itchy) but I'm just glad I caught it before it got worse.

Wow, she sure looks calm and relaxed, excellent job. Don't kick yourself about the fleas, you will not allow it to happen again. Some folks suggest using a sort of extended hand to get the kitty's used to being touched without the human getting too close. You are doing great, keep up the good work.

 

[rubysmama]

Wow, she looks super relaxed. As in, I love my window seat, with this super soft mat.

Sorry about the continuing flea situation. Two or three every time you sit down, is still a lot.

Can't remember if I already posted these or not, but here's a couple articles on fleas:
Cat Fleas
Homemade Flea Remedies For Cats

Oh... something icky you should be aware of. Cats can get tapeworms from eating fleas. So here's another article, just in case...
The 4 Most Common Worms That Can Make Your Cat Sick

 

[Talien]

Something I've found helps with scared Cats is to lay on my back on the floor near them and take a nap. A Cat's belly is their most vulnerable area, and going to sleep near her with your own belly exposed shows her that you trust her and are not a threat. Obviously I can't guarantee how well it will work with your Cat but it has helped at least somewhat every time I've tried it.

Set feeding times is a good thing for Cats, it gives them a routine and is something they can bond with you over. If you leave food out all day she's probably not going to associate you with it, but if she eats in the same place at specific times each day she will quickly learn that you are where her food comes from and not the bowl, she may even start waiting there when she knows it's getting close to meal time.

It may also be a good idea to get her off of dry food as that is one of the worst things you can feed a Cat regardless of brand, dry foods are loaded with carbohydrates which are all but useless to them from a nutritional standpoint and are basically cheap filler. Cats are designed to digest meat based protein but dry foods are mostly plant based protein (yes, even the grain free foods, they substitute things like peas for the grain) which is harder for them to digest and can cause chronic vomiting and diarrhea.

A lot of the canned food is also largely plant protein but it's still better than dry food because of the moisture content, Cats are designed to get most of their moisture from their prey and don't normally drink much water. Cats can experience varying degrees of dehydration on a dry food diet if they don't drink enough water and this can contribute to kidney problems. If she doesn't want to eat canned food then try adding a little bit of water to her dry food, if she eats it add a little bit more next time. Keep doing that until it's fairly mushy then mix in a bit of canned food, if she eats it add a little more the next meal. Keep doing that until she's eating nothing but the canned food. If you decide to feed her raw food eventually you can do the same thing if she won't eat it right away, just mix a little bit in with her canned and transition her that way.

Warming her food may also help but don't do it in the microwave as it will destroy nutrients, what I do is fill a pot with hot water and float a bowl of food in it until it warms up. I sometimes use boiling water if I'm in a hurry and that speeds it up a bit.

As for the fleas, try something called DE - it is make of crushed up shells of teeny tiny animals like snails or something. It's harmless to people and animals, but it cuts the outer exoskeleton of fleas and they die. You can sprinkle it on rugs, around the perimeter of your home - outside (keeps ants away too!) even work it in to the fur of the cat - if you can. I'm sure if you Google it you can find out more. It's really cheap too.

That sounds like Diatomaceous Earth and it is indeed good as a preventative measure for all kinds of insects/arachnids. Fleas, ticks, ants.....even cockroaches and bedbugs. Awesome stuff.

 

[apparatchic]

dustydiamond1 rubysmama Thank you!!! I needed the kind words today for sure. Rosa hasn't been coming out of her window at all now except at night and I just worry that our whole relationship is ruined. I haven't tried to touch her yet because I don't want to grab her out of the window; something in my gut tells me it's really important for her to have a 'safe space'. But I don't know if I'm just avoiding doing it because it's stressful for both of us.

Talien I'm not sure if I said so in this thread, but honestly I haven't yet found a wet food that Rosa will touch at all. It took a while to find a decent dry food to feed her and she gets chopped chicken with every meal, but she drinks lots of water so I'm just going for "fed and hydrated" rather than worrying right now about her food. It's better than the Kirkland kibble she was eating before!

I have been aggressively vacuuming, dust-busting, and I treated the furniture with flea spray again last night and the fleas DO seem to be lessening now. Which is nice for my sanity!!! It's been a tough week and I'm feeling pretty defeated, but at least Rosa is alive and healthier and seems less itchy? I'll take my wins (however small) wherever I can get them right now.

