Very aggressive Calico cannot trust with new puppy or any visiting guest, expecting new grandbaby in April

K Hope

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Hi guys, not sure what i need to do. We adopted a cat 5 year ago. We were told she had a rough beginning and most likely was separated from mama too young. She is a cute calico. We had our family dog , Roxy , then 7. I had to sign a agreement saying we would not declaw Missy since we had the GS dog. The cat and dog were introduced slowly. The cat lived mainly upstairs and the dog did not go upstairs so it worked. But within months the cat became very abusive with the dog. Would attack her and scratch her. Later the cat would bite and scratch me. She would get a little crazy with my daughter too. Has never had anything to do with husband who is a animal lover. Attacks my 3 grandsons and they are terrified of her. I cannot have guest over. Most of the time she is sweet to me and daughter but that is it. And we are careful with her cause she can attack for no reason.
Then when we went on vacay I had a friend who dog sat for us come to the house to feed the cat and she would stalk and try to scratch my friend. So pretty much been our life since. We moved 3 years-ago to a new house and my mom was helping us move. My mom walked past the cat who was sitting on back of sofa, the cat for no reason bit and scratched my mom horribly . 2 days later my mom was in ervwith cat scratch fever, was very ill. We were made by city to quarantine cat for 10days. This was a $700 bill and stressful for us all. Once settled in new house I thought things could possibly calm down. But cat continued to draw blood on the poor shepherd for no reason at all and stalk and try to bite any and all visitors. So we always put her in my daughters room. But after a while she starts screaming and scratching at door to get out. Since we have been here she has bit and scratched anD me for no reason. Sitting in my lap and rubbing her head then went ballistic. I cannot give her away because I feel like not one person would put up with her. Last Jan our German Shepherd got sick and we had to have put down. Has been a extremely hard year, we loved that dog so much. So this past weekend we were visiting my dad and a puppy who someone dropped off at his land came out and my 17 year old fell in love. Very sweet good boy. Yes she talked me into bringing him home. He was malnutrition and has hook worms and possibly heart worms. We are working on getting him healthy. Family has fallen in love with this little mutt. My problem is the cat will destroy this dog. She has gotten him 3 times already drew blood. We have up gates separate them but life cannot continue like it has in the past. We are having a grandbaby in April and I am already stressed because the cat can never be trusted and could put a puppy eye and baby eye out. After the last time she scratched and bit me I almost had her euthanized. It was horrible and very painful. I love this cat and it breaks my heart so bad. But she could never live with another family and could not put as a barn cat. She is physco and not trust worthy. Vet seems to think she is brain damaged due to most likely being separated from mama way to early. I hate that my poor sweet German Shepherd had to put up with the abusive cat not sure how me or this new puppy will survive. Crying alot and have for 5 years. My motherly instincts says there is nothing I can do. I CANNOT SEND HER TO A FARM, SHE IS A SPOILED HOUSE KITTY. It would seem so cruel, SHE would not understand. We get our pets with the better or worst sickness in health we will love them. But this kitty is causing so much fear and anxiety in my home. She scratches my family everytime we have get togethers. My daughter inlaw is highly allergic and swells up instantly. : ((
 

calicosrspecial

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I am so sorry to hear this.

It sounds like she is very fearful. I would work on building her confidence. So I would step up play. Really good play sessions at least twice a day. Starting in areas she is comfortable with and gradually expanding where to play with her. After play feed treats or a meal. This helps build confidence and territorial security as it replicates the survival instinct in the wild - Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat. Also, get as many cat trees, scratching posts, warm and comfy bedding so the cat can "own" more things and feel more territorially secure. Also, if you own your own house think about adding Cat shelving so the cat can avoid the dog, go above the dog, feel safer, avoid confrontation. Avoid people. Giving multiple escape routes. Cats can feel threatened when cornered or not having multiple escape routes. Height gives confidence and more ownership and territorial security and confidence. Finally, keep feeding good food, treats. Give eye kisses to show you trust her. Talk calm, confidently and lovingly to her. Don't force attention, let her ask for attention. Don't stand over her, stare at her, walk around her calmly and confidently at a normal pace. Keep to a routine so she play at the same time, eats at the same time. If possible give her a "safe space" so she can escape from the dog (use gates possibly). Cats take on our emotions so it is really important to try to stay calm and confident. The more anxious a human is the more anxious and :eek:n guard" the cat will be. I deal with ferals in the wild all the time and see how much emotions impact the actions of the cat. I see people tense up with fear which makes the cat get more defensive and bad things tend to happen more. If I act calm and cool and normal the cat gets more relaxed and trusting.

