Why are male cats more affectionate than female cats?

[nepenthes]

I've had femlae cats forever, and now I've had my first male cat and its soooooo much different. 

 My male cat looooves to be on my lap all the time and be petted.. My female cat on the other hand mostly prefers to keep her distance, only occasionaly rubbing against my leg when shes hungry..

Anyone feels the same?

Is there a reason?

 

[margd]

I've heard others say this as well.  My male cats may be have been more physically snuggly than the females, but the females were just as affectionate as the males in their own ways.  Chula, my sweet little girl, won't sit on my lap and hates to be carried, but she sleeps pressed up against me and I can see the love in her eyes when we are interacting.  She comes to me frequently for playtime  and attention and enjoys being petted, plus she does the roll of joy where she drops down in front of me and rolls around happily, just begging me to lean down and play with her.

I'm really curious to see what other people say.  This is a great question. 

 

[piano cat]

People say that about dogs too but it's quite individual with both.

 

[DreamerRose]

It must depend on the cat. Of the cats I've owned, the most affectionate were female. My current male cat doesn't like to be picked up, and will scratch and bite if you do. He doesn't snuggle often, and has short patience with being petted. That said, he follows me everywhere and loves to be scratched under the chin and around the ears. I wanted a snuggle baby, so he's been something of a disappointment.

 

[sirentist]

Every cat person I know says the same thing: male cats tend to be more affectionate. I've had lovely affectionate female cats, but my personal experience is that they do tend to be harder to "win over" than male cats.

I wonder if it's related to how in the wild female cats are the ones more in charge of safeguarding kittens, so maybe they're sort of hardwired to be more vigilant and less trusting in general. Or maybe a male cat's "wildness" is more closely tied into testosterone, so domestic male cats, when neutered, are more amenable to becoming giant cuddly fluff butts.

Disclaimer: I'm totally making all of this up off the top of my head but I bet -- if it's true -- it really does have something to do with biology!

I love this question!

 

[momof3b1g]

It depends on the cat. I have 3 boys and 4 girls. Mom cat is the most affectionate. Loves to be on anybodys lap. The boys dont really care to. My dd complains that alli doesnt like to be held. He likes others better. LOL But the girls like to couddle more then the boys in our house 

 

[lifewith3cats]

This has been my experience as well. My 3 year old male Maine Coon, the cat you see in my avatar with my daughter, will jump on the kitchen counter to get a drink of water out of the faucet, but when you turn on the water he first turns to headbutt you, and headbutt  you and headbutt you some more. He will keep doing it, on both sides of his face to your face, forever if you let him. 

And once in awhile he'll jump on my lap to get his "scrubs". I don't pet him, I scrub him similar to how you scrub your head when you wash your hair. He LOVES it. My 1 year old Tabby female, most certainly does NOT.  She likes to be petted extremely softly, and will bail at the first signs of a scrub. lol She is not a lap cat at all. She will jump in my chair with me and lay next to me for a few minutes to say hello, and then jump down. She will follow me everywhere though, and talks to me all the time. She's by far the most social of the cats.

Misha, my 9wk old, is so far enormously affectionate. She takes at least one long nap on me a day, and loves to be held, petted and carried around. As soon as you touch her she loudly purrs.. So we're happy. I think it has to do with the fact that we got her at 4 weeks and that she was syringe fed for awhile. It's obvious she's used to being held and is comfortable with it.

 

[nepenthes]

 
This has been my experience as well. My 3 year old male Maine Coon, the cat you see in my avatar with my daughter, will jump on the kitchen counter to get a drink of water out of the faucet, but when you turn on the water he first turns to headbutt you, and headbutt  you and headbutt you some more. He will keep doing it, on both sides of his face to your face, forever if you let him. 

And once in awhile he'll jump on my lap to get his "scrubs". I don't pet him, I scrub him similar to how you scrub your head when you wash your hair. He LOVES it. My 1 year old Tabby female, most certainly does NOT.  She likes to be petted extremely softly, and will bail at the first signs of a scrub. lol She is not a lap cat at all. She will jump in my chair with me and lay next to me for a few minutes to say hello, and then jump down. She will follow me everywhere though, and talks to me all the time. She's by far the most social of the cats.

