Oy, where to start?
Belle and Delilah are littermates and have lived with us since they were 10 weeks old. They are will be 5 years old in February.
They have always been quite good friends. Grooming each other, playing together, etc.
Delilah has had some issues with misdirected agression. She is very scent-sensitive (I know all cats are, but I think Delilah is extra sensitive). So, when they've come home from the vet or the time I accidentally locked Belle out on our covered porch over night (bad mommy), there was a bit of hissing. However, it's always been fairly short lived...a day or two at most. Also, it's all pretty much been one-sided - Delilah hissing and Belle walking around clueless as to why her sister suddenly doesn't like her.
Belle seems less bothered by other animals and strange scents, but more bothered by people intruding into her world. She always seems very friendly and wanting of attention to visitors (we really don't get many), but she turns easily and will suddenly hiss/swat. Also, she hates when people stay over night and get up in the middle of the night. Many of times my now-husband has had to get up and rescue a stranger who was on their way back from the bathroom from a grumpy-sounding kitty.
However, this summer has been ridiculous:
First, in early July, I took Belle to get groomed because of mattes. When she came back, she smelled lovely to me, but apparently horribly different to Delilah. Hissing ensued. Again, all Delilah. Eventually, Belle started growling back, occasionally...but it was all relatively innocent. I expected the hissing to stop in a couple days, but it didn't. Fast forward to early-August. Things had improved to the point where Belle and Delilah could be in the same room with each other and even near each other. Delilah would usually only hiss if Belle decided to push the limits and lick her head or sniff her butt (I told her that was not a good way to make friends!).
I got married on August 10th. The marriage in and of itself didn't bring any great changes to the dynamics of Belle and Delilah's world, except that there were a few busy days. My two bridesmaids stayed over one night. One of them got up in the middle of the night to use the washroom. Belle, of course, cornered her. When my now-husband went to rescue her, Belle got very angry. She didn't react so much physically as she did with her vocalizations - I thought someone had stepped on her tail or something - but no, she was just REALLY angry. The next day, a bunch of my husband's family (who Belle especially seems to dislike) came over while he was getting ready for the weekend. If I knew this was happening, I probably would have told my husband to stick the cats in a bedroom or something. In any case, I didn't hear any crazy stories of cat behaviour from that day.
It was a few crazy busy days, but the cats seemed pretty much the same as they had been prior to that - still not best friends, but co-existing reasonably peacefully. My husband and I went away for on our honeymoon for a week. My mom came once a day check on the cats, feed them, and spend some time with Belle (Delilah doesn't have much interest in visitors...she usually just stays away). She said that Belle was friendly and sat on her lap for pets...and Delilah even came up and sniffed her hand by the end of the week. No hissing/growling/fighting mentioned. We came back, and still, the cats seemed to be co-existing rather peacefully (although still not friends again).
AND THEN...Friday night, my brother-in-law called up at the last minute and asked if we could watch their 4 month old daughter for a few hours. They brought her over...Belle was very curious...Delilah had no interest. However, stupidly, I let the baby get too close to Belle, she reached out, and Belle scratched her. As you can imagine, the baby was not happy about this. I didn't yell at Belle or anything, but my number one priority was getting the baby to calm down. Well, Belle and Delilah did not enjoy the crying baby. So began their first big fight. There was screaming and hissing and growling and pawing at each other, but we got them separated into bedrooms. Even after I got the baby calmed down due to the scratch (it was a good one...I felt so bad, but made sure it was cleaned out and apparently it's not her first cat scratch), she still cried quite a bit over the course of the night (as babies will do in strange places, at night, when they are hungry and teething).
Life has been hell since then. The cats can't be anywhere near each other without growling, hissing, screaming and fighting. They just hate each other. They are both being agressive, but they are also both acting terrified as well. I can't tell who is starting it. Yesterday, Saturday, my husband and I were out from about 11 in the morning until about 9:30 at night. Since the cats pretty much just sleep while we're gone, we figured they'd be OK. We were completely wrong. We came home to a mess. Papers were off the desk, towels were knocked down, etc. Worst, and most heartbreaking, of all, Delilah's bum was completely soaked with what I'm assuming was urine and she had pooped a few different places in the house. On the desk (just a tiny bit), on the couch (where she usually lays), and most of all, in my bathtub and on the shower calls. In there, it was literally smeared. It kind of looks like they got in a fight and Delilah was so scared that she pooped.
After we came home, we separated them, cleaned everything up, and then tried letting them back out. It didn't work. Delilah, I think, would be pretty happy just to hide out in her own little world, but Belle won't stay away. She has to go where Delilah is. My large apartment is made up of a bunch of small rooms/spaces, so it usually ends up with one of them cornered and then a fight. They've pretty much been separated since then. If they catch a glimpse of each other (when we're entering/exiting one of the rooms), they are still growling.
