What to Do?

[Tigger's Mum]

Not sure if I'm posting this in the correct forum so don't mind if it's moved.

As most of you know, I took on a long-term foster cat when my neighbour was evicted from his house by his brother (brother was landlord and has since sold the house).

To start with, Fluffy's owner visited regularly and texted more or less every other day. His visits have become longer and longer apart and the last time he visited was the beginning of February. A lot of what he said didn't ring true and both myself and my son had serious doubts. Fluffy's owner has had a drink and substance problem in the past, did keep "clean" but we think he's fallen by the wayside again. When he visited the last time, Fluffy wouldn't go near him. That was the last we saw or heard from him.

Fluffy has decided I am her human and is always on my lap or very close by. I have to admit, despite trying not to, I have fallen in love with her.

I think she should stay with us. Her best interests must come first. When she lived next door, she was outside 90% of the time. She used to jump in and out of a small window he used to keep open for her. When she came to us, she was being eaten alive by fleas (as we found out when they spread to my cats) despite her owner saying he deflead her every month It would seem he got the flea treatment but only used it now and again. Of course, having fleas she also had worms, both of which we had her treated for. She doesn't have fleas or worms now and nor do the rest of my cats. That battle was won.

If her owner turns up in the future and wants her back, how would you handle this? I feel she's been abandoned now and returning to her owner would not be in her best interests but I need to handle it tactfully and I tend to be blunt. Even if her owner had maintained contact/visits, he was told by our Council's housing department that it would be 2 to 3 years before they could find him a house or flat (apartment). I also think Fluffy herself knows because of the way she follows me around, is always on my lap, head butts me and sleeps on my bed close to me every night.

 

[catapault]

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

With any luck Fluffy's former owner will neither show up again or, if he does, will not want her back. If she had not been chipped, do so promptly and register in your name. Meanwhile - keep all receipts for her food and vet care as proof that you have been supporting her.

Good luck!

 

[iPappy]

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

With any luck Fluffy's former owner will neither show up again or, if he does, will not want her back. If she had not been chipped, do so promptly and register in your name. Meanwhile - keep all receipts for her food and vet care as proof that you have been supporting her.

Good luck!

All of the above.
Was this long term fostering situation a verbal agreement, or do you have anything in writing with the original owner?

 

[Caspers Human]

After just having taken in a stray cat, my opinion is that you should take her to the vet, have her checked over, make sure she's got all her shots, have her spayed and put in a microchip. Keep the vet bills and any other paperwork in a safe place.

As far as I'm concerned, she's YOUR cat, now, and you will have the paperwork to prove it.

If the original owner comes back, offer him £50 for the cat. If he's as hard up as it sounds, he'll probably take the money and turn tail.

If the guy tries to put up a fuss, take him to your local Magistrate. (Justice of the Peace, Small Claims Court or whatever they call it where you live.) Tell the judge that you believe the cat was ABANDONED to your care. If the last time the original owner even contacted you was in February it is, now, approaching the three month mark. I believe a judge would say that's a reasonable amount of time for the owner to contact you and would assume abandonment.

Bring your vet bills and any other paperwork or receipts you have that show your expenditures for the care of this cat. I think that any judge would rule in your favor.

Also, tell the judge that you have offered him £50 and that the offer still stands. If the guy takes the offer, case closed.

If the guy puts up a fuss and still insists that it's his cat, tell the judge that you want to be repayed for ALL of your expenses in taking care of the cat. Let's just say that you spent £2 per day for cat food. Over the span of 90 days, that's £180. When we took our new cat to the vet it cost us about $300. (US) That comes to somewhere in the neighborhood of £250. Right? I think that, by the time you add up vet bills, care and feeding plus any other expenses that you can reasonably prove, you would be well justified in asking for £500 in order to return the cat. Just make sure you have receipts and paperwork to prove it.

When faced with the alternatives of selling you the cat for £50 or reimbursing you £500 for the cat's care, he won't have any choice.

