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Duly noted--and I shall.Just a note that if you do have issues with the site, like smilies loading, please post in the "Site Issues" forum about it so we are aware and can look into it. Thanks!
I suggest you vent here.My manager was able to pull someone from the main team (much to the of the supervisor for that team) to help for the next few months while I'm on work restrictions. We do have a new supervisor starting tomorrow and a new employee starting in 2 weeks but they'll be useless for at least a month while they go through all the trainings, both company required ones and department required ones, and settle into their new roles. Today was the first day I had help. Normally it takes all day to cover both facilities by one person and a lot just doesn't get done at all. Today we got done just before noon After lunch, we had to clear out space and get supplies ready so that tomorrow I can fill those spaces up with more of the lab's projects My back isn't as painful as it normally is on Sundays.
I'll be heading out soon. I still have no energy to deal with my family It's good to know that taking a break from the drama is perfectly ok. Any suggestions on how I can deal with the guilt-tripping that will eventually happen?
Another idea is to deflect, not engage. They start the sob story, reply with something like "By the way, did you hear blah news story?" Don't respond to it, a response will feed into it, change the subject. Now if they push, if they get aggressive and nasty, then state once "I will not stay and be treated this way." and then deflect. If they continue, make good on your statement and leave.
If you do this consistently, yeah it'll get worse at first as they try to pull you back into your old role, but then it'll get better.
I was worried that they wouldn't. I just don't have a positive experience with HR. I was actually on work restrictions 2 years ago when I returned from surgery but it wasn't exactly official. My then-supervisor said I didn't need to let HR or the health service office know. Maybe the policy has changed since then, I don't know.
Simply walking can be enough to send pain shooting up my lower back I have to go to physical therapy to work out the issues with my back and hips. It's written in HR's accomodation approval letter that I am allowed to take time off from work to go to PT.
Mom wanted me to go over for dinner tonight. I declined. She made up excuses for my Dad's behavior last time which is just BS She always has an excuse for everything. My patience dealing with the constant drama and other issues has run out. I have no doubt that a good part of my lifelong anxiety issues is a result of growing up in an unhealthy, negative, drama filled environment.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to tell you the first thing they told me in training for my current job: YOU first, TEAM second. (Unspoken is: LIFE--DOES NOT EXIST.) The reasoning behind this is: if you can't function properly, you're letting the team down.I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. If you have medical problems, get it all in writing and make it all official. That way you have ADA protection. If you have ADA protection then you have a whole lot of protections. They can't make you do something you can't do, and they can't punish you either. And if there's even a hint of retaliation ("Oh gee, you clocked in 30 seconds too late, we're writing you up. We don't care someone else was 2 minutes too late.") then the EEOC is going to be your friend. Also, you don't have to take FMLA as a block, you can take off as needed once you are on FMLA and they can't punish/retaliate for that either.
And don't do what I did last year. If I had been smart and selfish I'd have gone on FMLA and told the company to kiss my . Instead I knew they were short-staffed so I did my best to stay on until my moving day. I ended up with a lot more physical pain and suffering, I got in trouble for going to the ER because they were short-staffed, I got in trouble for a money mistake when I was high as a kite on the feel-good drugs because I wasn't allowed to stay home after going to the ER, I got in trouble for not filing my folders when my doctor flat out said no use of the right hand and arm including no filing, I got in trouble when I said that a co-worker I was training couldn't simply unplug my mouse and plug hers in to switch from left-handed to right-handed configuration, and in the end I left the company on really bad terms because I couldn't deal with all the stress on top of the physical pain and ended up having a nervous breakdown. (I had gotten in trouble for not filing despite the doctor's restriction. I was closing the office that night with someone else, someone sympathetic, and I told him that I didn't know if I was going to show up in the morning and gave him my keys, and then I covered my desk in sticky notes as to what was what in case I didn't come back. An hour later during the drive home I first called my husband and discussed it with him and then I left a message with HR that I was not ever coming back and who had my keys.) I actually was on FMLA at the end, but I tried to take off as needed because they were short-staffed instead of putting myself first and them a far, far last.
I don't know why, but knowing what I know (and I only have technical school anatomy and physiology to go on, so I could be wrong), but I don't think you're going to get that independence back.Five years ago (practically to the day) I slipped and fell and broke my left forearm in three places. It had to be repaired surgically and is now held together with little titanium screws and plates, and it was in a cast for months (which I mean literally -- it's not hyperbole). While it was in the cast, the ligaments got shorter, so that when it came out of the cast it was clenched in a fist and I was in danger of bed sores from my fingernails growing into my palms. Occupational therapy got it to finally unclench; more O.T. got it to the point where the wrist is strong enough that I can now use it to support myself by leaning on a banister. The fingers are straight enough now that I can once again get my wedding ring over the knuckle. They aren't straight enough for me to clap my hands normally; I have to do it sideways, right hand against just the palm of my left hand. And the little finger isn't strong enough to control thread tension so that I can crochet or tat (both of which I've done from childhood).