I will help you as much as possible. If we can build the cat's confidence through (Play, Food, Height and Love) as mentioned above, build the territorial security we will increase the trust of the cat and a confident cat is less likely to attack or be attacked.

Cat shelving could be really helpful as it could give her an option to feel more confident and avoid confrontation and feel safer. They can look really nice and give a huge benefit. I highly recommend these.

Please let me know if you have any questions and hopefully others add to what I may have missed. I know how emotionally hard this is but if we do the above I think she should find success.
 
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K Hope

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Thank you for your reply. She has safe places. Our German Shepherd never went upstairs and we have a upstairs here as well. The cat want stop be with me. We have baby gates but the cat is stalking the dog. Of course the puppy does not understand. I have always used treats for reinforcement and bought new ones yesterday for her and the puppy. We have a playpen for puppy but unfortunately he can jump that. But why does the cat over the last 5 years bite and scratch me. It is vicious. Sometimes she gets in my lap and after a half hour I need to get up and she will not get off me. She kinda growls and I do not dare push her off she would go cray on me. My excuse for her has always been we have no idea what horrible little life she had in beginning. If the dog is outside or in his crate she stands in front of it and just stares at him. And then she will jump on window or crate door with aggression. I am really worried she is gonna hurt him or us really bad. I bought the plug in pheromone for multiy cat homes not sure it will work on her aggressive self.
 
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K Hope

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I will say the cat, missy, does go to top of stairs and looks down at the world. We also have a cat tree with scratching post, SHE never uses post but will perch and sleep on it. It's in the guest room dog not ever in there.
 

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"She has safe places." - Great. Make sure it is filled with things she can get her scent on and "own". So cat tree, scratching post, warm and comfy bedding. Some where she can feel like she really owns and feels confident.

Cats are territorial so anytime an "intruder" comes into "their" territory they are worried about their physical safety, their access to life surviving food and water. We need to teach the cat that the new "intruder" is not a threat. So we try to use something positive near the "intruder". So feed treats or use a wand toy to get the cat to play and then feed after play. If we can get the cat to enjoy something good then we make a positive association. And while doing that we want the "intruder" to not make any threatening moves towards the cat etc.

How does your cat walk around? Tall, tail up? Or low to the ground, tail down?

Does she avoid areas?

Is she more aggressive in certain areas of the house?

Do you have ferals outside in your yard? We usually do but we may not know it.

Does she use her litter box at all times?

"But why does the cat over the last 5 years bite and scratch me. It is vicious." - I need to understand exactly what happens before these incidents of scratching, biting. It could be re-directed aggression. It could be over stimulation. So any examples of what you are doing (or who is around) before these incidents could be helpful.

Here is a link that may be helpful : Why Do Cats Attack? – Cat Articles

"Sometimes she gets in my lap and after a half hour I need to get up and she will not get off me. She kinda growls and I do not dare push her off she would go cray on me."- Cats don't like getting up. It is warm, they are comfortable. The fact she does go on you tells me there is trust and love in her. What are your emotions when she growls? Are you scared? I have feral cats growl at my all the time in the wild. I hold my ground, I stay calm. I don't push them but I let them know it is unacceptable. Now of course they are not on me. Can you use a treat or a toy to coax her off your lap? How does she eventually get off of you?

"I bought the plug in pheromone for multiy cat homes not sure it will work on her aggressive self." - This is worth a try but I am not personally a big believer in these. I am a big believer in all the things in my previous post. Building confidence and trust using Play, Food, Height and Love - the detail is in my first post.

"I will say the cat, missy, does go to top of stairs and looks down at the world. We also have a cat tree with scratching post, SHE never uses post but will perch and sleep on it. It's in the guest room dog not ever in there." - Ok, good. It is great that she likes to go on the cat tree. I really think cat shelving (if you can do it) would be helpful for her. This would give her a chance to "observe" the puppy, people safely from above (which gives confidence) AND to give her an escape route if she feels threatened. Cats typically choose to flee rather than fight if given the option.