 

[cmshap]

If the original owner comes back, offer him £50 for the cat. If he's as hard up as it sounds, he'll probably take the money and turn tail.

I completely agree with all the other advice about saving receipts, preparing for a potential legal case, etc.

But I'd like to underscore the above point. This is a simple way to possibly make the situation go away right upfront. If you can afford it, prepare to make a cash offer to the owner if he shows up again. And prepare a bill of sale for him to sign, should he accept such a cash offer.

 

[iPappy]

I completely agree with all the other advice about saving receipts, preparing for a potential legal case, etc.

But I'd like to underscore the above point. This is a simple way to possibly make the situation go away right upfront. If you can afford it, prepare to make a cash offer to the owner if he shows up again. And prepare a bill of sale for him to sign, should he accept such a cash offer.

Good idea on the bill of sale. However, after all this time with no communication, if they showed up at my house I would not answer the door. If it happened more than once or twice, I'd be calling the cops.

 

[cmshap]

Good idea on the bill of sale. However, after all this time with no communication, if they showed up at my house I would not answer the door. If it happened more than once or twice, I'd be calling the cops.

Yeah, that's the best first approach. Making a cash offer is also an acknowledgement you'd be making that the cat is still owned by him. I'd try to ignore first, myself.

Cash offer is just another tool to use if it becomes necessary.

 

[iPappy]

Yeah, that's the best first approach. Making a cash offer is also an acknowledgement you'd be making that the cat is still owned by him. I'd try to ignore first, myself.

Cash offer is just another tool to use if it becomes necessary.

I've done cash offers and would do it again!

 

[cmshap]

Fluffy's owner has had a drink and substance problem in the past, did keep "clean" but we think he's fallen by the wayside again. When he visited the last time, Fluffy wouldn't go near him. That was the last we saw or heard from him.

Speaking as a person who dealt with substance abuse in the past (in recovery now for 13+ years), this definitely sounds like a guy possibly relapsing. Especially given the eviction.

I never had a pet during that time of my life, nor should I have had one. But there's a great deal of denial involved in addiction. "I can turn this around, I will get my cat back." Reality eventually sinks in as you lose more and more things.

If I had a cat when I was using, and I had to give it up due to my actions... and then I got sober and turned my life around, I still wouldn't consider trying to reclaim it. Recovery takes a long time, and the cat was in a better home in the meantime.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

I'll try and answer all the very valid points made.

Fluffy is 7 years old and her owner had her spayed as soon as she was old enough so no problems there. He also had her microchipped but it's registered to an old address of his. He lived next door for about 5 years.

He usually sends me a text a few days before visiting. Twice he never turned up and when I texted him to find out if he was coming or not, he said he'd fallen asleep or forgotten. I've got all the texts on my phone - I've never deleted them. I've not texted him this time as I want to see how long he takes to get in contact...or not.

Good idea about keeping receipts. Difficult to work out as we have 10 cats including Fluffy. He fed her on the cheapest of cheap. Here she gets Royal Canin and Whiskas and you can see the improvement in her coat.

She is now an indoor only cat and doesn't bother trying to escape now. She did in the early days but either my son caught her or she came back within 10 minutes.

It's really quite a sad situation because her owner suffers from depression. Unfortunately, he turns to alcohol and weed which in the long run only makes matters worse. I am eternally grateful that my son doesn't like either. Even at Christmas and New Year he won't touch it - doesn't like the smell but he does love his tea.

I think for now it is a waiting game.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

All of the above.
Was this long term fostering situation a verbal agreement, or do you have anything in writing with the original owner?

Verbal agreement. Nothing in writing. Everything happened very quickly. He knew he was being evicted, went to the Council and declared himself homeless through no fault of his own and the next day they'd found him a place in a shared house but no pets are allowed. It will take 2 - 3 years for him to get a place of his own. Fluffy is very settled here and the longer she is here, the more settled she's going to be and I don't think after 2 or 3 years it would be fair to uproot her again.

 

[Caspers Human]

If you have ten cats, I think a reasonable way to estimate the cost of upkeep for one cat would be to add up expenditures to feed all ten cats for a month then divide by ten.

