Hey ... I'm new to the forum and I have a rather uncomfortable problem that I need some advice about. Hang tight ... it's a bit of a long one ...
I have two beautiful, spayed, female bengal cats. They are 4 and 5. I got the first one (Journey) as a three year old retired breeding female as she wasn't getting along with the 8 cats in her cattery home (which was a small row townhouse) about 2 years ago. About 8 or 9 months ago, I thought it would be nice for Journey to have some low-key feline company and I was living in a large house with lots of space for two cats so I found Belle, who was also a retired breeding female. Belle's personality seemed perfect. She was loving, sweet, and SUPER chill. Belle has lived alongside other cats her whole life with no issues up to that point. It seemed perfect. I figured, with proper introductions, lots of space, and supervision, Journey would be fine with a 2 cat house.
I was wrong. I have spent the last 9 months doing EVERYTHING to try and mitigate the constant spats between the two. Since the problems were stemming from Journey, I have tried putting her on anti-anxiety meds, mild sedatives, providing lots of exercise, putting calming supplements in the food, using Feliway diffusers (both the classic and Feliway friends) and every combination of this stuff that I could think of with vet guidance. I have tried reintroducing them a couple times, feeding them in the same room and at the same time ... everything I could think of and read about, I tried it. I had Journey in for a behavioural assessment at the vet and the vet's diagnosis was that Journey is just a B-word to other cats. It's just who she is.
Things have calmed down for sure. We've actually gone quite a while without a fur-flying fight, but Journey constantly terrorizes Belle (the second cat). Journey stalks Belle when she tries to use the litter box and it got to a point where I had to put Belle in the litter box and protect her so she had a chance to use it in peace several times a day and I have three litter boxes in the house. The cats do have positive interactions sometimes. When I come home, they both run to the door to greet me and I like to use that time as kitty bonding and they will actually sniff each other and Journey has even licked Belle a couple times. That being said, Journey has continued stalking and chasing Belle, and Belle is scared of Journey all the time.
Belle spends most of her time at the top of her cat tree (they each have one that's 6+ feet tall and both are on opposite sides of the same window) and only comes down to sit with me on the couch when I'm there. She definitely sees me as her protector and feels safe to come down when around, but otherwise, she lives on her cat tree and it breaks my heart. When she does dare to come down, and I'm not around or close enough to intervene, Journey chases her back to her cat tree.
I don't know what else to do or try and about a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, who I was living with. He has no claim to either of the cats. They have both been my financial responsibility 100% from day 1 ... but he did suggest that maybe we should split up the cats, for their own well being.
A large part of me wants to tell him to pound sand ... they're my cats. Always have been, always will be ... but another part of me says, maybe it is best if we split them up. Belle has always had normal reactions to other cats. Journey is the one perpetuating the cycle of cat aggression in the house and nothing I have done has really curbed it to a point where Belle can live her life in peaceful co-existence. The problem is both Belle and Journey are highly attached to me. Journey is my constant shadow ... no matter where I go, Journey is there. If I sit, she sits, if I go to bed, she comes to bed with me. Belle would be the same if she had freedom to do it. Belle gives me head bonks and purrs and kneads when she gets to come sit with me. How could I possibly choose?
Journey is a delicate flower with lots of idiosyncrasies. Moving would be super hard on her ... so my first inclination, if I DO decide to only move one, would be for me to take Belle and leave Journey. My ex adores both cats and I have no doubt that he would attempt to take good care of one of them if I decided to leave one with him. On the other hand, part of the reason I left was because he's not a responsible person. I'd be concerned that, with his absentmindedness and lack of ability to plan, he'll run out of food and Journey needs to eat special food to prevent her from getting urinary crystals. The food is expensive and there are only one or two vet clinics that actually stock and sell it, so if you haven't planned to make sure you have enough food, it's easy to run out. Belle is easy to look after. Eats anything ... no weird preferences ... doesn't necessarily need the special vet food ... just ... simple and straight forward cat care.
I don't know what to do. My heart says take them both and figure it out. My head says, they're miserable when they're together and it's not fair to the cats to force them to live in a stressful environment ... what would you do?
