The "What's on your mind?" Thread -2017

[tallyollyopia]

It's been a long time since I posted here and it looks like I have a lot to catch up on! So much has been going on for everyone!

tallyollyopia all I can say is that you have the makings of a wonderful article in all of those awful experiences. You're such a good writer and you bring each episode to life. I bet a lot of people would really relate to what you go through!

LTS3 I think you are perfectly within your rights to skip a few times at your Mom's. It might even encourage her to dial back her behavior a bit if you take a break and let her know why. My kids did this to me and although the situation was very different, it did make me take another look at how I interacted with them and to try to improve my side of things. Even if she doesn't change anything, at least you will have had a break. Every week is a lot, especially when you are working and have other things going on in your life.

@mother dragon Ouch re: rabies shots. When I was a kid, I had to have the whole series and this was back when they gave them in the abdomen. (That's changed, I think). OMG. I can still remember the bottomless dread every time we went and the pain. Anyway, you have my sympathy!

artiemom Good luck finding a new perfect throw. I'm wondering how you're going to convince Artie that the new throw is just as good as the old one. Also, hoping for a better day for him tomorrow.

arouetta That's a pretty awful bus ride experience. It's like you got all of the negatives in one day - not a very good introduction. It was kind of you to recognize that you were probably dealing with someone with autism rather than a garden variety creep at the bus stop although that question about living alone would still give me pause. I'm glad you are okay.

I used to work on a research farm that was a major summering spot for large numbers of Canada geese. The worst part of sharing their summer home with them was the goose poop since it tended to have a magic attraction for the underside of shoes. The geese themselves were okay. They strutted around, letting us know they owned the place, but in the many years I worked there, we never had a Goose Incident. They really are so beautiful and watching them all take off in a cacaphony of honking was pretty wonderful.

I hope I bring as much detail to the stories I'm trying to sell. (Seriously, why is it so hard to find a writing agent? Excuse me, I mean: why is it so hard to find a reputable writing agent?)

I love your story about the geese. However, to explain my difference of opinion, I have state a couple of bizarre facts: one, from an early age I have been attacked by animals that most people either found harmless or charming (there was this one incident when I was kid where my grandmother took me to a duck pond that also happened to have geese there; when the ducks got out of the way the geese attacked--and I had welts from it. Not pleasant.) Two, AWM made sure that, from a very early age, I knew exactly what animal each meat product I was eating came from (not one of my siblings ever had a "Bambi Complex"--and IB lost his shortly after coming to live with us), and I've eaten some odd things. Deer, elk, duck, goose, rabbit, squirrel (don't like squirrel very much), eel, alligator, rattlesnake (not my idea and I don't recommend it) and once a strange, huge fish that looked like some kind of monster cross between a catfish, saw fish, and a shark (still have no idea what it was--and no one else did either: after DD caught it he said we were going to find out if it was edible by cooking and eating it to see if it killed us. I have a strange family--but we never starved.)

Second things first, ER doctors routinely charge seperately from the hospital, which I, personally, think is iniquitous. I'd rather have just the one, LARGER, bill, and know what I've got to plan for. Pay it little by little. As long as you are making an attempt to pay, they can't do much about it.

As for your night at work...I've had nights like that, doing that work. I know how it just makes you want to tear your hair out. Worst night ever? A VERY heavily pregnant woman came into the store, VERY nice, but she went into HARD labor in the store. I called 911, but we were MILES out of town. WHILE she was having contractions at 1 minute apart, and I was thinking, "I may have to deliver this kid...I know horses and cats, but NOT HUMANS!", some nitwit at the tanks came in to pay, saw what was happening, threw two $20 bills on the counter for $14 in gas, RAN to his car and drove off...with the hose attached to the car. Yep. You guessed it. Tore that sucker right off of the tank. The only good part of the night was that the EMTs arrived just in time to deliver the baby on the floor of the store...which I then had to mop. Although no one involved was the least unpleasant (barring the loud shrieks from the woman, but she couldn't help it), it was still the most stressful night I ever spent at that store. Of course, it was also the only night I ever got a $6 tip, too!

I have a few regulars who are at that point in their pregnancy--so it may yet come. (At least I've had EMT training.) Nice tip though!

RIP, Adam West. He was 88, and died after a short battle with leukemia, surrounded by his family, according to the report I read.

tallyollyopia , I would suggest that you request an itemized bill from the doctor, for what it's worth.

