6 Yr Old Cat Super Anxious And Scared With Arrival Of 13 Week Kitten, Advice?

[BubzaLuna]

Hi everyone

Decided to sign up and get as many opinions as possible on the progression and behavior of my adult cat with mine and my partners new kitten. A little background on the adult: She's 6 years old, indoor and hasn't been around other animals as we haven't had pets before. Personality wise she takes very nicely to people when she knows them but is temperamental with strangers, so if someone comes over that she hasn't loads and loads of time with she can be quite funny if they "over pet her".

So yesterday we brought home a beautiful 13 week kitten, she is british long (adult cat is british short) and she is a total bundle of joy. She loves snuggles, playtime and constantly purrs. She's already attached herself to me and my partner as she cannot bear it when one of us leaves the room. Now we wanted first my adult cat to just be able to smell the kitten, which she was able to do right away. Immediately she was hissing and growling when she came near the door the kitten was behind and then ran away petrified. She secluded herself for the whole day yesterday in our spare room and me and my partner were going to see her every 20 minutes to give her a fuss, treats and playtime. First few times I saw her she would meow and strike at me (only ever does this when she's stressed) and did the same to my partner, after a while she calmed down and was letting us pet her and give her a stroke, though would become irritated quite quickly and threaten with the paw. Then last night my partner took the kitten to bed and shut the door, which immediately my adult cat came downstairs and wanted to come in the living room which was now open. She wasn't stressed or anything, just very inquisitive with her nose, sniffing absolutely everything. We had a play with "hand under the blanket" and she had some more treats, then i went to bed in the spare room and she came in with me but sat at the door. During the night the kitten was crying so my partner asked if we could switch (he hadn't slept) so we did, our adult cat then decided she wanted to get on the spare room bed with him and have a cuddle and purr. This morning I sat with the kitten in our spare room and let the adult have free roam around the house again, she was ok just sniffing about, I then had to go out to work so my boyfriend was left alone. When I came out he told me that the adult had gone quite aggressive again, attacked him a few times, so when I got home I went straight upstairs to be with her and she was completely fine with me. We played, had a stroke and gave her some treats. My boyfriend again tried to go and see her and she struck at him three times, so after this we put her in the spare room and shut the door so she could calm down. Just as my boyfriend was going to bed we found this forum online where someone had suggested putting a sock on your hand and rubbing it round the kittens face for the resident cat to smell, so I did this, the reaction was horrifying. My adult cat smelt it for a few seconds before jumping back and hissing/growling, I then couldn't put my hand near her. I left her again to calm down and went back in and she was a bit better, took some treats from my hands and ate them, she also smelt the sock that I left on the floor and didn't react to it, just moved on. So that leads up to the now, she's currently roaming the house as the kitten is in bed with my partner and I'm downstairs writing this long post (sorry), I'm going to sleep with her down here tonight.

So now you know how the past 24 hours have been, would you say my cat has reacted normally? I'd also like to add that we have bought 3 new beds, 4 new bowls, a new litter tray, loads of new toys and two of those Feliway plug in things (I don't think they have done anything and we've had them on since 11am this morning). It's very alarming to see and to be honest I'm feeling really sad, I always tell people she's my kitty soul mate so to see her growl and hiss at me (which she has never done) has really upset me, she must be feeling super angsty and scared which is an even worse thought! So yeah, any thoughts/advice would be fantastic

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. And congrats on the new kitten. Sorry your resident cat isn't happy about her new sibling.

And, yes, it is quite common for an adult cat to react badly to a new cat, even when it's a kitten.

Here's a TCS article called How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat which should have lots of tips for you.

Plus How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite
Introducing Cats To Cats | TheCatSite
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction | TheCatSite

I'm pretty sure in time things will be fine. For now, though, keep telling your resident cat you love her and that she's not being replaced. And follow some of the cat introductions tips in the articles.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

 

[ArtNJ]

Normal is a range. This is within the range of normal, but definitely on the unfortunate side. It is not always necessary to do a full formal introduction process when the newcomer is a kitten, but here I think you should. So here is our guide:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

There is a separate guide for introducing kittens that you can find in the article tab above this site, but as far as I recall it doesn't add much to the specific situation you are in.

