Stuck on if to get my cat a friend.... work situtation

[Ocean Planet]

The quick story is that I have a 6 year old bengal cat. When I moved into my place years ago I was in a relationship and we had 4 cats total together. The relationship didn't work, she left and took her one cat. I had to say bye to one cat in 2020 and one in 2021 (they lived to be 17). I was going to keep my current guy as an only cat but now I'm starting to wonder if I should get him a buddy since he was around all these other cats the first years of his life. It's been almost 5 months since he has had someone.

He does OK now. For example, he is not destructive to the house. But when I watch him on camera during the day, he does look around and seem bored.... at times. He doesn't cry during the day that I can hear on camera either. I leave toys around and even leave some music going, sometimes an internet channel with voices playing while I'm gone. But maybe I'm just fooling myself and hurting him by not having another kitty to engage with... I don't know.

My hesitation is that I work in an office all week, so I'm gone 9 hours a day. Nobody will be here to monitor the introduction period, so I guess the only choice is locking the new cat in a bedroom all day and night. So they'd only get interaction 4 hours in the evening during the week. At least until they become friends. That is my biggest hurdle. Is that bad? Should I let it stop this idea? I also have the dread of what if it backfires and they never like each other? I'd hate to mentally damage either cat if it doesn't work out. Like I said, my biggest hold back is that I'm at work all day.... I'd be very appreciative of any opinions anyone could share

(Oh, and I'm talking about getting a cat in the same age range, so 4 to 6 years old. Not a kitten. I don't want to start that sort of age gap.)

 

[ArtNJ]

Provided you have enough space to isolate them for as long as it takes, it should be ok.

A kitten would be an easier intro with friendship being more likely than with another adult. With another adult, it would be very important to match activity and personality, and even then if you get unlucky the introduction could take a while. Either way, friendship isn't a guarranty, but the odds are better with a kitten.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Ocean Planet]

Thanks! It is a single family home so should be OK on the amount of room. However, there is no good way to "half" the house up though if that makes sense. So new cat would have to be in a bedroom at the least until things work out.

 

[vince]

A bedroom isn't that bad. I kept my cats that were in the introduction protocol in a 8 1/2' x 14' bedroom, and they both did well. If it's small, you can increase the effective size by including high spots like a cat shelf or cat tree. I didn't, but my spare bedroom has a lot of furniture and other stuff in there, so they had lots of things to climb on.

I used to work longer days, maybe 10 hours or so, and the cats did fine until I retired.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Thanks! It is a single family home so should be OK on the amount of room. However, there is no good way to "half" the house up though if that makes sense. So new cat would have to be in a bedroom at the least until things work out.

Yes. Experts generally recommend keeping the new cat in a separate room with all his or her wants and needs for up to two weeks anyway, gradually allowing sightings and sniffs through a crack in the door and increasing the time until they are together. You will find cat introduction tutuorials and information here on TCS, on Jackson Galaxy's YouTube videos, and in cat behaviorists' writings and videos. And when you can't build out, build up, as vince said. Cat trees and towers, window perches, shelves...the possibilities are endless and you can utilize your own furniture and/or cat-specific furniture.

 

[Zara12345]

The quick story is that I have a 6 year old bengal cat. When I moved into my place years ago I was in a relationship and we had 4 cats total together. The relationship didn't work, she left and took her one cat. I had to say bye to one cat in 2020 and one in 2021 (they lived to be 17). I was going to keep my current guy as an only cat but now I'm starting to wonder if I should get him a buddy since he was around all these other cats the first years of his life. It's been almost 5 months since he has had someone.

He does OK now. For example, he is not destructive to the house. But when I watch him on camera during the day, he does look around and seem bored.... at times. He doesn't cry during the day that I can hear on camera either. I leave toys around and even leave some music going, sometimes an internet channel with voices playing while I'm gone. But maybe I'm just fooling myself and hurting him by not having another kitty to engage with... I don't know.