Not the same thing, but many, many years ago, Roger was injured at work. It was a legitimate work injury, covered by Workman's Comp (long enough ago that it wasn't yet Worker's Comp). He was taken to the local city financed default hospital which, at that time, was engaging in some questionable billing practices -- they simply weren't bothering to bill, a practice which continued for several years until a local television news program got wind of it and did a series on it. So, something like five years after the injury, the hospital finally began billing again and we received a bill that should have been paid long ago by Workman's Comp. We inquired and were told that Workman's Comp had denied coverage, apparently because the bill hadn't been sent to them in a timely manner. We informed the hospital that we were not responsible for this bill; it was their own fault that Workman's Comp hadn't paid them and we weren't about to assume a liability that wasn't rightfully ours. However, we were willing to go to bat with Workman's Comp for them and see whether we couldn't persuade them to pay up; all we needed was an itemized list of services rendered. The hospital sent us the list, but because of their privacy policy (which apparently prohibited telling the patient anything) every single item on the list was blacked out!

We sent them a letter saying that if they weren't willing to provide us with the tools we needed to Workman's Comp on their behalf then they were simply out of luck. If they really thought we were responsible for this they should take us to small claims court, where we would win. We never heard anything more about it.

Now, once again, this isn't the same thing. However, you have every right to know exactly what it is that you're paying for before you pay it. You also have a right to your medical records, BTW.

Margret

Good; that answers a question I asked earlier. I'm glad I have access to people wiser than I am--this is my first emergency bill.

I decided to stay home today. I enjoyed a stress-free day lounging with the cats

The drama and isn't with just Mom, it's with Dad and my two adult brothers who still live at home. It just a messed up dysfunctional family

My work accomodation request has been approved. I was diagnosed with back strain and my doctor put me on a few restrictions for the next few months. No bending at the waist, no lifting more than 10 lbs, take breaks (hard to do when I work with just one other person who is struggling herself to cover the other facility). The HR rep made my cry at the meeting to discuss the accomodations I don't think she meant to make my cry but I did anyways.

I'm glad you had a good, stress-free day! (I'm planning to rent a hotel room on my birthday so I can experience the same thing--and it's the only way I'll get one.) And, . I hope everything goes well with your new accommodations.

Last night: Infinitely better. Odd though; around three I suddenly got hit painful hunger pains (I've been eating balanced and regularly--this shouldn't have happened) and around four-thirty I suddenly got dizzy. (Not enough to need to be sent home or stop working, thank goodness. I was even able to--very carefully--drive home.) Waiting on food now. Hoping it helps.

So--good night and I hope everyone has a great, Lazy Sunday today!

 

[AbbysMom]

I've been clicking on the smiley icon, and like I said: about half the time I'll get the bar of smileys at the bottom of the message (stays up, like you said) and about half the time they don't come up.

They're very slow to come up, and if you get impatient (perfectly understandable) and click again to try to hurry them up what really happens is that the editor reads the second click as a cancellation of your request for smileys.

Just a note that if you do have issues with the site, like smilies loading, please post in the "Site Issues" forum about it so we are aware and can look into it. Thanks!

 

[LTS3]

My manager was able to pull someone from the main team (much to the of the supervisor for that team) to help for the next few months while I'm on work restrictions. We do have a new supervisor starting tomorrow and a new employee starting in 2 weeks but they'll be useless for at least a month while they go through all the trainings, both company required ones and department required ones, and settle into their new roles. Today was the first day I had help. Normally it takes all day to cover both facilities by one person and a lot just doesn't get done at all. Today we got done just before noon After lunch, we had to clear out space and get supplies ready so that tomorrow I can fill those spaces up with more of the lab's projects My back isn't as painful as it normally is on Sundays.

I'll be heading out soon. I still have no energy to deal with my family It's good to know that taking a break from the drama is perfectly ok. Any suggestions on how I can deal with the guilt-tripping that will eventually happen?

 

[artiemom]

LTS3 Great that they are accommodating your restrictions.. that is a rare occurrence.

Please be careful with your back. I pulled my back out, a ton of years ago, causing periodic spasms....so take care of yourself. Glad you have help!

As far as the guilts... well.. all you can tell yourself and keep repeating, is: You have done as much as you can for your parents. You are a good daughter; now it is time to take care of yourself; You cannot do anymore; It is not as if you do not love them; You just need a break so that you can deal with your parents more effectively for them and for you...