I can tell you are scared and anxious about what may happen to the people or the puppy. Cats take on our emotions so it is really important to try to stay, calm, confident and positive around her. That could help her feel more safe, secure and confident.

How often do you play with her? Play is one of the biggest tools we can use to help a cat behave better.

The fact she does sit on you and gets along with you and your daughter gives me hope we can improve this situation. The fact you are not giving up on her is a big positive as well and I admire you for sticking by her. It takes knowledge and effort to make situations like these better. We have the knowledge and with your effort I think we can help improve this situation and not only save Missy's life but make you and your family's life better.

Here are a few articles which may be helpful

Why Do Cats Attack? – Cat Articles

How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog – Cat Articles

Thank you for caring about Missy. I will do everything can to help you all.
 
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K Hope

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She does not avoid any areas and tends to stalk the puppy. We will start playing more games with her and rewarding her. I have a very open concept home so not alot of wall space but will try a wall shelving retreat for her. Yes she gets in my lap in the mornings and the evenings. When she bit me twice I think I must have over stimulated her I was gently rubbing her head and ears. She comes to my room every morning, when she hears my alarm and pats my face to get up, it's time to eat. Our daily routine. The puppy has kinda messed this up but we are trying. She sleeps with my daughter most nights. Puppy sleeps in a crate in living room. Yes I am scared and anxious and had a crying meltdown this am while she was in my lap. Of course when she does not want to get off my lap sometimes she stands up and puts her feet on my chest. I have called my daughter sometimes to come get her, she acts like she is going to bite me. I really appreciate your help. My daughter ask if you could come live with us!! Lol. I occasionally let the cat outback to explore, SHE has never tried to jump the fence and brings me gifts from the flower bed, baby snakes, tiny mouse, dragon flies and grasshoppers!! 3 months ago she got sprayed by a skunk in our yard. We have since put timber and large rock around base of fence to keep those out of yard!! Thank you for all your advice we need it all
 
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Her tail is normal unless she gets excited with the dog and it triples in size. Or if she is in a crouch position and acts like she wants to pounce him . I have been giving her treats when she calmly smells around his pen or crate and her tail stays small I tell she is a good girl.
 

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If it were me and this situation was going on, I’d try to call that guy from “my cat from hell”. It sounds like (to me)you’ve done a good job troubleshooting. Do you know if she was fostered by a person who knows how to socialize a kitten? Our kitten Lucca was found at about a week old and didn’t have a momma cat but the foster home did a great job because he’s wonderful. Anyway, I hope you’re able to work this out and there’s resolve to this very distressing situation. 🙏🏻
 

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Time to try medication. Go to your vet, and explain that you are out of options, and he should give either prozac or valium.

It sounds to me like absent medication, you need to try and find a no kill shelter that will take the cat. It is possible. Difficult cats can find homes with people that like rehabilitation projects. But you have tried, and failed. I don't think it is reasonable to expect that you are going to be able to fix this by playing more games or anything like that.

Good luck, good chance the medication should help. Meds have really helped a lot of people with cats with serious problems on the forum. But if it fails, I think you need to be realistic that this is a situation that cannot continue.
 

calicosrspecial

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"She does not avoid any areas and tends to stalk the puppy." - GREAT that she doesn't avoid areas. That helps understand her territorial security. Stalking will happen ESPECIALLY if the puppy acts like "prey". So runs away, acts insecure, etc. If you se the stalking pull out a toy or a treat or something positive to distract her away from the dog. We want to make sure that she doesn't see the puppy as a threat or as prey or anything negative.

"We will start playing more games with her and rewarding her." - Play is VERY important. This builds confidence and territorial security. Feed treats or a meal after play.

"I have a very open concept home so not alot of wall space but will try a wall shelving retreat for her." - Wall shelving could be very helpful. As could tables or anything that would allow a cat to move around off the ground. Try to think creatively. BUT we don't want to create "dead ends" or narrow spaces. Open is good as it allows for escape routes.

"Yes she gets in my lap in the mornings and the evenings. " - It sounds like you have a very good relationship with her which is a great starting point and can be expanded to others. It shows she is capable of trusting and loving. That is a base we can build off of.

