I am so sorry for the delayed response.Hello!! Yes definitely tired and stressed - I forgot how fatiguing moving can be. This is why people move and then say "we're never moving again," hahaha.
Just a quick update - I wasn't able to take any videos but basically both cats seem well. I let them out (alternating) starting Friday evening and have just been switching back and forth for both for Saturday and Sunday. Both are obviously still curious/have slightly anxious body language. That said, Hawthorne took a long nap in his bed (in the living room) and a longer one on the sofa (with some grooming), so he's starting to feel a bit more comfortable. He is also using his scratching post and ready to play a bit. He follows me if I go into the basement or somewhere 'away' but he otherwise does his own thing in the main living area. He also cries most of the time now when he is in his room away from us/the main area. So, back to same old, same old.
Florence is starting to eat and play outside of the room. She hasn't taken any naps yet or done any 'relaxing.' She rubs everything with her face and mostly has the happy, upright tail. She is obviously still most relaxed in her room - we spend time together in there too, watching some movies. She also is doing her 'scratching' of the sofa (she has no front claws so there isn't much she can do) and using the scratching post too.
She occasionally goes to sit outside of Hawthorne's (closed) door while he's in there and occasionally does the growl/hiss. Hawthorne stopped outside of her (closed) door once and she growled and he did his snorting/huffing thing. So we're not worse than before, hahaha. About the same, it seems. From what I can tell.
I've also done a little scent swapping with a Tshirt and a blanket.
Tomorrow I was going to start room swapping, so that I have one in my office for the morning and then they switch - so each gets half the day with me. Do you think that's a good idea?
Hope all is well! I'll try to take videos soon.
" - Yep. I am thinking we should just let him out totally. " - Ahhhhh, ok, that is fine though Hawthorne may act up. :/ But if he can be in your office with you that might help.No worries for any delay! You're always super speedy in responding.I am so sorry for the delayed response.
"Hello!! Yes definitely tired and stressed - I forgot how fatiguing moving can be. This is why people move and then say "we're never moving again," hahaha." - SO TRUE!!! Hang in there, it is all worth it.
"Just a quick update - I wasn't able to take any videos" - That is fine.
" but basically both cats seem well." - Great
" I let them out (alternating) starting Friday evening and have just been switching back and forth for both for Saturday and Sunday." - Great
" Both are obviously still curious/have slightly anxious body language." - Yes, totally normal.
" That said, Hawthorne took a long nap in his bed (in the living room) and a longer one on the sofa (with some grooming), so he's starting to feel a bit more comfortable. He is also using his scratching post and ready to play a bit. He follows me if I go into the basement or somewhere 'away' but he otherwise does his own thing in the main living area. " - Wow, GREAT!!! He is adjusting really well. Love it!!!
"He also cries most of the time now when he is in his room away from us/the main area. So, back to same old, same old.
"Florence is starting to eat and play outside of the room." - Great.
" She hasn't taken any naps yet or done any 'relaxing.' " - That is normal. She jsut moved in to the other house and now another house, that is a lot of change. So expected.
"She rubs everything with her face" - Yes, marking as her territory. Normal. Helps to feel more secure, ownership, etc.
" and mostly has the happy, upright tail." - Great
"She is obviously still most relaxed in her room - we spend time together in there too, watching some movies. " - Great, that is the key., to help her adjust.
"She also is doing her 'scratching' of the sofa (she has no front claws so there isn't much she can do) and using the scratching post too." - I did not know she was de-clawed. She has done amazingly well with Hawthorne given that.
"She occasionally goes to sit outside of Hawthorne's (closed) door while he's in there and occasionally does the growl/hiss." - Awwwwwww
" Hawthorne stopped outside of her (closed) door once and she growled and he did his snorting/huffing thing." - OK, that is fine.
"So we're not worse than before, hahaha. About the same, it seems. From what I can tell." - Ok, agreed. Sounds like the move/change went well.
"I've also done a little scent swapping with a Tshirt and a blanket." - great. How did they respond?
"Tomorrow I was going to start room swapping, so that I have one in my office for the morning and then they switch - so each gets half the day with me. Do you think that's a good idea?" - Great idea.
