Difficult Ethical Question On Euthanesia Of Beloved Cat, Help

[Sylvia Grace]

Aww, I'm so sorry. I have that same worry with my Heisenberg, who's both black and tiny.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Oh man!!! You're after my own heart!

Have you read There is Eternal Life For Animals by Niki Behrikis Shanahan? What an outstanding book; she dedicated it to her cat. It, and many other books, have helped me. One book talked with children (some teens, some very young; 4 or 5 years) that had experienced NDE and accurately described events that took place after their "death" and spoke of family and pets greeting them. A 4 year old can't make this stuff up and would have no basis or reason to do so!
The idea of only humans having souls or experiencing some kind of afterlife is IMO our way of placing ourselves in a higher place than we were meant to. I think we're important and special in the eyes of our Creator, but I also don't think we would have been given the very simple task of caring for earth and the living things on it if we were meant to sit around and talk about how great we were and how crappy everything else was. I don't think those things would have been created at all if there was no plan to "keep them around", so to speak.
I am with you, if they're not there, it's not Heaven. (Ps.37:4!)
(I don't mean to hijack this thread, or start a religious debate, so please don't ban me!)

 

[houseofnine]

ara11 , I'm so sorry you're going through this. Not sure how much I can help, but I agree with other posters who had said to get meds compounded into flavored liquid if there is a pharmacy nearby that can do it. Years ago I had an asthma kitty who needed prednisone every day, and I used to put it in mushy, salty goat cheese, and she'd take it that way. Just wanted you to know someone else from the TCS community cares and sends good thoughts your way.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Aww, I'm so sorry. I have that same worry with my Heisenberg, who's both black and tiny.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Updates,
the man was so kind and helpful. He used the pill pusher and we sat Puma in sink.
The next morning Puma ran and cried at vets so I thought, we cant do that again to him. So the man came again this morning to pill him and will come again this pm. I gave him a gift certificate since he refused money and he didn't want that either and I began to cry. I am wired so tightly these days, so he accepted it. I lost 2 baytril in pill pockets so Puma is done with that and only has augmentin and his heart meds. I want to stop by Friday but the man said lets see how it goes.
Ive looked everywhere for explanations on a cat with mitral stenosis with LOW blood pressure in CHF who presents acutely with nausea and vomiting and cant find it. I wonder originally if they should have treated the infection before freaking over the heart? It doesn't matter now. They did say the 2 might not be related.
Emotionally I am like a half dead person going through motions. When he is good, I'm ok. When he is bad, I'm a shadow person.
He now eats and drinks a little. where he pees, I don't always know. I don't think he goes to litter box.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Last night Puma vomited his last antibiotic. So that's it. No more pills for awhile. I celebrated his release with a glass of wine and entire family size bag of chips

He woke me at 3am vomited again. I got up at 6and gave breakfast, he ate a little and disappeared into garage - his new hiding spot. Its the ups and downs....and the fear he will die somewhere I cant find. Black cats disappear into shadows.

 

[ara11]

Hi dear friends. He drank water and ate a little tuna and juice that I served him in the screened window he now sits in. Its in the garage and I had made it into tiny cat porch years ago. Thing is, he sits facing the garage, not the street. Its amazing his little body keeps on chugging. I love him and my life seems to spiral around him with his ups and downs. I feel as in a state of perpetual shock since this all happened. My other cat, Luna, ignores him almost totally now but no longer hisses when she sees him. Once they were very close. Luna remains interested in me so there is that.
Each day is a pass.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Hi dear friends. He drank water and ate a little tuna and juice that I served him in the screened window he now sits in. Its in the garage and I had made it into tiny cat porch years ago. Thing is, he sits facing the garage, not the street. Its amazing his little body keeps on chugging. I love him and my life seems to spiral around him with his ups and downs. I feel as in a state of perpetual shock since this all happened. My other cat, Luna, ignores him almost totally now but no longer hisses when she sees him. Once they were very close. Luna remains interested in me so there is that.
Each day is a pass.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Hi dear friends. He drank water and ate a little tuna and juice that I served him in the screened window he now sits in. Its in the garage and I had made it into tiny cat porch years ago. Thing is, he sits facing the garage, not the street. Its amazing his little body keeps on chugging. I love him and my life seems to spiral around him with his ups and downs. I feel as in a state of perpetual shock since this all happened. My other cat, Luna, ignores him almost totally now but no longer hisses when she sees him. Once they were very close. Luna remains interested in me so there is that.
Each day is a pass.

Whether they're healthy, bouncing babies or ill doesn't matter, if they want silly certain things, we grant them because we love them.
I have no idea why I stopped getting notifications to this thread So sorry!!
It's horrible when we know there's something wrong but they continue to tempt our knowledge and emotions with a bite of food here and there, and seemingly asking for certain things.
Spiraling with his ups and downs is an understatement as those emotions become one with ours. When they have a great day, so do we, when their days are poor, our days are poor as well. It's because we love and aren't afraid to do so.

