6 Yr Old Cat Super Anxious And Scared With Arrival Of 13 Week Kitten, Advice?

[BubzaLuna]

Day 9 update : we have finally stabilised peace so long as encounters are on resident cats terms. She doesn't mind the kitten being around her so long as she doesn't acknowledge her, get too close or make her jump. Kitten freaked her out a little earlier which caused resident cat to swat her but she did walk off, and my partner has let them wander freely today with only that one incident, he said they'd been close loads today and resident cat didn't care at all. Definitely improving, as we have established that resident cat doesn't actually want to hurt her, she's just not realising that the kitten won't hurt her, which is a shame as the kitten has made it very clear that she knows who is in charge (she literally bows to resident cat when she enters the room).

 

[BubzaLuna]

Hi all it has been a couple days so I thought I'd update you! The cats are now fine in a room together , supervised and resident cat is no longer being super anxious. She will eat Infront of the kitten and play, which she would not do last week. There is still an issue when the kitten gets too close to resident cat, resident cat just doesn't like it unless she is the one being approached. They have sniffed noses again and there was only a meow from resident cat when the kitten moved backwards, and since then there hasn't been anymore swatting . About 20 minutes ago resident cat came in the lounge and the kitten tried to pounce her, just to play I think, which made resident cat jump and she meowed, but no growl or hiss.

Things are improving, slowly and I have come to terms with the fact I don't think resident cat is ever going to really like the kitten lol but she has started to tolerate her, the last hurdle is getting resident cat to show she is the boss without being terrified. Once she realises she has nothing to be scared of I think she will be fine.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Hi all it has been a couple days so I thought I'd update you! The cats are now fine in a room together , supervised and resident cat is no longer being super anxious. She will eat Infront of the kitten and play, which she would not do last week. There is still an issue when the kitten gets too close to resident cat, resident cat just doesn't like it unless she is the one being approached. They have sniffed noses again and there was only a meow from resident cat when the kitten moved backwards, and since then there hasn't been anymore swatting . About 20 minutes ago resident cat came in the lounge and the kitten tried to pounce her, just to play I think, which made resident cat jump and she meowed, but no growl or hiss.

Things are improving, slowly and I have come to terms with the fact I don't think resident cat is ever going to really like the kitten lol but she has started to tolerate her, the last hurdle is getting resident cat to show she is the boss without being terrified. Once she realises she has nothing to be scared of I think she will be fine.

Sorry made a typo. Was meant to say "unless she is the one (resident cat) doing the approaching."

 

[rubysmama]

I have come to terms with the fact I don't think resident cat is ever going to really like the kitten

She may never really like the "kitten", but once the kitten grows up to be an adult cat, I suspect they will be best buds.

 

[BubzaLuna]

So both kitty's have been downstairs alot today, managed to get them both sitting on me/next to me so I could give them a stroke at the same time, also played with them both at the same time but with different toys. Big cat has gone to the kitten a few times today, twice to sniff her with one being followed up with a meow and a swat (she didn't follow it up with anything else and just walked away after) and the other with just a meow. She's also approached the kitten a few times simply to have ago at her lol she's a huge bully with no back bone! Things have calmed down so much since we got the kitten last saturday, I got quite emotional today when they were sat 1/2ft apart and I was able to stroke both as well as give them treats, made me really hopeful. I honestly thought we'd have to give the kitten up when I saw how resident cat was after the first few days of having the kitten.

Just to ease my mind so I can relax alot more when they are having close encounters, do you think by the sounds of things that the big cat doesn't intend to kill or anything serious like that? That's still my irrational worry, so maybe you guys could ease it a little. She usually just sits and stares at the kitten or lays down and watches, I've not witnessed any predatory behaviour, mainly just fear with a few moments of bullying dominance. Thanks :-)

 

[ArtNJ]

Well it is not irrational for a first time owner to worry about stuff. However, there was close to zero danger the big cat would attack the kitten with intent to injure in the first place, and that is gone now. At this point, it would be a good thing if she decided to whump the kitten around a little. It might scare the heck out of ya, but it would either be playful or appropriately dominating to teach the kitten to give some space, and either way a great sign.

You might have problems down the road when the kitten gets big, but that would be a whole separate issue. As for now, there is always a tiny chance of a setback, if for example someone accidentally gets caught with a nail, or something really scary happens when they are tussling (i.e. a loud noise or something falling near them), but that kind of stuff can be an issue at any time. Nothing to worry about per se.

 

[rubysmama]

I've never introduced cats, but I've read enough threads here to feel as though that was an excellent update. Fingers crossed things continue in the right direction.

 

[chelsea.troy]

You're not alone. I'm having similar issues, and it's been 2 weeks with them predominately in separate rooms. I hope it stays on this trend for you; I'm having all the same feelings you did.

 

[pearl99]

At this point, it would be a good thing if she decided to whump the kitten around a little.

This comment is too funny. This is exactly what happened with my two, Waffles periodically reminds Mooshoo that he's in charge, and did it when I brought Moo home at 12 weeks of age. Has been over a year, and he still does it at times. They get along fine.
Just reading the entire thread, things do sound good.

 

[BubzaLuna]

You're not alone. I'm having similar issues, and it's been 2 weeks with them predominately in separate rooms. I hope it stays on this trend for you; I'm having all the same feelings you did.

It's really scary isn't it?! I remember I found it hard to get attached to the kitten the first few days because in the back of my mind I just kept thinking she'd have to go because of resident cats behaviour. Don't give up, people have said it can takes weeks and weeks to even months!

