Told I Spend Too Much Money

[maggiedemi]

How you spend your money is your business. Sometimes people speak without thinking or they just have different opinions about things. If it's a good friend, I would try to talk things out. I know I have to take my cats to the vet at least once a year for a checkup to be able to order de-worming meds for them.

 

[MissileCatrisis]

I once had a roommate who couldn't understand why I would have a pet instead of using the money to improve the conditions for humans. I spent about $30 a month on my cat, she sent her money to Save the Children or some other charity like that. How do you explain caring about a pet to someone who doesn't understand the idea of having a pet? Your friend made me think of this, that she just doesn't get it for some reason and probably never will. Keep on loving your furbabies.

Yes! not my friend, but someone told me I don't care about people. Because I had posted an anti-fur post. Said, should care about people too. Which doesn't mean people whom love animals are putting off people as well. Pretty much just like you said.

It is true. People are clueless as to how it feels to love your cats. I once was feeding a stray at my door, and my friend who was with me said "you can't solve the world's problems". I said, "I can if they are at my doorstep."

I have fed strays as well. They deserve food!

As long as you and your cat is happy, and your budget is balanced- you should be worry free. You are not only taking care of yourself, but also two pets. That in itself is a testimony to dedication to responsibility.
You have decided to share your life, time and home with these two, and thats the best thing you can do.
I wish others also devoted time to at least one pet- provided they have that capacity. So many pets will be saved from shelters.

This is so true. If people were better! my sister lives next to this family who has one of the sweetest pit bulls. He is always left outside, even if it is hot or cold, mind it doesn't get very cold in California. But it has dropped down to the 30s in the Inland Empire (Corona, Norco, Riverside, Perris, Lake Elisnore, Temecula,and other cities). Even in Orange County, it has dropped in the 40s, summers especially August have reached 113-117 depending on where you lived and this poor dog was outside. My sister would give him treats because they gave zero. They just gave him food. No toys. He CRAVED the attention. So, definitely, animals need just as much as people.

The bottom line is you both spend money on what you consider important. It’s not for her to criticize what you spend your money on and the other way around. I feel sorry for her animals, I guess she considers them disposable decorations.

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I mean, she has gotten uniary tract infection food diet for one of her cats. but doesn't really care to vaccinate them. Even though they go outside. so she does more than just basics but is at that border line of basic care.

Unless you are borrowing money from her to pay your bills, it's no ones business but your own on how you spend your money.

I have not borrowed money from her. She wants me to save and save. Which is good, but I have to take care of everything first. I have money in my savings so I'm ok.

1CatOvertheLine hits the nail on the head. IMO, the friends with whom we are the most compatible will have the most to do with our lifestyle choices in terms of how we value what is most important to us - in this case, our "babies". This common denominator will weigh much more than people with whom we share similar education, religion, socio-economic backgrounds or hobbies.

I have nothing against non-cat lovers. I simply realize they are not people with whom I would be very compatible. We would have little in common.

The fact that your friend chooses to spend money on coffee shops and $ 40.00 shorts yet thinks you spend too much on vet care shows a different value system, IMO.

This is true. People have and will always have different values on everything.

 

[sabrinah]

My dad has close to the same philosophy as your friend. He doesn't believe in taking cats to the vet besides to get them spayed/neutered, but he's ok with dogs going to the vet. He doesn't believe in treating anything that an animal couldn't survive with "in the wild" other than a broken leg. Pets should eat the cheapest food available at the grocery store and he rolls his eyes at pets having allergies and food sensitivities, and doesn't believe that can all dry food diet can cause health problems. For years whenever I made the mistake of telling him I'm taking my cat to the vet for some issue or another (dental, chronic impacted salivary ducts, anal gland issues), the first thing he would say is "you know you might have to put the cat to sleep." Honestly, if my cat was his she would have died years ago from easily treatable issues.

 

[MRG2018]

My dad has close to the same philosophy as your friend. He doesn't believe in taking cats to the vet besides to get them spayed/neutered, but he's ok with dogs going to the vet. He doesn't believe in treating anything that an animal couldn't survive with "in the wild" other than a broken leg. Pets should eat the cheapest food available at the grocery store and he rolls his eyes at pets having allergies and food sensitivities, and doesn't believe that can all dry food diet can cause health problems. For years whenever I made the mistake of telling him I'm taking my cat to the vet for some issue or another (dental, chronic impacted salivary ducts, anal gland issues), the first thing he would say is "you know you might have to put the cat to sleep." Honestly, if my cat was his she would have died years ago from easily treatable issues.