You may need a week or a couple of weeks before you move forward, and I would follow all the steps of the guide including the scent swapping and ultimately arranging it so they can see each other but not interact. Two methods for that, baby gates (sometimes double stacked is needed) or a cracked door (fixed in place with door jambs).

Big cats don't hurt kittens (biological hardwiring) so once you put them together, you mostly just ignore the noises and the older cat, perhaps slowly, gets it out of their system. Usually. Still, issues can persist, and you don't want the big cat to be stressed by the kitten in 6 months and wonder if a more fulsome introduction process would have helped. So I do recommend a fulsome introduction process here.

Its still possible they will end up friends. Its also possible that the big cat will never like the kitten and will be going out of the way to avoid it for months/years, with the periodic spat with noises and defensive swats if the kitten doesn't get the message. But even in that scenario, things do improve some over time.

Good luck! Come back with questions anytime. When you start letting them spend together you might have more questions for sure.

 

[ArtNJ]

As far as the redirected aggression (that is the term for when a stressed cat lashes out at whoever is nearby) your best off just giving your cat some space if you can tell from the body language that he is feeling stressed by the kitten. You don't need to comfort your cat physically -- give him space. Sure, you can try distraction, but what is really going to drive the introduction process is time. As long as you don't have children, this shouldn't be a big deal. As the introduction process goes on, the stress level should go down (at least till face to face starts).

 

[BubzaLuna]

Normal is a range. This is within the range of normal, but still on the unfortunate side. It is not always necessary to do a full formal introduction process when the newcomer is a kitten, but here I think you should. So here is our guide:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

There is a separate guide for introducing kittens that you can find in the article tab above this site, but as far as I recall it doesn't add much to the specific situation you are in.

You may need a week or a couple of weeks before you move forward, and I would follow all the steps of the guide including the scent swapping and ultimately arranging it so they can see each other but not interact. Two methods for that, baby gates (sometimes double stacked is needed) or a cracked door (fixed in place with door jambs).

Big cats don't hurt kittens (biological hardwiring) so once you put them together, you mostly just ignore the noises and the older cat, perhaps slowly, gets it out of their system. Usually. Still, issues can persist, and you don't want the big cat to be stressed by the kitten in 6 months and wonder if a more fulsome introduction process would have helped. So I do recommend a fulsome introduction process here.

Its still possible they will end up friends. Its also possible that the big cat will never like the kitten and will be going out of the way to avoid it for months/years, with the periodic spat with noises and defensive swats if the kitten doesn't get the message. But even in that scenario, things do improve some over time.

Good luck! Come back with questions anytime. When you start letting them spend together you might have more questions for sure.

Thanks to you both for your replies! My anxiety is eased a little with your comment about Cats not harming kittens due to hard wiring, but this has lead me to a question (and it may seem stupid lol) but due to my cat not having exposure to other cats outside of just seeing them come in the garden, will she actually know the kitten is just like her? Would the hard wiring still exist since she hasn't been around a cat since 10 weeks old? Thanks

 

[BubzaLuna]

As far as the redirected aggression (that is the term for when a stressed cat lashes out at whoever is nearby) your best off just giving your cat some space if you can tell from the body language that he is feeling stressed by the kitten. You don't need to comfort your cat physically -- give him space. Sure, you can try distraction, but what is really going to drive the introduction process is time. As long as you don't have children, this shouldn't be a big deal. As the introduction process goes on, the stress level should go down (at least till face to face starts).

Thanks for the comment! The reason I've been trying to comfort her so much is because a lot of people online have said if we change her routine or act differently with her it could cause feelings of jealousy and resentment.

 

[ArtNJ]

Thanks for the comment! The reason I've been trying to comfort her so much is because a lot of people online have said if we change her routine or act differently with her it could cause feelings of jealousy and resentment.