"When she bit me twice I think I must have over stimulated her I was gently rubbing her head and ears." - She only bite you twice? How were the bites? Did they break the skin? If so, did they become infected? Yes, it is possible she got overstimulated. So we have to learn the signs of overstimulation so we don;t create a situation like that again. Cats have different levels of stimulation. Also, some cats do not like to have a hand above them or coming from above them. So approaching from a different way may help. And the way we move and our emotions matter. So if we are moving differently it can cause a cat to feel concerned. If we move more slowly or more quickly a cat can sense something is different. If we feel anxious they will get anxious and more on edge. A cat is looking to survive so changes can cause them concerns in their safety. Some more than others obviously. So it is really important to stay as calm and confident as possible. I deal with ferals all the time and I see how emotions really impact a cat. So this is really important. Soothing calm, confident and loving words can be very helpful to de-escalate a situation.

"She comes to my room every morning, when she hears my alarm and pats my face to get up, it's time to eat. Our daily routine." - That is adorable. She sounds restrained, in control. Does not sound like a "psycho" cat at all. If she can trust and not attack one person she can others.

"The puppy has kinda messed this up but we are trying. She sleeps with my daughter most nights. Puppy sleeps in a crate in living room." - You are trying, that is the important part. It is good she sleep with your daughter.

"Yes I am scared and anxious and had a crying meltdown this am while she was in my lap." - I know. It is hard. But we are going to handle this. She will take on those emotions and it will escalate her anxiety and bad behavior since something is different. I know it is easier said than done to be "calm and confident" but I want you to just take a step back. We are going to take things one step at a time and improve it. I KNOW you love her, I can tell. And that is going to be VERY helpful.

How did she act when you had a crying meltdown with her on your lap?

"Of course when she does not want to get off my lap sometimes she stands up and puts her feet on my chest." - Mine do this as well. Now, I have no fear of my cats so I tend to just talk to them and "shoo" them off. Some DO NOT want to get off at times and I have to tilt etc to get them to finally move. But again, I have no fear of mine.

"I have called my daughter sometimes to come get her, she acts like she is going to bite me."- Do you have to yell for your daughter? How does your daughter get her off you? What does Missy do after she does get off? Make sure you reassure her with calm, confident and loving talk to her and maybe give her something good or play a bit with her. We want to make it a positive experience.

Hahahaha, I am a terrible houseguest. :)

"I occasionally let the cat outback to explore" - This oftentimes can cause issues for a cat since the outside can be dangerous and is "owned" by many other animals. Do you notice an uptick in her bad behavior after she goes out?

"SHE has never tried to jump the fence and brings me gifts from the flower bed, baby snakes, tiny mouse, dragon flies and grasshoppers!! " - That tells me she loves you. Bringing gifts. Again, a positive sign from her towards at least you.

"3 months ago she got sprayed by a skunk in our yard. We have since put timber and large rock around base of fence to keep those out of yard!! " - WOW, that is highly traumatic. Did you notice an uptick in her bad behavior after that? I am so glad you defended your backyard more so that may not happen again.

"Her tail is normal unless she gets excited with the dog and it triples in size." - Good that her tail is normal a lot of the time. Yes, if she is frightened her tail will get big. Which suggests she does not trust the dog. We need to make a positive association with the dog (like you giving treats near the crate as you mentioned) and also use a toy or food or something positive to distract her away from the puppy.

"Or if she is in a crouch position and acts like she wants to pounce him ." - Do you get a sense it is hunting or could it be somewhat playful? How are her ears? Her eyes (dilated?)? Is her hair up? Do you think you could distract her with a treat or a toy to get her not focused on the puppy? If she looks away that would be a great sign. Because cats wouldn't take their eyes away from a potential threat.

"I have been giving her treats when she calmly smells around his pen or crate and her tail stays small I tell she is a good girl." - EXCELLENT!!! GOOD JOB!!!

You are very welcome.

ArtNJ brings up medications. We may have to try that route given the high stakes.

Also, if you can take any videos that can be very helpful so we can see the exact behavior and interpret it.

I also would like to understand the encounters between Missy and the other family members. It sounds like you and Missy have a very good relationship and I would like to understand the relationship between Missy and the others. Does anyone else feed her? Cats respond to food so building trust and a relationship with food is very important (I do it with ferals all the time).

And I can't stress enough now important play is.

You are very welcome. Please feel free to mention anything and ask any questions. We have some work to do but I am optimistic we can improve this situation.
 
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K Hope

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Not sure if cat was fostered and socialized. When she was first found she was very sick.
 