My hesitation is that I work in an office all week, so I'm gone 9 hours a day. Nobody will be here to monitor the introduction period, so I guess the only choice is locking the new cat in a bedroom all day and night. So they'd only get interaction 4 hours in the evening during the week. At least until they become friends. That is my biggest hurdle. Is that bad? Should I let it stop this idea? I also have the dread of what if it backfires and they never like each other? I'd hate to mentally damage either cat if it doesn't work out. Like I said, my biggest hold back is that I'm at work all day.... I'd be very appreciative of any opinions anyone could share

(Oh, and I'm talking about getting a cat in the same age range, so 4 to 6 years old. Not a kitten. I don't want to start that sort of age gap.)

It's a great idea to get your cat a companion, especially because he was so used to being around other cats. And eventhough cats can live solitary lives, they are much happier with a companion although sometimes they don't know it themselves and often show aggression in the presence of stranger cats. Don't let your work situation stop you from getting another cat; typically they would have to be separated for 3 weeks or so before they are allowed to see eachother so that should be plenty of enough time for them to get accustomed to eachothers scents. And I have seen people living with several cats in much smaller apartments and getting a new one almost always works out in their favour.

 

[misty8723]

Losing loved ones is so difficult, but I've always believed that every being deserves to have another of the same species to interact with. So from the start we've always had two.

In 2005, we adopted Cynthia and Swanie together. They became really, really close. We lost Cindy first, and even though we were all still grieving we found a really sweet girl named Darcy. Swanie and Darcy were bonding really well with no drama (both very laid back kitties) when Darcy got FIP and we lost her after only a few months. She was the most perfect cat ever, but we still needed a friend for Swanie, so we came home with Cricket. They got along really well, although Cricket is not a cuddler and Swanie had a lot of medical issues (most of which we didn't know about sadly, despite him having regular vet visits) so he didn't want to wrestle or play. Swanie was my heart cat, my soul mate. Losing him was the most devasting of all. But Cricket needed a friend. We were introducted to Austin, who is an extremely laid back boy, so we took a chance with him.

When we were introducing Cricket to Austin, we kept Austin in the bedroom exclusively for about 2 weeks. For a good part of it we put up baby gates during the day so they could hopefully get to know each other. Initially, Cricket had her tail in a twist, sitting outside the door hissing and growling. she is a tortie and a bit high strung. Austin pretty much just said "whatever, chick." After about two weeks, Cricket calmed down and we were able to have supervised visits. It's worked out, they're good friends. Cricket is still not a cuddler, but she now has someone to wrestle with and chase around the house. At first I was mourning Swanie so much (his passing was sudden, no time to prepare) I didn't want to bond with Austin. Austin had other ideas, and we have become very close.

I guess my point is, even if you aren't home during the day, if you go through the introduction process correctly, things should work out fine. You could set up a cat cam to get an idea what's going on. I should qualify that not all cats want to be with another cat. We had one hasty decision right after we lost Cindy that just didn't work out. We ended up with an 8 pound cat who was really sweet and loving to us and terrorized 25 pound Swanie so he would not come out of the closet. We were extremely fortunate to have found the wonderful resuce where I now volunteer, and were able to take her back and allow her to find a better situation for her with someone who wanted an only cat. It was not easy taking her back, both husband and I were in tears, but it was the best for all of us, and she found someone who thought she was the "perfect cat."

Good luck!

 

[Ocean Planet]

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. I've read them all and appreciate the insight! Thanks for the timeline of your cats misty8723 . I do have cameras that I can keep an eye on things when I'm at work, so great idea. I think I'm going to slowly dive into this and I just need to trust that wherever I can find one, via shelter/adoption/rescue, that they take me seriously that I need a cat who is social with other cats. I've seen some online that say 'must be only cat' and like that they disclaim that so I can avoid. I guess the worst that could happen is if things don't go well or end up to violent, I'd just have to re-home the new cat again. That's not the preferred way and I hope that is rare but you see some challenging stories on the internet.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I am so very sorry for your losses, misty8723 -- and I have lost two loved ones to FIP so I have a personal connection to that particular kind of sorrow.
O Ocean Planet I had an amazing good fortune when we adopted Tarifa. We had just lost a beloved kitten to wet-form FIP at just shy of 3 months. It was a terrible shock to us. My policy has always been that I adopt another cat in need after a loss. So I called a friend who did rescue, and adoptions out of our local Petco, telling her I needed someone who could fit in with a multicat family. Right away, she told me about Tar. I arranged to meet her. She was older than I'd been thinking of, at 11 months, and I'd really never met a tortoiseshell before! but I knew she needed a loving permanent home and came highly recommended, so I signed the papers and paid the adoption fee and home she came.
We had almost 18 wonderful years together. And she never met a soul she didn't love.