"Hope all is well! I'll try to take videos soon." - Sounds good.
"Also I know you suggested having someone in with one cat while the other is out but at this point, while Michael is willing to help in some ways, it's kind of a one-person show - so one of them has to be away (and alone) while the other is out." - That is totally fine, not an issue at all.
"And very last thing! The painter is back again this week so we need to keep to the plan of the cats mostly in their rooms (or alternating bedrooms for a site swap) during the day. Then in the evenings they can (alternately) come out again.
Sounds like it went really well. Let's think about where we can do some intro. I am thinking in neutral territory if possible. So having Flo outside her room and Hawthorne in the rest of the house if possible. Not sure it will be.
"No worries for any delay! You're always super speedy in responding.No worries for any delay! You're always super speedy in responding.
So yes, Hawthorne is acting up. He was in his bedroom for this morning and yowled the majority of the time. I can hear him pacing around while he yowls. He also sticks his paw under the door and rattles it, trying to get out. If it weren't for the painter, I think he would be ready to be out full time, even though he is still settling in to the new space.
Is that going to cause a problem for the introductions, i.e. that he seems to think this space is already his and so it isn't neutral anymore?
I'm feeling a bit confused about how to proceed. This week will have to be as described above - mornings in his bedroom/afternoons in the office (with the opposite for Florence), then evenings partly out (with Florence out the other part) but after that we can theoretically start to have him out all the time.
Scent swapping seems to be fine. They don't seem to be paying each other's smells any notice, that I can tell. We'll see when I do the room swapping in a few minutes.
He is adjusting well but still has the same.. anxious/pacing/big-pupils quality at times that he had at the previous house. Before I assumed it was stress from getting ready from the move; now maybe it's stress from moving. He's a tricky little one.
Do we want to go right to an introduction or let them see each other through the gates and do treats etc first? I feel I'm in uncharted waters now.
" - Thank you!!" - I suspect they will be fine. We'll see though. 
" - Hahahaha, yep. If you haven't done it before it is like that. It will be fine. I'll make sure we do our best and chose the right path. I am trying to figure out how much of her reactions are due to her being de-clawed (feeling defenseless). There may be a history there. That is a bit new that I need to get a feeling for. But I have intro'd de-clawed cats so it isn't an issue, just something to think about.Hawthorne has his front claws but not his back claws - they had to be removed following an accident in 2014. So they are each declawed - her front, him back."No worries for any delay! You're always super speedy in responding.
"So yes, Hawthorne is acting up. He was in his bedroom for this morning and yowled the majority of the time. I can hear him pacing around while he yowls. He also sticks his paw under the door and rattles it, trying to get out. If it weren't for the painter, I think he would be ready to be out full time, even though he is still settling in to the new space." - Yes. :/ Can you get him in your office with you? Maybe that can calm him? And then when the painter is gone we'll have to give him the whole thing. :/
"Is that going to cause a problem for the introductions, i.e. that he seems to think this space is already his and so it isn't neutral anymore?" - Absolutely not. Not a problem at all.
"I'm feeling a bit confused about how to proceed. This week will have to be as described above - mornings in his bedroom/afternoons in the office (with the opposite for Florence), then evenings partly out (with Florence out the other part) but after that we can theoretically start to have him out all the time." - Yes, The painter complicates it. How does he do with you at night? I am assuming fine? Actually during the day you might want to have him all day with you in the office. Then at night let him roam and if possible spend time with Flo in her room. Then trying to get him in the room at night. :/ It is tricky, just do your best. Does that make sense?
"Scent swapping seems to be fine. They don't seem to be paying each other's smells any notice, that I can tell." - Great
" We'll see when I do the room swapping in a few minutes.
"He is adjusting well but still has the same.. anxious/pacing/big-pupils quality at times that he had at the previous house." - All the time or just at times?
"Before I assumed it was stress from getting ready from the move; now maybe it's stress from moving. He's a tricky little one." - Any change is stressful for cats and this is on the high end of the scale.