((hugs))
Good Luck

 

[arouetta]

Another idea is to deflect, not engage. They start the sob story, reply with something like "By the way, did you hear blah news story?" Don't respond to it, a response will feed into it, change the subject. Now if they push, if they get aggressive and nasty, then state once "I will not stay and be treated this way." and then deflect. If they continue, make good on your statement and leave.

If you do this consistently, yeah it'll get worse at first as they try to pull you back into your old role, but then it'll get better.

 

[LTS3]

I was worried that they wouldn't. I just don't have a positive experience with HR. I was actually on work restrictions 2 years ago when I returned from surgery but it wasn't exactly official. My then-supervisor said I didn't need to let HR or the health service office know. Maybe the policy has changed since then, I don't know.

Simply walking can be enough to send pain shooting up my lower back I have to go to physical therapy to work out the issues with my back and hips. It's written in HR's accomodation approval letter that I am allowed to take time off from work to go to PT.

Mom wanted me to go over for dinner tonight. I declined. She made up excuses for my Dad's behavior last time which is just BS She always has an excuse for everything. My patience dealing with the constant drama and other issues has run out. I have no doubt that a good part of my lifelong anxiety issues is a result of growing up in an unhealthy, negative, drama filled environment.

 

[arouetta]

I was worried that they wouldn't. I just don't have a positive experience with HR. I was actually on work restrictions 2 years ago when I returned from surgery but it wasn't exactly official. My then-supervisor said I didn't need to let HR or the health service office know. Maybe the policy has changed since then, I don't know.

Simply walking can be enough to send pain shooting up my lower back I have to go to physical therapy to work out the issues with my back and hips. It's written in HR's accomodation approval letter that I am allowed to take time off from work to go to PT.

I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. If you have medical problems, get it all in writing and make it all official. That way you have ADA protection. If you have ADA protection then you have a whole lot of protections. They can't make you do something you can't do, and they can't punish you either. And if there's even a hint of retaliation ("Oh gee, you clocked in 30 seconds too late, we're writing you up. We don't care someone else was 2 minutes too late.") then the EEOC is going to be your friend. Also, you don't have to take FMLA as a block, you can take off as needed once you are on FMLA and they can't punish/retaliate for that either.

And don't do what I did last year. If I had been smart and selfish I'd have gone on FMLA and told the company to kiss my . Instead I knew they were short-staffed so I did my best to stay on until my moving day. I ended up with a lot more physical pain and suffering, I got in trouble for going to the ER because they were short-staffed, I got in trouble for a money mistake when I was high as a kite on the feel-good drugs because I wasn't allowed to stay home after going to the ER, I got in trouble for not filing my folders when my doctor flat out said no use of the right hand and arm including no filing, I got in trouble when I said that a co-worker I was training couldn't simply unplug my mouse and plug hers in to switch from left-handed to right-handed configuration, and in the end I left the company on really bad terms because I couldn't deal with all the stress on top of the physical pain and ended up having a nervous breakdown. (I had gotten in trouble for not filing despite the doctor's restriction. I was closing the office that night with someone else, someone sympathetic, and I told him that I didn't know if I was going to show up in the morning and gave him my keys, and then I covered my desk in sticky notes as to what was what in case I didn't come back. An hour later during the drive home I first called my husband and discussed it with him and then I left a message with HR that I was not ever coming back and who had my keys.) I actually was on FMLA at the end, but I tried to take off as needed because they were short-staffed instead of putting myself first and them a far, far last.

 

[Margret]

arouetta , ouch!!! Deep sympathy. I guess it's true, in the business world, at least -- no good deed goes unpunished.



LTS3 , I would add just one thing to what arouetta said: If your company deserves the kind of loyalty and devotion that arouetta gave to her company, it won't bother them for you to protect yourself. And if they don't, you need to protect yourself.

Margret

 

[Margret]

Five years ago (practically to the day) I slipped and fell and broke my left forearm in three places. It had to be repaired surgically and is now held together with little titanium screws and plates, and it was in a cast for months (which I mean literally -- it's not hyperbole). While it was in the cast, the ligaments got shorter, so that when it came out of the cast it was clenched in a fist and I was in danger of bed sores from my fingernails growing into my palms. Occupational therapy got it to finally unclench; more O.T. got it to the point where the wrist is strong enough that I can now use it to support myself by leaning on a banister. The fingers are straight enough now that I can once again get my wedding ring over the knuckle. They aren't straight enough for me to clap my hands normally; I have to do it sideways, right hand against just the palm of my left hand. And the little finger isn't strong enough to control thread tension so that I can crochet or tat (both of which I've done from childhood).