 

[misty8723]

I am so very sorry for your losses, misty8723 -- and I have lost two loved ones to FIP so I have a personal connection to that particular kind of sorrow.

I'm so sorry, no kitten should have to go through that.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I'm so sorry, no kitten should have to go through that.

Thank you. We had just gotten her her first vet check and kitten innocs. At that time, because I had lost my beloved Sun to dry-form FIP, I believed in getting the vax. So we did. She developed symptoms right away after that, succumbing less than 2 weeks later, the night before we were going to take her back in. I was heartbroken. No more FIP vax after that. Never again.

 

[misty8723]

Thank you. We had just gotten her her first vet check and kitten innocs. At that time, because I had lost my beloved Sun to dry-form FIP, I believed in getting the vax. So we did. She developed symptoms right away after that, succumbing less than 2 weeks later, the night before we were going to take her back in. I was heartbroken. No more FIP vax after that. Never again.

We got Darcy when she was sometime between 6 month and 1 year (I think), from a resuce. She was not given the FIP vax, so that didn't cause it. We had her a few months and one day she was hiding under the bed. I thought she had a kitty cold, so we took her to the vet, but her temperature was like 105 or something awful like that. Many tests later to rule out other things and withdrawing fluid from her stomach proved the only thing it could be was FIP. I knew nothing about it at the time, now I do. We got medicine (steroids? I really can't remember) and special food to help her not lose weight, had to syringe feed. She was so good, usually all I had to do was put a little on her tongue and she would eat on her own. She also ate some kind of catnip treat, and she got as much of those as she wanted. We did what we could to give her however much quality time she could have. We didn't have her long, but I loved her so much.

 

[tarasgirl06]

We got Darcy when she was sometime between 6 month and 1 year (I think), from a resuce. She was not given the FIP vax, so that didn't cause it. We had her a few months and one day she was hiding under the bed. I thought she had a kitty cold, so we took her to the vet, but her temperature was like 105 or something awful like that. Many tests later to rule out other things and withdrawing fluid from her stomach proved the only thing it could be was FIP. I knew nothing about it at the time, now I do. We got medicine (steroids? I really can't remember) and special food to help her not lose weight, had to syringe feed. She was so good, usually all I had to do was put a little on her tongue and she would eat on her own. She also ate some kind of catnip treat, and she got as much of those as she wanted. We did what we could to give her however much quality time she could have. We didn't have her long, but I loved her so much.

I am so very sorry for your loss of Darcy! The symptoms and treatment you write of are very familiar to me. Of course we were not even given the time to get our precious baby in for diagnosis and treatment; it all happened so suddenly after the vax, which has been implicated in contracting FIP and which many warn against. At that time, this was not widely known and it was not known to me at all. With Sun, who was diagnosed with dry-form, steroids were part of his treatment, as was B-12 and Immunoregulin. His appetite was really quite good up until almost the last.

 

[Saikachu]

The quick story is that I have a 6 year old bengal cat. When I moved into my place years ago I was in a relationship and we had 4 cats total together. The relationship didn't work, she left and took her one cat. I had to say bye to one cat in 2020 and one in 2021 (they lived to be 17). I was going to keep my current guy as an only cat but now I'm starting to wonder if I should get him a buddy since he was around all these other cats the first years of his life. It's been almost 5 months since he has had someone.

He does OK now. For example, he is not destructive to the house. But when I watch him on camera during the day, he does look around and seem bored.... at times. He doesn't cry during the day that I can hear on camera either. I leave toys around and even leave some music going, sometimes an internet channel with voices playing while I'm gone. But maybe I'm just fooling myself and hurting him by not having another kitty to engage with... I don't know.

