Weight Loss - Cancer? IBD? Euthanasia?

[DesperateMistrustful]

One of the mobile vets was very kind to me. She said it's "shocking" that these practices won't sell me the injections. She also called about the VCPR enforcement after seeing my link but it's still active in our state. Not knowing that he'd already had biopsies and surgery, she wondered if it's intestinal lymphoma since nothing can be done if so. I will be hiring her for a check up for my other boy when the pandemic is over (if he's not dead by then, too). I feel forever changed by all of these heartless people. They get away with horrendous behavior because most of their clients aren't knowledgeable enough, care enough, or simply have nowhere else to go. After a life of pets I don't want to adopt an animal ever again, but if I had a vet I trusted...

She recommended the in-home euthanasia/palliative care vets who I had already begged. Only one of them could help me but she can, indeed, help me! She's very brave to still be going into people's homes right now. I sent over his piles of information and have an appointment for Thursday. I made sure that she can give me injectables since there's no way I could afford her driving out here every day. I also asked if they could forward all of the records they get, particularly the surgery notes, since no one will give me anything after repeated requests.

I'm done with all of these horrible places. I think I've bought him a little time: I've been blending the Friskies paté and adding clear Pedialyte or water to make a slurry. He's licking it up and actually getting something into him as well as unknowingly taking the full dose of S. boulardii to firm his stool (SEB is a hard sell). There is definitely something going on with his jaw since even licking the slurry can suddenly make him rear back and chomp/smack, I don't think this particular reaction is nausea. It seems like he's trying to realign his jaw? I don't know what this awful surgeon did to my poor boy. If he survives maybe we'll figure it out.

I removed all dry food night before yesterday. I should have done it sooner but I was desperate for him to eat and he likes it, but eating doesn't matter if he's just going to throw it all up. He vomited a small amount of bile yesterday morning and then a much larger amount this morning...but that might indicate he's actually digesting. There's been no food vomit since then and he actually had a small firm bowel movement yesterday (along with diarrhea) which I'm attributing to the S. boulardii. No other bowel movements so far and I'm afraid of making him constipated so I'll only give him his probiotic today. He's obviously still losing tons of weight and barely getting any calories but at least now he might not be so dehydrated. I will wake him up late tonight and make him eat a little something to try to prevent vomiting tomorrow.

He cuddled and purred last night in a much more normal, non-nauseated way. I'm not getting my hopes up but that was really nice to see.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I will take any small triumphs that we can get! And finding a vet that will come to you is not small at all! And he's eating, and not throwing up the actual food, and he cuddled and purred! No matter what the eventual outcome, with your persistence, you've bought him some more good days, compared to what he was having! And that is HUGE! My heart with yours!

 

[Furballsmom]

Everything Mamanyt1953 said

 

[DesperateMistrustful]

I'm SO, so relieved after meeting with this palliative vet. She was very kind and patient. She spent an entire two hours here going over all of his history in depth and what our options are.

My boy now has subcutaneous fluids, pepcid, cerenia, B12, transdermal mirataz, CBD oil and I can administer it all myself--oh no that's against federal law, guess I'm going to prison. She saw his echocardiogram and couldn't hear his murmur today. She isn't worried about steroid use so we'll probably try dex-sp or prednisolone for all of its benefits, but I want to see how he does on the above for a couple of days first. The atopica finally arrived and I'll attempt to get a refund on it, that will be fun (ugh).

I'm finally not alone in this. I told her I can't even express how much this means to me. She even offered emergency sedation medication in case we have to rush him to ER or wait for her to arrive--I think that is something that all animal guardians should have and wish I'd had it with my late ATE/CHF cat. She was only in pain for thirty minutes but I'd do anything to go back and take it away sooner.

No good news other than that, the nightly vomiting and diarrhea continues, but I feel so much better about whatever happens next. He finally has care and I can make him comfortable. The injections are SO EASY and he only has to be stuck once since the line has a port. He hated when the cerenia went in but that comes last and he was a good boy. She wouldn't be surprised if he throws a clot tomorrow or he's totally fine a month from now, only time will tell since we have no idea what's actually going on with him. She said he seems like a kitty who's been through a whole lot but he's still bright and mobile. She'll be honest with me if she thinks it's time and when it comes to that we'll know we did everything we could.

 

[Furballsmom]

She'll be honest with me if she thinks it's time and when it comes to that we'll know we did everything we could.

Bless her from the bottom of my heart for easing your stress and helping your baby

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I am more relieved than I can say that you have someone to actually HELP you with this! And he's comfortable! Next time you talk with her, tell her that a whole community of cat lovers are sending blessings her way!

 

[Furballsmom]

Next time you talk with her, tell her that a whole community of cat lovers are sending blessings her way!