At this point I have no health insurance, which means no more O.T., but I do have a clue about what I need to do. Right now the best exercise for that hand is practicing my guitar, and I've finally gotten the physical environment set up properly for guitar practice. I found a beautiful triptych style mirror, with beveled edges that grab the light and throw off rainbows, for $35 at Goodwill, and I now have it mounted securely on the wall across from the chair I sit in to practice, because it's much better to look in the mirror than to crane down to get a good look at the hand. I've made a new elastic guitar strap that holds it in the best position for playing, even when I'm seated. I still have the nice guitarist's foot rest that I bought in the late '80s, and the guitar stand, and most importantly I still have my guitar with the beautiful tone. And I found the music for the lovely étude my guitar teacher wrote for me, to show off with. I worked on it the other day, expecting a total disaster, and was astonished to discover that I can still make all but one of the chords (even the one that requires a half bar), and the one that I can't quite make will work okay if I just ignore the alternate bass note. And I'm now all the way up to 5 minutes of practice before my wrist hurts too much to continue! (I know, that sounds like a really short practice session, but numerous short practice sessions are actually more effective than the same total amount of time spent in just one or two longer sessions. And besides, while I'm getting my callouses back the sessions were bound to be short anyhow.)

There's just one thing that I don't understand about how my hand is working, and this is as good a place as any to ask, I think, since I no longer have an occupational therapist. Finger independence is always a bit of a problem for musicians because the nerves that control the little finger and the ring finger branch off from a single nerve. Guitar students are told horror stories about Robert Schumann, who destroyed his hands and his career as a pianist by using some novel exercises to try to develop true independence of those two fingers. (The stories are apparently not true, but the cautionary tales persist: 1 • Schumann’s Hand « Pianist to Pianist, by Jura Margulis.) However, since my injury this lack of finger independence also involves the middle finger of my left hand. Do any of you folks with more medical knowledge than I have know why this would be?

Margret

 

[arouetta]

However, since my injury this lack of finger independence also involves the middle finger of my left hand. Do any of you folks with more medical knowledge than I have know why this would be?

Margret

My guess would be that it's a ligament/tendon/muscle problem and not a nerve problem. Humans tend to use the thumb and first finger a lot more than they use the middle, ring and little finger, and that usage would cause more practice in re-attaining full control. And muscle memory is a very real thing, something that would have been greatly diminished or completely forgotten over months of non-use. You're likely still at a point where the hand must move as one while the brain is figuring out all the individual sensations that will lead to full individual control.

 

[artiemom]

It could be that the muscles and ligaments have atrophied (shrunken) because of the lack of use. That is not your fault. It is because of the length of time you had the cast on.

I know you are aware of the PT/OT exercises. I would just keep trying to gently stretch and massage those fingers. As if a paralyzed person who was getting physical therapy.. I am calling this contracture of the fingers..

Is the PT putty helpful at all?

Because my arm was in a sling for such a long time as it was healing, I developed ulnar nerve issues (Elbow nerve) in the last 2 fingers of my hand. They periodically go numb on my when my elbow is in a bent/typing, or sitting position. I have to keep straightening out my arm for the numbness to subside.

Really do not know what else to say.. except: ((hugs))

 

[arouetta]

I am going to ask a question that is quite heated for many people. I'm hoping for a respectful debate.

I remember 20-30 years ago spraying a cat with water was considered a safe and appropriate redirect. The cat is engaging in a behavior that is either unsafe or damaging and must be stopped, and a spritz of water was considered much better than running up and yelling at him to stop (scaring the heck out of him), and tons more better than a physical response.

Yet so many people here say that a spritz of water (not a shower) is far more damaging than any other response to stop the unsafe/damaging behavior.

I have used the squirt bottle when Midway is damaging stuff. First it took two spritzs. The first one and when he looked at me and continued to damage stuff, the second one. After a bit, it dropped to one spritz and he knew he wasn't supposed to be ripping my blinds apart. Then all I had to do was tap the bottle and he would stop breaking them and go eat or settle down for a nap or stalk something. Now I don't even have to tap the bottle, he's gotten the message to not break the stupid blinds. And clearly his trust is not eroded as all other times (other than destroying blinds) he just loves his people.