 

[dustydiamond1]

dustydiamond1 rubysmama Thank you!!! I needed the kind words today for sure. Rosa hasn't been coming out of her window at all now except at night and I just worry that our whole relationship is ruined. I haven't tried to touch her yet because I don't want to grab her out of the window; something in my gut tells me it's really important for her to have a 'safe space'. But I don't know if I'm just avoiding doing it because it's stressful for both of us.

Talien I'm not sure if I said so in this thread, but honestly I haven't yet found a wet food that Rosa will touch at all. It took a while to find a decent dry food to feed her and she gets chopped chicken with every meal, but she drinks lots of water so I'm just going for "fed and hydrated" rather than worrying right now about her food. It's better than the Kirkland kibble she was eating before!

I have been aggressively vacuuming, dust-busting, and I treated the furniture with flea spray again last night and the fleas DO seem to be lessening now. Which is nice for my sanity!!! It's been a tough week and I'm feeling pretty defeated, but at least Rosa is alive and healthier and seems less itchy? I'll take my wins (however small) wherever I can get them right now.

From what I've read on this wonderful site, that's the way it seems to be with some kittys, two steps forward and four steps back. Hang in there and stay strong, you are doing great. I know @1CatOverTheLine and Jcatbird have faced many temporary setbacks over the years.

 

[Jcatbird]

Hey! Believe it or not you are doing great with Rosa. I know we all want to pick them up and comfort them with petting, scratching and love but she is a rescue. It will just take baby steps and set backs are perfectly normal. I’m not really sure you even had a true set back. The fleas were probably causing a lot of the reactions you saw from her. Staying up in the window, being skittish, running under the bathtub, the spot of missing fur over her eye, not really wanting to be that tame, not eating well, loose poop etc. Any time you see a flea jump on you, there are a lot on her. They go for the cat first and the ones that multiply or drop off are the ones you see on you. I can’t stand those things! Because I bring in new rescues regularly, it is a constant fight. Each kitty has to be treated and the fleas drop eggs and larvae by the bundle! You will need to watch for new outbreaks for some weeks to come. The flea treatments are vital. Besides giving kitty parasites they can become so plentiful they can cause anemia. If you place a white towel where she sleeps you can check it for fleas and the black specks the fleas leave behind. This will tip you off if you can’t pet her. A skittish kitty might enjoy a warm towel fresh from the dryer. My cats won’t stay off of my clean laundry! Lol
You mentioned loose poop. That could be because she had fleas running on her after the treatment and she was chasing them as they ran on her. The kitties lick and bite at the fleas. When they do they take in a lot of fleas, flea poop and fur. This can cause loose poop. Worms can too. I don’t know her vet history but this is something you will need to address. Watch her rear end and check her poop for worms. Sounds yucky I know, but better than letting the worms set up shop. I know this may sound overwhelming but don’t panic. Two things, if you feel she needs a vet, get the rescue worker to come and help you get her crated for a vet visit. Next, let me tell you how I get wild kitties to let me touch them. I don’t scruff, or grab them by the back of the neck like their mother did when they were babies. I’m not saying that is wrong. I just don’t do that. I prefer to convince them to allow handling if there is no emergency requiring scruffing. I love that you read to her! Sitting with her and getting her used to your voice shows your instincts with her are great. Keep doing that. My vet used to laugh because each of my kitties has a song that I sing to them. Now my vet sings to my cats! (I can’t sing well so I expect it sounds like a cat yowl to them! Lol) I sit with the kitties when I first find them. When they are used to my presence I gradually move a little closer. I also lay down with them as the previous post suggested. Belly up. When I feed them I use something yummy as a treat. Meat baby food always works. I also use a packaged ham sandwich meat by Carl Buddig. Keep in mind that these are temporary foods for her and not a permanent menu. If Rosa likes either of these then use them as your bait. You start by putting some on her meal dish. Feeding time should be considered as bonding time right now. When she grows to be accustomed to you sitting with her as she eats the treats then you start to move her dish a little closer to you at feeding time. This may take time. Eventually she should be near you. At that point move the dish into your lap. Let her get used to that. Then you slowly put a hand behind her and stroke her back. Softly. She may run off at first but just sit still and let her come back. If she will not do this over a period of time you can try using a brush to stroke her. That should feel especially good to her right now since she is itchy. A wand type toy can be used as well. You can also offer her some baby food on a fingertip or the back of your hand. If she licks it off she will get used to seeing your hand and you can begin to slip in a slight brush of a finger against her or a pet. Expect her to be jumpy at first. I am currently working with a feral Tom cat named BJ. He always ran from me as I was rescuing the other cats in that colony. He is the last one left to catch out of over 100. I used this method to catch, socialize and bring inside, every one of the colony. Some took a couple of weeks and some much longer but I have gotten every one to let me pet them, including him. Almost all have already gotten adopted but I am still working with just over a dozen. I have had setbacks and days where I thought, I’ll never get that one to trust me. You will. Patience, baby steps and work at the pace Rosa allows. If I can do this, anyone can. As you work with her you will both get to know each other and develop trust. You will make mistakes. Normal. I was able to get BJ to let me pet him but we had a hurricane coming here and I tried to rush things to catch him. He wasn’t ready. I Got a good nip from him as punishment! I was frustrated and worried about him. I set him up in a storm shelter and after the storm passed, started again by putting his treat on my knee. He ate it after some hesitation. Today was a great day. I was allowed more petting time than ever before. I know I will have to be patient but I will continue to work with him until he trusts me enough to get him to go into a carrier and bring him in. Even then I will have to work with him but with some effort they trust us and love us if we put in the time to understand their needs and their body language. I read your posts. You are a very good kitty parent. Don’t feel bad about anything! You obviously care a great deal about her. I think you are fantastic. This is sort of like, on the job training. You will learn so much as the days go by and so will Rosa. Give yourself, and Rosa, time to learn. We all learn this as we go and with the help of others who have done this you will get lots of tips. You came to a great place to find help with Rosa. TCS is full of people who will be willing to share their experiences and knowledge with you. In fact, Furballsmom can give you some great tips, especially about things to do to keep Rosa calm and relaxed. That will make the rest much easier. You just keep doing what you are doing. It’s going to work out fine. Before you know it you will be helping someone else here who just got a new skittish kitty. Please keep posting and feel free to @ my ID if you need a little moral support of have a frustrating day. I’ll be checking my alerts to see how you and Rosa are doing. A lot of other people will too. I am so glad Rosa has you!