Likely there is something to that in general, but with a cat showing redirected aggression, you want to give them space when they are visibly stressed. I don't think it helps anything to have them lash out at you, even leaving aside the risk of scratches. So focus on the cues and give her some space when she is in hyper-vigilance mode. In my experience, when cats are like that they just ignore anything positive you try to do, be it toys, treats or a soft voice. Its unfortunately something they need to work through. You can still give extra love and comfort when you are certain they aren't in this mode. And, of course, if the cat is hiding, you can try shaking the treat bag or using a toy to investigate whether they are willing & of the proper mindset to interact.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Likely there is something to that in general, but with a cat showing redirected aggression, you want to give them space when they are visibly stressed. I don't think it helps anything to have them lash out at you, even leaving aside the risk of scratches. So focus on the cues and give her some space when she is in hyper-vigilance mode. In my experience, when cats are like that they just ignore anything positive you try to do, be it toys, treats or a soft voice. Its unfortunately something they need to work through. You can still give extra love and comfort when you are certain they aren't in this mode.

Awesome advice, thanks so much!

I'm very happy as she has just come down to eat the tuna I put in her bowl earlier which she just licked initially and wouldn't eat, so she has definitely distressed since kitten has gone to bed and it's just me and her awake.

 

[ArtNJ]

Glad to hear it. As crazy as it sounds, in the very extreme cases, cats can get so stressed by kittens there can be eating, litterbox or pulling out their own hair issues, but your situation sounds on the difficult but still manageable side.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[BubzaLuna]

A little update -

Today upon going into my bedroom where kitten was my adult cat saw her, so I left the door just a little open and kitten was meowing and pawing through the door to get out, all the while adult cat was sitting about 4ft away just watching, no aggression or anything, just watched. I left the bedroom and noticed a few minutes later that adult cat went to sniff under the door and again there was no aggression. However upon room swapping (putting adult cat in front room and letting kitten have the house) I may have pushed my luck by doing the visual through the crack of the door thing as when my adult cat saw the kitten again she was hissing and growling. She stood there as she did it looking at her and then just walked away. After this adult cat became a bit distressed and wanted to go back to her safe place in the spare room. She's calmed down a lot now and has just allowed my partner to stroke her properly, despite attacking him earlier (after the second visual). We will be leaving it a while now before they see eachother again, this morning through the bedroom started as an accident but ended going quite well, I think my optimism may have got the better of me with the second lol!

 

[ArtNJ]

I'd definitely go a bit slower. However, if cats don't actually fight, there is no backwards progress, or at least most of us think that is true. So no real harm done. As previously mentioned, its highly unlikely your cat would attack the kitten in any event, but still best to keep them apart till the big cat calms down some. Its expected that the big cat may hiss and defensive swat when the kitten gets too close, but hissing and redirected aggression from mere scent swapping or visual sighting from a distance means not ready.

 

[BubzaLuna]

I'd definitely go a bit slower. However, if cats don't actually fight, there is no backwards progress, or at least most of us think that is true. So no real harm done. As previously mentioned, its highly unlikely your cat would attack the kitten in any event, but still best to keep them apart till the big cat calms down some. Its expected that the big cat may hiss and defensive swat when the kitten gets too close, but hissing and redirected aggression from mere scent swapping or visual sighting from a distance means not ready.

Thanks for your comment

The resident cat is a lot calmer this afternoon, she's currently upstairs on her cat tree in the bedroom which is great as the kitten has also been climbing all over it, she's been purring as I stroked her and also had a little play with me on the staircase. I rubbed a kitchen cloth all over the kitten and laid it down with the adult cats food bowls on top of it and she has since been to her food and had a few bites, so I'm hoping that by putting the kittens smell by her food it will help associate the kittens scent with good things.

 

[rubysmama]

Sounds like you're doing everything right.

Continue to post updates. And if you have any pictures of them, feel free to post them.

How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

 

[BubzaLuna]

Hey all!