If it wasn't hurting cats 20 or 30 years ago, why would the current generation of kitties be mentally damaged by it? If it's so horrible, why does it work without making a cat fearful? Why is it now worse than yelling/aggressive posture or actually manhandling the cat (even a simple manhandling of picking him up and moving him)? What do you do when you can't run up and manhandle the cat, and every other redirect is bad?

 

[Margret]

I'm using the putty to slowly try to strengthen the little finger, and I recently found one type of yarn that's large enough and rough enough (actually quite soft, just not slick -- Bernat's baby yarn -- takes a size L hook!) that I can control the tension for crocheting, so I'm about to start on an afghan. Actually doing things is kind of the essence of O.T., after all.

I have some of these from my O.T.: that I was wearing on the middle and ring fingers (alternately, in 1/2 hour stints) for ~8 hours a day, which is why I can open the hand as far as I can, but I'm at the point where they're no longer making a real difference.

I found these (actually a different brand, I think, because the colors are different) online and bought 3 sets (on the perfectly reasonable assumption that I'm going to lose them) and keep one of the lightest ones in my left pocket so I can stretch against resistance when I'm standing in line. O.T.s like to give you really heavy rubber bands for that purpose, but as soon as you actually start using them they slip down; these stay in place.

And, of course, I got one of those guitar hand strengthener devices () from a local music store. I keep that in my purse, and don't use it as often as I should. (And then people wonder why my purse is so heavy. The putty is in there, too. )

My guitar teacher has moved out of town, but I talked to her about it when she was here for her father's funeral (Alzheimer's, very sad), and she said to use a rolled up pair of socks between my palm and the neck of the guitar, so that I'm pressing the strings by finger strength alone, not by squeezing. That makes sense, but it's not working out. My hands are just too small; the fingers won't reach all the strings with a pair of socks in between, and I haven't been able to think of a good substitute. Maybe just one sock, rather than a pair? Or something soft and foamy I could attach to the palm side of my thumb, since it's what I really use when I squeeze? I am pretty good at making things to do specific jobs; that's one of the reasons I drive the clerks crazy in the hardware store. ("Can I help you find something?" "No thank you. I don't know what I'm looking for but I'll recognize it when I see it." And it's never something that I'll use for its original purpose.) Maybe I should be driving the clerks crazy at the fabric store instead.

These are the times that I really miss my mother. She was the best P.T. I've ever met, and had an excellent understanding of O.T. as well.

I talked to a chiropractor who had an online ad about peripheral neuropathy, told him about the tiny bit of diabetic neuropathy I have in my toes (I do mean tiny -- it doesn't prevent them from feeling, just a little bit of tingle, so I'm not too concerned about it since it won't progress as long as I control my sugars, and my last A1C was totally normal, not even pre-diabetic levels) and said that my greater concern was some of the neuropathy I still have in my left hand, which is from the injury, not the diabetes. He said he thought I should get an MRI (or was it a CAT scan?) of my neck and shoulder area, that he thought I might have thrown that out enough when I landed on the hand so hard that there's a pinched nerve causing at least some of the neuropathy. Of course, he's coming at it totally from a chiropractic viewpoint, but he could still be right, and it's not like they would have caught that at the time. Obviously I'm not getting a CAT scan or MRI, not without insurance. Maybe next year, if I can get a really good Medicare supplemental insurance. Assuming Medicare is still around when I become eligible.

Margret

 

[Margret]

arouetta , I've tried spritzing with water as a way to discipline Jasmine, and it just doesn't work. That's with Jasmine. I think that a lot of people have had similar experiences with their cats, which has led to the current advice about water spritzing.

The thing is, that's very generalized, but cats are as much individuals as humans are. Obviously it does work for your Midway, so I say "Go for it." Just don't be too surprised and disappointed if it doesn't work out with other cats you encounter, and if it becomes clear that it's not working don't persist. That's when it becomes abusive.

Margret

 

[arouetta]

None of the pictures showed for me.