Back then, they didnt haven access to all the information and resources we have. And vet medicine was certainly not so advanced or so nuanced to well differentiate diseases. The field has grown in leaps and bounds.

Some people like to keep themselves update regarding certain subjects, some dont. So in his mind he probably thinks the information he received or the exposure he had was good enough without realizing that medical field has come so far in terms of diagnosis and treatment for pets.

I am so surprised at all the new things come through in medicine- just the amount of new devices or treatments in the past 5 years has changed the paradigm of therapy for many diseases, in many fields, and for both humans and animals.

This is the golden age of science, the age of exploration, the age of research and the age of achieving results. I am lucky to be a part of it. We have come so far with regards to health care in the past 20 years, that informing your parents about these changes almost seems imaginary to them.

Offtopic- whenever anyone around me says 'the good ole days', I mention- yes the good ole days of polio with an iron lung and small pox.

 

[Daisy6]

I have not borrowed money from her. She wants me to save and save. Which is good, but I have to take care of everything first. I have money in my savings so I'm ok.

Why would she want you to save money while wasting her own money?

I would never be friends with someone who thinks cats are less important than an expensive pair of shorts and coffee.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I've found the older I'm getting; the less I care about outside opinions regarding my personal choices and/or finances. That includes longtime friends I used to share every little detail with when we were younger.

I think a good aim for everyone is to do the best you can with what you have and what you know. Every person is different and every situation is different. Educate yourself and go from there.

 

[misterwhiskers]

Better to spend $200 twice a year and spend a little more on food than to get stuck with a $4000 vet bill over something avoidable.

 

[furmonster mom]

In this world of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever other social media people tend to involve themselves in, it seems like we've forgotten a little phrase that used to be fairly common; none of your business.

Call me old fashioned, but it seems like a lot of people out there have no sense of privacy or propriety. People will discuss anything, criticize anything, opine anything, without really considering the consequences of their invasions... until it happens to them.

As metric, I try to ask myself "why should I care?" or even "why do they care?". The second, if you can answer it, will give you more insight into the other person(s) than you might think.

 

[Daisy6]

Q: Why should I care what they do with their money?
A: I can't be friends with people who neglect animals. If someone has a pet and a lot of money but spends very little money on pet care, I don't want to be a friend.

Q: Why do they care what I do with my money?
A: The person who cares about that is my mom, who can see everything I use my money for because I live with her. I have bank accounts tied to hers.

 

[himawari]

I've been told the same thing numerous times by my co-workers and close friends (some have even joked about wanting to be my pet). But I don't let it affect me because at the end of the day, only I care about my cat. I'm his sole provider -- emotionally and physically. And to me, my cat deserves the best that I am able to give him.

Sure my cat doesn't need a $100 cat tree or premium food that's like $2-3 a can when there are cheaper alternatives, but I want him to have that. For me, it's a bit similar to a parent working abroad and leaving their child. They don't have to do that, but if it means a better life for their child then yes, yes they will go.

 

[furmonster mom]

Q: Why should I care what they do with their money?
A: I can't be friends with people who neglect animals. If someone has a pet and a lot of money but spends very little money on pet care, I don't want to be a friend.

If it's none of their business how you spend your money, then it's none of your business how they spend theirs. Two way street.

I do not take my animals in for annuals, and I only vaccinate twice in their lifetimes. This has nothing to do with neglect, and everything to do with my own understanding of my animals health. As for vaccines, I believe that animals are unnecessarily over vaccinated (and my vet, who I've been going to for 15 years, and who knows I'm an intelligent and educated pet owner, doesn't push it with me either).
But according to your metric, we could never be friends.

Q: Why do they care what I do with my money?
A: The person who cares about that is my mom, who can see everything I use my money for because I live with her. I have bank accounts tied to hers.

I thought we were talking about a friend (edit: the OP's friend), not your mother. If it's your mother who's telling you to cut back your spending, then that is a whole 'nother scenario.

 

[Daisy6]

We can still be friends. I was specifically thinking about rich people who assume it is more important to live in the lap of luxury than try to keep their cats healthy as long as possible. It is all about priorities. sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

[furmonster mom]

Thing is, you are making an assumption as well...

You are assuming that because someone has the money but doesn't spend it on multiple vet visits then they don't care for their animals. When the possibility exists that they are somewhat like myself, who knows and understands their animals health and doesn't feel the need for multiple unnecessary checks/vaccines/bloodwork.

That is a judgmental assumption that we have no right to make.
Just like that (supposedly wealthy) person has no right to make the judgemental assumption that someone (less wealthy?) who prefers annual vet visits is some kind of spendthrift.

