when to meet face to face? (two kittens)

[lucicat]

And just bc the new baby is SO cute:

 

[She's a witch]

It’s great they’re eating together! Next time you can move their bowls closer to each other, and closer with every meal.
I don’t think you’ll know if he’s “alpha” at this point, they may be to young to know themselves. I think she let him eat because she was either confused, surprised or curious, she may have taken the opportunity to have him close to stare at him from short distance without him reacting.
Basically the more they are around each other, the better they know each other which is what we want. Sati is clearly very interested in him and she will want to chase and pounce him, to which he can react with less enthusiasm, but this is ok - they don’t know each other yet and they don’t know how to play with other. Especially Sati if she wasn’t around other kittens for several months, she might have forgotten
Don’t worry about swatting and hissing, it is all normal when cats meet each other for the first time. When you’re ready, you can let them be together longer when they do it to see what happens next. For now, rather than separating them, you can try to redirect their attention with wand toy, or with some auto moving toy (I highly recommend Hexbug nano:
HEXBUG Nano Nitro 5 Pack Toy

 

[lucicat]

It’s great they’re eating together! Next time you can move their bowls closer to each other, and closer with every meal.
I don’t think you’ll know if he’s “alpha” at this point, they may be to young to know themselves. I think she let him eat because she was either confused, surprised or curious, she may have taken the opportunity to have him close to stare at him from short distance without him reacting.
Basically the more they are around each other, the better they know each other which is what we want. Sati is clearly very interested in him and she will want to chase and pounce him, to which he can react with less enthusiasm, but this is ok - they don’t know each other yet and they don’t know how to play with other. Especially Sati if she wasn’t around other kittens for several months, she might have forgotten
Don’t worry about swatting and hissing, it is all normal when cats meet each other for the first time. When you’re ready, you can let them be together longer when they do it to see what happens next. For now, rather than separating them, you can try to redirect their attention with wand toy, or with some auto moving toy (I highly recommend Hexbug nano:
HEXBUG Nano Nitro 5 Pack Toy

Thank you!! We have some Hex bugs! I have not been able to distract Sati (resident kitten) when they are together. She is super focused on Ash (little new kitten). . .I got him playing with a wand toy a bit when they first met last night. Today I just used food as the distraction. Jackson Galaxy urges that you don't let them get into a "stare down" but to keep them occupied. . .and I've tried!!! But she will not be distracted from him. Sooooo, I guess it never goes quite how the books say it will.

I do think it's been good so far. I'm just nervous about how far to let the hissing and swatting go. . .

 

[lucicat]

Fed them lunch together. . .same result. while eating they are pretty chill. .. just eating and occasionally pausing to glance at the other. Again little dude ate the last few bites of resident kittens food. And she backed off and let him.

But after they were done eating they went straight to hissing and swatting. She gently pounced on him and he started growling a bit at her. . .she's being pretty mellow I think. . .it's very hard for me to interpret. So I separated them again. . .after the pounce and growl.

They constantly bat at each others paws under the door now. . . can't tell if they want to play or kill each other, haha

 

[She's a witch]

They want to play not kill, I can assure you the little one may be a bit afraid of the size of the Sati if he was not around older cats but kittens his size only, that’s why he’s growling. But he’ll get used to her size. What is her reaction on his growling? Does she retreat?

 

[She's a witch]

And I’m probably repeating myself, but it’s important: the more stressed you are, the more Ash is, he can sense it and think there’s a reason to be afraid. This is such a great opportunity for you to practice being calm. Take lots of big breaths and remind yourself that everything is ok, as it really is doing great!

 

[lucicat]

They want to play not kill, I can assure you the little one may be a bit afraid of the size of the Sati if he was not around older cats but kittens his size only, that’s why he’s growling. But he’ll get used to her size. What is her reaction on his growling? Does she retreat?

typically she has been retreating when he hisses or growls yes. She seems surprised honestly. ha. She's not been around other cats in 2 months that we've had her and I have never heard her hiss or growl.

Yeah, he was with his mom and litter mates only till a week ago, so I Guess he's not used to bigger cats that are not his mom. they were dancing around each other a bit--sniffing, paw batting each other, he hissed a bit-- he rolled over on to his belly (defensive I expect), she pounced (but it seemed gentle) he growled and she backed up a bit. Then I separated them as I got a bit nervous.

 

[lucicat]

And I’m probably repeating myself, but it’s important: the more stressed you are, the more Ash is, he can sense it and think there’s a reason to be afraid. This is such a great opportunity for you to practice being calm. Take lots of big breaths and remind yourself that everything is ok, as it really is doing great!

THanks! Yeah that's a hard one for me. .I tend to be anxious anyway. . .and this whole thing turns it up for me. . .I'm trying to be calm.

 

[She's a witch]

typically she has been retreating when he hisses or growls yes. She seems surprised honestly. ha. She's not been around other cats in 2 months that we've had her and I have never heard her hiss or growl.

Yeah, he was with his mom and litter mates only till a week ago, so I Guess he's not used to bigger cats that are not his mom. they were dancing around each other a bit--sniffing, paw batting each other, he hissed a bit-- he rolled over on to his belly (defensive I expect), she pounced (but it seemed gentle) he growled and she backed up a bit. Then I separated them as I got a bit nervous.

It means that she respects his message, which is great. I would totally wait what happens next, I’m pretty sure they’ll start chasing around playfully very soon. It seems he know how to let her know it’s too much for him and she listens so relax and let them play a bit longer, despite hisong and growling

 

[lucicat]

Sati resident kitten went right to new kittens door this morning. She’s definitely started to hang out by his door and want interaction.
Then when I fed them breakfast together, they greeted each other tails up, touched noses (which seems super positive) but then 5 seconds later she pounces him and starts bunny kicking him, he gives a yelp. Ugh. Then they separate to eat.