My guitar teacher has moved out of town, but I talked to her about it when she was here for her father's funeral (Alzheimer's, very sad), and she said to use a rolled up pair of socks between my palm and the neck of the guitar, so that I'm pressing the strings by finger strength alone, not by squeezing. That makes sense, but it's not working out. My hands are just too small; the fingers won't reach all the strings with a pair of socks in between, and I haven't been able to think of a good substitute. Maybe just one sock, rather than a pair? Or something soft and foamy I could attach to the palm side of my thumb, since it's what I really use when I squeeze? I am pretty good at making things to do specific jobs; that's one of the reasons I drive the clerks crazy in the hardware store. ("Can I help you find something?" "No thank you. I don't know what I'm looking for but I'll recognize it when I see it." And it's never something that I'll use for its original purpose.) Maybe I should be driving the clerks crazy at the fabric store instead.

Stress ball maybe? Smaller and does offer resistance. It'd probably also be great for strengthening the fingers and hand just from repetitive squeezing.

I talked to a chiropractor who had an online ad about peripheral neuropathy, told him about the tiny bit of diabetic neuropathy I have in my toes (I do mean tiny -- it doesn't prevent them from feeling, just a little bit of tingle, so I'm not too concerned about it since it won't progress as long as I control my sugars, and my last A1C was totally normal, not even pre-diabetic levels) and said that my greater concern was some of the neuropathy I still have in my left hand, which is from the injury, not the diabetes. He said he thought I should get an MRI (or was it a CAT scan?) of my neck and shoulder area, that he thought I might have thrown that out enough when I landed on the hand so hard that there's a pinched nerve causing at least some of the neuropathy. Of course, he's coming at it totally from a chiropractic viewpoint, but he could still be right, and it's not like they would have caught that at the time. Obviously I'm not getting a CAT scan or MRI, not without insurance. Maybe next year, if I can get a really good Medicare supplemental insurance. Assuming Medicare is still around when I become eligible.

Margret

I didn't realize there was nerve damage, I missed that in the original post. Injuries to the neck can cause cervical disc problems which would show up in the hand and arm. It would be an MRI, I had one last year because they were all but certain I had a herniated disc. Pretty much the PT is all the strengthening things you're already doing plus traction, which is them hooking you to a machine that looks like a medieval torture device and the machine yanking on your head with 16-18 pounds of strength.

Be careful about relying only on the A1c. I read an article from a guy whose A1c was normal, but it turned out that he didn't have normal blood sugar. His A1c was "normal" because he was having an equal amount of way too high glucose and way too low glucose and he wasn't staying in the normal range at all.

 

[arouetta]

Just don't be too surprised and disappointed if it doesn't work out with other cats you encounter, and if it becomes clear that it's not working don't persist. That's when it becomes abusive.

Margret

I have heard of people soaking their cats, and yeah, that's not cool. Shadow and Montressor simply don't engage in behaviors that I feel are dangerous or damaging. I find that most cats don't have damaging/destructive behaviors. Midway had three, we're down to one. The first one was him jumping on the stove. He has absolutely no way of knowing if the stove is cold or if it's just recently turned off and still hot, so that needed fixing. Cheap plastic table mats with double-sided sticky tape on the top side that I left on the stove cured him of that. The blinds, we're just about done with that. The last one is his penchant for knocking stuff off high places in the wee hours of the morning. More annoyance than anything usually, but we can't get rid of every glass item in the house and shattered glass is both damage and destructive. (I threw out the very nice glass drinking glasses since my husband couldn't seem to remember to NOT put one on the bathroom counter before bed.) I'm also afraid of him deciding to knock things like smartphones off or him tipping a glass on the electronics instead of on the floor or him knocking random stuff over when he bolts after I throw the covers off (which tricks him into thinking I'm getting out of bed). Since he does bolt when he thinks I'm getting up, I also worry when he does find something to shatter he's going to get glass splinters in his paws while running when I get up to deal with cleaning up the glass.

 

[Margret]

arouetta , in no particular order:

• My mom had one of those traction devices; it hooked over a door. I remember it vividly. I'll check; it may be in the basement. Either that or it went to Oregon with her. I'll also talk to my regular chiropractor and see what he can find short of an MRI.
• I am vividly aware of the one thing that invalidates A1C. I'm extremely careful about that. Mostly I control my blood glucose by eating very few carbs. I have a good blood sugar monitor and I'm not afraid to use it.
  