 

[dustydiamond1]

Hey! Believe it or not you are doing great with Rosa. I know we all want to pick them up and comfort them with petting, scratching and love but she is a rescue. It will just take baby steps and set backs are perfectly normal. I’m not really sure you even had a true set back. The fleas were probably causing a lot of the reactions you saw from her. Staying up in the window, being skittish, running under the bathtub, the spot of missing fur over her eye, not really wanting to be that tame, not eating well, loose poop etc. Any time you see a flea jump on you, there are a lot on her. They go for the cat first and the ones that multiply or drop off are the ones you see on you. I can’t stand those things! Because I bring in new rescues regularly, it is a constant fight. Each kitty has to be treated and the fleas drop eggs and larvae by the bundle! You will need to watch for new outbreaks for some weeks to come. The flea treatments are vital. Besides giving kitty parasites they can become so plentiful they can cause anemia. If you place a white towel where she sleeps you can check it for fleas and the black specks the fleas leave behind. This will tip you off if you can’t pet her. A skittish kitty might enjoy a warm towel fresh from the dryer. My cats won’t stay off of my clean laundry! Lol
You mentioned loose poop. That could be because she had fleas running on her after the treatment and she was chasing them as they ran on her. The kitties lick and bite at the fleas. When they do they take in a lot of fleas, flea poop and fur. This can cause loose poop. Worms can too. I don’t know her vet history but this is something you will need to address. Watch her rear end and check her poop for worms. Sounds yucky I know, but better than letting the worms set up shop. I know this may sound overwhelming but don’t panic. Two things, if you feel she needs a vet, get the rescue worker to come and help you get her crated for a vet visit. Next, let me tell you how I get wild kitties to let me touch them. I don’t scruff, or grab them by the back of the neck like their mother did when they were babies. I’m not saying that is wrong. I just don’t do that. I prefer to convince them to allow handling if there is no emergency requiring scruffing. I love that you read to her! Sitting with her and getting her used to your voice shows your instincts with her are great. Keep doing that. My vet used to laugh because each of my kitties has a song that I sing to them. Now my vet sings to my cats! (I can’t sing well so I expect it sounds like a cat yowl to them! Lol) I sit with the kitties when I first find them. When they are used to my presence I gradually move a little closer. I also lay down with them as the previous post suggested. Belly up. When I feed them I use something yummy as a treat. Meat baby food always works. I also use a packaged ham sandwich meat by Carl Buddig. Keep in mind that these are temporary foods for her and not a permanent menu. If Rosa likes either of these then use them as your bait. You start by putting some on her meal dish. Feeding time should be considered as bonding time right now. When she grows to be accustomed to you sitting with her as she eats the treats then you start to move her dish a little closer to you at feeding time. This may take time. Eventually she should be near you. At that point move the dish into your lap. Let her get used to that. Then you slowly put a hand behind her and stroke her back. Softly. She may run off at first but just sit still and let her come back. If she will not do this over a period of time you can try using a brush to stroke her. That should feel especially good to her right now since she is itchy. A wand type toy can be used as well. You can also offer her some baby food on a fingertip or the back of your hand. If she licks it off she will get used to seeing your hand and you can begin to slip in a slight brush of a finger against her or a pet. Expect her to be jumpy at first. I am currently working with a feral Tom cat named BJ. He always ran from me as I was rescuing the other cats in that