"Do we want to go right to an introduction or let them see each other through the gates and do treats etc first?" - I am torn and need to think more. I am almost inclined to try a no gate and see how they are. BUT I need to get a better feel where they are.
" I feel I'm in uncharted waters now.
Hawthorne has his claws, correct?
"Hawthorne has his front claws but not his back claws - they had to be removed following an accident in 2014. So they are each declawed - her front, him back." - Yes, I remember now. The front are definitely more important to a cat for safety though. So we'll have to watch a bit more. But we'll get through it. Shouldn't be an issue.
He's a mystery, that little stinker! He's sleeping on her bed again and also peed in her litterbox. So all good things."Hawthorne has his front claws but not his back claws - they had to be removed following an accident in 2014. So they are each declawed - her front, him back." - Yes, I remember now. The front are definitely more important to a cat for safety though. So we'll have to watch a bit more. But we'll get through it. Shouldn't be an issue.
"Florence is now in Hawthorne's room - she was tentative and sniffed all around and growled at one point when she was eating a treat out of the area where he often sleeps. I presume it smelled like him and she didn't like it or she felt a bit uncertain." - Yes, that is normal. BUT that is a positive association (treat) and a positive encounter (no attack etc from Hawthorne). So very positive.
"She was pretty good but I could tell wanted to find a place to hide or be secure." - Yes, but as long as she isn't it will build trust and confidence.
"She's sleeping in the top of closet now (how she got up there I'll never know - she is agile!)." - Hahahaha, yep, they can get everywhere!!
" But no hissing or big tails." - Great
" I think she is stressed but not beyond what might be expected." - just reassure her, let her know it is ok and positive.
"Hawthorne is in the office with me now (Florie's room)." - Ahhhhh, I didn't realize it was Flo's room also.
"He went all around smelling, including a long smell in the litterbox hahah, and now he's sleeping on her bed, just fine. " - AWSOME!!! This is a really great sign!!!
"Totally quiet. If I pop out to use the washroom it might be another story." - Only because of you not Flo. Not an issue at all.
"At night he's also generally fine." - Great
"Sometimes around 4am he starts fussing and yowling at the door. I think he's hungry or bored. If I shush him a few times he typically comes back to the bed and sleeps again." - Yep, that is a time when cats get active. Not an issue. Really good he then settles.
"My overall sense is they are both adjusting pretty well." - Totally agree. I think better than I expected.
" I'm happy with it." - Totally
" If they weren't separated, I'd be letting Hawthorne out all of the time and I'd be thinking about having Florence out at least during the day or supervised times." - Agreed
"After this week (once the painter is done), I guess we can think about what we do to pick up the actual introductions again." - Sure. Or if you want to do some treat session by the closed door that is fine. Just what ever you choose just try to make it as positive as possible.
"One of the rooms has a French door - it's a bedroom coming off of the main room. So theoretically Florence could be in there and Hawthorne in the main room and they could see each other but not touch each other. Would that be useful?" - I think so. That could really work out. BUT we don't want any scratches on those.
"Otherwise I might look into something better for the gates - something she can't jump or squeeze out of. Maybe more of a mesh or something." - Yeah but I am not sure it will be necessary. The gates should be fine. She can't be THAT afraid if she wants to come out with him there.
Now we are in a more stable place (well after the painter) we can get back at it. I am, really happy how well they are adjusting especially Hawthorne. Maybe he is more confident than I think.
And one other note - Hawthorne was out in the main room and Florence starting banging on the door of her room to get out (she also knows to stick her paw under) and Hawthorne came FLYING over to the door to see what the matter was. To his credit, he didn't snort or hiss, but he was very concerned about the noise. Sometimes I'm like, Hawthorne, you know she's here!He's a mystery, that little stinker! He's sleeping on her bed again and also peed in her litterbox. So all good things.
Ok for this week (until Friday at least) I'll just keep alternating - Hawthorne in the main bedroom, Florence with me in the office (also her room, as you noted) for the morning and then switch for the afternoon. They'll each get time out in the evening, with some play time.
And good idea re: treat time at the closed doors. Maybe we'll start that tonight as well.