So I have some huge updates to give and I am absolutely over the moon with them I realize they are probably super small improvements but I honestly couldn't be happier lol! So after the hissing and growling episode this morning when my adult cat was behind the living room door, we separated them and have just been going up to give my resident cat lots of fuss and treats every 30 minutes or so all day. She hasn't attacked us again at all today, or hissed, or growled! She even let me comb her today which she attacked me for the night the kitten arrived. Anyway about 2 hours ago I put the kitten in the bathroom and shut the door whilst I went and sorted work stuff out for the morning and when I came back my resident cat was sat about 5ft away from the bathroom door just watching/listening. So I ended up getting this cat toy that has a stick on it and playing with it through the under bit of the door with the kitten, to which the kitten was moving her paw under the door and running around for the stick, all witnessed by my resident cat who just sat and watched. I then got a blanket out and was playing my resident cats favorite game "chase the hand" and she actually played with me, despite the kitten now being like 3ft away (resident cat had moved closer to the door to chase my hand)!!!!! I couldn't believe it! Then, about 40 minutes later as I was saying goodnight to my partner and kitten before coming back downstairs, resident cat had decided to be even braver and was still sitting by the room that had the kitten in. So we took a bit of a risk and decided to open the door just enough for resident cat to see in whilst my partner played with the kitten, and she just laid down at the top of the stairs watching the kitten play, no aggression, just watched. As I said at the start I'm sure these are tiny updates but considering she wouldn't even eat the day we got the kitten and was attacking us...for me it's huge! She's been completely herself today and has eaten loads, played loads and wandered about the house! I definitely think our spare room is currently her safe haven, she's so much calmer when she's in there or near it. We haven't let the kitten in there as we just wanted it to smell of resident cat so that's probably why.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Resident Cat is the beautiful British blue, her name is Baby. The little ball of white fluff is Luna!

 

[rubysmama]

Awww... Baby and Luna are both pawsitively precious.

As I said at the start I'm sure these are tiny updates but considering she wouldn't even eat the day we got the kitten and was attacking us...for me it's huge!

That is huge.

She's been completely herself today and has eaten loads, played loads and wandered about the house!

Excellent.

but this has lead me to a question (and it may seem stupid lol) but due to my cat not having exposure to other cats outside of just seeing them come in the garden, will she actually know the kitten is just like her? Would the hard wiring still exist since she hasn't been around a cat since 10 weeks old? Thanks

Just remembered reading this, and wanted to respond. Yes, I think she'll know the kitten is a cat, just like her. I think that because my Ruby girl sits looking out the window and simply watches dogs or birds. But when she sees a cat, she runs from one window to another trying to keep an eye on it. So I believe she knows the difference between another cat, and other animals.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Awww... Baby and Luna are both pawsitively precious.



That is huge.



Excellent.



Just remembered reading this, and wanted to respond. Yes, I think she'll know the kitten is a cat, just like her. I think that because my Ruby girl sits looking out the window and simply watches dogs or birds. But when she sees a cat, she runs from one window to another trying to keep an eye on it. So I believe she knows the difference between another cat, and other animals.

Thanks so much Baby is nicknamed princess by everyone as she's always getting what she wants and is over spoiled constantly lol (probably another reason she's finding it so hard to adjust). As for Luna she's just a total ball of sunshine, quite possibly the calmest /sweetest kitten I've ever met, so glad we found her when we did!

Thanks for answering that question by the way, appreciate it it probably sounds silly but I've always wondered it, whether she'd recognise her own kind. She's just come downstairs and joined me on the sofa for a bit for a stroke, she's now having a sniff around the room since Luna has been in here all day.

 

[rubysmama]

Who knows how they know. Probably hard-wired in their DNA. Ruby even knows what "cat" means, as I can say "Ruby, I see a cat", and she'll run to wherever I am to look out the window.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Who knows how they know. Probably hard-wired in their DNA. Ruby even knows what "cat" means, as I can say "Ruby, I see a cat", and she'll run to wherever I am to look out the window.

That's so adorable! About a month before we got the kitten I put a video on for baby of a kitten meowing and she got very maternal. She started pushing her head into me and licking me lol then she was walking around meowing trying to find the kitten! Now she has one that's constantly meowing and it annoys her

 

[rubysmama]

Now she has one that's constantly meowing and it annoys her