Dog Lover Attempting To Become A Cat Lover

[ThatWiseGuy]

Hey people,

I have an 7 year old black lab and I just adopted a black cat rescue about 6 months ago, mostly for my cat-loving girlfriend. He is quite a handful but I've grown to love him. Unfortunately, he is causing some tension between us. He is mostly nocturnal and interrupts our sleep cycle (mostly mine) and I get frustrated. He attacks my feet, legs, and hands in the middle of the night. He will forever have his claws and I understand that, but when I jump from being stabbed my girlfriend gets irritated with me. She blames me for reacting. I have since started putting him out in the hall and closing the door so he can freely burn off his energy without interrupting my sleep. She's not happy about it, but I think it's a compromise we've established.

I guess my concern is what happens in the future? I'll do every suggested thing I can to correct or palliate the issues, but what about our relationship. We want to get married soon, but I'm concerned about this being a lasting issue. In her eyes, the cat can do no wrong, which I somewhat agree in that he is a cat and it's in his nature to play rough. However, it's the me being the problem when I react to being hurt. I'm a tough enough guy and can handle a decent amount of pain, but when I'm woken from sleep in a relaxed state by feline daggers I can't help but yelping and sometimes getting upset about it. Do I just have to accept that she blames me and put up with her being upset with me?

Any suggestions are welcome!

 

[tabbytom]

Welcome to TCS ThatwiseGuy

Thank you for adopting a new kitty for your girlfriend

Yes, cats are crepuscular creatures meaning that they are most active at dusk and dawn. I believe that your kitty is still a kitten? They don't reach maturity till they are 1 year old and for some breeds they take up to 4 years.

A kitten will go through a kitten phase as they age. So you'll get to see different behaviors from the, but it'll soon past. Just bear with him for a little while. Keep a firm 'NO' and move away and always have a toy nearby to distract him while he attacks and bite. He is just in a playful hunting mode. All cats are the same.
Try playing with before sleep and after playing feed him. He might get to sleep longer but as I explained earlier, he'll still get up way before you.

Just be patience with him and redirect his rough play amd if you do it right, he'll get the idea. He is in the growing up stage.

The other thing is when his age is right, get him neutered. That'll calm him down and also do him good in the sense of his health. Here's two article for you to read :-

When To Spay Or Neuter A Cat?

Why You Should Spay And Neuter Your Cats

Do post photos of your kitty for us to see and also do browse around the site for the many good reads and informative forum threads. Feel free to ask questions if you have any

 

[Draco]

Welcome! Tabby has posted quite a bit of useful info!

In addition, try playing with him until he tires out before bedtime. that should help release energy and give you a good night's sleep. Wand toys with strings and feathers attached is a great toy to get him running and jumping.

Nothing happens over night, have patience and you'll learn to love him!

 

[amysuen]

Welcome! Both of the previous posters have some great ideas. I was also going to suggest playing with him before bed so hopefully he'll tire and sleep a bit.

On another note, I'm not a professional but I've been married almost 30 years, and in my experience it will only be an issue in your relationship if you both allow it to be. Hopefully you can have an honest, loving discussion about it and come to a compromise that you're both happy with. My dad always said, "Will it matter in 100 years from the back of a galloping horse?"

 

[maggiedemi]

One other thing you can try that worked for me is shut him in another room at night for a few nights and try to get his sleeping schedule turned around. Like put him in the room at around 10pm or whenever you go to sleep with water, litter box, and a snack. Then let him out when you wake up. It shouldn't take very many nights to get his sleeping schedule turned around to fit with yours. Then maybe you can let him back in your bedroom to sleep.

 

[Kieka]

Welcome! I agree with the above. A routine is really key to a good nights sleep. Having a hyperactive needy cat myself my best advice is increased play time and a bedtime routine.

At around the same time every night wind him up and wind him down (rapid heavy movement play followed by a slower play) until he gets tired. In kittens this can take a while so dedicate some time to it for the first few months. After play in my house we toss a treat. They chase and eat the treat which aligns with their natural instincts of hunt, play, kill, eat. With your bedtime play you finish with dinner. While he is eating you go to the bathroom, brush teeth, whatever and then to bed. Once you are in bed you refuse to respond to him in anyway shape or form. No matter what. Their natural instinct after the hunt, play, kill, eat is then to sleep so he should settle down and sleep with you or elsewhere after a few days of this routine.

The key is everyday the same thing. Even on weekends. On weekends if you sleep later usually you will want to go to bed earlier until he gets in the routine. After a few months you will be able to go back to a movie or whatever after he eats. He will still put himself to bed. Really, it works with all of mine. Establish and maintain the routine and the cats will follow it on the occasions you don't.

 

[Kieka]

Also, if he starts waking you up too early in the morning (mine like 4am) an automatic feeder is your friend.