Once the painter is done we'll re-evaluate.
And as a side note, I don't mind if the French door gets scratched. We can paint it. If it would be helpful for some type of intro time then I'm happy to test it out.
"He's a mystery, that little stinker! He's sleeping on her bed again and also peed in her litterbox. So all good things." - Awwwwwwwww. Yep, he is doing well. Watch to see how she responds to his using "her" litter box.He's a mystery, that little stinker! He's sleeping on her bed again and also peed in her litterbox. So all good things.
Ok for this week (until Friday at least) I'll just keep alternating - Hawthorne in the main bedroom, Florence with me in the office (also her room, as you noted) for the morning and then switch for the afternoon. They'll each get time out in the evening, with some play time.
And good idea re: treat time at the closed doors. Maybe we'll start that tonight as well.
Once the painter is done we'll re-evaluate.
And as a side note, I don't mind if the French door gets scratched. We can paint it. If it would be helpful for some type of intro time then I'm happy to test it out.
" - Ok, we'll probably use that. Good neutral territory.Hello C calicosrspecial !! Hope you're having a wonderful long weekend."He's a mystery, that little stinker! He's sleeping on her bed again and also peed in her litterbox. So all good things." - Awwwwwwwww. Yep, he is doing well. Watch to see how she responds to his using "her" litter box.
"Ok for this week (until Friday at least) I'll just keep alternating - Hawthorne in the main bedroom, Florence with me in the office (also her room, as you noted) for the morning and then switch for the afternoon. They'll each get time out in the evening, with some play time." - Sounds good. IF Hawthorne is acting up then we will adjust. I am guessing he is not going to like being in "his" room as much. :/
"And good idea re: treat time at the closed doors. Maybe we'll start that tonight as well." - Sounds good, let me know how they do. just try to distract and keep it as positive as possible. At the door to the office with Flo in the office.
"Once the painter is done we'll re-evaluate." - Yes. I am guessing we'll have to have Hawthorne total access ex the office.
"And as a side note, I don't mind if the French door gets scratched. We can paint it. If it would be helpful for some type of intro time then I'm happy to test it out.
"And one other note - Hawthorne was out in the main room and Florence starting banging on the door of her room to get out (she also knows to stick her paw under) and Hawthorne came FLYING over to the door to see what the matter was. To his credit, he didn't snort or hiss, but he was very concerned about the noise. Sometimes I'm like, Hawthorne, you know she's here!" - I wonder if he was worried about her? Doesn't sound that bad at all.
"Sometimes he seems so chill and other times it's like he has entirely forgotten about her presence and then is caught off guard by it." - That is normal, he is still adjusting. And he has had some issues that make it a bit harder for him (and cats that went through what he went through).
I am actually really happy how he is doing. I have been viewing him as the key so so far so good.
Hi, yes, thank you. I hope you all are as well.
Okay thank you will do! I'll try to do more play time with both and then treats after, monitor room swapping (as you suggested) and see how they do.
I'll try to take one of the room swap; and one just out in the house so you can see her body language. I agree with your assessment though - I think both have done well in the move, with Florie being just a little more unsettled than expected but she's had more disruption in a shorter period of time and has only been with us five months. Hawthorne is doing well too though still is uncertain around new noises etc (and my stepkids and the extra noise today has scared him a bit but he'll adjust). I am so sorry for the delayed response. I couldn;t access the website.Okay thank you will do! I'll try to do more play time with both and then treats after, monitor room swapping (as you suggested) and see how they do.
I don't think she would jump the gate if Hawthorne were on the other side. The jumping only occurs if the other side is clear. Interestingly, Hawthorne has never tried to jump the gate. It seems like it hasn't occurred to him. He jumps on other things (i.e. the kitchen island) which are HIGHER than the gate, so it isn't like he isn't able.
In terms of her growling at his smell, I sense it's her "uncertain" growl - same as her regular growl. She did it a couple of times at our old house too in the beginning when she felt confronted with something new or uncertain - Hawthorne's smell once and someone coming to the house once. This week we'll get into a regular routine so I'll be able to see if that stays the same or if she stops growling at his smell. Technically speaking when she growled it was also her first time in that particular room (so the entire thing was new to her plus his smell) and it was the first time he had been in her room. So hopefully it improves.