I took this video after they ate and agsin started to interact. It looks pretty playful and mellow, but I’d love your thoughts! Of course after this video she pounces him agsin (goes after him under that tunnel) and he growls. So I separated them. Not sure how long to wait and watch when she gets pouncy???

 

[lucicat]

Hmmm it won’t attach my video

 

[Kieka]

Hmmm it won’t attach my video

Videos have to be compressed and upload to your media to post to threads.

What you are describing sounds perfectly normal. I'd let them play and get past the hissing and growling. Think of it as them speaking two different languages and learning to talk to each other. There is bound to be a learning curve but they will get there.

Another interpretation to her stepping back to let him eat is she is taking care of him. My boy, Link, will leave food in his bowl if he knows one of the other two finished theirs. He will step back or do something else then come back when they are done to see if they left him anything. It's not a passive thing but rather making sure his friends get some too.

 

[She's a witch]

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The shorter they are together, the more excited Sati is when they see each other, since their time is limited. When you’ll end the separation, she will learn to understand that she has Ash full time and won’t be pouncing on him whenever she has a chance. I’d let them stay together much longer, personally I’d stop separating them completely and I wouldn’t interfere unless there’s blood, which is extremely unlikely in your case.

Kieka has already said that cats’ play is functional and I want to reinforce it, their play is after all, an introduction to kill... it sounds horrible to us humans and sometimes it looks that way, but it is what it is. They wrestle, they pounce, they bunny kick, they chase etc. And as long as they communicate during this play through hissing, growling etc all is good.

 

[duncanmac]

Sati resident kitten went right to new kittens door this morning. She’s definitely started to hang out by his door and want interaction.
Then when I fed them breakfast together, they greeted each other tails up, touched noses (which seems super positive) but then 5 seconds later she pounces him and starts bunny kicking him, he gives a yelp. Ugh. Then they separate to eat.
<<snip>>

At first, our new kitten would hiss and cry when her much bigger brothers wrestled with her, and still will on occasion, but after she ran away, she would go right back the them and start all over. It's all totally normal. Wait until the weekend or your next day off and let them be together for a longer while and see what happens.

 

[lucicat]

http://[URL]https://thecatsite.com/ams/how-to-upload-and-add-videos-to-your-posts.33881/

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The shorter they are together, the more excited Sati is when they see each other, since their time is limited. When you’ll end the separation, she will learn to understand that she has Ash full time and won’t be pouncing on him whenever she has a chance. I’d let them stay together much longer, personally I’d stop separating them completely and I wouldn’t interfere unless there’s blood, which is extremely unlikely in your case.

Kieka has already said that cats’ play is functional and I want to reinforce it, their play is after all, an introduction to kill... it sounds horrible to us humans and sometimes it looks that way, but it is what it is. They wrestle, they pounce, they bunny kick, they chase etc. And as long as they communicate during this play through hissing, growling etc all is good.

I think you are right. . .it's just really hard for me. I keep thinking that the little one will get hurt or they will not get along and I'll have massive problems on my hands.

But the resident kitten has taken to camping out by new kittens door and isn't interacting with me as much as normal . . .so I guess she needs more contact with him. ..

 

[lucicat]

I’m so stressed and disheartened. Let them be together for longer this evening. Same a lot of hissing swatting pouncing. Seemed like it was still ok snd in the realm of play. But then I noticed some blood on Ash’s white fur.
I think he got scratched/bit too hard on the leg. It’s hard to see anything, can’t exactly see a wound. But def some blood on his leg .

I’m just really upset about this. I don’t know what to do.

 

[Kieka]

I’m so stressed and disheartened. Let them be together for longer this evening. Same a lot of hissing swatting pouncing. Seemed like it was still ok snd in the realm of play. But then I noticed some blood on Ash’s white fur.
I think he got scratched/bit too hard on the leg. It’s hard to see anything, can’t exactly see a wound. But def some blood on his leg .

I’m just really upset about this. I don’t know what to do.

It can happen. Your older one hasn't been around other cats and doesn't know how hard is too hard. She has to learn by the younger one saying "how! That hurt!"

Keep an eye on the spot for any swelling or continued bleeding but it likely was just a light scratch and it may have been from bumping into something. Its nota step back. Just a stumble.

 

[She's a witch]

Do you trim their nails? Make sure to do that regularly. It seems like accidental scratch To me. Don’t let it discourage you, they’re doing great and you’re doing great.

If that’s too difficult for you, you can ask your partner to be with them longer and go for a walk or some place. My husband did that as watching them play fight at the beginning was just too much for him. He loves this now!

 

[lucicat]

Do you trim their nails? Make sure to do that regularly. It seems like accidental scratch To me. Don’t let it discourage you, they’re doing great and you’re doing great.

If that’s too difficult for you, you can ask your partner to be with them longer and go for a walk or some place. My husband did that as watching them play fight at the beginning was just too much for him. He loves this now!

thanks! I posted a video of some of their play from tonight in a new thread. .. but I'll try and put the link here too. I'd love to know what you think.
New video by Lucinda Frachtenberg

 

[lucicat]

It can happen. Your older one hasn't been around other cats and doesn't know how hard is too hard. She has to learn by the younger one saying "how! That hurt!"

Keep an eye on the spot for any swelling or continued bleeding but it likely was just a light scratch and it may have been from bumping into something. Its nota step back. Just a stumble.

Thank you. I'm going to try and stay positive. Ash seems totally fine now. . .I think the scratch was pretty superficial--but I'll keep an eye on it. I posted a video in the above comment and a new thread. . .