Water gun on stray cat -- okay?

[sweetlilac]

Thanks, Feeby's owner. At this point I am willing to open my mind up. I am deeply heartbroken right now. I did have to use water again though not really ON Sammie just near him. But when I look at him, it's like being in love, just kind of how I feel when I look at and play with my Princess KittyKat. This is so painful to ME! And the neighbors are like, deal with it... goodbye! Like for days on end it's okay that he is out, rain, cold, whatever. So sad. He is so lonely and loving but he agresses on KittyKat.

We do have a porch made from a car cover.Maybe we could fence it in with something cat proof? We'd need to put a rfid chip on her or something, right, to let her and her alone open some sort of cat door? I don't know how she'd handle a collar... to open the door specifically to let her in. Not sure either how she'd like being enclosed...

As it stands I haven't seen her all day. Do domestic cats ever kill other cats? I am worried about her. I caught Sammie "staring down" at her empty "nest" today (after he already scared her off) that i made for her after her sibs passed, that she loves, especially with her warmer. No sight of her, and I am so worried. I know it's not Sammie's fault. Nothing but heartache since this happened for all involved. Not sure I can help. Willing to try.

PS she won't go inside the little "hut" I made for her when her sibs were still with her, which is still there on the right of the porch. She loves the stuffed animal! and the thermal blankies. But I will ditch the unused hut. Or ask if the feral society would like the hut.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I meant for a catio to be something that KittyKat would live in, not go in and out of at will. If she felt trapped at all in it the first time she went in, then once she got back out she might not go back in again, defeating the purpose. But, she would get used to her own space after a while of being confined in it.

If Sammie has never caught up to KittyKat and actually fought with her, then odds are it is not likely that he got to her this time. If she can, and has, outrun him, then until she gets too old to be able to do so, she will continue to get away from him. I doubt he would try to kill her, but it could end up in a fight if he could catch her.

 

[sweetlilac]

Okay, what a relief. I saw Sammie just recently and no signs of a fight. Would you be willing to send me an example or a page where I could view some catios? Much appreciated. I think she still has quite a bit of the old fight left in her, even if she is as sweet as a kitten with me. I wouldn't mess with her! She is lean and mean when she needs to, my guess! But, Sammie's a big'un... I know first hand - I mean leg, his bite is pretty serious. PS does she go in and out of the catio? Not stay there all the time? Or would she?

 

[FeebysOwner]

The link below has several links within it so you have a lot of information and ideas/examples to look at. The intent of a catio is to allow a cat to have outdoor space, but to confine them in that area so that they are protected from traffic, animals, etc. In the case of a cat such as KittyKat, the bigger the better.

Catios: Everything You Need To Know - Catio World

 

[sweetlilac]

Thanks. Wouldn't a ten year old feral who's never even been inside a building be miserable inside a catio? Seems like it might feel like a prison. (No offense to catio owners. but I am having a hard time imagining my free spirit KittyKat enjoying a catio... I'd rather put Sammie in one! At least he has lived indoors.

 

[FeebysOwner]

It is hard to tell whether or not she would eventually accept it. But, KittyKat is not truly feral, or she wouldn't let you touch her and she would run from you. Isn't she on your property most of the time anyway - other than being chased off my Sammie nowadays? You can't put Sammie in a catio, he is not yours and belongs to someone else - at least for now.

 

[jefferd18]

You could also try the old standby of clapping your hands and shouting NO every time he starts to get aggressive with her. That has worked for me when I feed my feral colony and one of the older ones goes after one of the kittens. Please don't use a hose on him. Right now he is getting mixed messages from you because you feed him and then you use a water hose on him.

 

[Jcatbird]

Sami is being confused. He knows you love him and running into your house means he wants to be around you. The catio is a great solution for Kittykat! I doubt she would object but rather appreciate having a secure outdoor space. It is the safest solution for her being that you cannot bring her inside. I am wondering if that cat shelter that Kittykat won’t use could become a shelter for Dammi after Kittykat has a cation? It’s a place he could be fed and sheltered without you appearing to take him from the owners? Then both cats would be much safer and all battles ended. Sammie probably bit because he was desperately seeking your love and attention. If he prefers to be an inside cat and his owners forget and leave him out, then he may have thought you would rescue him. No hose ever! Clapping your hands should be enough but if you were giving him attention before, resuming that attention should make him feel secure. Using a piece of cardboard to separate cats or a cat from you is a good solution. You just block them off without using your hands.
As for the neighbor, I would try a face to face conversation and begin by saying, you did not report them or ask for quarantine on the kitty and would not do anything to cause them a problem for the kitty. Since you had to go to get medicine for the bite the doctors or Urgent Care must have reported it and just tell them you had to tell the doctor b Tell them you would like a fresh start and that you think you both just got started out on the wrong foot. Ask if they would be open to starting fresh. A simple card or something to indicate you really do want to be great neighbors for each other could carry more weight if given to them while you ask for a fresh start. You did say they are expecting a baby. Most new parents are all about the baby. A cute pair of baby socks or something tucked into the card might be sweet. I don’t know if this will work but it certainly can’t hurt. It could go a long way towards a better future for you all but especially for Sammi.

