CRF kitty, made an appt to PTS. Second guessing.

[wasabipea]

They were going to give me a lesson at the vets today about doing the subQ at home, but had an emergency sick dog and everyone was distracted, so tomorrow.

I'm cautiously optimistic she was on my lap purring earlier and ate a little baby food and some cold cut turkey. Not the best, but something. And i have been giving her some nutrical on top of it, which is high in calories and nutrients. She looks better, I know it won't be forever, I just want to do what I can for her without causing her too much stress and do what I can before it's her time. She has been battling many health issues in the past few years, and there is a time to acknowledge that she has fought the good fight for a long time and let her rest in peace. She has come back from death's door many times. There is a reason they call her one of their "miracle cats" at the vets office.

Aoi Chan, thank you for your input on those medications, and none of them are in the picture and if you had taken the time to read the posts you'd have realized that the younger cat was introduced before I knew that somewhat acute CRF was the issue with the older cat. All I'm going to say on that subject is that I am an experienced enough cat owner to know that tossing a kitten into this mess, well I'm hardly that ignorant, the young cat is already here and I'm careful to keep them separated, nd I have nothing else nice to say on your remark... so I'll leave it at that.

I just wanted to chime in and say that she seems to be rebounding for now, walking around more, and starting to eat on her own a bit. One day at a time :-)

Again, thanks all for the supportive posts and chatting with folks that have been in this situation has been very helpful. And yes, she is beautiful little girl - thanks for the compliments :heart4:

 

[aoi chan]

I'm surprised that your vet hasn't prescribed any meds for nausea.
By the way I did read all the posts including yours. I was actually talking about bringing a kitten into the picture because the living cat seemed lonely wasn't the best idea. Anyways what's done is done.

 

[mycatwasthebest]

I would just like to say that when you are upset and cry about len (or anything else) go outside, or into the bathroom with the water running so Roni doesn't see or hear you. Your grief can be disconcerting to her.

 

[wasabipea]

In retrospect, bringing in a second cat might not have been the best idea, and I gave it a good week of consideration, but the look of a lonely cat who has spent every day of 18 years with a companion... she was visibly lonely and past the point of acute grief. I had planned to do a very slow and controlled introduction, and my friend hand raised this 7 month old from a baby - so she is friendly, submissive, etc. Oh well, Wallenda kitten got out and my carefully calculated plans were foiled.

The vet gave her an anti-nausea injection before we realized her renal failure had spiked. Her white cell count was high,but since the cat is on amiltryptilene for stress related cystitis and gabapentin, she has med reactions. She is on a liquid antibiotic now that has anti nausea properties.

...and mycatwasthebest - yes, I need to do that. She picks up on my stress which, for other reasons has been off the charts lately.

Anyway... taken this morning!

photo-17.JPG

• wasabipea
• May 31, 2014

Please excuse the white dust (diatomaceous earth because the ants were getting to her food bowl) and the food specked trim from more voracious eating days Not much, but it is a start.

 

[betsygee]

Please excuse the white dust (diatomaceous earth because the ants were getting to her food bowl) and the food specked trim from more voracious eating days

Not much, but it is a start.

Aw, sweet Roni.  It's good to see them eat, isn't it. 

 

[wasabipea]

It sure is good to see them eat on their own. It wasn't much, but she hasn't eaten from her bowl in days... and she ate the "real" cat food, not the junk that has been keeping her going

 

[mycatwasthebest]

It sure is good to see them eat on their own. It wasn't much, but she hasn't eaten from her bowl in days... and she ate the "real" cat food, not the junk that has been keeping her going

 

[betsygee]

Keep us posted on how she's doing and know we're here for you if the time comes.  

 

 

[wasabipea]

Thanks Betsygee. I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just put her down. While she still looks relatively good and still shows interest in going outside to lay by her cat mint patch and get sun - she has zero interest in food of any kind, and her diarrhea is getting so bad. That is a kidney disease indicator, yes?

Why can't my damn vet just come to my house? There is something about the look on her face at the office that makes impossible for me and I'm not comfortable with booking a week in advance with an at home vet that I'm unfamiliar with.