Little update: resident cat is really starting to act like a big boss now and I hope it's just her laying out the dominance. Today she walked through her little orange cat tunnel and gave the kitten a plonk on the head with a mean meow, followed up with another raised paw before walking out. I believe she's over her fears now and is simply being mean lol. Hoping this phase won't last long as I am really struggling to watch kitten get hit by this big bully!

 

[pearl99]

It's really scary isn't it?! I remember I found it hard to get attached to the kitten the first few days because in the back of my mind I just kept thinking she'd have to go because of resident cats behaviour. Don't give up, people have said it can takes weeks and weeks to even months!

Little update: resident cat is really starting to act like a big boss now and I hope it's just her laying out the dominance. Today she walked through her little orange cat tunnel and gave the kitten a plonk on the head with a mean meow, followed up with another raised paw before walking out. I believe she's over her fears now and is simply being mean lol. Hoping this phase won't last long as I am really struggling to watch kitten get hit by this big bully!

I think Kitten will learn to accept and stand up over time. Kitten is still pretty small. To me this sounds like normal "boss cat" teaching the Kitten who's in charge- boss cat just walked away and didn't start a fight. They do this to establish household order. Is exactly what my Waffles (resident cat) did. If Resident is not all out attacking and doing damage, and is letting the kitten eat, drink, use the litter box, wander around the house it's okay. Resident may just ignore Kitten and not want to play at this point.
Make sure the kitten has places to retreat to and hide from Resident when needs to.
If the kitten decides to try to be boss at some point later and challenge the Resident there will be noise, but I'm not experienced with that.
With my two it took about a month before I could leave them alone together. Mooshoo (kitten) watched Waffles and deferred to him, and eventually started tempting him to play and then the fun began with pouncing, chasing, play etc. Still Waffles will make her leave "his spots" in the house and on the bed and sometimes she's had enough and smacks him back, and stays put. He (Waffles) listens at that point and gives up.
Sounds good!! Cats sound awful to us and look really mean, but with no damage and if they are able to watch each other and be together it's a good situation. Play may or may not come.

 

[ArtNJ]

Thwoks on the head and routine growl/hiss is routine communication between cats that aren't friends yet. Thwoks on the head with maybe a brief growl or hiss can be a big cat saying "you must learn to stay away from me!" Sometimes the big cat will add in a pin and even make the kitten squeal. Its just normal and not a big deal. It doesn't usually come from a "bully" place -- rather its insecurity and a desire for space.

Might want to trim the older cats nails, but other than that you can let them be.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Quick question. Kitten and cat were just sat upstairs on the landing, less than a ft apart, and suddenly resident cat smacked the kitten on the head then just left lol. She didn't growl, hiss or meow. Is this still just her being the dominant cat and teaching the kitten her place? It seemed really weird cause usually her smacks her followed with a meow or growl etc.

 

[ArtNJ]

She was probably feeling mildly crowded, maybe not enough to move instantly but it was bugging her a little, and so did a "give me space I don't like you yet" smack as she got up to walk away. No biggy at all.

Cats *do* whap each other on the head in play sometimes. In college I had two stacks of milk crates and one cat would stand on one stack, the other would get on the other stack, and they would repeatedly whap the heck out of each other on the head like a crazy game of whack-a-mole. But your situation doesn't sound like play to me, so file my rambling under random-unneeded stories

 

[BubzaLuna]

Huge update you guys: So tonight we got them eating together, literally mm from eachother!!! The kitten even invaded the resident cats food bowl whilst resident cat was eating from it, and she only lifted her paw with a tiny growl after a few seconds of the kitten badgering her. I couldn't believe it! Resident cat is now being super inquisitive of the kitten, following her around everywhere she goes. Earlier resident cat chased the kitten up the stairs so I went up about 30 seconds later and there was no fighting, resident cat had a bit of a puffed up tail but she gets this when shes playful or aggressive and given the fact there was no growling or attacking I think they were playing. When I came up stairs resident cat left the room and the kitten wiggled her bum and pounced on resident cats tail, resident cat flinched but kept walking!

 

[pearl99]

Awww that sounds exceptionally wonderful. My cat Mooshoo fuzzes up her tail sometimes when she's playing with her toys!
Such a good thing that res. cat just flinching with her tail was attacked
I hope resident cat decides it would be fun to play chase-pounce-stalk games.

 

[rubysmama]

Awwww... that's so wonderful.

 

[BubzaLuna]

They've been good again today. Big cat earlier snuck up on kitten whilst she was asleep in her little den on the cat tower and just decided to smack her on the head lol then kitten was chasing cat around which would be followed a bit after with a meow and "get away from me" swat and then after about half hour of kitten chasing resident cat around playfully she got swatted and hissed at so she stopped. They ate right next to eachother again tonight and I've just had them on the bed with me eating treats either side of me! We also left all doors open today whilst we went out for 15 minutes and when we came back they were fine, no fighting and both were downstairs. Resident cat is super interested and will follow the kitten when she goes for a wander about, kitten also follows resident cat. I think it's helped that the kitten is scared of resident cat anymore, because when she used to get swatted she'd cower and hide. Now she lays down for a minute before going in for me lmao!

 

[BubzaLuna]

Isn't scared of resident cat* sorry .

 

[BubzaLuna]

Grrrr damn auto correct! Was meant to say as well at the end - now she lays down for a minute before going in for more*