It's no business of one or the other how they decide to spend their money.

IF there is true animal abuse or neglect (lack of food, shelter), then that is a different conversation, and there are avenues to take for that kind of situation.

 

[dustydiamond1]

My dad has close to the same philosophy as your friend. He doesn't believe in taking cats to the vet besides to get them spayed/neutered, but he's ok with dogs going to the vet. He doesn't believe in treating anything that an animal couldn't survive with "in the wild" other than a broken leg. Pets should eat the cheapest food available at the grocery store and he rolls his eyes at pets having allergies and food sensitivities, and doesn't believe that can all dry food diet can cause health problems. For years whenever I made the mistake of telling him I'm taking my cat to the vet for some issue or another (dental, chronic impacted salivary ducts, anal gland issues), the first thing he would say is "you know you might have to put the cat to sleep." Honestly, if my cat was his she would have died years ago from easily treatable issues.

 

[Shane Kent]

Someone told me that, I would laugh at them.

The Love Shoot

• Shane Kent
• Sep 9, 2017

My wife cannot resist.

Resized_20170810_213320

• Shane Kent
• Aug 14, 2017

Kitty and her big step brother Taz.

Taz and a new chair.

• Shane Kent
• Oct 29, 2017
• 3

Loves the new little chair.

Upholstered kid chair.

Taz with his step sisters Zoe and Kitty

• Shane Kent
• Nov 17, 2017
• 1

I have three upholstered pet chairs.

Rusty in Sweater

• Shane Kent
• Dec 31, 2017
• 2

Two IKEA pet beds.

Zaren and Kane's cat tree.

• Shane Kent
• Nov 21, 2017
• 1

I still have it, that photo is today. It is about 18 years old. Carpet with carpet glue and no...

I have so much cat stuff it would make you absolutely sick. I have kid crawl tubes, laser toys, etc. I have two other cat trees one of which is four feet tall and three feet wide with the other one 6 feet tall. And the cats all get vet checkups and shots. How I spend my money is nobody's business but mine. My cats are my kids and people spend more on hockey, etc. (where I live) than I spend on my cats.

To those that do not understand my love for cats, I feel sorry for them. Cats are such beautiful, elegant and grateful animals. People that don't think they are grateful don't fully understand cats. My cats show me that they are grateful every single day.

 

[valou999]

My dad has close to the same philosophy as your friend.

My mom is the same. In both our cases I think it's partially a generational thing. My grandfather (her father) was even worse, he would not hesitate to kill unwanted litter of kittens by shoving them into a plastic bag and plugging it to a car's exhaust pipe. The perception of pets has really changed over time, for the better thankfully, but there's still people who sees pets as not worth spending a dime on, unless absolutely necessary, as though they only exist to be a decorative accessories like some piece of furniture. I think the younger generation has been better educated to the needs of pets so they have long healthy lives as legitimate member of the family. A pet is high maintenance, you shouldn't get one if you are so adverse to the idea of spending money to properly care for them (spaying/neutering, vaccines, annual checkups, etc.), it might just not be for you.

Sure, you can skip a few checkups, *maybe*, when they are young or middle-aged and feed them supermarket crap, I've done this when I was without a job and broke, and chances are it will be relatively alright, but I would absolutely not recommend this, not if you have the means to do otherwise. Pets can't talk and tell you they are feeling sick, hence why the checkups are important and bringing the cat to the vet when its behaving abnormally. It's obvious the OP's friend, as well as my mom, they are not without money, so it is a deliberate choice not to give their pets the best they can, it's not a priority in their eye - it's an absolute shame. I'm sure they still love their pets but they are being neglectful by essentially relying on the blind belief that nothing bad will ever happen to their pets (all this in favour of what exactly? 'Cause they wouldn't be in a worse place financial were they to take proper care of their pets... *shrugs*). Yeah that's totally how life works, right? Nothing ever goes wrong, nothing ever deviates from the beaten path... In La-la-land maybe...

Anyway, if your pets are your priority in life, as it should as a responsible pet owner, then don't let your friend or anyone else bring you down. You are the one doing what is right by your pets.

 

[Shane Kent]

valou999 I have some I treat like furniture. But only the shiny ones

 

[Daisy6]

I have cat collectibles too. Unfortunately Daisy knocked one off the wrong way, so it is stuck upside down between my dresser and the wall.

 

[valou999]

valou999 I have some I treat like furniture. But only the shiny ones

LOL, yeah, those you can treat like furniture no problem! xD