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Not sure if cat was fostered and socialized. When she was first found she was very sick.
"She does not avoid any areas and tends to stalk the puppy." - GREAT that she doesn't avoid areas. That helps understand her territorial security. Stalking will happen ESPECIALLY if the puppy acts like "prey". So runs away, acts insecure, etc. If you se the stalking pull out a toy or a treat or something positive to distract her away from the dog. We want to make sure that she doesn't see the puppy as a threat or as prey or anything negative.

"We will start playing more games with her and rewarding her." - Play is VERY important. This builds confidence and territorial security. Feed treats or a meal after play.

"I have a very open concept home so not alot of wall space but will try a wall shelving retreat for her." - Wall shelving could be very helpful. As could tables or anything that would allow a cat to move around off the ground. Try to think creatively. BUT we don't want to create "dead ends" or narrow spaces. Open is good as it allows for escape routes.

"Yes she gets in my lap in the mornings and the evenings. " - It sounds like you have a very good relationship with her which is a great starting point and can be expanded to others. It shows she is capable of trusting and loving. That is a base we can build off of.

"When she bit me twice I think I must have over stimulated her I was gently rubbing her head and ears." - She only bite you twice? How were the bites? Did they break the skin? If so, did they become infected? Yes, it is possible she got overstimulated. So we have to learn the signs of overstimulation so we don;t create a situation like that again. Cats have different levels of stimulation. Also, some cats do not like to have a hand above them or coming from above them. So approaching from a different way may help. And the way we move and our emotions matter. So if we are moving differently it can cause a cat to feel concerned. If we move more slowly or more quickly a cat can sense something is different. If we feel anxious they will get anxious and more on edge. A cat is looking to survive so changes can cause them concerns in their safety. Some more than others obviously. So it is really important to stay as calm and confident as possible. I deal with ferals all the time and I see how emotions really impact a cat. So this is really important. Soothing calm, confident and loving words can be very helpful to de-escalate a situation.

"She comes to my room every morning, when she hears my alarm and pats my face to get up, it's time to eat. Our daily routine." - That is adorable. She sounds restrained, in control. Does not sound like a "psycho" cat at all. If she can trust and not attack one person she can others.

"The puppy has kinda messed this up but we are trying. She sleeps with my daughter most nights. Puppy sleeps in a crate in living room." - You are trying, that is the important part. It is good she sleep with your daughter.

"Yes I am scared and anxious and had a crying meltdown this am while she was in my lap." - I know. It is hard. But we are going to handle this. She will take on those emotions and it will escalate her anxiety and bad behavior since something is different. I know it is easier said than done to be "calm and confident" but I want you to just take a step back. We are going to take things one step at a time and improve it. I KNOW you love her, I can tell. And that is going to be VERY helpful.

How did she act when you had a crying meltdown with her on your lap?

"Of course when she does not want to get off my lap sometimes she stands up and puts her feet on my chest." - Mine do this as well. Now, I have no fear of my cats so I tend to just talk to them and "shoo" them off. Some DO NOT want to get off at times and I have to tilt etc to get them to finally move. But again, I have no fear of mine.

"I have called my daughter sometimes to come get her, she acts like she is going to bite me."- Do you have to yell for your daughter? How does your daughter get her off you? What does Missy do after she does get off? Make sure you reassure her with calm, confident and loving talk to her and maybe give her something good or play a bit with her. We want to make it a positive experience.

Hahahaha, I am a terrible houseguest. :)

"I occasionally let the cat outback to explore" - This oftentimes can cause issues for a cat since the outside can be dangerous and is "owned" by many other animals. Do you notice an uptick in her bad behavior after she goes out?

"SHE has never tried to jump the fence and brings me gifts from the flower bed, baby snakes, tiny mouse, dragon flies and grasshoppers!! " - That tells me she loves you. Bringing gifts. Again, a positive sign from her towards at least you.

"3 months ago she got sprayed by a skunk in our yard. We have since put timber and large rock around base of fence to keep those out of yard!! " - WOW, that is highly traumatic. Did you notice an uptick in her bad behavior after that? I am so glad you defended your backyard more so that may not happen again.

"Her tail is normal unless she gets excited with the dog and it triples in size." - Good that her tail is normal a lot of the time. Yes, if she is frightened her tail will get big. Which suggests she does not trust the dog. We need to make a positive association with the dog (like you giving treats near the crate as you mentioned) and also use a toy or food or something positive to distract her away from the puppy.

