Successful Reintroductions?

[katiekat89]

Hi!

I have posted about my cats Eleanor & Theodore before. They have lived well together for nearly 2 years but recently began fighting more intensely with Theo bullying Eleanor and her overreacting. I think the next step is going to be trying a complete reintroduction, but I just feel sort of skeptical about it, since they eat together right now and sometimes even still snuggle. I am hoping to hear some success stories of re introductions between cats who used to get along then for whatever reason started fighting.

thanks!

 

[iPappy]

Hi,
Have the cats had a vet visit, particularly Eleanor? I would get Theo looked at too. Have they drawn any blood or done damage to one another?
There are four cats that live at my work, and one male will start bullying a female who has a history of urinary cystitis if she starts having symptoms subtle enough that I don't even notice them. Like your two, one minute he's bullying her, and the next moment they are snuggled side by side on the couch in front of the fireplace completely content. IDK why he does it, but whenever she's treated for it, the bullying stops. (Actually, he lit into her over nothing a few nights ago and she's been on her treatments for a few days and there have been no issues between the two since then.)

 

[katiekat89]

Hi,
Have the cats had a vet visit, particularly Eleanor? I would get Theo looked at too. Have they drawn any blood or done damage to one another?
There are four cats that live at my work, and one male will start bullying a female who has a history of urinary cystitis if she starts having symptoms subtle enough that I don't even notice them. Like your two, one minute he's bullying her, and the next moment they are snuggled side by side on the couch in front of the fireplace completely content. IDK why he does it, but whenever she's treated for it, the bullying stops. (Actually, he lit into her over nothing a few nights ago and she's been on her treatments for a few days and there have been no issues between the two since then.)

Hi! Theo had a vet visit last week and blood and urine were all clear. Eleanor went to the vet a few months ago and had blood work done and it was all normal. Her peeing/pooping seems normal right now too, though I suppose it couldn’t hurt to have her checked out too in case there is something going on that he is picking up on. Thankfully no blood has been drawn and no injuries. Theo will get tufts of El’s fur though. That’s interesting to hear about yours!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Cats absolutely pick up on changes in scents when another cat is ill. In fact, they pick up on the scent of ANY being in their household's changing scent when ill. And many, many cats have known that their human was pregnant long before that human even suspected it. They can apparently smell the changing hormonal levels! Do get Eleanor rechecked, just to make sure.

 

[iPappy]

Is it possible that Eleanor is very, very subtly baiting him? Sometimes things like staring, or positioning themselves a certain way over food/toys, or "guarding" their favorite sleeping area can set the other cat off. I honestly feel like my now bullied female started the whole thing, because she spent the early part of her life being territorial herself. I think she "claimed" everything and the boys just got sick of it. It's not fun or acceptable.
If all checks out at the vet, try to really observe them and see if you notice any body language that happens before a fight breaks out.
Two of my house cats are litter mates and they will occasionally get into it, but it never lasts and I hope it never does!

 

[maggie101]

My guess is they grew up. More territorial

 

[katiekat89]

Is it possible that Eleanor is very, very subtly baiting him? Sometimes things like staring, or positioning themselves a certain way over food/toys, or "guarding" their favorite sleeping area can set the other cat off. I honestly feel like my now bullied female started the whole thing, because she spent the early part of her life being territorial herself. I think she "claimed" everything and the boys just got sick of it. It's not fun or acceptable.
If all checks out at the vet, try to really observe them and see if you notice any body language that happens before a fight breaks out.
Two of my house cats are litter mates and they will occasionally get into it, but it never lasts and I hope it never does!

I do feel like she “baits” him a little sometimes. She gets overly defensive (hissing/growling/swatting) when he gets near her - but only sometimes. And then I feel like she just ACTS so nervous and skittish around him that it like, triggers him to react even more aggressively. But she’ll then sometimes go to jump up on top of something to get away, and then she’ll come down just a few minutes later - or if he goes into another room, sometimes she’ll follow. But I don’t know what to do about any of that. The past two nights there haven’t been a ton of fights per se but Theo has been stalking her badly. I can distract him for a minute or two and then he goes back to it. He’s on gabapentin right now and it’s only seeming to make him sleepy but not actually helping the behavior. I am also wondering if eleanor is the one who should be on an anti anxiety med. it’s so hard to tell.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If she is following him around, you're fine, and they are fine. You don't need to worry unless she goes into hiding. Don't overthink this. They snit at each other. And it almost sounds as if they may both be enjoying this a little bit.

 

[NekoM]

I’m a bit of a nerd and read a lot of medical studies. Something I read a while back is female cats produce an attractant pheromone in their urine, and cystitis amplifies the smell of the pheromone. So unwittingly she’s attracting the male big time, they then have a little love affair and it’s all over. A bit like the old movie ‘Brief Encounter’ lol

 

[Alldara]

My late cat was also the 'victim' but the instigator. When she thought we weren't looking she would bite him or swat him and then run away and cry when he responded. After a lay-off, my wife caught her in the act of chasing him and attempting to bite his rump repeatedly.

Nobel is much more confident now, even living with two rambunctious boys, one of which regularly attempts to sit on him.

If she is very nervous, you could call and ask the vet about trying her on the medication instead. Her anxiety could trigger his.

To help YOU relax I would suggest a partial reintroduction. That is, separating them for part of the day. Get some one-on-one play time in with both of them during that period. Even just 10 or 15 minutes each.

I don't personally subscribe to the "let it happen" method. I don't like to let the relationship breakdown progress too far.

 

[klunick]

January 2022, Boone and Gracie got into a huge fight and pretty much wanted to kill each other. We have the luxury of a house with several floors so Gracie got shut down on the first floor and Boone was on the second floor. My husband spends the majority of his time on the first floor so Gracie had plenty of company. We would try to open the door between them but hissing would soon start. Took about 6 months before things were back to normal.

That ended up being short lived and another fight broke out about two months later and they were separated again. Luckily, it only took two weeks before things were ok again. So far... so good.

The cats work on their timeline, not yours unfortunately. I also have those Feliway diffusers on each floor of the house. No idea if they work but I'm too superstitious to not keep it up to find out.