At this point I have no health insurance, which means no more O.T., but I do have a clue about what I need to do. Right now the best exercise for that hand is practicing my guitar, and I've finally gotten the physical environment set up properly for guitar practice. I found a beautiful triptych style mirror, with beveled edges that grab the light and throw off rainbows, for $35 at Goodwill, and I now have it mounted securely on the wall across from the chair I sit in to practice, because it's much better to look in the mirror than to crane down to get a good look at the hand. I've made a new elastic guitar strap that holds it in the best position for playing, even when I'm seated. I still have the nice guitarist's foot rest that I bought in the late '80s, and the guitar stand, and most importantly I still have my guitar with the beautiful tone. And I found the music for the lovely étude my guitar teacher wrote for me, to show off with. I worked on it the other day, expecting a total disaster, and was astonished to discover that I can still make all but one of the chords (even the one that requires a half bar), and the one that I can't quite make will work okay if I just ignore the alternate bass note. And I'm now all the way up to 5 minutes of practice before my wrist hurts too much to continue! (I know, that sounds like a really short practice session, but numerous short practice sessions are actually more effective than the same total amount of time spent in just one or two longer sessions. And besides, while I'm getting my callouses back the sessions were bound to be short anyhow.)
There's just one thing that I don't understand about how my hand is working, and this is as good a place as any to ask, I think, since I no longer have an occupational therapist. Finger independence is always a bit of a problem for musicians because the nerves that control the little finger and the ring finger branch off from a single nerve. Guitar students are told horror stories about Robert Schumann, who destroyed his hands and his career as a pianist by using some novel exercises to try to develop true independence of those two fingers. (The stories are apparently not true, but the cautionary tales persist: 1 • Schumann’s Hand « Pianist to Pianist, by Jura Margulis.) However, since my injury this lack of finger independence also involves the middle finger of my left hand. Do any of you folks with more medical knowledge than I have know why this would be?
Margret
More research!My guess would be that it's a ligament/tendon/muscle problem and not a nerve problem. Humans tend to use the thumb and first finger a lot more than they use the middle, ring and little finger, and that usage would cause more practice in re-attaining full control. And muscle memory is a very real thing, something that would have been greatly diminished or completely forgotten over months of non-use. You're likely still at a point where the hand must move as one while the brain is figuring out all the individual sensations that will lead to full individual control.
I found smell to work as a good deterrent. Whatever area (and in our house that was just the kitchen and the counters) that I didn't want the cats getting on or into, I cleaned with ammonia (which all of them hate the smell of--Rose actually enjoyed the smell of citrus, for some strange reason) and had no further problems.I have heard of people soaking their cats, and yeah, that's not cool. Shadow and Montressor simply don't engage in behaviors that I feel are dangerous or damaging. I find that most cats don't have damaging/destructive behaviors. Midway had three, we're down to one. The first one was him jumping on the stove. He has absolutely no way of knowing if the stove is cold or if it's just recently turned off and still hot, so that needed fixing. Cheap plastic table mats with double-sided sticky tape on the top side that I left on the stove cured him of that. The blinds, we're just about done with that. The last one is his penchant for knocking stuff off high places in the wee hours of the morning. More annoyance than anything usually, but we can't get rid of every glass item in the house and shattered glass is both damage and destructive. (I threw out the very nice glass drinking glasses since my husband couldn't seem to remember to NOT put one on the bathroom counter before bed.) I'm also afraid of him deciding to knock things like smartphones off or him tipping a glass on the electronics instead of on the floor or him knocking random stuff over when he bolts after I throw the covers off (which tricks him into thinking I'm getting out of bed). Since he does bolt when he thinks I'm getting up, I also worry when he does find something to shatter he's going to get glass splinters in his paws while running when I get up to deal with cleaning up the glass.
Duly noted.arouetta , we're cross-posting. So, okay, one thing at a time.
Yes, feline physics experiments can be very worrisome. I've never found a way to break a cat of pushing things off. We used to tell Floppy "No physics experiments." She knew what we were talking about and she'd stop, until we weren't looking. If the glass (or whatever) was still there, she'd push it off. I have a lovely crocheted lace runner that my mother made to go on top of my treadle sewing machine (when closed), and I can't use it for fear of a cat pulling it off, along with anything on top of it, and snagging it in the bargain.
I think you missed my point about abuse. I wasn't talking about soaking a cat, I was talking about routinely using any training method that involves punishment (which is what a spritz of water is) when you already know that it won't work.
And I can think of one scenario where soaking, specifically with a hose or a bucket of water, is appropriate and not abusive -- if you need to break up a cat or cat/dog fight that is reaching dangerous levels. But the intention there isn't punishment, it's startling the participants out of fight mode, without getting hurt yourself.
Margret
Roger's sister has a sleep schedule similar to mine -- she tends to stay up late at night and get up late in the morning. Grandma Neva used to call her at around 5:00 a.m. to ask "What are you doing?" "Sleeping, Grandma." "Well why aren't you scrubbing the stairs?" (or whatever the current bee in her bonnet was).
After several months of this my S.I.L. finally got fed up and called Grandma Neva just before going to bed. "Hi, Grandma. What are you doing?" "Sleeping! Do you know what time it is?!" "Certainly, Grandma. It's my bedtime, but I thought I should call you first so that we can talk now about whatever it is you planned to call me about in three hours."
For some reason, Grandma Neva stopped calling her early in the morning.
Margret