Misha, my 9wk old, is so far enormously affectionate. She takes at least one long nap on me a day, and loves to be held, petted and carried around. As soon as you touch her she loudly purrs.. So we're happy. I think it has to do with the fact that we got her at 4 weeks and that she was syringe fed for awhile. It's obvious she's used to being held and is comfortable with it.

Yeah, it's not like my female isnt affectionate at all, it's just the way she likes it is totally different from my boys. 

She'll headbutt me, rub against me, and she too likes to be petted VERY softly, whereas with my boys, the rougher the better... too bad the female won't stay on my lap anymore. Its been so cold here her warmth would be realy welcome.. luckily my males are quite furry and cuddly  and they keep me warm .

 

[haleyds]

I have to agree that makes are more affectionate than females, but both genders have their own perks. Up until my current girl I've always had male cats. They've all be consistently snugly and they love to be rubbed and sit in your lap for hours being petted. My males were never very playful and were very quiet too. Then my girl is the exact opposite, she constantly plays, she has so much energy and she lets you pet her for maybe a minute before she runs off to play again. She talks so much too, she's always fussing about something. But my girl sleeps with me in bed every single night where not one of my males would ever sleep with anyone. I think this is true for dogs as well.

 

[pusheen]

I highly doubt this is a gender difference. I have three boys, and two are aloof and walk around your hand if you even reach out to pet them. One is very affectionate and loves to be around us. I've fostered a bunch of female cats and kittens who have been crazy affectionate. I definitely think this is cat-dependent.

 

[nepenthes]

This surely calls for a poll..

I'm geniunely curious because apparently the majority of cat owners seem to agree with that and when the majority agrees there's gotta be some kind of truth to it.. 

 

[miagi's_mommy]

My female Angel is just as affectionate as my boys. Perhaps it's because she was raised around them. I believe every cat is an individual, but Angel is just as sweet as Miagi & Tiger were.

She has her crabby moments but most cats do.

That doesn't make her any less of a sweetheart.

 

[sprin]

I've actually had the opposite experience. My most affectionate cat was female. The first moment I met her she was rubbing against me, purring, asking to be pet, and she never stopped. She was a total lap cat, and would basically snuggle up whenever I sat down. It was adorable, she was just wonderful. On the other hand, my newest cat Tony has been really difficult to win over. He still scratches me a lot, and he won't tolerate being picked up or getting in laps at all. He follows me around and likes to be talked to, but isn't a snuggler. He's warmed up to being pet for longer periods of time, but that took several months of exposure. So, I think it's all based on the individual. My other two cats (boy and girl) fall more inbetween, both pretty affectionate and snuggly.

Actually it's funny, because Robin the affectionate cat was a tortie, and they have a reputation for being sort of bratty. But she was just a sweetheart. While Tony is an orange tabby, and the vet tech told me that she felt like orange tabbies were the mellowest, sweetest cats before Tony proceeded to scratch the heck out of her arms and require sedation to be examined. Shows you how stereotypes can be misleading.

 

[mjandclyde]

I have 2 male cats who are affectionate yet still very hard to win over fully. 

 

[di and bob]

Having had many cats in my life, and taking care of strays and ferals, I can say that the rule has always been; they are all affectionate when they are young, then as they get older the males remain affectionate while the females seem to become more aloof and rule the household. Then comes the exception to the rule, I now have a two year old stray that is the biggest snugglebug I have ever seen, she wants attention all the time. So now I believe that that while males may be more affectionate, once in a while a female comes along that is too. So now I believe it depends on the makeup of the cat, with males being predominate in the affection wanting. My soulmate was a crabby, aloof  female and she was the cat I loved the most in the world, so you learn to be accepting and just go with your heart.