I now have a bedroom set up for each of them. Each has food, water, and a litterbox. Each also now has a feliway plug-in as well (I've never used it, but have heard great things...). When we're home, we're alternating who is in their room and who has free roam of the rest of the apartment (although I find both of them, but Delilah especially, tend to stay in her room or at least return to it rather quickly). I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with each of them. Neither particularly likes being locked in their room, but I suspect they are fine once the apartment is empty and quiet). I think tomorrow when I go to work I'll just keep each of them in their rooms so that they get as much of the Feliway as possible.
They are both eating, drinking, and using the washroom as usual. They are acting normally toward us - wanting pets, purring, cuddling. I will call the vet to ask about appointments (they are due anyway), but I don't suspect it's a health-related issue. I really think Delilah's pooping around the house yesterday was a fear-response (which is absolutely heart-breaking to me). There has been none of that today with the girls separated. I think the introduction of a noisy baby really set their already delicate relationship off and now they are both mad at and scared of each other. Hopefully, a bit of a break from each other and the Feliway...along with a slow re-introduction will help this situation.
OK, if you've stuck around to read all that, please stick around a little longer to read my questions:
Are the two Feliway diffusers in the bedrooms enough for now? I have a 1200 square foot apartment with tall ceilings (10ft?), but they are both currently spending good chunks of their time in their respective bedrooms. I was thinking of getting one more for the living room, or getting the spray so that I could hit a few other areas of the apartment with that.
How long should we continue to keep them separated? This is tough for us...as neither are used to closed doors (Belle particularly hates any door she can't go through!) and meow when they are in their room without one of us. However, at this point, I think them each having a safe place is more important.
Other than going to the vet, is there anything else I can do? I do have some rescue remedy that I could try. However, the cats (Delilah especially) really don't like it on their ears or mouths, and if I recall correctly, stopped drinking their water if I put a few drips in their bowl. What are other ways to use it?
Edited to add one more question: Will a window air conditioner interfere with the effectiveness of the Feliway diffuser? The one bedroom has one that really needs to be one for us during the night.
And last of all, not a question, but I really, more than anything I think, just needed to share this with people I know will understand how hard of a situation it really is. I'm so stressed out over it (added to the stress of back-to-school prep, as I'm a teacher). Of course, my mind jumps to worse case scenerios and "what-ifs" when it's only really been 2 days. I just seems so impossible at the moment that they'll ever be able to be in the same room again!
Belle and Delilah are littermates and have lived with us since they were 10 weeks old. They are will be 5 years old in February.
They have always been quite good friends. Grooming each other, playing together, etc.
Delilah has had some issues with misdirected agression. She is very scent-sensitive (I know all cats are, but I think Delilah is extra sensitive). So, when they've come home from the vet or the time I accidentally locked Belle out on our covered porch over night (bad mommy), there was a bit of hissing. However, it's always been fairly short lived...a day or two at most. Also, it's all pretty much been one-sided - Delilah hissing and Belle walking around clueless as to why her sister suddenly doesn't like her.
Belle seems less bothered by other animals and strange scents, but more bothered by people intruding into her world. She always seems very friendly and wanting of attention to visitors (we really don't get many), but she turns easily and will suddenly hiss/swat. Also, she hates when people stay over night and get up in the middle of the night. Many of times my now-husband has had to get up and rescue a stranger who was on their way back from the bathroom from a grumpy-sounding kitty.
However, this summer has been ridiculous:
First, in early July, I took Belle to get groomed because of mattes. When she came back, she smelled lovely to me, but apparently horribly different to Delilah. Hissing ensued. Again, all Delilah. Eventually, Belle started growling back, occasionally...but it was all relatively innocent. I expected the hissing to stop in a couple days, but it didn't. Fast forward to early-August. Things had improved to the point where Belle and Delilah could be in the same room with each other and even near each other. Delilah would usually only hiss if Belle decided to push the limits and lick her head or sniff her butt (I told her that was not a good way to make friends!).
I got married on August 10th. The marriage in and of itself didn't bring any great changes to the dynamics of Belle and Delilah's world, except that there were a few busy days. My two bridesmaids stayed over one night. One of them got up in the middle of the night to use the washroom. Belle, of course, cornered her. When my now-husband went to rescue her, Belle got very angry. She didn't react so much physically as she did with her vocalizations - I thought someone had stepped on her tail or something - but no, she was just REALLY angry. The next day, a bunch of my husband's family (who Belle especially seems to dislike) came over while he was getting ready for the weekend. If I knew this was happening, I probably would have told my husband to stick the cats in a bedroom or something. In any case, I didn't hear any crazy stories of cat behaviour from that day.