I think she has been fighting for so long, and so tenaciously - if it were up to her she would fight to live forever. That's why it is so hard for me to make this call. While I'm doing it out of love, I don't think its what she wants. And she is not eating, I don't even know how she is still functioning.

This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, by far. I don't know what to do. *cry*

 

[betsygee]

Oh, Wendy, I'm sorry.  It sounds, though, like you do know what you need to do, hard as it is.  You've certainly done everything you could for her.  One of the members here wrote this. http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes

 It's helped many people who are at "that moment", maybe it will help a bit, even if it means taking her to the vet.  I'm so sorry you're facing this.

 

[mycatwasthebest]

awww...I was so rooting for her. I don't know where you are but when it was the best cat's time I found there were many vets and others that specialize in at-home euthanasia. Prices and acceptable forms of payment vary widely (ie-300 cash only on a sunday night emergency) and depend on if you want a thorough consult, disposition of her earthly remains, etc. I don't think Roni would mind that it's a stranger, in the end it could be preferable.

 

[wasabipea]

That was really sweet, thank you...

I'm going to have her BUN and creatinine checked and see if a week of subQs is helping at all.

If not, I'm going to let the poor old girl just rest in peace. She is so tired, sometimes I say she fights to live another day because she loves me so - I have to do what's right for her, not me.

Thank you again.

Mycatwasthebest - I want to do it at home so very badly, but booking a week in advance I'm just not comfortable with, much as it would mean so much to me for her to be in her surroundings. She has been at the vet so many times in the past few years, she knows them all there and really is a sweet patient.

So hard. We'll see what the new kidney numbers say and see if subQ is helping, if so - I'll give it another week and see where we are at.

Heartbroken. She loves me so much, and I her. But you all know how that feels. Thanks again for your kind words.

 

[AbbysMom]

I have no experience with CRF, only with making that difficult decision and I just wanted to give you a hug.

 

[mycatwasthebest]

I know what you mean...but if you have to book out you can always cancel the appointment if need be. Otherwise around here they come on short notice (even 3am) but that is what COSTS.

I KNOW it is hard but wouldn't you want to go at home surrounded by family and friends?

 

[wasabipea]

The at-home vet has a 3:00 Wed appt open. How do I know what Roni is going to be like at 3:00 Wed?

I don't know if they will charge me to cancel or not. I can't commit to a time and date at the moment, I'll call in the AM and see if she charges to cancel. She has to travel a long way (I'm not in a metropolitan area) and if at 3:00 Roni is acting well... then what??

Believe me, I WANT to do it at home, it just might not be a feasible option with the situation.

I have a full time job, a long commute, running out of time I can take off... I'm doing the best I can. I really am.

I'm waiting on a call from another Dr tomorrow, he's more open to coming asap. When I make the decision, it has to be asap or else I'll back out, This is killing me.

I know you mean the best, and I'm doing everything I can to make it happen, I just have to be able to live with my decision whether it be at the vet's office or at home, which I vastly prefer - but again, where I live there are not many at home services and they fill up fast and fairly far in advance.

You are very lucky to live in an area where vets will come asap, even in the middle of the night. If I knew I had that option, this whole situation would be nowhere near as heartbreaking and upsetting for me.

Just let me see what the bloodwork numbers tell me first.

Thanks -

 

[peaches08]

It's so hard to determine when it's time.  Big hugs to you.

 

[catwoman707]

Honestly, I couldn't possibly BARE scheduling an appt to put one of my kids down. That is just too much for a human to handle.

That's like asking to be literally tortured.

Why not go with this, cancel immediately so there is no charge, and when the time does come? Take her in. This is the only way to prevent the drawn out heartache of what's to come. 

At the time when you can see it IS time to let her go, she will still be in your arms, and likely not reactive as she would normally be, due to how she is feeling by then.

Good luck, not an easy thing here for sure.

 

[mycatwasthebest]

 
The at-home vet has a 3:00 Wed appt open. How do I know what Roni is going to be like at 3:00 Wed?