My hesitation is that I work in an office all week, so I'm gone 9 hours a day. Nobody will be here to monitor the introduction period, so I guess the only choice is locking the new cat in a bedroom all day and night. So they'd only get interaction 4 hours in the evening during the week. At least until they become friends. That is my biggest hurdle. Is that bad? Should I let it stop this idea? I also have the dread of what if it backfires and they never like each other? I'd hate to mentally damage either cat if it doesn't work out. Like I said, my biggest hold back is that I'm at work all day.... I'd be very appreciative of any opinions anyone could share

(Oh, and I'm talking about getting a cat in the same age range, so 4 to 6 years old. Not a kitten. I don't want to start that sort of age gap.)

I highly recommend you getting your cat another companion,he must be feeling lonely,imagine you have a lot of friends for years and suddenly you got none,it would be lonely right? You are an amazing owner to take care of him and his mental health,animals do get lonely and most of the time it would go unnoticed how lonely they have been feeling until they get another cat friend or companion,do get him a nice active playful adult cat and if any of your trusted friend could help you to look after them then do ask for their help,or pay them a lil,you can also leave your 2 cats to your friend or family's house for a few days while you are at work they look after them while the cats get used to each other. Or you can leave them at smth like a cat care centre if there is one in your area,keep us updated,best of luck

 

[Ocean Planet]

Its been a week and I still want to get my kitty a friend but it is stressing me out to plan it. I think I've been reading too many of the bad stories. ha ha.

I've decided it's probably better to get another boy with my boy. Does anyone have advice on who it would be better to work with on this? A shelter vs. a rescue? Just in case I run into problems that can't be solved. Maybe I'm looking into this too much. It was easier to introduce cats in the past when someone else was home all day....

 

[ArtNJ]

Your still planning another cat of around the same age? I'd go at least a bit younger -- definitely do not go much older than your cat, since cats get less adaptible as they age.

You can't fully trust what a shelter or even a foster home tells you about a prospective adoptee no matter how well intentioned or certain they are. A cat's behavior is very much tied to the situation they are in, so we have seen a lot of folks get told something, and once they get the cat home, things are very different. So you do want to make sure you can take back the cat if things look like they will be considerably more difficult than average.

Rescues are usually private organizations while shelters are government funded, and rescues are accordingly typically nicer than shelters, often having cats in foster homes rather than kennels. Rescues also tend to be persnickety about who can adopt, with their application processes sometimes being burdensome and taking a while. They may or may not charge more, to weed out people that aren't serious. You can sometimes find rescues that focus on specific types of animals your interested in, and if you like you could look for a bengal rescue though I suspect they are rare. You should be able to return a pet to either a shelter or recue, but certainly ask.

 

[Ocean Planet]

Awesome, thanks for the details ArtNJ. Yes, I was thinking a little younger, like 4-5 years old to keep up with a 6 year old bengal.

Funny thing happened yesterday, I was getting ready to leave for work and a stray cat came to my kitchen sliding door. My cat went meowing like crazy up to it and puffed his tail up real big, but didn't hiss or arch his back. The stray cat swatted at the door and ran away though.

My current cat is very skittish and afraid so I don't think he'd start fights, but just want to be playful. I guess nothing is guaranteed and I just have to try. Sounds like a rescue may be a good first start.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Awesome, thanks for the details ArtNJ. Yes, I was thinking a little younger, like 4-5 years old to keep up with a 6 year old bengal.

Funny thing happened yesterday, I was getting ready to leave for work and a stray cat came to my kitchen sliding door. My cat went meowing like crazy up to it and puffed his tail up real big, but didn't hiss or arch his back. The stray cat swatted at the door and ran away though.

My current cat is very skittish and afraid so I don't think he'd start fights, but just want to be playful. I guess nothing is guaranteed and I just have to try. Sounds like a rescue may be a good first start.

*I like the way you think!* and may that little cat find safe haven and love!