When Is It Time To Try Meds?

[olivecat]

Full background on our situation here. Momo, 10 yo neutered male, has been here 2.5 months. Olive, 10 yo spayed female, has been with us 9+ years. Both have lived peacefully with other cats before. We are still having to keep them separated 24/7 and my husband is getting a bit frustrated by the very slow progress. I think her extreme reaction (hissing, growling, screaming like a banshee if he gets close) is provoking him, so if we could get her calm enough to let him sniff her a bit and satisfy his curiosity, we might make more headway. She cannot be distracted by food, treats, toys, or cuddles if he is nearby. He can generally be distracted, but he has given chase a couple of times and tackled her. We have tried Feliway diffusers (no apparent effect), soothing music, and Composure treats (neither cat will eat them). Thankfully both cats are eating well and using the litter box, and Olive acts totally normal as long as he's not around. At what point do we consider a low-dose med for Olive to help her overcome her apparent fear of Momo? What are the best options? Generally I like to stick to natural approaches, but I'm worried we will never get over this hump!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. These are older cats that you have - generally, but not always, an introduction process could go on for months and months.

There are a ton of calming products on the market, and as you have already found out not all work on all cats. You can also try Bach Rescue Remedy, which are drops you can rub into a cat's ear to help calm them. Also, you can brew some chamomile tea (from grocery store tea bags - German, NOT English, and no additives); just brew it, cool it, and add some to a bit of water to see if they will drink it. I think the standard rule of them is about 3 teaspoons for a cat under 11 pounds. The tea has calming properties.

You can also do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are other ones you might want to try.

Just in case there are any tips in these articles that might help:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

 

[olivecat]

Hi. These are older cats that you have - generally, but not always, an introduction process could go on for months and months.

There are a ton of calming products on the market, and as you have already found out not all work on all cats. You can also try Bach Rescue Remedy, which are drops you can rub into a cat's ear to help calm them. Also, you can brew some chamomile tea (from grocery store tea bags - German, NOT English, and no additives); just brew it, cool it, and add some to a bit of water to see if they will drink it. I think the standard rule of them is about 3 teaspoons for a cat under 11 pounds. The tea has calming properties.

You can also do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are other ones you might want to try.

Just in case there are any tips in these articles that might help:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

Thanks! I've read (and reread, lol) the articles but did not realize you could apply Rescue Remedy to the ear! I have some already and will definitely give that a shot instead of adding it to their water, where I suspect it gets too diluted to do much. Thank you so much.

 

[Furballsmom]

Let us know how things go

 

[GPandS]

How long was your female an "only" cat? (before getting the male 2 months ago) Maybe because she is "older" she no longer wants to share you with other cats? Just an idea to why she is doing this, thought it may help you have a solution if you can come up with the cause. I have 2 almost 13 yr old cats, rescued as baby kittens; and one 7 yr old, found when she was around 2..she doesn't get along with any cats or dog.. we have always kept her in a separate part of the house, and she seems happy with it. I think some cats are just meant to be solo for whatever reason. good luck.

 

[GPandS]

After reading your other post, which is what I should've done in the beginning, I see the answers to my questions... she may want to be the only cat; and doesn't want to share the family with the new kitty. Good luck.

 

[She's a witch]

If my only alternative was to rehome a cat or to medicate her with the powerful drugs (and psychoactive meds are by no means powerful) that she otherwise might not need (eg. in a different home), I would personally choose what's better for a cat and not necessarily for me - ie rehome the cat, as heartbreaking as it is. Hopefully you won't face such alternative and some natural tranquilizers would work. For my cats calming collars did wonders in the stressful time. Good luck!

 

[1 bruce 1]

Full background on our situation here. Momo, 10 yo neutered male, has been here 2.5 months. Olive, 10 yo spayed female, has been with us 9+ years. Both have lived peacefully with other cats before. We are still having to keep them separated 24/7 and my husband is getting a bit frustrated by the very slow progress. I think her extreme reaction (hissing, growling, screaming like a banshee if he gets close) is provoking him, so if we could get her calm enough to let him sniff her a bit and satisfy his curiosity, we might make more headway. She cannot be distracted by food, treats, toys, or cuddles if he is nearby. He can generally be distracted, but he has given chase a couple of times and tackled her. We have tried Feliway diffusers (no apparent effect), soothing music, and Composure treats (neither cat will eat them). Thankfully both cats are eating well and using the litter box, and Olive acts totally normal as long as he's not around. At what point do we consider a low-dose med for Olive to help her overcome her apparent fear of Momo? What are the best options? Generally I like to stick to natural approaches, but I'm worried we will never get over this hump!
View attachment 283056 View attachment 283058

Hi there
Do you mean you're trying to distract her with food, treats, cuddles, toys, anything you can, only once he's nearby and she's gone into the hissing and growling mode?