I don't know if they will charge me to cancel or not. I can't commit to a time and date at the moment, I'll call in the AM and see if she charges to cancel. She has to travel a long way (I'm not in a metropolitan area) and if at 3:00 Roni is acting well... then what??

Believe me, I WANT to do it at home, it just might not be a feasible option with the situation.

I have a full time job, a long commute, running out of time I can take off... I'm doing the best I can. I really am.

I'm waiting on a call from another Dr tomorrow, he's more open to coming asap. When I make the decision, it has to be asap or else I'll back out, This is killing me.

I know you mean the best, and I'm doing everything I can to make it happen, I just have to be able to live with my decision whether it be at the vet's office or at home, which I vastly prefer - but again, where I live there are not many at home services and they fill up fast and fairly far in advance.

You are very lucky to live in an area where vets will come asap, even in the middle of the night. If I knew I had that option, this whole situation would be nowhere near as heartbreaking and upsetting for me.

Just let me see what the bloodwork numbers tell me first.

Thanks -

oh my!-First off, I'm sorry you don't have the option of calling someone who can arrive in the last 20 minutes, that's literally where I was when the best cat was dying but I live on cash but couldn't get it til daybreak, and by then she was dead (I should have planned for that better, but until the last 24 hours my mind wasn't there

)

I feel VERY badly I let her down in this way, even though she died sleeping next to me. I realize saying to schedule killing her is a horrible thought, but people actually do it all the time for their human loved ones.  My 99yo grandmother is still upset they pulled the plug on my mother without her being there (and so am I).  IS THIS TOOMUCHINFORMATION?

I am telling you so you see where I'm coming from...but I

BY NO MEANS think you should let Roni go Wednesday,  or any other day. I wonder if any vets let people do this themselves...I guess there are laws against that

 

[wasabipea]

Well, we have been giving her subQs 125cc every day for a week now (she's only 7.5 lbs, probably down to 6.5 now). She has an  appt tonight for fluids (maybe) - honestly she knows the vets and the techs and it's not terribly traumatic for her to be there. I think my being there is the most important part for her. She is a very good patient, no hissing or drama, very cooperative and sweet.

First tonight, I'm going to get an in house blood test of kidney values. If they haven't changed, or have gotten worse, I may just tell them to end it, it's going to happen sooner or later. They were very kind when I had to bring in Len. They sedate first and let them hang out in sleepyville for a few minutes before administering the phenobarbitol. As I said with Len, he was on the verge of suffering and I couldn't let him get to that point - he was pretty out of it anyway so it wasn't that traumatic. Knowing I was ending his pain was a great comfort to me, leaving him there was the hardest part.

Roni will be at the vet anyway. I keep having a chat with her every night that it's ok to go, I would give anything for her to die in her sleep - but it never works that way. If I knew a way to do it myself at home, I would. I know it's illegal for vets to dispense fatal doses of tranquilizers (the vet told me that the mix of antidepressants - which she is on - and pill-form tranquilizers can sometimes have the opposite effect and have them bouncing off the wall.

I can't schedule a time, as catwoman said, that would make me crazy and I've already lost maybe 10 lbs over the stress of it all.

Bottom line: She is not eating. Force feeding is acceptable to try to get them past a crisis point, but I don't believe that it's humane to force a cat to live. I'd rather her go at home naturally, but I had a friend who has lost two cats to kidney failure and tried that route. He said they both started crying in pain at one point and he had to take them in. I can't let her get to the point of being in pain.

If Roni's kidney numbers havent changed tonight (and I can find out on the spot), I think I have to make the choice for her. She can't go on like this, even though she wants to live forever. Her quality of life is shot.

Not the way I wanted her life to end... things rarely work out the way we plan. Mycat... you are very lucky to have that in-home last minute option, I'd give anything for that.

Betsygee, thanks again for the link to that post - it made me cry and was comforting. We had 18 lovely years together, and she loves me so much, I'll always have that to remember.

Sad. *tears and a sniffle*

 

[denice]

You mentioned that she has diarrhea, diarrhea normally is not part of CRF.  CRF kitties usually have issues with constipation.  I seen where she was on an antibiotic, the diarrhea may be from the antibiotic.