"Or if she is in a crouch position and acts like she wants to pounce him ." - Do you get a sense it is hunting or could it be somewhat playful? How are her ears? Her eyes (dilated?)? Is her hair up? Do you think you could distract her with a treat or a toy to get her not focused on the puppy? If she looks away that would be a great sign. Because cats wouldn't take their eyes away from a potential threat.

"I have been giving her treats when she calmly smells around his pen or crate and her tail stays small I tell she is a good girl." - EXCELLENT!!! GOOD JOB!!!

You are very welcome.

ArtNJ brings up medications. We may have to try that route given the high stakes.

Also, if you can take any videos that can be very helpful so we can see the exact behavior and interpret it.

I also would like to understand the encounters between Missy and the other family members. It sounds like you and Missy have a very good relationship and I would like to understand the relationship between Missy and the others. Does anyone else feed her? Cats respond to food so building trust and a relationship with food is very important (I do it with ferals all the time).

And I can't stress enough now important play is.

You are very welcome. Please feel free to mention anything and ask any questions. We have some work to do but I am optimistic we can improve this situation.
She has actually bit me several times , 2 of the times felt like they went to the bone and one time I bruised horribly. I do not rub her head unless she ask for it. She sits in my lap and nudges my hand with her head. She loves my daughter too but she is a senior in high school and is on the go. Right now she is spending alot if time upstairs. Not much in the family room since that is where The puppy is. We have always noticed when my daughter and I play with her she gets excited and arches her back and jumps around like a spider. Her tail gets enormous then. But her disposition is playful. She will walk away from the puppy, he wants to be friends, pretty sure that will never happen lol.

Thanks for your help. The one comment above from someone that said to find a no kill shelter and leave her there, was horrible.
 

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"Not sure if cat was fostered and socialized. When she was first found she was very sick." - All my cats have been ferals, off the streets. Some I have taken in have been older (most difficult), some younger. Some ill and/or injured, some healthy. They are (and have been) all loving cats. I tend to believe that with the right efforts cats can be good even with a difficult start to life. It may not be easy always but it is possible most of the time and very rewarding.

"She has actually bit me several times , 2 of the times felt like they went to the bone and one time I bruised horribly." - Did you need hospitalization? So they did break the skin?

"I do not rub her head unless she ask for it." - That is wise an it is important to not overstimulate her. Watch her body language to know when enough s enough.So her tail movement, her eyes, her ears, etc.

"She sits in my lap and nudges my hand with her head." - That is sweet that she asks for love.

"She loves my daughter too but she is a senior in high school and is on the go." - Great. The fact she can trust and love 2 people tells me she is capable. We just need to build more confidence and trust in her and educate visitors on how to act around her.

What does she do to visitors?

"Right now she is spending alot if time upstairs." - Interesting. How does she act up there? Normal or is she hiding more? Is she walking differently? Does she seem hesitant about coming down? Does she have a cat tree, warm and comfy bedding, litter box, water, a scratching post there? A place to look outside and watch the wildlife? Everything to be comfortable and to feel happy? Does she seem happy? Or anxious, unhappy?

"We have always noticed when my daughter and I play with her she gets excited and arches her back and jumps around like a spider." - I would have to see this. Some cats (one of mine) does this all the time when playing. They hop around. Sometimes they do that to look bigger to a potential predator. It just depends. If you can get video of this I could see what it might mean.

"Her tail gets enormous then." - This could suggest just being excited but t could suggest some fear or defensiveness. Again, seeing it may help in understanding what is going on.

"But her disposition is playful." - How so? Can you describe this more?

"She will walk away from the puppy, he wants to be friends" - Really. That is REALLY positive. NO cat would turn there back on a potential predator as they are an existential threat. We need to make positive associations between the puppy and Missy and try to make every encounter between them as positive as possible (distracting as needed - either one).

"pretty sure that will never happen lol." - I am not sure I would come to that conclusion yet. Let's see how we progress.

"The one comment above from someone that said to find a no kill shelter and leave her there, was horrible." - I know ArtNJ and he doesn't mean anything bad by that. He is a great contributor on here. He is trying to protect you and your family (puppy included) and any visitors. Sometimes in messages misunderstandings can easily happen. ArtNJ is a very kind and humane person.