In terms of safe handling, so far she seems safe - she growls when I try to trim her back nails so that hasn't been successful. And I'm a bit jumpy because both Hawthorne and my previous cat Tennyson would lash out if scared/nail trim/something they didn't like. But she has never shown any direct aggression to me.
And I'll aim for some more videos! I've been negligent in that regard, sorry.
So to sum up: for this week, focus on individual confidence. Play, treats, reassuring words, etc.
" - It is ok. Hello!! Yes the website was down for a few days - I was like, noooooooo! I need my cat advice, hahaha.I am so sorry for the delayed response. I couldn;t access the website.
"Okay thank you will do! I'll try to do more play time with both and then treats after, monitor room swapping (as you suggested) and see how they do." - Perfect.
"I don't think she would jump the gate if Hawthorne were on the other side." - OK, good, that was my sense. BUT as she gets more comfortable with him she may. :/
" The jumping only occurs if the other side is clear. Interestingly, Hawthorne has never tried to jump the gate. It seems like it hasn't occurred to him." - That is good.I suspect he choses not to because he knows she is there. But.............
" He jumps on other things (i.e. the kitchen island) which are HIGHER than the gate, so it isn't like he isn't able." - Yes, he could but I suspect he choses not to which is actually good.
"In terms of her growling at his smell, I sense it's her "uncertain" growl - same as her regular growl. She did it a couple of times at our old house too in the beginning when she felt confronted with something new or uncertain - Hawthorne's smell once and someone coming to the house once." - Yes. Given she does not have her front claws she is more defenseless so the growling is to try to stop something before it escalates into something she can't really defend. It makes sense.
"This week we'll get into a regular routine so I'll be able to see if that stays the same or if she stops growling at his smell." - Great
"Technically speaking when she growled it was also her first time in that particular room (so the entire thing was new to her plus his smell) and it was the first time he had been in her room. So hopefully it improves." - Yes, I am not worried about the growling. And yes, it will improve.
"In terms of safe handling, so far she seems safe" - Ok
" - she growls when I try to trim her back nails so that hasn't been successful." - Yep, happens all the time. :/
" And I'm a bit jumpy because both Hawthorne and my previous cat Tennyson would lash out if scared/nail trim/something they didn't like." - Understandable. Best to be safe.
"But she has never shown any direct aggression to me." - Great
"And I'll aim for some more videos! I've been negligent in that regard, sorry.
"I'll try to take one of the room swap; and one just out in the house so you can see her body language." - Perfect
" I agree with your assessment though - I think both have done well in the move, with Florie being just a little more unsettled than expected but she's had more disruption in a shorter period of time and has only been with us five months. Hawthorne is doing well too though still is uncertain around new noises etc (and my stepkids and the extra noise today has scared him a bit but he'll adjust)." - Great, I think they are doing great.
"So to sum up: for this week, focus on individual confidence. Play, treats, reassuring words, etc." - Perfect. I am interested to hear how they are doing. I suspect they did just fine.
"PS Right now Florie is sleeping in my lap inside my shirt. She loves to be snuggled into things. I look like I'm pregnant with an alien hahaha.It makes me laugh. She's grooming now - inside my shirt." - Awwwwwwwww, LOVE!!!!
I'm glad it's back up and running.I know. I actually had anxiety over not being able to access the site.Hello!! Yes the website was down for a few days - I was like, noooooooo! I need my cat advice, hahaha.
Quick update: both cats are good. I'd say we're roughly back to where we were at the old house. Florie does playtime and looks confident to me with a happy tail and good body language (she's only uncertain when new people come to the door, like for deliveries - she doesn't seem to care for that) and Hawthorne is doing well too - he does some playtime and has a few places he likes to sleep. He's still anxious but it seems no better and no worse - same as it was before the move.