 

[susanm9006]

Two and a half months is a very short time in the life of a nine year old cat. It could take months more before she is more accepting of him, with or without medication, Beyond the screaming and hissing when he annoys her what else does she do? How long have you left the two together?

 

[olivecat]

Thanks, all! Sorry I didn't see the replies before now; I didn't get email notifications except for the first one!

After reading your other post, which is what I should've done in the beginning, I see the answers to my questions... she may want to be the only cat; and doesn't want to share the family with the new kitty. Good luck.

This is what my husband thinks--that she got used to being solo after Henry died (they weren't BFFs but did play together and rarely fought) and isn't interested in having another cat. But Momo's here and seems happy, so I'd still like to try to make it work. Especially since he's 10. Not giving up just yet!

If my only alternative was to rehome a cat or to medicate her with the powerful drugs (and psychoactive meds are by no means powerful) that she otherwise might not need (eg. in a different home), I would personally choose what's better for a cat and not necessarily for me - ie rehome the cat, as heartbreaking as it is. Hopefully you won't face such alternative and some natural tranquilizers would work. For my cats calming collars did wonders in the stressful time. Good luck!

Thank you! Rest assured, Olive's not going anywhere; it'd be Momo I'd have to return to the shelter. But I'm not there yet. I'm going to try the Rescue Remedy on their ears. Neither cat normally wears a collar, so I don't know how the calming collar would go over. Did you have problems with yours tolerating it?

Hi there
Do you mean you're trying to distract her with food, treats, cuddles, toys, anything you can, only once he's nearby and she's gone into the hissing and growling mode?

Not solely once he's already around. Recently she was on the counter already eating when we let him into the kitchen, and I was able to give him treats to distract *him* on the floor and she hissed and then went back to her food, which was a victory. I'm sure being up high helped her confidence. When he first got here I could give them both treats within a few feet of each other (with her hissing in between), but I think the couple of chasing incidents really set us back and she's just plain scared of him now. She won't eat or play anywhere near the closed door to his room. We've been trying 10-15 minute "exposure therapy" sessions with them, with one cat in a large mesh dog crate and the other loose in the room with us (we alternate who's where), and she has zero interest in food or treats during that experience. She just watches him and hisses or low growls as he eats his food. I do think she's getting *slightly* better with that; we play harp music and I speak softly to her and pet her gently, but mostly she's just interested in getting out of there! We do spend one-on-one time with her every day, playing with her (she's not really into it, but we try ) and loving on her. She's 100% herself when he's not around.

 

[olivecat]

Two and a half months is a very short time in the life of a nine year old cat. It could take months more before she is more accepting of him, with or without medication, Beyond the screaming and hissing when he annoys her what else does she do? How long have you left the two together?

Right, I was prepared for it to take months, but at 2.5 months I guess I thought we'd see a few more hopeful signs. I'm just feeling stuck at this step and wonder how to move forward if she's still so scared. Hissing, spitting, and growling are her main responses, with increasing intensity the closer he gets. Ears and tail twitchy. She's on high alert. She's swatted at him but not actually made contact that I have seen. When he chases he's silent, kind of in stalking mode. I suspect he thinks it's fun--he's a very energetic 10 year old and loves to play. (I didn't know this at the shelter--he was petrified and hiding under the cages.) He doesn't hiss, except at the vacuum cleaner! Currently they're separated almost 24/7 except for those 10-15 minutes of exposure therapy I mentioned above. (There are some short videos of that at the end of my original post. I'll try to add one where Momo's the loose cat.)

 

[susanm9006]

Perhaps she needs to be allowed to get a little noisier and give him a few good swats before she can get it out of her system and he learns some manners.

 

[olivecat]

Perhaps she needs to be allowed to get a little noisier and give him a few good swats before she can get it out of her system and he learns some manners.

I'm all for that! It would definitely be preferable to her peeing herself, which she's done twice when he's chased her.

 

[Furballsmom]

How are things going?

 

[olivecat]

How are things going?

Eh... here's this morning. Rescue Remedy has been applied on both cats' ears and Olive (in crate) had not yet had breakfast so I thought she might eat. No dice. I could kick myself because Momo did take a swipe shortly after this video and I thought I was still recording, but I wasn't. Olive yowled and sort of flopped onto her side, but obviously neither could make actual contact. We stayed in the room with them for probably 5 minutes after that and he ignored her. Thank you for checking in. I'll keep recording in hopes I can catch an "incident"...though of course a non-incident would be welcome too!

 

[olivecat]

PS. Momo had already finished eating when this video was taken. He pays no attention to anything else until his food's gone.

 

[Furballsmom]

Goodness, he's gorgeous, actually so is she but oh dear, she looks so unhappy

 

[olivecat]

Thank you, and I know. She snaps out of it quickly once she's released from the room, but it's still upsetting to see her like that.

 

[Furballsmom]

hang in there!