 

[MarmaladeMama]

Hi dear friends. He drank water and ate a little tuna and juice that I served him in the screened window he now sits in. Its in the garage and I had made it into tiny cat porch years ago. Thing is, he sits facing the garage, not the street. Its amazing his little body keeps on chugging. I love him and my life seems to spiral around him with his ups and downs. I feel as in a state of perpetual shock since this all happened. My other cat, Luna, ignores him almost totally now but no longer hisses when she sees him. Once they were very close. Luna remains interested in me so there is that.
Each day is a pass.

Sending good thoughts your way!! It's horrible when our fur babies are sick. My childhood cats both fell ill while I was away at college, and it was horrible. The first had all of the typical symptoms of mysterious illness/old age (though he was only 13). He practically stopped eating and struggled to use the litter box. An already petite cat practically became a skeleton. My mom kept him going until I came home for winter break. I held him and cried before she took him to the vet for euthanasia. Before I went back to school, my mom decided that our remaining cat needed a friend so he wouldn't be lonely. We picked a younger cat out at the shelter, and they found a neutral mutual existence over the next few months. Then everything went into chaos when my brother moved back home and brought his cat with him. Our older cat could not tolerate yet another new cat. He was peeing all over the house, so my mom chose to put him to sleep almost a year after his brother. I wasn't there for that, and he was my fur baby. I cried for weeks after. I empathize with my mom for having a hard time caring for ill cats. Our first cat we had when I was little got diabetes, and it was a challenge to give him insulin, make sure he ate, and clean up his pee. But when we talk about it a few years later, and she wonders if she should have put down my cat or tried to make things easier for him... It kills me. If I hadn't lived halfway across the country I would have taken him home with me and my one cat I had at the time.

So I commend you for trying your best to keep him comfortable until he's ready. My husbands conure suddenly got sick back in October. Unfortunately with birds, there's very little you can do one they start showing symptoms. It was a Saturday, and the only vet that would see him was the research hospital at K-State. We made the drive (almost two hours) knowing that it was probably in vain, but at least we tried.

RIP Louie (2000), Dexter (2013), Max (2014), Cicero (2017)

 

[ara11]

Sending good thoughts your way!! It's horrible when our fur babies are sick. My childhood cats both fell ill while I was away at college, and it was horrible. The first had all of the typical symptoms of mysterious illness/old age (though he was only 13). He practically stopped eating and struggled to use the litter box. An already petite cat practically became a skeleton. My mom kept him going until I came home for winter break. I held him and cried before she took him to the vet for euthanasia. Before I went back to school, my mom decided that our remaining cat needed a friend so he wouldn't be lonely. We picked a younger cat out at the shelter, and they found a neutral mutual existence over the next few months. Then everything went into chaos when my brother moved back home and brought his cat with him. Our older cat could not tolerate yet another new cat. He was peeing all over the house, so my mom chose to put him to sleep almost a year after his brother. I wasn't there for that, and he was my fur baby. I cried for weeks after. I empathize with my mom for having a hard time caring for ill cats. Our first cat we had when I was little got diabetes, and it was a challenge to give him insulin, make sure he ate, and clean up his pee. But when we talk about it a few years later, and she wonders if she should have put down my cat or tried to make things easier for him... It kills me. If I hadn't lived halfway across the country I would have taken him home with me and my one cat I had at the time.

So I commend you for trying your best to keep him comfortable until he's ready. My husbands conure suddenly got sick back in October. Unfortunately with birds, there's very little you can do one they start showing symptoms. It was a Saturday, and the only vet that would see him was the research hospital at K-State. We made the drive (almost two hours) knowing that it was probably in vain, but at least we tried.

RIP Louie (2000), Dexter (2013), Max (2014), Cicero (2017)

marmalade mama, to still be pondering decisions made a year later is so sad. That is your humanity speaking. Everyone on this thread has been so open and loving. I'm not myself these days but it helps to see people who understand my pain an difficulty in doing the right thing and when. I never wanted to become "god" to my cat responsible for life ending decisions. I have to see it as a form of "healing" of pain....so difficult.

 

[dustydiamond1]

How is everything?

 

[ara11]

How is everything?

Thanks for asking. I'm definitely depressed but he is still alive and comes out each morning to eat as was his routine, but now can only eat a bite or 2. He stays in garage window most of day. He pees by litter box but not in it. He is happy briefly to see me but doesn't hang with me very long. He doesn't cry. Ive had a grave dug but maintain a fantasy that he eats and is ok for a few weeks more but that isn't happening. Its bad, sad times I guess.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Thanks for asking. I'm definitely depressed but he is still alive and comes out each morning to eat as was his routine, but now can only eat a bite or 2. He stays in garage window most of day. He pees by litter box but not in it. He is happy briefly to see me but doesn't hang with me very long. He doesn't cry. Ive had a grave dug but maintain a fantasy that he eats and is ok for a few weeks more but that isn't happening. Its bad, sad times I guess.