Anything you can share to help me understand Missy more could be very helpful. When I read your first post I had a certain picture and now I have a different (and better) picture. I am not exactly sure it is clear though. So please share anything you feel may be relevant. So things like how she acted before a negative incident, what the incident was, how she acted after.

So these from your first post -

"Then when we went on vacay I had a friend who dog sat for us come to the house to feed the cat and she would stalk and try to scratch my friend." - I would like to know how this exactly happened. How the dog sitter acted. What they did. (May be difficult to know). This could have happened from stress, separation anxiety. Was the human familiar or good with cats?

"My mom walked past the cat who was sitting on back of sofa, the cat for no reason bit and scratched my mom horribly. - Was this when you just moved in? Moving is VERY stressful for a cat since they don't "own" the new territory. And then little movements, different behavior, positioning (feeling cornered) can all factor in. I don't want to minimize injury as it is horrible. I am glad she got through the terrible illness from the scratch.

I would also like to understand your husband's relationship with Missy. Does he ever feed her? Food is the best way to build trust with a cat. He is an animal lover but does he love cats? How does he feel towards Missy? Our emotions (fear, anger, love happiness) towards a cat can affect a cat. Has Missy ever attacked him?

Also,cats are territorial creatures so the more territory they feel like they "own" tends to help them feel more confident and confident cats are less likely to attack or be attacked. Playing, feeding, giving them places to hang out, etc and places where they can get their scents on things (bedding, scratching posts, cat trees) are good to help increase ownership and confidence.

Also, we don't want to force cats into a smaller territory or close them in etc if at all possible. Taking away territory can cause stress and stress can cause bad behavior.



Did your mom ever have cats? If so, is she "cat savvy"?

Attacking the dog could just be fear. Attacking people could be redirected aggression from the fear of the dog.

I am so sorry for the loss of your GS. I LOVE GS dogs and all dogs and know how hard loss is. And when we are mourning it definitely impact the emotions of our other animals (especially cats) and cause them stress and then bad behavior.

Sorry for he randomness of the post and all the questions but I am trying to get a good picture as to why things are happening and how often etc.

You are very welcome, I am happy to help. I want to save a cat's life and make the family's life better (human and animal). I have dogs, I have cats (all former ferals), I work with ferals. I have learned a lot over the years and if I can share and help I surely will.

Just feel free to share anything large or small. It may be relevant and help in our quest to make things better. Please be safe but also let Missy see the love you have for her. I can tell in your posts how much you love her and I think that love will be a big part in solving these issues. Hang in there, I am more optimistic today then at any time.

Make sure you read these as they are excellent

Why Do Cats Attack? – Cat Articles

How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog – Cat Articles

I have to go now but will check again tomorrow. If Missy can trust and love you and your daughter I truly believe she can others as well. Hang in there.
 
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K Hope

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Look who is sitting with me tonight in the aame.room.as puppy in naby play pen
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calicosrspecial

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:yess: :clap2::hyper::rock::purr:

She is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!

This picture actually made me cry tears of happiness!!

I know we can make this better. Sometimes there is a moment where we just know that we can improve the situation. I had this moment now. I can't tell you how my heart feels right now. It is exploding with joy!!

We have work to do but I am highly confident we can make this situation work.

You are doing the exact right thing. Making a positive association (Missy is enjoying life in your lap, feeling secure, confident) and making a positive encounter with the puppy. Missy can smell the puppy and she is loving life in your lap. And as Missy gets more confident and feels more secure we should continue to make improvements building that trust with the puppy and with humans in the house.

Keep using food and/or treats around the puppy or in the area where Missy feels less secure. Also, if possible play with her in those areas and feed after. Keep trying to make every encounter as positive as possible with the puppy. Talk calmly, confidently, and lovingly to her when the puppy is around. Reassure her that all is well. Cats take on our emotions so the more calm, confident and loving we are the more they will most likely be. If you sense tension try to distract with words, food, or a toy. Anytime we can get the cat (or dog) to look away from each other and avoid any negativity is a positive in building trust in their relationship.

I am SO PROUD of you and Missy!!! This moment tells me that with work we can really make improve strides in improving the relationships (both puppy and human).

WOW!!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY!!! We have more work to do but I am so excited that we are going to make life better for your whole family.

Please feel free to ask any questions and to share any information.

Keep up the GREAT WORK!!!
 
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