Hi, I found this forum while I was searching about saddle thrombus and I thought I’d write my own since it helped me to read others of what they experienced and I’m still coping with my 10year old cat Chi who went through this on Saturday and crossed the bridge.
Please be warned that it...is bit of length here!
It was just a normal day, or in fact it started out as a nice day.
I had a friend on sleep over. Me and my friend had some great time, watched concerts DVD together. During that time, my cat was just peacefully napping in his favourite spots and eating dry food time to time. It was 4pm and time to drive off my friend, we gave few pats to him before we left. I came home, prepped dinner like I usually do, and once I finished eating, I put his dinner in the bowl. I saw him come by with the sound opening of container, as he love eating food and never misses this sound. And with that, I just let him be because I knew once he ate the food, he would likely go back to his favourite couch and I would see him once again when I will give food before I go to sleep.
That was the normal, that was what I expected to happen. He would come bug me at end of the day for his food, I would pet him few times before I go to sleep and I would wake up next day to give breakfast, and he would come by to get attention while I was doing my stuff, snore peacefully, occasionally ask for belly rubs and purr ever so loudly.
Fast forward 11:30pm, I heard some louder than usual thumping noise upstairs. Being the only one in my house at the moment, it had to be the cat or else had to be a stranger. I checked outside of room, didn’t hear anything more so I thought it must have been the cat, and that was normal when he was being slightly naughty. But then, I decided to check just in case, to make sure nothing was wrong and my keys was locked to rest assured. I went up the stairs and saw my cat in his usual lie-down posture. But It was rare for him to be in that lie-down posture on hard floor so I found it a bit odd. Then he meowed very clearly. He usually meowed faintly so I was bit surprised on that as well. Then he tried to stand up and I saw him dragging his behind legs. Like he couldn’t put any power there.
That was when I went blank. Obviously something was happening, something not good.
I googled “animal emergency hospital”, I didn’t even look at the location, I just called the first one that came up hoping they’d offer some guidance. I told them the symptoms and they said to bring him in. Luckily they were in fact the most close-by emergency hospital, 10min drive. I quickly gathered required items and tried to go to the vet ASAP. As I went out, I actually saw a racoon in front of the garage door and that was the only entrance. It took me good few minutes to make this racoon move away by fringing the long pole I found in the house since I couldn’t afford to get hurt now and I wasn’t scary enough for them to move away by just me approaching.
While I was driving, I was talking to my cat who was constantly meowing that its going to be okay. That the doctors will cure your pain soon. I knew about blood clots a bit since I researched some when he was diagnosed with faint heart murmur just 4 month before and it did rise in my mind few times. But I was hoping that it could have been just a broken leg, or even if blood clot, it was be going to be okay in the end.
I got in, luckily it seemed like I was the only patient at that time.
The vets quickly took my cat while I talked about his symptoms, time passed.
I think it wasn’t even 10minutes, I got called in and I was told that he was not in a good state, that it is called ATE(saddle thrombus) and that, they could try the treatment but chances are rare and that they’d recommend letting him go since saddle thrombus causes lots of pain to the cat. Doctors explained and let me touch his cold behind legs, showed me that no blood came out and the cat not even reacting when the doctor cut the nails from the origin. I couldn’t stop crying, I somehow still had hope that I can bring him back home once we visit the vet. I knew good-bye was going to happen since he had a heart murmur, but I thought it would be more gradual. Or at least in few years times, just not this sudden. He was fine few hours ago. I did not imagine I would say good-bye, today.
My heart was leaning more on the side of euthanasia, because I knew he is super bad with car rides. I was not sure how much more of that he can handle with these kinds of underlying condition even if he healed. Also he was meowing constantly even after pain killers, which seemed to support the doctor’s point that he was in sever pain. I thought about a treatment a bit, but the percentage the doctor showed me on some google was under 1% (I cant recall where this was, and the exact number….just looked like very unlikely percentage) and if it was going to be that low, I didn’t think it’d be worth to endure the pain much longer. Also, I had churu with me but even when I bringed it close to him, he licked once but didnt lick afterwords even though its favourite snack, and I thought if he was in that much pain, it was likely better to let him go. So I chose euthanasia. I called my parents who was away travelling, to let them know that this was going to happen. My mom who loved the cat even more so than me, was crying really hard over the phone. The doctors told me I have to choose what to do about ashes and paw prints beforehand as a procedure, at then I just chose by instinct since I didnt have a place to spare my thoughts on which is better.
I gave him pats and hugs, and eventually I could feel that he started to have shorter breathing so I called in the doctors, and it happened while I was petting him on the head, telling that I loved you and to have a good night sleep. The last moment happened really quickly, sedation shot, then right after, the final injection. It was just a minute or so. I did see that that after sedation, for the short moment till he passed away, he started licking around his mouth with his tongue as if he noticed there was churu in front of him just now, now that pain was gone. I’m not sure if it was a reflex but I hope that’s what happened. That he figured the scent (or maybe there was bit that touched around his mouse when i bringed it close to him) and he went into sleep dreaming eating his favourite snack of churu.