 

[dallasstorm]

Hello and welcome! I do agree with all of the above as well. Believe it or not cats can be trained. And my fiance was just like you. He would have rather have had a dog in here than a cat. And at first he was dead set on not petting or liking the cat. Didn't want Willow on him or even in bed with us. And by the sounds of it you can get your pet Neutered right now. They go by weight nowadays. I (and most people will not agree with this) but got all four paws declawed. Willow is strictly a indoor cat. Only time she goes out is in her pet carrier. But that is not for everyone. But you can get him on a good routine as stated. If you are consistent every night with playing with him it will wear him out. A laser pointer is a wonderful thing for a kitty. They usually will chase that forever. I personally don't like things that dangle with feathers as Willow loves to eat them. And then the toy is not fun after that. You will find that a kitty will have a favorite toy just as a dog will. Check out some of the round spinners that have a ball in it that don't come out. That is hours of fun.

And no reaction is the best reaction while in bed. I know it is hard when those young, sharp kitty teeth are nipping at your feet at night. But like a child if you make a sound or response they are most likely to do it again. To a kitty it is fun! So have patience. Don't use water to train, don't yell (at the kitty or the g/f). Willow is 2 years old and she is getting better but she still has her moments. She will come up on the bed now and softly meow to see if I am awake because I moved. But if I don't say anything or move she now gently walks off the bed. Before it use to be crazy. There are times she will still stand on my hip. But I won't move and a few seconds later she is down and out of the room. Progress!

Last but not least. I would never EVER suggest a automatic feeder. Neither will a Vet. Your kitty will become overweight. The side of the bag has how much food you should give a kitty by its weight. Follow it. No more than that a day. And make sure you rinse out the bowl of water everyday...all around the edges to get any slim off. And give fresh water everyday. Intestinal Parasites can be caused by not cleaning a bowl of water. You can also buy a cat bed and teach them after playtime by putting them in there right before you go to bed that it is time for bed. It will take time but it does work. A friend of mine does that and it worked like a dream!

And FYI...my fiance has falled in love with Willow now. Lets her up in his lap. And even in bed. All things take time! Good luck. If you need anything please feel free to ask!

 

[Kieka]

I would never EVER suggest a automatic feeder. Neither will a Vet. Your kitty will become overweight. The side of the bag has how much food you should give a kitty by its weight. Follow it. No more than that a day.

An automatic feeder as I was refering to it is one where you set designation amounts of food and for it to feed at a set time. It is an incredible useful tool for someone whose cat issists on waking up at 4am but their day doesn't start until 6am. Also for someone who could be gone from the home for extended periods of time or with unpredictable schedules. There are also bluetooth and app partnered automatic feeders out there with cameras and programs that also allow of feeding as needed without being present. An automatic feeder or timed feeder will not lead to being overweight. I have three free feeding cats who are incredibly active, I play with on a regular basis and all are at peak health and body condition. A variety of reasons lead to an overweight cat but having a feeder set up properly and a good routine is not one of them. My vet recommends an automatic feeder for her clients who are gone for more then 8 hours to allow for a midday meal because she believes 3 meals is better for then. I believe you thought I was referring to one that allowed the cats to eat whatever they wanted; which I wasn't. I am aware that some cats do need their food measured to ensure they don't overeat and that mine are more active then most. Free feeding doesn't work for everyone and I still get woken up at 4am for a morning treat but that is my nornal time so it doesn't bother me.

Also, please be careful with manufacture feeding guides. Some are fairly inaccurate. An indoor cat should be getting 20-25 calories per pound per day while an active cat can get uo to 35. It really varies by cat. You should mointor your own cats activity level and weight and adjust as needed.

 

[dallasstorm]

Thanks for your suggestion about that and informing me of the site rules. Again, I was not suggestion that to him. However, with the cat that I had to put to sleep after 16 years and Willow who will be 2 soon (knock on wood) has been perfectly fine with my choice. Willow lets me rub on her paws and everything. She is not aggressive. She is just a fun loving kitty.

And must have gotten confused with feeders. I personally think that spending that kind of money on something like that is too much. But if people other than myself can afford it then by all means. Free feeding I guess would depend on the time of day that you choose to fill the bowl with the right amount of food. If someone does it before bed then that might be a better option. Or it can be split into 2 times a day. Right before bed and before they leave the house. I personally don't do a routine of treats. Willow gets them but they are random. Her routine is playtime to wear her silly little self out.

 

[mani]

Thanks for your suggestion about that and informing me of the site rules.

dallasstorm I'm thinking Kieka informed you of the site rules by PM. I'd like to just mention them here, for those who have read your post.

4. This website is anti-declawing. Understand that if you are pro-declaw in your posts, you will encounter opposition. Please learn more about alternatives for declawing

We can leave the topic as we've made our stance on this quite plain and we don't want to go off-topic.