colony. He is the last one left to catch out of over 100. I used this method to catch, socialize and bring inside, every one of the colony. Some took a couple of weeks and some much longer but I have gotten every one to let me pet them, including him. Almost all have already gotten adopted but I am still working with just over a dozen. I have had setbacks and days where I thought, I’ll never get that one to trust me. You will. Patience, baby steps and work at the pace Rosa allows. If I can do this, anyone can. As you work with her you will both get to know each other and develop trust. You will make mistakes. Normal. I was able to get BJ to let me pet him but we had a hurricane coming here and I tried to rush things to catch him. He wasn’t ready. I Got a good nip from him as punishment! I was frustrated and worried about him. I set him up in a storm shelter and after the storm passed, started again by putting his treat on my knee. He ate it after some hesitation. Today was a great day. I was allowed more petting time than ever before. I know I will have to be patient but I will continue to work with him until he trusts me enough to get him to go into a carrier and bring him in. Even then I will have to work with him but with some effort they trust us and love us if we put in the time to understand their needs and their body language. I read your posts. You are a very good kitty parent. Don’t feel bad about anything! You obviously care a great deal about her. I think you are fantastic. This is sort of like, on the job training. You will learn so much as the days go by and so will Rosa. Give yourself, and Rosa, time to learn. We all learn this as we go and with the help of others who have done this you will get lots of tips. You came to a great place to find help with Rosa. TCS is full of people who will be willing to share their experiences and knowledge with you. In fact, Furballsmom can give you some great tips, especially about things to do to keep Rosa calm and relaxed. That will make the rest much easier. You just keep doing what you are doing. It’s going to work out fine. Before you know it you will be helping someone else here who just got a new skittish kitty. Please keep posting and feel free to @ my ID if you need a little moral support of have a frustrating day. I’ll be checking my alerts to see how you and Rosa are doing. A lot of other people will too. I am so glad Rosa has you!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! You're getting a lot of awesome feedback here - I just wanted to double check regarding my posts #5 - music and #9 - food, are you playing music for her?

This isn't simply something I thought would be a good idea , there's research supporting that music actually does help. There are more and more shelters putting in speakers so that they can pipe music throughout their buildings for both cats as well as dogs to help them better deal with the stressful conditions.

Easy listening

Low volume classical harp music, George Handel compositions, there's an app Relax My Cat , and as mentioned by the Humane Society, MusicForCats . com

Hang in there, I know you've got a lot going on, -->you're doing a marvelous job with her.

Regarding the scruffing, if I may, let me give you my two cents; one hand behind/below the head (kind of halfway between the ears and the shoulders) where the skin is loose, not super pinchy-hard but just sort of a grip that collects and holds that loose skin, and one supporting hand under the bum.
I've had to do it in order to get my guy in the carrier, and also to get him to accept being looked at by an in-home vet so that I still had my own skin left on me without it being completely shredded by an upset cat . It works (along with a follow-up THOROUGH cussing in feline language that goes all the way back to my first ancestor
If you haven't already (and maybe this has already been suggested - if so I apologize for the duplication) you can ask that shelter lady to show how she does it. If you don't like her method you don't have to do it that way, but it would seem that your kitty was ok with it.