I made my payment, I hugged him one last time after he went to sleep. I’ve heard about human body feeling heavy when they have passed away and likewise, he felt much heavier with full weight of his body. I said good-bye, leaving the body to the doctors care and went back home with empty carriers and alone in the car. It was 1:30AM when I left the emergency hospital. The house was as-is as I left, just without the cat. I saw that he had last eaten up his wet food, like any other usual day.
After some time, I had the time to think, and wondered if I made the right decision. Since it happened so quickly, I was not sure if I thought enough before making the decision or if I rushed it through. I felt like partially, I chose it because I didn't want to continue so the hardship would just ended there for both me and him. But maybe he wanted to live longer even with the pain, and was happy if he could eat his food, since he was a happy boy as long as there was food. Or maybe he was happy with his life so far and would say no to continuing life with more pain. Obviously, no one knows. I researched about saddle thrombus and I saw some better statistics about short term recovery and I do wonder if I would have chosen a different decision to treat him if I was presented with those stats back then. Hoping for the chance for him to be back with us even if relatively short time. But then again, there is always another side of the success story that of the people that choose treatment, by stats, around two-in-one, those cats cant make it and the owner might or might not be able to make it for their last moments. Considering my cat was already diagnosed with heart murmur and having saddle thrombus affect both his behind legs, I suspect the chances would have been lower than those of the average stats, but who knows what % that was.
So I feel like I did the right thing (or trying to convince myself), for at least, I was able to be with him for his last minute and I was the only one in the family that had to make this decision. But time to time I wonder if I had made the other choice, maybe I was able to bring him back home, give all the pats and attention, and give enough time for my other family to say good-bye and he would pass away at home where he would be much more comfortable. I dont have anything against the doctors though, everyone was sympathetic to me and tried to assure me when I made the decision. They told me that even if I noticed or brought him in sooner, it would not have made the situation better and that there was nothing i could do more than I did. It really is just a casual wonder, and a question I will never know. Maybe he might have made the miracle or not, all was a possibility but we can only know one outcome.
It’s been just 2 days or like day and a half.
I still cry time to time but I still get hungry, feel that food tastes yummy, and I still laugh at funny videos. I can still do chores and I still feel excited for upcoming future events. I know that like that, the sadness will eventually ease and when the time comes, I can look back on my cute cat like any other good-old memory. I will just remember the lovely presence and how adorable grand-pa he was.
But I still, wish you were here.
I wish I can see you one last time, flopping your stomach, and I would lay beside to pet you, and you would capture my arm with your arms like you just dont want to let me go. I know you didn’t really choose and I also never thought you were that smart one, but I wonder if you chose the timing for me. Choosing when I’m the only one at house and avoided the morning and afternoon so I enjoyed my day without any worries. If you did, then I guess that means you were really smarter and a kinder cat.
You know, If I knew that day was going to be the day for you, I would have petted you all day long or at least till you said no more and I would have given you wet food, not just a bit but a one full can. I would have even given you snacks if you wanted to. The really one regret I have is that, I didn’t give much attention to you that day. I know you can never know ahead, but I wish I was able to. Then I would have done all that.
But I just assumed there was going to be another day with you.
I miss having you around.
I still feel like you might be sleeping somewhere in the house and I keep checking your favourite spots to let it sink in that you are no longer here and you ever wont be. It was just short 2 year with out of your 10 years since we took care of your after the original owner but I hope you enjoyed having us as a company.
Eat lots of your favourite food, enjoy sleeping and gets lots of cuddles wherever you are now! like how you just purred to literally anyone who gave rubs ; )
I wish you could have stayed with us longer but it was a great 2 years having you around.
I hope it was the same for you.
And next time, live healthy a bit longer, okay?
....and I think that is it. Thanks for anyone if you have been reading this extra-long post so far.
It is really more of my personal note since it always helped me cope by writing down what I felt and experienced. And it also made me sooth a bit to see other people’s experience with saddle thrombus to understand that I was not alone in this and that this is really all-of the sudden, and there wasn’t anything we could have done to make the situation better. I hope my post will someday help someone like it did for me. And if anyone recently got their cat diagnosed with heart condition, don't over think it, but give a thought on what you want to do with ashes, paw prints, in a case it happens, so you do not have to decide everything last minute like I did.
I want to send hugs to anyone who lost their important family member like me,
and I pray that every other cat in the world can live a bit longer to be with their family
Please give extra pets to your cat instead of me if you have one. I’m sure they’d love that.
Thank you Chi, Will Always Love you!
