I'm writing this one day after the loss of my beloved cat, Zoe. She was a beautiful almost 12 year old seal point balinese. Zoe had the most wonderful personality. She was always there to greet me when I walked in the door, doing her little talking, chirping conversation telling me about her day. Zoe loved to play, loved to be brushed, and just generally loved being around me and my boyfriend of 10 years. Every night she woudl come to bed with me and lie on my chest while I read in bed, until she had read enough and would go bang on the bedroom door until my boyfriend would let her out to watch tv and have "daddy time". A lot of people don't understand this, but since I have no human children, Zoe was my child. She loved to climb up on the couch and into my arms and be held like a baby. She would look at me with so much trust and unconditional love with her huge blue eyes that it made me feel so loved. Whenever I was sad she always crawled up right next to me to make me feel better. She was the most wonderful kitty.
Last year Zoe was diagnosed with IBD, and after having a bad reaction to the medication, ended up getting better on her own. At the time, we had her tested for everything, and she was perfectly healthy. Then this fall, she began vomiting again. We assumed it was a flare up of the IBD. The vet concurred. When she stopped vomiting, but lost her appitite and was losing weight, the vert told us that we should just keep feeding her foods she liked. Finally last Wednesday we went back to the vet for the third time since Dec, determined to get some help. They did an ultrsound and found my worst fear. She had lymphoma in her stomach and it was such that it was not operable. On the vets recommendation, I decded against radiation or chemo, but put her on a steroid that had a chance of shrinking the tumor and giving her more time feeling fine. Keep in mind that at this point, although she was skinny, she was still herself, clowning around, cuddling, talking, sitting with us, etc. Not hiding or seeming sick. After 3 days on the steroid, I noticed that she seemed wobbly. I stopped the steroid, and verified with the vet this was the right thing to do. Then Zoe got worse and worse. She couldn't walk anymore, as if she had lost all of her muscle control. Her eyes were dilated and would roll back in her little head. I had to carry her to the litter box and hold her there so that she could go to the bathroom. After three days of trying to feed her and give her water through a syringe, we finally had to admit that she was dying and was in pain. Boyfriend and I took her in yesterday morning to release her from her pain. It was one week after her cancer diagnosis.
One week from being skinny but healthy and playful to passing on. I am so filled with grief and loneliness. I haven't slept much in the last 5 or 6 days. I know that this unbearable period of grief will pass eventually and I will be left with the good memories and those are so many. I just am so sad to lose my little baby girl. She was truly the light of my life. She was still so young. I thought we would have many more years together. I found this site and it seems like other people have gone through the same thing. Reading your stories tells me that I am not alone. Thanks for listening.
Last year Zoe was diagnosed with IBD, and after having a bad reaction to the medication, ended up getting better on her own. At the time, we had her tested for everything, and she was perfectly healthy. Then this fall, she began vomiting again. We assumed it was a flare up of the IBD. The vet concurred. When she stopped vomiting, but lost her appitite and was losing weight, the vert told us that we should just keep feeding her foods she liked. Finally last Wednesday we went back to the vet for the third time since Dec, determined to get some help. They did an ultrsound and found my worst fear. She had lymphoma in her stomach and it was such that it was not operable. On the vets recommendation, I decded against radiation or chemo, but put her on a steroid that had a chance of shrinking the tumor and giving her more time feeling fine. Keep in mind that at this point, although she was skinny, she was still herself, clowning around, cuddling, talking, sitting with us, etc. Not hiding or seeming sick. After 3 days on the steroid, I noticed that she seemed wobbly. I stopped the steroid, and verified with the vet this was the right thing to do. Then Zoe got worse and worse. She couldn't walk anymore, as if she had lost all of her muscle control. Her eyes were dilated and would roll back in her little head. I had to carry her to the litter box and hold her there so that she could go to the bathroom. After three days of trying to feed her and give her water through a syringe, we finally had to admit that she was dying and was in pain. Boyfriend and I took her in yesterday morning to release her from her pain. It was one week after her cancer diagnosis.
One week from being skinny but healthy and playful to passing on. I am so filled with grief and loneliness. I haven't slept much in the last 5 or 6 days. I know that this unbearable period of grief will pass eventually and I will be left with the good memories and those are so many. I just am so sad to lose my little baby girl. She was truly the light of my life. She was still so young. I thought we would have many more years together. I found this site and it seems like other people have gone through the same thing. Reading your stories tells me that I am not alone. Thanks for listening.