 

[sweetlilac]

You could also try the old standby of clapping your hands and shouting NO every time he starts to get aggressive with her. That has worked for me when I feed my feral colony and one of the older ones goes after one of the kittens. Please don't use a hose on him. Right now he is getting mixed messages from you because you feed him and then you use a water hose on him.

Yes... so true. I hate that. I love both cats. I have turned the water on near him but not on him and also shouted NO when he gets near her, but he stays out all night. So I can't be there always. Sometimes the owner lets him in at night, sometimes not. I am giving myself mixed messages.

Is it odd to think that Sammie can read my mind? It's creepy but I get the feeling he has some kind of ESP or something. KittyKat is simple, sweet, gentle. Sammie seems like a wizard cat or something. He also speaks English (and according to my husband, who is studying Spanish for fun, Spanish!) He does seem to respond very well to requests. Except the one to leave KittyKat alone.

 

[sweetlilac]

Sami is being confused. He knows you love him and running into your house means he wants to be around you. The catio is a great solution for Kittykat! I doubt she would object but rather appreciate having a secure outdoor space. It is the safest solution for her being that you cannot bring her inside. I am wondering if that cat shelter that Kittykat won’t use could become a shelter for Dammi after Kittykat has a cation? It’s a place he could be fed and sheltered without you appearing to take him from the owners? Then both cats would be much safer and all battles ended. Sammie probably bit because he was desperately seeking your love and attention. If he prefers to be an inside cat and his owners forget and leave him out, then he may have thought you would rescue him. No hose ever! Clapping your hands should be enough but if you were giving him attention before, resuming that attention should make him feel secure. Using a piece of cardboard to separate cats or a cat from you is a good solution. You just block them off without using your hands.
As for the neighbor, I would try a face to face conversation and begin by saying, you did not report them or ask for quarantine on the kitty and would not do anything to cause them a problem for the kitty. Since you had to go to get medicine for the bite the doctors or Urgent Care must have reported it and just tell them you had to tell the doctor b Tell them you would like a fresh start and that you think you both just got started out on the wrong foot. Ask if they would be open to starting fresh. A simple card or something to indicate you really do want to be great neighbors for each other could carry more weight if given to them while you ask for a fresh start. You did say they are expecting a baby. Most new parents are all about the baby. A cute pair of baby socks or something tucked into the card might be sweet. I don’t know if this will work but it certainly can’t hurt. It could go a long way towards a better future for you all but especially for Sammi.

I will check the catios out. I think KittyKat is starting to go a little coo-coo.

As for the neighbor, I have been very polite and we did tell her that. She was very frosty when we last contacted her, and seemed mad about the quarantine. Truth is, we could have filed a complaint but didn't. We had no idea about what the urgent care and city did. We told her that. One day later, today, she texted and asked how I was doing and seemed empathic and caring.

Crazy making right? Not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones, or maybe the boyfriend left the house, or what. This is her pattern. We will continue to be polite but I am human too. I am starting to go a bit coo-cco. Thanks everyone for being here with me.

As for the cardboard, how would that work? Just block the view around her "area" so he can't look at her menacingly? Sadly he can jump on the table and stare down, or up. It would have to be a tall piece of cardboard. How would KittyKat get in and out?

Does petting Sammie make things worse? I still want to give him some attention, I feel so sad and he is so lost. I just feel that I am making it worse for KittyKat every time I pet him. PS He is always starving and hoovers up food like a raccoon practically! (It's kinda cute.. but that's what doting does.)

 

[FeebysOwner]

Sammie lacks the attention he desires at home, so it is natural for him to come to you to get the attention he isn't getting there, since you give it to him - therefore making it seem like he understands detailed language. What he understands is compassion and caring (hence you thinking he can read your mind - he can't) and he finds that at your home. That doesn't mean he is going to understand your desire for him to leave KittyKat alone. Those two things are totally different matters to him.

