This past Saturday I had a Celebration of Life for my husband Paul, who passed away on 12/15. Just some friends who he loved and who loved him. It was so nice to have people over to honor him. I was ok when they were here but a mess after they left. It is so hard - nobody can understand it unless they experience it. Everything brings me to tears, sometimes I can hardly drive the car. I miss him and wonder when I will start to get back to some semblance of "normal". Right now I can't imagine it. We were married for 53 years ad knew each other for 56. So heartbreaking. I keep hoping I'll wake up and find that this was just a horrible nightmare. I keep waiting for a "sign" from him to tell me he is ok and with his sister. That would be so welcome!