Please be warned that it...is bit of length here!
It was just a normal day, or in fact it started out as a nice day.
I had a friend on sleep over. Me and my friend had some great time, watched concerts DVD together. During that time, my cat was just peacefully napping in his favourite spots and eating dry food time to time. It was 4pm and time to drive off my friend, we gave few pats to him before we left. I came home, prepped dinner like I usually do, and once I finished eating, I put his dinner in the bowl. I saw him come by with the sound opening of container, as he love eating food and never misses this sound. And with that, I just let him be because I knew once he ate the food, he would likely go back to his favourite couch and I would see him once again when I will give food before I go to sleep.
That was the normal, that was what I expected to happen. He would come bug me at end of the day for his food, I would pet him few times before I go to sleep and I would wake up next day to give breakfast, and he would come by to get attention while I was doing my stuff, snore peacefully, occasionally ask for belly rubs and purr ever so loudly.
Fast forward 11:30pm, I heard some louder than usual thumping noise upstairs. Being the only one in my house at the moment, it had to be the cat or else had to be a stranger. I checked outside of room, didn’t hear anything more so I thought it must have been the cat, and that was normal when he was being slightly naughty. But then, I decided to check just in case, to make sure nothing was wrong and my keys was locked to rest assured. I went up the stairs and saw my cat in his usual lie-down posture. But It was rare for him to be in that lie-down posture on hard floor so I found it a bit odd. Then he meowed very clearly. He usually meowed faintly so I was bit surprised on that as well. Then he tried to stand up and I saw him dragging his behind legs. Like he couldn’t put any power there.
That was when I went blank. Obviously something was happening, something not good.
I googled “animal emergency hospital”, I didn’t even look at the location, I just called the first one that came up hoping they’d offer some guidance. I told them the symptoms and they said to bring him in. Luckily they were in fact the most close-by emergency hospital, 10min drive. I quickly gathered required items and tried to go to the vet ASAP. As I went out, I actually saw a racoon in front of the garage door and that was the only entrance. It took me good few minutes to make this racoon move away by fringing the long pole I found in the house since I couldn’t afford to get hurt now and I wasn’t scary enough for them to move away by just me approaching.
While I was driving, I was talking to my cat who was constantly meowing that its going to be okay. That the doctors will cure your pain soon. I knew about blood clots a bit since I researched some when he was diagnosed with faint heart murmur just 4 month before and it did rise in my mind few times. But I was hoping that it could have been just a broken leg, or even if blood clot, it was be going to be okay in the end.
I got in, luckily it seemed like I was the only patient at that time.
The vets quickly took my cat while I talked about his symptoms, time passed.
I think it wasn’t even 10minutes, I got called in and I was told that he was not in a good state, that it is called ATE(saddle thrombus) and that, they could try the treatment but chances are rare and that they’d recommend letting him go since saddle thrombus causes lots of pain to the cat. Doctors explained and let me touch his cold behind legs, showed me that no blood came out and the cat not even reacting when the doctor cut the nails from the origin. I couldn’t stop crying, I somehow still had hope that I can bring him back home once we visit the vet. I knew good-bye was going to happen since he had a heart murmur, but I thought it would be more gradual. Or at least in few years times, just not this sudden. He was fine few hours ago. I did not imagine I would say good-bye, today.
My heart was leaning more on the side of euthanasia, because I knew he is super bad with car rides. I was not sure how much more of that he can handle with these kinds of underlying condition even if he healed. Also he was meowing constantly even after pain killers, which seemed to support the doctor’s point that he was in sever pain. I thought about a treatment a bit, but the percentage the doctor showed me on some google was under 1% (I cant recall where this was, and the exact number….just looked like very unlikely percentage) and if it was going to be that low, I didn’t think it’d be worth to endure the pain much longer. Also, I had churu with me but even when I bringed it close to him, he licked once but didnt lick afterwords even though its favourite snack, and I thought if he was in that much pain, it was likely better to let him go. So I chose euthanasia. I called my parents who was away travelling, to let them know that this was going to happen. My mom who loved the cat even more so than me, was crying really hard over the phone. The doctors told me I have to choose what to do about ashes and paw prints beforehand as a procedure, at then I just chose by instinct since I didnt have a place to spare my thoughts on which is better.
I gave him pats and hugs, and eventually I could feel that he started to have shorter breathing so I called in the doctors, and it happened while I was petting him on the head, telling that I loved you and to have a good night sleep. The last moment happened really quickly, sedation shot, then right after, the final injection. It was just a minute or so. I did see that that after sedation, for the short moment till he passed away, he started licking around his mouth with his tongue as if he noticed there was churu in front of him just now, now that pain was gone. I’m not sure if it was a reflex but I hope that’s what happened. That he figured the scent (or maybe there was bit that touched around his mouse when i bringed it close to him) and he went into sleep dreaming eating his favourite snack of churu.