She hasn't growled again in his room and goes in there easily enough in the afternoon with a treat or two. She's found a place high up in the closet she likes to sleep. He happily sleeps on her bed in the office when it's his time to be out - he does this voluntarily so he can be near me.
He's back to crying again (at times) when he's locked in his room. She still growls at him when he's right outside the door and he snorts/snuffs when she's right outside the door.
So I think we've basically re-set to exactly where we were before the move.
I think we're ready for some visual access or some next step.
I had someone come to the house today and trim their nails, so we're good on that front. I'm debating starting some treats through the gate or using the french door, or just going right to it in-person and see what happens. I'm not sure.
Great questions! In terms of their closed door interactions: she sometimes tries to bat at his paw when she can see him poking it under the door. That's when she is out and he is in. She can be distracted IMMEDIATELY. That's pretty much the same as before.I know. I actually had anxiety over not being able to access the site.
"Quick update: both cats are good." - Great
" I'd say we're roughly back to where we were at the old house." - Great
"Florie does playtime and looks confident to me with a happy tail and good body language (she's only uncertain when new people come to the door, like for deliveries - she doesn't seem to care for that)" - Perfect, she sounds like she is over the move.
" and Hawthorne is doing well too - he does some playtime and has a few places he likes to sleep. He's still anxious but it seems no better and no worse - same as it was before the move." - Great
"She hasn't growled again in his room and goes in there easily enough in the afternoon with a treat or two. She's found a place high up in the closet she likes to sleep. He happily sleeps on her bed in the office when it's his time to be out - he does this voluntarily so he can be near me." - FANTASTIC!!! Ok, this is really good!!
"He's back to crying again (at times) when he's locked in his room." - Yes, I knew that was going to happen. Means he is feeling pretty good about being out and about.
" She still growls at him when he's right outside the door and he snorts/snuffs when she's right outside the door." - Yes. Is there any forward movement? Swatting? Etc?
"So I think we've basically re-set to exactly where we were before the move." - Ok
"I think we're ready for some visual access or some next step." - Agreed
"I had someone come to the house today and trim their nails, so we're good on that front." - Great
"I'm debating starting some treats through the gate or using the french door, or just going right to it in-person and see what happens. I'm not sure. " - Well, how they are doing makes it a more difficult choice. IF they were doing not so great I would have said gate/french doors but now I am wondering if we do face to face in the office. Hmmmmmmmm, I need to think. Are there any places in the office that could be "traps"? Meaning a place where she or he might go and can't escape? Under something, etc?
Great questions! In terms of their closed door interactions:Great questions! In terms of their closed door interactions: she sometimes tries to bat at his paw when she can see him poking it under the door. That's when she is out and he is in. She can be distracted IMMEDIATELY. That's pretty much the same as before.
When she is in her room and fussing the door and he is out, he sometimes tries to grab at the gate and rattle it a bit if she's making noise or fussing at the door. It's hard to tell if it's playful or a bit aggressive - it goes with his snorting and his fur is a little bit on end on his back. That's also the same as before.
That's literally the extent of their interactions. When he is in the room and crying she generally completely ignores it.
In terms of meeting/next steps:
The office is fairly small, that's the only thing. There is a bed that she could go under and possibly be cornered, although the bed has an open bottom all around so cornering her under it would be almost just the same as cornering her without the bed. Everything else is open.
Same basically goes for the main living area. The only trap is the sofa - either one could go under although there are multiple escapes out from under the sofa. Everything else is open and there are lots of height options - the table, the island, the counter so one could watch the other safely from a distance. It's a big room.
Would seeing each other through the french door just lead to hissing/swatting at the glass? Because then I could see maybe playing with one in the room with the French door and the other gets to be out and about and they can see each other but hopefully be distracted. And then maybe switching the next time.
Obviously part of me is tempted to just bite the bullet and see how it goes in-person and the other part is scared. But I have to remember this part is a process too - short first meeting, then longer, and so on. It doesn't have to perfect right away.
" - Ok" - Oh, thank you. It was not your fault and luckily we left it without open questions. But I always worry if something negative happens. :/ BUT it didn't. The week has gone as I hoped/expected. Whew!!! It is just the unknown. :/