I'm not implying that you'd want to go to court in this matter. Just call it a figure of speech... I think that any judge would call that reasonable and rule in your favor.

I'd say that, just off the top of my head, £50 per month would be a reasonable figure. At £50/mo. x 3 mos. that comes out to £150.

The bottom line would be that the guy either pays you £150 to get the cat back or you pay him £50 and keep the cat.

That sounds like a square deal in my book.

 

[iPappy]

Speaking as a person who dealt with substance abuse in the past (in recovery now for 13+ years), this definitely sounds like a guy possibly relapsing. Especially given the eviction.

I never had a pet during that time of my life, nor should I have had one. But there's a great deal of denial involved in addiction. "I can turn this around, I will get my cat back." Reality eventually sinks in as you lose more and more things.

If I had a cat when I was using, and I had to give it up due to my actions... and then I got sober and turned my life around, I still wouldn't consider trying to reclaim it. Recovery takes a long time, and the cat was in a better home in the meantime.

13+ years is freaking Awesome!!!!!!!! I am so happy you're one of the survivors!
I wondered if this guy was possibly relapsing too. If so, I hope he finds some help and can live a good life knowing his cat is safe and loved.

 

[iPappy]

I'll try and answer all the very valid points made.

Fluffy is 7 years old and her owner had her spayed as soon as she was old enough so no problems there. He also had her microchipped but it's registered to an old address of his. He lived next door for about 5 years.

He usually sends me a text a few days before visiting. Twice he never turned up and when I texted him to find out if he was coming or not, he said he'd fallen asleep or forgotten. I've got all the texts on my phone - I've never deleted them. I've not texted him this time as I want to see how long he takes to get in contact...or not.

Good idea about keeping receipts. Difficult to work out as we have 10 cats including Fluffy. He fed her on the cheapest of cheap. Here she gets Royal Canin and Whiskas and you can see the improvement in her coat.

She is now an indoor only cat and doesn't bother trying to escape now. She did in the early days but either my son caught her or she came back within 10 minutes.

It's really quite a sad situation because her owner suffers from depression. Unfortunately, he turns to alcohol and weed which in the long run only makes matters worse. I am eternally grateful that my son doesn't like either. Even at Christmas and New Year he won't touch it - doesn't like the smell but he does love his tea.

I think for now it is a waiting game.

Could you screen shot and save the entire text conversation on the off chance your phone would get broken or need replaced? I feel bad for the original owner. Hopefully, he'll be cooperative and maybe he's quietly trying to forfeit ownership without outright asking if you'll just keep her. I hope his situation improves.

 

[cmshap]

Fluffy is very settled here and the longer she is here, the more settled she's going to be and I don't think after 2 or 3 years it would be fair to uproot her again.

That's an important point. If this guy cares about his cat, he should seriously think about this if he one day decides to try to get his cat back.

Is he a reasonable person? Another angle to this is to simply explain how happy Fluffy is with you, and how rehoming a cat is a traumatic experience. You already said that on his last visit, she wouldn't even go near him. That doesn't sound like a rehoming option that will do anything but cause tremendous stress.

If he becomes stable enough to want his cat back, he should really think about getting a new cat himself.

I don't know how difficult it would be to have this conversation, should be come back some day, but if he loves his cat, he should be at least somewhat receptive to these points. Like I said, if I had my cat during my drug using days, and I had to give him up to a good home for 2-3 years while in recovery, I would feel terrible trying to yank him back and rehome him yet again.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

That's an important point. If this guy cares about his cat, he should seriously think about this if he one day decides to try to get his cat back.

Is he a reasonable person? Another angle to this is to simply explain how happy Fluffy is with you, and how rehoming a cat is a traumatic experience. You already said that on his last visit, she wouldn't even go near him. That doesn't sound like a rehoming option that will do anything but cause tremendous stress.

If he becomes stable enough to want his cat back, he should really think about getting a new cat himself.