I have two beautiful, spayed, female bengal cats. They are 4 and 5. I got the first one (Journey) as a three year old retired breeding female as she wasn't getting along with the 8 cats in her cattery home (which was a small row townhouse) about 2 years ago. About 8 or 9 months ago, I thought it would be nice for Journey to have some low-key feline company and I was living in a large house with lots of space for two cats so I found Belle, who was also a retired breeding female. Belle's personality seemed perfect. She was loving, sweet, and SUPER chill. Belle has lived alongside other cats her whole life with no issues up to that point. It seemed perfect. I figured, with proper introductions, lots of space, and supervision, Journey would be fine with a 2 cat house.
I was wrong. I have spent the last 9 months doing EVERYTHING to try and mitigate the constant spats between the two. Since the problems were stemming from Journey, I have tried putting her on anti-anxiety meds, mild sedatives, providing lots of exercise, putting calming supplements in the food, using Feliway diffusers (both the classic and Feliway friends) and every combination of this stuff that I could think of with vet guidance. I have tried reintroducing them a couple times, feeding them in the same room and at the same time ... everything I could think of and read about, I tried it. I had Journey in for a behavioural assessment at the vet and the vet's diagnosis was that Journey is just a B-word to other cats. It's just who she is.
Things have calmed down for sure. We've actually gone quite a while without a fur-flying fight, but Journey constantly terrorizes Belle (the second cat). Journey stalks Belle when she tries to use the litter box and it got to a point where I had to put Belle in the litter box and protect her so she had a chance to use it in peace several times a day and I have three litter boxes in the house. The cats do have positive interactions sometimes. When I come home, they both run to the door to greet me and I like to use that time as kitty bonding and they will actually sniff each other and Journey has even licked Belle a couple times. That being said, Journey has continued stalking and chasing Belle, and Belle is scared of Journey all the time.
Belle spends most of her time at the top of her cat tree (they each have one that's 6+ feet tall and both are on opposite sides of the same window) and only comes down to sit with me on the couch when I'm there. She definitely sees me as her protector and feels safe to come down when around, but otherwise, she lives on her cat tree and it breaks my heart. When she does dare to come down, and I'm not around or close enough to intervene, Journey chases her back to her cat tree.
I don't know what else to do or try and about a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, who I was living with. He has no claim to either of the cats. They have both been my financial responsibility 100% from day 1 ... but he did suggest that maybe we should split up the cats, for their own well being.
A large part of me wants to tell him to pound sand ... they're my cats. Always have been, always will be ... but another part of me says, maybe it is best if we split them up. Belle has always had normal reactions to other cats. Journey is the one perpetuating the cycle of cat aggression in the house and nothing I have done has really curbed it to a point where Belle can live her life in peaceful co-existence. The problem is both Belle and Journey are highly attached to me. Journey is my constant shadow ... no matter where I go, Journey is there. If I sit, she sits, if I go to bed, she comes to bed with me. Belle would be the same if she had freedom to do it. Belle gives me head bonks and purrs and kneads when she gets to come sit with me. How could I possibly choose?
Journey is a delicate flower with lots of idiosyncrasies. Moving would be super hard on her ... so my first inclination, if I DO decide to only move one, would be for me to take Belle and leave Journey. My ex adores both cats and I have no doubt that he would attempt to take good care of one of them if I decided to leave one with him. On the other hand, part of the reason I left was because he's not a responsible person. I'd be concerned that, with his absentmindedness and lack of ability to plan, he'll run out of food and Journey needs to eat special food to prevent her from getting urinary crystals. The food is expensive and there are only one or two vet clinics that actually stock and sell it, so if you haven't planned to make sure you have enough food, it's easy to run out. Belle is easy to look after. Eats anything ... no weird preferences ... doesn't necessarily need the special vet food ... just ... simple and straight forward cat care.
I don't know what to do. My heart says take them both and figure it out. My head says, they're miserable when they're together and it's not fair to the cats to force them to live in a stressful environment ... what would you do?
