Given the personal grooming habits, I'm leaning toward OCD. Or at least something toward that end of the spectrum of behavior.
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This is long but I need some advice.
- Thread starter sfell
- Start Date
SOOOOOOOOOOOO how did it go last night?????
I was thinking about you and crossed my fingers.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #23
Well we've talked and I think he is finally starting to understand. I told him how this whole situation made me feel and how it wasn't fair for him to not compromise on anything with the animals. He didn't say much but he did say it was fine with him that I want to have the cats out more often. So here is what's going to happen.
In the mornings, once the dogs are put in their kennel as usual, instead of me getting ready in my bedroom and our bathroom I'm going to get ready in the spare bathroom and the cats will be let out to be with me in there while I shower and get ready. They always loved doing this with me and it was a morning ritual before we moved into the house. I'm really looking forward to this, I've been missing getting to do this with them.
Hubby gets home from work while I'm getting ready in the morning so when I go off and he gets goes to bed the cats will go back in the room. Once he is up and ready around 3:00 he will put the kitties out on the patio and the dogs will be inside with him. I get home around 6:15 and we will eat dinner and spend time with the dogs and then we will put the dogs on the patio or in their kennel and bring the cats inside and WE will play and spend some time with them. Then we will let the dogs back in/out for a while and let the cats do as they please (which means they will probably retreat to the room but we are going to get a cat tree and put it in the living room so they can go to the tree instead of the room). The cats are getting better with the dogs, it's just been a very slow process. Toonces has always been okay with them. Buttons used to hide from them like Patches does but now Buttons will actually come about and let them come near her, but she let's them know when she's had enough!
I am also going to do some re-decorating in the pet room to make it more cat friendly for when they are in the room.
Well, what do ya think? I think it's a positive step in the right direction but I'm not ruling out counceling. I casually mentioned it to him, he wasn't thrilled about counceling but he didn't reject it either. I'm going to go ahead and start for myself because of my depression (it doesn't just stem from this whole situation, it involves a lot of personal issues I am battling in myself that have nothing to do with him). I think once I start going and talking with someone they can give me tips on how I can get him to come in. My husband is a very personal person and has trouble talking to anybody about anything private (even me) so it's going to take babysteps to get him to warm up to the idea. I know he will since he didn't flat out reject the idea when I suggested it but I could see his reserve.
Well I gotta get caught up on all these other threads. Thank you guys so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.
In the mornings, once the dogs are put in their kennel as usual, instead of me getting ready in my bedroom and our bathroom I'm going to get ready in the spare bathroom and the cats will be let out to be with me in there while I shower and get ready. They always loved doing this with me and it was a morning ritual before we moved into the house. I'm really looking forward to this, I've been missing getting to do this with them.
Hubby gets home from work while I'm getting ready in the morning so when I go off and he gets goes to bed the cats will go back in the room. Once he is up and ready around 3:00 he will put the kitties out on the patio and the dogs will be inside with him. I get home around 6:15 and we will eat dinner and spend time with the dogs and then we will put the dogs on the patio or in their kennel and bring the cats inside and WE will play and spend some time with them. Then we will let the dogs back in/out for a while and let the cats do as they please (which means they will probably retreat to the room but we are going to get a cat tree and put it in the living room so they can go to the tree instead of the room). The cats are getting better with the dogs, it's just been a very slow process. Toonces has always been okay with them. Buttons used to hide from them like Patches does but now Buttons will actually come about and let them come near her, but she let's them know when she's had enough!
I am also going to do some re-decorating in the pet room to make it more cat friendly for when they are in the room.
Well, what do ya think? I think it's a positive step in the right direction but I'm not ruling out counceling. I casually mentioned it to him, he wasn't thrilled about counceling but he didn't reject it either. I'm going to go ahead and start for myself because of my depression (it doesn't just stem from this whole situation, it involves a lot of personal issues I am battling in myself that have nothing to do with him). I think once I start going and talking with someone they can give me tips on how I can get him to come in. My husband is a very personal person and has trouble talking to anybody about anything private (even me) so it's going to take babysteps to get him to warm up to the idea. I know he will since he didn't flat out reject the idea when I suggested it but I could see his reserve.
Well I gotta get caught up on all these other threads. Thank you guys so much for your support, it really means a lot to me.
That sure sounds like a good start.
I didn't realize you were working different shifts. That can be really hard with no down time together.
Good for you for getting counselling for yourself. Even if he doesn't go in, sometimes it's good to be able to talk about that stuff without having to worry about what someone else thinks. I go to therapy off and on to deal with hubby's depression, because I have issues with it that I can't discuss with him - either it makes things worse for him or he doesn't understand my point of view. But if I see someone, I feel heard and I get to blow off steam so the rest of my life goes more smoothly. And the once or twice hubby came with me ("It would be really beneficial for me if you could come to this session, honey"), he also got a lot out of it. Though if you asked him, he'd say it was a complete waste of time.
Good for you for making some changes that will make you happier. And good for you for not leting yourself become a door mat.
I didn't realize you were working different shifts. That can be really hard with no down time together.
Good for you for getting counselling for yourself. Even if he doesn't go in, sometimes it's good to be able to talk about that stuff without having to worry about what someone else thinks. I go to therapy off and on to deal with hubby's depression, because I have issues with it that I can't discuss with him - either it makes things worse for him or he doesn't understand my point of view. But if I see someone, I feel heard and I get to blow off steam so the rest of my life goes more smoothly. And the once or twice hubby came with me ("It would be really beneficial for me if you could come to this session, honey"), he also got a lot out of it. Though if you asked him, he'd say it was a complete waste of time.
Good for you for making some changes that will make you happier. And good for you for not leting yourself become a door mat.
