Hello all. I signed up for this site after a difficult morning admitting to my fiancé and myself that I’m just not getting along with our kitten. If that sounds assanine, believe me, I hear myself saying I resent our baby kitty and I feel completely done with myself, but it is just honestly how I feel.
So, to explain the situation, she’s the fourth cat I’ve ever had. My first cat I was very young and we had to rehome her with a family friend because when I was little I had allergies. My second, Yuki, was my absolute baby. She was a precious adopted kitten who turned out to be deaf, but had this huge personality. Unfortunately, while I was staying with my dad and my mom was watching her there was an incident with Yuki hurting our dog and she returned her, which devastated me.
Finally you have Johan. Johan was technically my fiancé’s cat, but... oh my god. He was the best cat. We found him and his sister wandering in the street as tiny kittens and got the privilege of 9 glorious years with that goofball before he suddenly started having trouble breathing a few months ago and just like that, one of my best friends was snatched away from me. I said Yuki devastated me but losing Johan took a piece of me. I’ve been ill with an autoimmune disease for the last 6 years and Johan and me just hung out constantly. If I didn’t get up during the day he’d cry until I let him in. Some days I would get sick and fall, I’d wake up and he’d be curled up laying next to me, purring softly.
So I have two small dogs, and they’re pure sunshine, but the hole left behind by our cat was one I was just reeling from and I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that we should adopt a kitten. I love animals and I think adopting from animal shelters is a great way to help out and enrich your life, but I can’t stress enough that in my current mental state and physical state what a stupid decision this was.
Still, we decided to pick out a kitten and adopted Artemis. She’s a beautiful, adorable little kitten. It was my idea to get her. I picked her name. I picked her. I brought her home. And at first her and I got along great. She was so cute and all cuddles. She wanted to be on me all the time, and I loved that. I wanted that. My fiancé was complaining though that because I was with her all day she wasn’t bonding with him. So I backed off and let them bond.
And they did. Now she adores him. Only him. She doesn’t hate me or anything. She just runs away if I get too close. She doesn’t like petting, being held, or cuddling. She never sits on me. She likes it if I feed her and she’ll come play if I use a toy but... that’s it. If I ignore her she ignores me. She’ll choose my fiancé, the dogs, the drapes, a pile of dvds... anything over interacting with me. If I have to pick her up to move her she shreds me. I realize this sounds like being mad at a cat for being a cat but... I just don’t know how to feel about living with an animal I can’t be close to.
The longer I have her the more I feel guilty, too. Animals deserve love and affection. She doesn’t deserve to have a wicked stepmom sighing over everything she does. I want to love her but I can’t shake this feeling that we never should have adopted her in the first place. It’s all my fault and I don’t know how to fix it.
If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it. Please know that when I talk about resentment it’s more how I feel seeing the cat, I don’t literally blame her. She’s a good kitten, she hasn’t done anything wrong, I just don’t know how to fix the hole in my heart.
So, to explain the situation, she’s the fourth cat I’ve ever had. My first cat I was very young and we had to rehome her with a family friend because when I was little I had allergies. My second, Yuki, was my absolute baby. She was a precious adopted kitten who turned out to be deaf, but had this huge personality. Unfortunately, while I was staying with my dad and my mom was watching her there was an incident with Yuki hurting our dog and she returned her, which devastated me.
Finally you have Johan. Johan was technically my fiancé’s cat, but... oh my god. He was the best cat. We found him and his sister wandering in the street as tiny kittens and got the privilege of 9 glorious years with that goofball before he suddenly started having trouble breathing a few months ago and just like that, one of my best friends was snatched away from me. I said Yuki devastated me but losing Johan took a piece of me. I’ve been ill with an autoimmune disease for the last 6 years and Johan and me just hung out constantly. If I didn’t get up during the day he’d cry until I let him in. Some days I would get sick and fall, I’d wake up and he’d be curled up laying next to me, purring softly.
So I have two small dogs, and they’re pure sunshine, but the hole left behind by our cat was one I was just reeling from and I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that we should adopt a kitten. I love animals and I think adopting from animal shelters is a great way to help out and enrich your life, but I can’t stress enough that in my current mental state and physical state what a stupid decision this was.
Still, we decided to pick out a kitten and adopted Artemis. She’s a beautiful, adorable little kitten. It was my idea to get her. I picked her name. I picked her. I brought her home. And at first her and I got along great. She was so cute and all cuddles. She wanted to be on me all the time, and I loved that. I wanted that. My fiancé was complaining though that because I was with her all day she wasn’t bonding with him. So I backed off and let them bond.
And they did. Now she adores him. Only him. She doesn’t hate me or anything. She just runs away if I get too close. She doesn’t like petting, being held, or cuddling. She never sits on me. She likes it if I feed her and she’ll come play if I use a toy but... that’s it. If I ignore her she ignores me. She’ll choose my fiancé, the dogs, the drapes, a pile of dvds... anything over interacting with me. If I have to pick her up to move her she shreds me. I realize this sounds like being mad at a cat for being a cat but... I just don’t know how to feel about living with an animal I can’t be close to.
The longer I have her the more I feel guilty, too. Animals deserve love and affection. She doesn’t deserve to have a wicked stepmom sighing over everything she does. I want to love her but I can’t shake this feeling that we never should have adopted her in the first place. It’s all my fault and I don’t know how to fix it.
If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it. Please know that when I talk about resentment it’s more how I feel seeing the cat, I don’t literally blame her. She’s a good kitten, she hasn’t done anything wrong, I just don’t know how to fix the hole in my heart.