Absolutely yes

 

[Mamanyt1953]

And tell your old vet,

 

[DesperateMistrustful]

I've been updating the vet instead of this thread. We have the vomiting under control but he's still having diarrhea, still nauseated, still not eating more than 70 calories a day (I got it up to 60+ by switching to a new high calorie dry food that he likes). He looks old and tired. The weight loss is so severe that it's hard to grab enough scruff to get in a needle. We've started dexamethasone-SP, his third dose was today but I'm not sure it's doing anything...he had one solid bowel movement but continues to yowl in pain for others. Last night he started to do an intermittent twitch that I think is gas pain.

I really love this vet but there's only so much she or I can do. She's coming for a follow up on Friday. I ordered a very potent probiotic at her recommendation, visbiome, but it won't get here for two weeks thanks to delays. I don't know if I'll have a cat in two weeks. I can't get a refund on atopica, either. Fecal transplant capsules are an option but I'm not forcing anything into his mouth if that's what his life is going to be like from now on. I think she's trying to subtly urge me to have a second chest x-ray done, I'm curious too but not enough to take him somewhere (if a mobile vet could visit I would have already done it). She politely bad mouthed the quality of the x-ray that started all of this. If the mass has grown we'd know it's cancer but if it's the same? If it shrunk? Can I even live without knowing what killed him?

He has some good mornings that make me think maybe we can get a handle on this, maybe he didn't come back to life for no reason...but it's usually bad. I can't watch him suffer like this for much longer. If he's not going to eat even at maintenance levels there's really nothing left to do (I'm not putting in a feeding tube since that's not the only problem, at this point I'd just let the poor boy rest). I don't want to put a deadline on it but I'm kind of thinking one more week from Friday to see significant improvement. Finish out the steroid. I don't know though, maybe I should wait for the probiotic, but most days I wouldn't even be able to get it into him. I'm way too burnt out to know what's best.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm way too burnt out to know what's best.

but continues to yowl in pain for others

He's losing weight and looks old and tired.

Poor baby, I'm so, so sorry

 

[DesperateMistrustful]

I was writing an update when he had a seizure. We're saying goodbye tomorrow. My sweet strong boy.

 

[Fegil]

Sleep tight little kitty, you had a good life with a loving and caring cat parent.

It's the hardest decision to make and maybe one of the most precious gifts - releasing them from suffering or pain. Hope you're doing ok.

 

[DesperateMistrustful]

He had a very bad night and I was able to get her to come first thing in the morning. He's no longer in pain. Just gonna give closure to this thread.

Yesterday was his best day eating. He had about 140 calories and lots of energy, but he was also having what I thought were myoclonic seizures induced by stimuli such as typing. His head was twitching, much the same way my other late cat's head was twitching (who also developed a head tilt at the end). As I was typing, thinking he was far away enough not to be triggered by it, he had a full body seizure that lasted 30 seconds. He regained function of his limbs after about two minutes. It alarmed him just as much as it did us. He purred after he recovered but that was the last time.

The vet had a lot of trouble pinning it on something unrelated. He had been eating enough for his glucose levels to not be that severe. She guesses it was lymphoma, his chest mass or something in his GI tract that was missed/developed or even his brain.

Since he'd had such a good day I decided to just watch him all night to see if we should continue treatment. He rapidly deteriorated. Discomfort, yowling, groaning, very similar to when he had ileus but also...different. He hadn't had a bowel movement since the day before. He looked so incredibly sick and in pain. I made the decision and tried to keep him comfortable. He then had a massive torrential vomit of everything he'd eaten. The sound of that will live with me forever like my ATE/CHF cat's howls of pain, it sounded like a waterfall.

I think the surgeries messed him up so badly he couldn't even process that amount of food. I think he wasn't eating because he literally couldn't get it into his intestines fast enough. I don't blame the surgeon for his death but I believe he shortened his life. They still won't give me the surgery notes and it's very likely they're hiding something.

The only thing I would change going back, knowing what I do but not knowing how it would play out, is to have waited on surgery. I would rule out EVERYTHING first and made sure it was cancer by elimination. But no one told me we could try other things, no one was his advocate, we just got an x-ray and were booted to a surgeon. I don't feel guilt because I was supposed to be able to trust the highest paid specialists, I shouldn't have to be the one to know what's best, and as soon as I realized what was going on I stepped up for him.

But I am still so very sad.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and for caring about him when no one else did.

 

[Furballsmom]

Bless your heart and soul.

If you think it might help you, and could be a way to honor him and introduce him to other members of our community, you could post about his life here;
How To Upload And Add Videos To Your Posts

 

[Norachan]

I'm sorry to hear this D DesperateMistrustful

It sounds like it really was time to let him go, you saved him a lot of suffering by helping him pass when you did.

I'll lock this thread now. If you would like to start a thread in his memory please do so in our Crossing the Bridge forum.

Rest in peace sweet boy, you will be missed.