It was a few crazy busy days, but the cats seemed pretty much the same as they had been prior to that - still not best friends, but co-existing reasonably peacefully. My husband and I went away for on our honeymoon for a week. My mom came once a day check on the cats, feed them, and spend some time with Belle (Delilah doesn't have much interest in visitors...she usually just stays away). She said that Belle was friendly and sat on her lap for pets...and Delilah even came up and sniffed her hand by the end of the week. No hissing/growling/fighting mentioned. We came back, and still, the cats seemed to be co-existing rather peacefully (although still not friends again).
AND THEN...Friday night, my brother-in-law called up at the last minute and asked if we could watch their 4 month old daughter for a few hours. They brought her over...Belle was very curious...Delilah had no interest. However, stupidly, I let the baby get too close to Belle, she reached out, and Belle scratched her. As you can imagine, the baby was not happy about this. I didn't yell at Belle or anything, but my number one priority was getting the baby to calm down. Well, Belle and Delilah did not enjoy the crying baby. So began their first big fight. There was screaming and hissing and growling and pawing at each other, but we got them separated into bedrooms. Even after I got the baby calmed down due to the scratch (it was a good one...I felt so bad, but made sure it was cleaned out and apparently it's not her first cat scratch), she still cried quite a bit over the course of the night (as babies will do in strange places, at night, when they are hungry and teething).
Life has been hell since then. The cats can't be anywhere near each other without growling, hissing, screaming and fighting. They just hate each other. They are both being agressive, but they are also both acting terrified as well. I can't tell who is starting it. Yesterday, Saturday, my husband and I were out from about 11 in the morning until about 9:30 at night. Since the cats pretty much just sleep while we're gone, we figured they'd be OK. We were completely wrong. We came home to a mess. Papers were off the desk, towels were knocked down, etc. Worst, and most heartbreaking, of all, Delilah's bum was completely soaked with what I'm assuming was urine and she had pooped a few different places in the house. On the desk (just a tiny bit), on the couch (where she usually lays), and most of all, in my bathtub and on the shower calls. In there, it was literally smeared. It kind of looks like they got in a fight and Delilah was so scared that she pooped.
After we came home, we separated them, cleaned everything up, and then tried letting them back out. It didn't work. Delilah, I think, would be pretty happy just to hide out in her own little world, but Belle won't stay away. She has to go where Delilah is. My large apartment is made up of a bunch of small rooms/spaces, so it usually ends up with one of them cornered and then a fight. They've pretty much been separated since then. If they catch a glimpse of each other (when we're entering/exiting one of the rooms), they are still growling.
I now have a bedroom set up for each of them. Each has food, water, and a litterbox. Each also now has a feliway plug-in as well (I've never used it, but have heard great things...). When we're home, we're alternating who is in their room and who has free roam of the rest of the apartment (although I find both of them, but Delilah especially, tend to stay in her room or at least return to it rather quickly). I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with each of them. Neither particularly likes being locked in their room, but I suspect they are fine once the apartment is empty and quiet). I think tomorrow when I go to work I'll just keep each of them in their rooms so that they get as much of the Feliway as possible.
They are both eating, drinking, and using the washroom as usual. They are acting normally toward us - wanting pets, purring, cuddling. I will call the vet to ask about appointments (they are due anyway), but I don't suspect it's a health-related issue. I really think Delilah's pooping around the house yesterday was a fear-response (which is absolutely heart-breaking to me). There has been none of that today with the girls separated. I think the introduction of a noisy baby really set their already delicate relationship off and now they are both mad at and scared of each other. Hopefully, a bit of a break from each other and the Feliway...along with a slow re-introduction will help this situation.
OK, if you've stuck around to read all that, please stick around a little longer to read my questions:
Are the two Feliway diffusers in the bedrooms enough for now? I have a 1200 square foot apartment with tall ceilings (10ft?), but they are both currently spending good chunks of their time in their respective bedrooms. I was thinking of getting one more for the living room, or getting the spray so that I could hit a few other areas of the apartment with that.
How long should we continue to keep them separated? This is tough for us...as neither are used to closed doors (Belle particularly hates any door she can't go through!) and meow when they are in their room without one of us. However, at this point, I think them each having a safe place is more important.
Other than going to the vet, is there anything else I can do? I do have some rescue remedy that I could try. However, the cats (Delilah especially) really don't like it on their ears or mouths, and if I recall correctly, stopped drinking their water if I put a few drips in their bowl. What are other ways to use it?
Edited to add one more question: Will a window air conditioner interfere with the effectiveness of the Feliway diffuser? The one bedroom has one that really needs to be one for us during the night.
And last of all, not a question, but I really, more than anything I think, just needed to share this with people I know will understand how hard of a situation it really is. I'm so stressed out over it (added to the stress of back-to-school prep, as I'm a teacher). Of course, my mind jumps to worse case scenerios and "what-ifs" when it's only really been 2 days. I just seems so impossible at the moment that they'll ever be able to be in the same room again!
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