 

[Jcatbird]

I understand that he needs food. Feed him AWAY from Kittykat. The cardboard is something that I meant for you to keep handy in case you need to separate Sammi from you or the other cat. Just a big sturdy piece that is kept nearby so you can grab it if he goes after her. You simply place it between them to stop the tussle long enough for her to leave the immediate area. You could try putting a tarp to block his view over the place she likes to stay but if she can access it, he can too. That’s the safety advantage of a catio for her.
Don’t give up on making peace. Hormones could well be playing a part here. You know, after the baby comes, they might be happy for you to help out with Sammi. If you build a bridge of peace now, it could work out great later. I am not ignoring the fact that you are human, suffered and are only trying to do the right thing. Plus, biting your tongue! I have had to bite my tongue so many times over the past couple of years, it’s a wonder I can still talk. Lol I want you to know though, it almost always was something that I was glad that I did. It can pay off! Just keep doing your best. Going coo-coo might relieve your pent up frustration but in the end it won’t solve the problems. If you need to yell, scream or vent frustrations, come here where people will understand and empathize completely. Hang in there!

 

[sweetlilac]

Thank you, Feeby's mom. My husband is now adamant that I do not feed Sammie but I feel like Sammie is here to stay. It seems "to me" anyway that sometimes I give Sammie something (food, attention) etc and then he is happy and leaves. I do feed him away from KittyKat.

I guess no one is happy with what is going on! Today Sammie was lingering every which way and I called him over, (he speaks English, remarkably), pet him for a while, he was in heaven, and then left altogether. My hubby ran out and begged me not to feed him. I just don't think that is the dynamic, I think Sammie is very, idk, intuitive, he's special somehow, I can't describe... he got some sweet love and was good. Then he happily left.

The one time he bit me was on LadyX's orders not to do so, and after he had been out all night. He was probably feeling so let down that I betrayed him. I don't want to hurt him any more. He is an angel in fur. Just like KittyKat. It's so weird. Both are such darlings, though I guess everyone on this board has one or more, maybe many angel fur babies in their lives.

So... I like the cardboard Idea, and possibly calling him away. No more hose! (I didn't get him wet, just hose noise). Your thoughts on feeding? Anyone? Feeby's Mom? I don't think it can do any more damage than the permanent situation I seem to be living through! He seems more likely to leave when fed, and/or pet, and return. He will also return when not feed, or pet, and then, not leave. This Sammie has some intersting strategies!

I have steadily tried building a bridge of peace. Did I mention I got my first emphatic (brief) text letter today from her? I don't even know how to respond, she flips both ways it seems. So I am a little nervous. I will though. With kindness. I am in total agreement, steady as she goes. Bridge of peace. Yes!

PS Is 24 weeks too early to send a baby gift? Would it look manipulative? After all, her cat just bit me. I think she must have researched and found out I had nothing to do with the quarantine (and fine, apparently.) And that hey: I was actually wounded. New realization. Anyway, I do let things go... just my nature. I try to move on and build bridges.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Feed Sammie if you want to feed him, since you have been doing so all along. Just be willing to deal with any issues that come up with your husband or your neighbor - it's as simple as that.

I would not buy a baby gift until the baby is born. First off, you don't want to 'give' her any other reason for her to be upset with you if something should happen to her pregnancy or at birth. Secondly, if you wait, you can find out the gender and make the gift more specific if you choose to do so.

Just my opinion.

 

[sweetlilac]

Thank you Feebys Mom and so many other loving cat mommies who have nurtured ME through this. I just want to say, when I joined this board, or at some point, KittyKat didn't even have a name, really, and wasn't even "talking" or relating to me except to ask for food.

Sibs gone, and today, she is swaddled in love and attention, pampered and doted over like a little Princess. She is so happy and I credit this board and all the caring responses for helping me through so much. And she is the nicest, kindest, sweetest being I could have dreamed of, beyond that "feral fear of humans". Who knew? She is a different cat now and I am guessing she's at least 10 y.o. so living proof that ferals can do a 180 and show their loving side.

I do think feeding and petting Sammie does more good than harm, though apparently it's only me at this point and what I have observed. But... since this is mostly me, and I have everyone's best interest at heart, I am so happy to hear someone else give some confirmeation. I've gotten such good feedback, reality checks, (like no more hoses ever, no Humane Society etc...) and the saga is still ongoing but I feel stronger for coping with things.

I hope one day I will be able to say as much for Sammie, that he is happy, centered, loved, pampered, leaves KittyKat to her space ... and still has HIS mommy too. I am okay with a part time gig. After all... Sammie does speak several languages so I'll keep talking to him. I am willing to be patient and I think love will conquer all, even instinct... at least I hope.

With gratitude... and best wishes for all your furry loved ones...

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m so glad that things have settled in your life and for the kitties. I do agree that if the neighbor is only 23 weeks along, it’s too early for a baby gift. As a Mom to be, she is probably under some measure of stress. Just thank her when you see her for the kind text and keep things as pleasant as possible. If you can form a happy friendship, even better. Later you can do something neighborly and nice for the baby. Most people have a baby shower at some point so maybe a card or recognition in some way at that point would be a generous thing to do. Sending happy purrs to all there!!