 

[lifewith3cats]

I tend to think this has more to do with how much and how well the cats, as kittens,  were handled by humans from their 4-8 week periods of their life, before they got adopted out.

My Maine Coon was held every day by the prior owner's daughter after she got home from school. She loved my cat, but she knew they weren't keeping the kittens. However, my 1yr old female appears to have not been held a whole lot by the prior owners. The couple worked extremely long hours, and weren't "cat people" to begin with, and they had no children.

I'm guessing my female Tabby spent the 4-7 week period before we got her not being held a whole lot. This very early socializing period is critical into determining what they want in terms of handling, and what they expect from their human families.

 

[skelekittycat]

I'd say it depends very much on the experience they had.

My parents have four cats. All of them apart from one love to be petted and cuddles, but they're not lap cats and they much prefer to be beside you or on the floor.

Two of them were feral kittens that we foster failed on. The other was adopted and grew very close to our dog and it took years to get him to even sleep in the house after she died.

However, my two boys are 17 weeks old are are the cuddliest cats I have ever, ever known. They will stop at nothing to be the centre of attention, they sleep on our legs, chests, faces, anything they can reach really, and I can guarantee every morning I'll be woken up about 6am for sleepy cuddles.

They were born in a house, to a woman who had 18 grandchildren. When I asked if they were socialised, she said that she had a different grandkid or two over every day, and that they were absolutely adored, and it really really shows. They're not nervous around new people, they're very boisterous, and although they're only really cuddly with us, we have two very very affectionate boys on our hands. Moreso since they were neutered at the beginning of the week!

 

[nepenthes]

 
Having had many cats in my life, and taking care of strays and ferals, I can say that the rule has always been; they are all affectionate when they are young, then as they get older the males remain affectionate while the females seem to become more aloof and rule the household. Then comes the exception to the rule, I now have a two year old stray that is the biggest snugglebug I have ever seen, she wants attention all the time. So now I believe that that while males may be more affectionate, once in a while a female comes along that is too. So now I believe it depends on the makeup of the cat, with males being predominate in the affection wanting. My soulmate was a crabby, aloof  female and she was the cat I loved the most in the world, so you learn to be accepting and just go with your heart.

" they are all affectionate when they are young, then as they get older the males remain affectionate while the females seem to become more aloof and rule the household" THIS is totally the case with my cats. Both are the same age and musta been 3 months old when i adopted them at the same time (maybe a ten-day diff give or take)..at first both were equally lovely and would spend hours on my lap as i youtubed myself to sleep. 

But I do feel that lots of other points everyone made here are valid. I kind of have an idea of my female's background coz the woman i adopted her from is on my facebook. Apparently she was the offspring of her cat and she always showed a lot of love for her, always asking about her and all.

My male on the contrary, i really have no idea who raised and how he was raised in its first few weeks. 

 I'd like to thank all the wonderful and enlightening responses this has been getting. This community is fantastic. I'm so glad i found it.

 

[msserena]

I think it has to do with the individual cat, not the gender. I grew up with a male, I loved that cat so much, we were super close, he even died under my window.

After I moved out of my parents house, I got a little girl & had her for 17 wonderful years. She was like a child to me ( I don't have any human kids) & we were very very close. When she fell off the 2nd story balcony, when I came home from work, she was just sitting at the neighbors place meowing. She didn't realize she was outside & free! I think she wanted her momma.

I don't know if it's because I was around her at a different point in my life but she was the best cat I've ever had, no doubt in my mind.

 

[shanlarge]

I had always heard that males tend to be more affectionate and did some searching on the subject before adopting my new kitten.  I went back and forth so much between male and female that I decided to get both!  (and had heard that adopting littermates is a great thing to do.)  I desperately wanted an affectionate lap cat as my others have been more aloof, but sweet in their own way.  So, I now have two 16 week old littermates and surprisingly, my female is, by far, the more affectionate of the two.  I was convinced that it would be the male.  So, I will wait and see what happens as they get older but so far, she is my little cuddle bug!