I made my payment, I hugged him one last time after he went to sleep. I’ve heard about human body feeling heavy when they have passed away and likewise, he felt much heavier with full weight of his body. I said good-bye, leaving the body to the doctors care and went back home with empty carriers and alone in the car. It was 1:30AM when I left the emergency hospital. The house was as-is as I left, just without the cat. I saw that he had last eaten up his wet food, like any other usual day.
After some time, I had the time to think, and wondered if I made the right decision. Since it happened so quickly, I was not sure if I thought enough before making the decision or if I rushed it through. I felt like partially, I chose it because I didn't want to continue so the hardship would just ended there for both me and him. But maybe he wanted to live longer even with the pain, and was happy if he could eat his food, since he was a happy boy as long as there was food. Or maybe he was happy with his life so far and would say no to continuing life with more pain. Obviously, no one knows. I researched about saddle thrombus and I saw some better statistics about short term recovery and I do wonder if I would have chosen a different decision to treat him if I was presented with those stats back then. Hoping for the chance for him to be back with us even if relatively short time. But then again, there is always another side of the success story that of the people that choose treatment, by stats, around two-in-one, those cats cant make it and the owner might or might not be able to make it for their last moments. Considering my cat was already diagnosed with heart murmur and having saddle thrombus affect both his behind legs, I suspect the chances would have been lower than those of the average stats, but who knows what % that was.
So I feel like I did the right thing (or trying to convince myself), for at least, I was able to be with him for his last minute and I was the only one in the family that had to make this decision. But time to time I wonder if I had made the other choice, maybe I was able to bring him back home, give all the pats and attention, and give enough time for my other family to say good-bye and he would pass away at home where he would be much more comfortable. I dont have anything against the doctors though, everyone was sympathetic to me and tried to assure me when I made the decision. They told me that even if I noticed or brought him in sooner, it would not have made the situation better and that there was nothing i could do more than I did. It really is just a casual wonder, and a question I will never know. Maybe he might have made the miracle or not, all was a possibility but we can only know one outcome.
It’s been just 2 days or like day and a half.
I still cry time to time but I still get hungry, feel that food tastes yummy, and I still laugh at funny videos. I can still do chores and I still feel excited for upcoming future events. I know that like that, the sadness will eventually ease and when the time comes, I can look back on my cute cat like any other good-old memory. I will just remember the lovely presence and how adorable grand-pa he was.
But I still, wish you were here.
I wish I can see you one last time, flopping your stomach, and I would lay beside to pet you, and you would capture my arm with your arms like you just dont want to let me go. I know you didn’t really choose and I also never thought you were that smart one, but I wonder if you chose the timing for me. Choosing when I’m the only one at house and avoided the morning and afternoon so I enjoyed my day without any worries. If you did, then I guess that means you were really smarter and a kinder cat.
You know, If I knew that day was going to be the day for you, I would have petted you all day long or at least till you said no more and I would have given you wet food, not just a bit but a one full can. I would have even given you snacks if you wanted to. The really one regret I have is that, I didn’t give much attention to you that day. I know you can never know ahead, but I wish I was able to. Then I would have done all that.
But I just assumed there was going to be another day with you.
I miss having you around.
I still feel like you might be sleeping somewhere in the house and I keep checking your favourite spots to let it sink in that you are no longer here and you ever wont be. It was just short 2 year with out of your 10 years since we took care of your after the original owner but I hope you enjoyed having us as a company.
Eat lots of your favourite food, enjoy sleeping and gets lots of cuddles wherever you are now! like how you just purred to literally anyone who gave rubs ; )
I wish you could have stayed with us longer but it was a great 2 years having you around.
I hope it was the same for you.
And next time, live healthy a bit longer, okay?
....and I think that is it. Thanks for anyone if you have been reading this extra-long post so far.
It is really more of my personal note since it always helped me cope by writing down what I felt and experienced. And it also made me sooth a bit to see other people’s experience with saddle thrombus to understand that I was not alone in this and that this is really all-of the sudden, and there wasn’t anything we could have done to make the situation better. I hope my post will someday help someone like it did for me. And if anyone recently got their cat diagnosed with heart condition, don't over think it, but give a thought on what you want to do with ashes, paw prints, in a case it happens, so you do not have to decide everything last minute like I did.
I want to send hugs to anyone who lost their important family member like me,
and I pray that every other cat in the world can live a bit longer to be with their family
Please give extra pets to your cat instead of me if you have one. I’m sure they’d love that.
Thank you Chi, Will Always Love you!
I also lost my Sybil this way and it was awful. It’s so hard to make the decisions. She had a long life, she was almost 18 and had severe chf/ chm…they said she would not survive long even with treatment. She did not seem to be in severe pain the way a lot of cats are thankfully.