I am so sad for you both. Have you spoken to your vet? He is starving, and his body is breaking down. I know its hard, I've been there, but might be kinder to help him go peacefully with you next to him. I'm sorry.

 

[ara11]

I am so sad for you both. Have you spoken to your vet? He is starving, and his body is breaking down. I know its hard, I've been there, but might be kinder to help him go peacefully with you next to him. I'm sorry.

Oboy, I grapple with this day and night, literally. Each weekend I think s his last and then he does somethinglike sit with me or eat a bit more or enjoy some treats, but yes, the time is getting closer. Taking a life is so difficult, especially when it isn't an old life. And when there are signs he wants to live a little younger.........

 

[dustydiamond1]

Oboy, I grapple with this day and night, literally. Each weekend I think s his last and then he does somethinglike sit with me or eat a bit more or enjoy some treats, but yes, the time is getting closer. Taking a life is so difficult, especially when it isn't an old life. And when there are signs he wants to live a little younger.........

I understand completely. Does the vet have any thing else to try? Maybe ask the vet to check with fellow vets for suggestions for a course of action?

 

[1 bruce 1]

Oboy, I grapple with this day and night, literally. Each weekend I think s his last and then he does somethinglike sit with me or eat a bit more or enjoy some treats, but yes, the time is getting closer. Taking a life is so difficult, especially when it isn't an old life. And when there are signs he wants to live a little younger.........

I get that mental grappling, too. It can make sleep impossible because your thoughts go in circles and you think the same things, on a continuous loop, over and over until you feel like you're going crazy.
One of our cats years ago was scheduled to be helped make the transition, and when we were digging the carrier out to load him up he got up from his bed, hobbled over to the food bowl, and ate the biggest meal he'd ate in weeks. We promptly called the vet and said "not yet". Later, his brother slowly withered away and died in his sleep at a very ripe age, but I think about his problems and wonder if he shouldn't have been let go, by us.
I've said it a billion times. If we help them, we wonder if they would have went on and enjoyed life a little more. If we don't, and they go on their own, we wonder if we should have spared them any discomfort they may or may not have had.
It's impossible to be OK with this, especially (as you say) when it isn't an old life ending with the memories of a long life well lived. It just is so unfair.
On a more positive note, aging or sickness seems to bring out some odd sense in them. We've had fractious cats grow sweet, and grouchy dogs become loving. I don't know what this is but I think it has something to do with their realization that they're loved so deeply and madly by us that they realize that, and appreciate it.
Hang in there.

 

[epona]

I hope that if that time comes for any of my boys that I have to make a decision, that I'll know - that I'll be able to tell from their behaviour whether they still are getting something from life. And that is the thing really - it's not to end it when it is convenient for us, but when it is the last possible thing that we can do to help them, when all else is done, and they have nothing to enjoy any more, or pain, or misery.

I worry that I won't be able to detect that moment though, if it is needed.

It's never an easy decision - and it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be something that is taken lightly. The fact that we all suffer about such a decision, both before and after, is testament to our humanity and how much we care.

 

[1 bruce 1]

marmalade mama, to still be pondering decisions made a year later is so sad. That is your humanity speaking. Everyone on this thread has been so open and loving. I'm not myself these days but it helps to see people who understand my pain an difficulty in doing the right thing and when. I never wanted to become "god" to my cat responsible for life ending decisions. I have to see it as a form of "healing" of pain....so difficult.

It seems like most things you write about your thoughts mirror what mine have been.
I hate the thought of euthanasia and always have. I too felt that it was kind of like playing God. I've chosen euthanasia before, but it has to be a bad, BAD situation...physically agonizing (I mean agony; not a bad day here and there) for the pet with no chance of recovery. That's my preference, but there are so many variables it would be impossible to find a "right" answer or a "wrong" answer. That's what's so difficult...
I keep reminding myself that a natural death happens naturally, from natural causes. Having a critically ill cat that's basically still a kitten, or having a pet riddled with cancer is not natural to me. Dogs suffering gastric torsion isn't natural and neither is a cat with diabetes. To me, these things are the ultimate confusion of nature, NOT created by nature itself alone.
I try to give myself a break on the idea of euthanasia as playing God because I don't euthanize anything that doesn't need sparing from pain (aka we don't euthanize things when they're old, not as cute, or require a tiny bit more work), and also that if I have a pet that has a terminal medical condition, I'll at least try treating it to extend their life and quality of without hesitation. I guess in a way using medications to extend life or using a drug to end it is the same type of thing; intercepting nature and manipulating things in such a way that the time of "natural" death is either shortened or extended. I don't feel it's wrong to extend a life if it can be done...

 

[nansiludie]

I have had to make that decision too many times but I look at their quality of life not quantity. I have to look at it as if I am doing it for them or for me, in terms of trying a different treatment, will it help them get better or feel better or just have the suffer a bit longer. I would rather they go a day early than suffer a day too long. That's probably because I made the mistake once of having one stay longer than he should have. That still haunts me. I hope you won't have to make that choice but if you do, I know that he will know you did so out of love.