I don't know how difficult it would be to have this conversation, should be come back some day, but if he loves his cat, he should be at least somewhat receptive to these points. Like I said, if I had my cat during my drug using days, and I had to give him up to a good home for 2-3 years while in recovery, I would feel terrible trying to yank him back and rehome him yet again.

Yes, he is a reasonable person and was a good neighbour. All this came about because he asked his brother to make some repairs to the house, particularly the central heating. Poor man sat all last winter with no heating. He asked repeatedly, it fell on deaf ears. By Law in England a Landlord must carry out repairs. He told his brother this and the response was he was given 1 weeks notice to quit - that in itself is illegal. A tenant must be given a minimum of 6 weeks notice. My neighbour sought advice and his brother was told he must adhere to the proper procedure so he issued a new notice to quit for the required timescale. Just to rub salt into the wounds, he put the house on the market, didn't tell his brother. The first he knew was when people were knocking on the door to view the house. Nasty.

To let you understand the calibre of this man, before his brother became tenant, the brother lived in the house (he remarried and moved in with his new wife elsewhere). He had a dog. He would go away for long weekends leaving the poor dog on his own in the house. No-one was feeding the dog or letting him out so you can imagine the mess. The dog drove us all mad with his constant barking and whining (not that I blame the dog). I reported it, neighbours reported it to the RSPCA but they wouldn't do anything. Subsequently, the dog ended up in rescue as a special case because he was so unsocialised, was extremely aggressive to other dogs that he couldn't be rehomed and became a permanent resident. The neighbour surrendered the dog himself then moved out. He then let the house out to his brother who gave up his council flat to move here as it was safer for his cat (behind our houses is woodland and fields - a cat's paradise). He knows now it was the worst thing he did.

The house was sold and is currently being renovated by the new Landlord who will be letting it out once it's all finished. Thankfully, he and his wife are very nice people and have assured me they will find nice neighbours for us.

This is a case of history repeating itself. 10 years ago my best friend phoned me. Her niece's relationship broke up and she needed to find a foster home for her two cats for about 3 months. She had my phone number but never once phoned to ask how her cats were so I knew early on they wouldn't be going back. A year later my friend phoned to tell me that her niece didn't want the cats back (no surprise there) and so they became much loved members of my family.

I think if Fluffy's owner visits again I will ask him to sign Fluffy over to me. Of course, he would be free to visit any time he wanted as, despite his faults, we do like him. I also hope he can get himself sorted out and I'm so glad you managed to.

 

[Caspers Human]

I think if Fluffy's owner visits again I will ask him to sign Fluffy over to me.

I think you've got a balanced outlook on the situation. I agree with it... Just ask.

If things go sideways, I think you'll have a good handle on things.

I'm sure things will work out for you.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

I think you've got a balanced outlook on the situation. I agree with it... Just ask.

If things go sideways, I think you'll have a good handle on things.

I'm sure things will work out for you.

Fluffy's welfare has to come first. I think she already knows she's not going anywhere.

 

[Caspers Human]

...she's not going anywhere.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

Well, here we are again. I got a phone call from Fluffy's owner on Monday. That's the first time he's made contact since February 12th. Could he visit Fluffy on Tuesday. No problem I said. Tuesday afternoon, I get a text saying something's come up and he can't make it, could he come on Thursday instead? No problem.

He was supposed to come up at 5pm. 5pm came and went and no sign of him and no contact either. This time it did inconvenience me as I had a lot to do earlier so ended up rushing things and bouncing off the walls like a demented frizbee He'll probably get in contact over the next couple of days with the excuses of "I fell asleep"/"forgot it was Thursday"/"something came up" yada yada yada.

I suspect he's drinking again and probably back on the weed. There is now no way he will get Fluffy back. I'd never have an easy mind. What if he locked her out in the freezing cold and forgot about her? What if he went out, left her locked indoors with no food or water for days on end? It just doesn't bear thinking about.

I really hope he doesn't make contact again because if he does I'll rip him a new one and I don't mince my words.