• The arm was repaired surgically. I have a ~3 inch scar on the back of the wrist and maybe 2 and 1/2 inches on the front of the wrist. And the bone was broken in three places (all near but not in the wrist -- my first thought when I fell was "Man! That is the worst sprain I have ever had!" believing that the wrist was sprained because I'd never had a broken bone before). There's no way the surgery completely missed nerves; I'm probably lucky there was so little nerve damage. (Actually, the only luck involved was finding a really good surgeon.) Also, I had brain surgery a day or two before the arm surgery; the broken arm resulted in the brain tumor being found and brain tumors trump broken arms. (Yes, I'm extremely glad the tumor was found. I just wish it could have happened without major trauma to the rest of my body.) It appears to me that the body imposes its own triage system when allocating resources for healing. First the brain and soft tissue, then the bones, then the nerves. Even the scalp nerves aren't totally back to 100%, after 5 years, and it took a good deal longer than that for cut nerves to completely heal after my gall bladder surgery in 1989, so probably it just means that nerves take time.
  
• Those weren't supposed to be pictures; they're links to Amazon. The site displayed them as pictures, which is exceedingly annoying. If you can, click on them. If not, in order, search on:

1. LMB Spring Finger Extension Splint
2. Finger Exerciser Extension Hand Resistance Band Stretcher Strengthener, Pack of 3 for Kid, Violin, Guitar, Piano Player, finger joint stress pain arthritis/carpal tunnel/golfer's elbow relief
3. D'Addario Varigrip Adjustable Hand Exerciser

I know, number 2 is exceptionally wordy. Can't help it, I copied the title verbatim from Amazon.

Margret

 

[Margret]

arouetta , we're cross-posting. So, okay, one thing at a time.

Yes, feline physics experiments can be very worrisome. I've never found a way to break a cat of pushing things off. We used to tell Floppy "No physics experiments." She knew what we were talking about and she'd stop, until we weren't looking. If the glass (or whatever) was still there, she'd push it off. I have a lovely crocheted lace runner that my mother made to go on top of my treadle sewing machine (when closed), and I can't use it for fear of a cat pulling it off, along with anything on top of it, and snagging it in the bargain.

I think you missed my point about abuse. I wasn't talking about soaking a cat, I was talking about routinely using any training method that involves punishment (which is what a spritz of water is) when you already know that it won't work.

And I can think of one scenario where soaking, specifically with a hose or a bucket of water, is appropriate and not abusive -- if you need to break up a cat or cat/dog fight that is reaching dangerous levels. But the intention there isn't punishment, it's startling the participants out of fight mode, without getting hurt yourself.

Margret

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I'll be heading out soon. I still have no energy to deal with my family It's good to know that taking a break from the drama is perfectly ok. Any suggestions on how I can deal with the guilt-tripping that will eventually happen?

Having dealt with a guilt-tripping parent (thank goodness, just one), the deflecting is probably the best answer you are going to get. And you do need to be prepared to get up and walk away if they persist after warning. That works well on the telephone, too. "Mom, if we can't have a pleasant conversation, I have to hang up." "Mom, I did tell you. I'll speak with you later." click. Eventually, if you don't give them the reaction they are looking for, they'll quit. If you need to yell and scream, you can do it here. You're not alone with dealing with this on this board. One of the hardest things I ever did was admit to myself that there was a tiny teaspoon of relief in the huge bucket of grief when my mother died.

arouetta Since you aren't saturating him, I don't call spritzing abuse. The main thing with me is that cats are smart enough to know where the water is coming from, and an occasional cat will decide to dislike/fear the person doing the spritzing. I think that is NOT an issue in your case. In fact, I've often wondered in cases where it did happen what the relationship was otherwise. If Midway responds to it, and as you are obviously rational about using it, I'd say do what works.

 

[Margret]

Roger's sister has a sleep schedule similar to mine -- she tends to stay up late at night and get up late in the morning. Grandma Neva used to call her at around 5:00 a.m. to ask "What are you doing?" "Sleeping, Grandma." "Well why aren't you scrubbing the stairs?" (or whatever the current bee in her bonnet was).

After several months of this my S.I.L. finally got fed up and called Grandma Neva just before going to bed. "Hi, Grandma. What are you doing?" "Sleeping! Do you know what time it is?!" "Certainly, Grandma. It's my bedtime, but I thought I should call you first so that we can talk now about whatever it is you planned to call me about in three hours."

For some reason, Grandma Neva stopped calling her early in the morning.

Margret