 

[apparatchic]

Jcatbird Furballsmom dustydiamond1 Talien (and so many other people on this thread!) You guys are wonderful. Thanks for being here for me (and for Rosa) - it's been a tough week but I'm feeling better. I really love her, which I know is ridiculous but somehow I just felt at the rescue that she was the cat for me, even though she was hissing and unhappy, and I still feel that way even though I've only ever touched her that once!

We're not making too much progress right now but she seems happy in her window and I read to her for an hour today while luring her slightly closer with treats. She still won't come off her mat for them, and she won't eat them right away unless they're RIGHT in front of her, but at least she'll eat them while I'm there, right?

The music's a great idea and I'll be leaving it on for her during the day now. Thank goodness for Spotify!

Re: the scruffing, I think I will try soon but I'm still hesitant to do it while she's in her window since I don't want her to be scared of me when she's there. I do a lot of positive interaction there (treats, reading, talking, blinking, singing) but I'm waiting for her to be confident enough to hang out in the rest of the house before I try it. I may just be a fraidy-cat myself! I worry a lot about her not trusting me and just wish I could unlock the puzzle of what would make her feel safe and secure.

Thanks so much again, everyone. I'll keep updating and I really really really appreciate the feedback and suggestions. One good thing at least is that the fleas are really much less now and I think as long as I keep up the vacuuming that they'll continue to die off. That was SO distressing last week and now I know the signs much better so it will NOT happen again.

(and TMI update - her poop is fine now and I see no sign of worms at all. I think she was just stressed and upset and maybe the medication was not easy on her tummy; she's been eating a lot more the last few days and I'm fine with that because I know she can use the energy to heal. Still, it's something I'm going to keep an eye on since I know she had the fleas probably since she was at the rescue.)

 

[Furballsmom]

she's been eating a lot more the last few days

This is always a wonderful sign - both regarding her physical health as well as her emotional health

 

[rosegold]

I really love her, which I know is ridiculous but somehow I just felt at the rescue that she was the cat for me, even though she was hissing and unhappy, and I still feel that way even though I've only ever touched her that once!

Not ridiculous at all! I know that feeling very well. You are doing a great job with her. BTW, she is super cute and clearly is a happy girl already on that windowsill.

In terms of touch, have you tried using some sort of “petting stick” (e.g. an old wand toy with a soft bit on the end)? I’m in a similar situation and I got that advice multiple times on this site, and so far it has really worked well for me and my new super-skittish girl. It might be a bit gentler approach if you’re feeling unsure about the scruffing.

I’m enjoying following your progress, good luck with kitty (and the fleas!!!)!

 

[Talien]

I really love her, which I know is ridiculous but somehow I just felt at the rescue that she was the cat for me, even though she was hissing and unhappy, and I still feel that way even though I've only ever touched her that once!

We're not making too much progress right now but she seems happy in her window and I read to her for an hour today while luring her slightly closer with treats. She still won't come off her mat for them, and she won't eat them right away unless they're RIGHT in front of her, but at least she'll eat them while I'm there, right?

It's not ridiculous, sometimes you just know. And it's the same way with animals, sometimes they just know. I volunteer at an animal rescue and I see both, sometimes people will come in and just gravitate right to a certain Cat and sometimes a Cat will pick someone and stick to them like glue the whole time they're in the room.

Just the fact that she has a spot where she feels comfortable enough to lay down out in the open and sleep is progress, especially when she does it when you are nearby. If she rolls over on her back with you in the room you'll know you're almost there. Getting rid of the fleas is going to help a lot in making her feel more comfortable so just stick with what you're doing and see it through.

 

[rubysmama]

I've only ever touched her that once!

Have you tried head bumps? Or would she hiss at you if you put your head that close to hers?

Another idea, instead of reaching towards her with your fingers, try reaching with your fist. My friend's cat is skittish and will sniff at my fist, but is more likely to run off if I reach with my fingers.

Re: the scruffing, I think I will try soon but I'm still hesitant to do it while she's in her window since I don't want her to be scared of me when she's there. I do a lot of positive interaction there (treats, reading, talking, blinking, singing) but I'm waiting for her to be confident enough to hang out in the rest of the house before I try it. I may just be a fraidy-cat myself! I worry a lot about her not trusting me and just wish I could unlock the puzzle of what would make her feel safe and secure.

I think you're wise not to do anything to make her uncomfortable in her window.

Does she know her name yet?