- Joined
- Jul 11, 2019
- Messages
- 24
- Purraise
- 38
Hi everyone. It has been another long day. I made an older post about my cat’s behaviour problem, where she has been peeing and pooping both inside and outside of the box, at random, at any part of the home, at any hour of the day or night, ever since we got her, 5 years ago as a kitten. On and off, always. She is healthy, has had several intense full-on check ups, tests, swab culture analyses - I can’t even list it all. It’s been years of this. She is a super happy cat, physically fit, friendly, sweet, fully vaccinated, spayed, playful, and happily follows us around. Basically, she is a perfect cat besides her severe elimination problem. It is an extremely overwhelming and frustrating struggle to constantly be scrubbing away, and always in fear of a guest stepping in her poop/pee, or to bolt awake at 4am to any scratching sound out of panic that she’s about to relieve herself somewhere random again. I have spent countless nights over the years stressing over this, sometimes crying, especially when she has peed in my room just before I go out or something. It has taken over my life and even though I originally adopted her to help with my depression (and of course for my love of cats), she has ended up putting me in those depressive states herself.
I have tried it all, honestly, except the probiotic suggestion which I will be trying soon, though doubt it will help her as she doesn’t have digestive issues. So other than that possibility of success, I have come to the conclusion that this is just the way my cat is. While I love her, I have been losing my mind, on top of already not having very good mental health to begin with. I cannot do this. I tried for years and unfortunately this happens to be the lowest point in my life to where I even almost accidentally lost my life. I cannot keep up with this anymore. I have subconsciously began to associate my cat with resentment. In the past, I was way too selfish to rehome her because I believed that nobody else would be able to take care of her like I do. However, as mentioned, I have been losing my mind. At the same time, I can never abandon her in the wilderness or put her to sleep. She deserves a good life for sure.
I researched a lot and finally ended up finding a small town (10k population) some 6 hours away which has a giant no-kill, volunteer-run cat center&farm-field feel (no horses or anything like that, just the kitties and the big indoor facility and outdoor area) with endless fundraisers, support, donations, community/town events to support them, a thriving facebook page, and even a program for pets with elimination issues that if it is unmanageable they will help that animal become a barn cat or indoor-outdoor pet so they don’t end up abandoned or killed by some other owner if they get adopted. The owner would also know what history the animal has, unlike me with the brand new kitten at the time. The place also posts a lot of updates on their FB page so you can always see how the cats are doing. They get to roam, as well as have the indoor facility of course. They remain there until they pass, or until they are adopted. I had a conversation over the phone with the organization with many questions, and they were really strong in their belief of never euthanizing an animal unless it is suffering from a disease which harms its quality of life for example. They also have a high adoption rate in the town - I can see the adoptions on their FB page with the adopters’ comments. The tight-knit town gives me a good feeling, to be honest.
I am NOT thrilled or anything about rehoming, but I do believe she would be genuinely loved there with no resentment, and receive a lot of patience from their program. I have decided to sponsor her there as well if I go through with surrendering her.
I have never been in this situation before, and I am sure it will hurt like hell if I do this. However, I have also been hurting like hell over this for years, but especially this year with every other obstacle I am facing, and I need to make sure my mind gets to a good place too. In addition, my mom has anger issues and there is always screaming in the house every other day. I just believe that in the end, this will be the right decision for both kitty and I, if I choose it. I know the situation is totally not comparable, but I can’t help but to be reminded of when my mom was depressed and ill enough that I had to be taken away to live at a foster home as a kid for a long time. Yeah, it was not easy, but in the end, it was the right thing to do. Or at least, it was the better option for the both of us.
However, I would like to hear some opinions. After all, I have not done something like this ever before. Any more questions I should ask the organization? If my cat doesn’t get better, the only conclusion I see at this point in time, is either her being at the shelter, or, me spiralling further into an even deeper state of stress. I want to spend the rest of the summer really thinking about this. Any thoughts? And yeah, I feel terrible. Have been for years. This is a very difficult time and a breaking point for me.
I have tried it all, honestly, except the probiotic suggestion which I will be trying soon, though doubt it will help her as she doesn’t have digestive issues. So other than that possibility of success, I have come to the conclusion that this is just the way my cat is. While I love her, I have been losing my mind, on top of already not having very good mental health to begin with. I cannot do this. I tried for years and unfortunately this happens to be the lowest point in my life to where I even almost accidentally lost my life. I cannot keep up with this anymore. I have subconsciously began to associate my cat with resentment. In the past, I was way too selfish to rehome her because I believed that nobody else would be able to take care of her like I do. However, as mentioned, I have been losing my mind. At the same time, I can never abandon her in the wilderness or put her to sleep. She deserves a good life for sure.
I researched a lot and finally ended up finding a small town (10k population) some 6 hours away which has a giant no-kill, volunteer-run cat center&farm-field feel (no horses or anything like that, just the kitties and the big indoor facility and outdoor area) with endless fundraisers, support, donations, community/town events to support them, a thriving facebook page, and even a program for pets with elimination issues that if it is unmanageable they will help that animal become a barn cat or indoor-outdoor pet so they don’t end up abandoned or killed by some other owner if they get adopted. The owner would also know what history the animal has, unlike me with the brand new kitten at the time. The place also posts a lot of updates on their FB page so you can always see how the cats are doing. They get to roam, as well as have the indoor facility of course. They remain there until they pass, or until they are adopted. I had a conversation over the phone with the organization with many questions, and they were really strong in their belief of never euthanizing an animal unless it is suffering from a disease which harms its quality of life for example. They also have a high adoption rate in the town - I can see the adoptions on their FB page with the adopters’ comments. The tight-knit town gives me a good feeling, to be honest.
I am NOT thrilled or anything about rehoming, but I do believe she would be genuinely loved there with no resentment, and receive a lot of patience from their program. I have decided to sponsor her there as well if I go through with surrendering her.
I have never been in this situation before, and I am sure it will hurt like hell if I do this. However, I have also been hurting like hell over this for years, but especially this year with every other obstacle I am facing, and I need to make sure my mind gets to a good place too. In addition, my mom has anger issues and there is always screaming in the house every other day. I just believe that in the end, this will be the right decision for both kitty and I, if I choose it. I know the situation is totally not comparable, but I can’t help but to be reminded of when my mom was depressed and ill enough that I had to be taken away to live at a foster home as a kid for a long time. Yeah, it was not easy, but in the end, it was the right thing to do. Or at least, it was the better option for the both of us.
However, I would like to hear some opinions. After all, I have not done something like this ever before. Any more questions I should ask the organization? If my cat doesn’t get better, the only conclusion I see at this point in time, is either her being at the shelter, or, me spiralling further into an even deeper state of stress. I want to spend the rest of the summer really thinking about this. Any thoughts? And yeah, I feel terrible. Have been for years. This is a very difficult time and a breaking point for me.