Sticky Situation

[leahbasford]

Hello all! I have a rather unique situation (maybe) that I cannot find much help with online. I have read countless articles and posts about how to introduce cats. However, I haven't found any that provide advice on introducing TWO new cats. And these two cats are at very different stages of comfort. Here is the situation:

I have lived with my cat for about 4 years now, she is a female and the only cat in the house. She's around 5 years old. My boyfriend just moved in with us, and he brought with him his two male cats, brothers, about 8 years old. I live in a townhouse so space is limited and the two males are separated into the extra bedroom. One of these males is curious and ready to come out and wants to meet my female (she does not want to meet him). The other male will not come out from under the bed for more than a minute at a time. He does not feel safe enough yet out from under the bed to eat, drink, or use the bathroom either. So that has all been going on under the bed.

My cat, who I have never heard hiss before, growls and hisses at the door where they are. It is made worse since the scent from behind the door is mostly urine (I'm doing my best to clean it up) so she gets very territorial.

Anyway, my main question is, how do I start the introduction process with one cat (switching rooms and all that for scent sharing) when the other cat will not get out from under the bed? Are there other options that would work instead? And when should I begin the process of introducing the one who is ready? My cat is still showing signs of aggression and I'm not sure how to make her comfortable enough to stop.

Any advice will be helpful, they are all breaking my heart.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi! I think you are going to have to get new cat #2 to be much more comfortable in his new home before you can proceed. If the two new cats are buddies, starting an intro with your resident girl with just one of these cats would seem to me it could make matters worse for the cat that is hiding. See if you can come up with some ideas from these articles about how to first get the hiding cat more comfortable.

Bringing Home A New Cat – The Complete Guide – Cat Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – Cat Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – Cat Articles

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – Cat Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles
Introducing Cats To Cats – Cat Articles

You can try Vetoquinol "The Equalizer" for cleaning urine smell/stains from carpeting/non-washable rugs. I have found it to be successful and it doesn't require saturation, hence less drying time. For washable items as well as hard surfaces, including wood, you can try Fizzion or SCOE10x.

 

[ArtNJ]

Well you didn't say how long its been, but I think you should do nothing else until the situation improves on both sides of the door. Just give it more time, in other words.

Here is my philosophy on introductions -- its mostly about using time without anything bad happening to reduce stress levels. So stuff like site swapping and feeding on opposite sides of the door is a double edged thing. On the one hand, there is logic to these steps. On the other, they can increase stress, when there is still a lot of stress from the prior steps. Time without anything bad happening is already working for you -- you aren't ready to increase the stress level yet.

To put my philosophy in other ways, do you know the psychological theory of gradual desensitization? This is a method to deal with phobias, like fear of spiders. They have you start by envisioning a spider. Then when that doesn't reduce you to a gibbering mess, they play a nature movie with a single spider just being chill. If you get to where you are ok with that, maybe they bring in a spider in a cage several feet away from you. When you stop screaming in terror, they maybe move on to something a bit more confrontational. And so on. Move on too soon and you are such a nervous wreck that the process is broken and you might be more afraid than ever. Does my analogy to cat intros make sense? The steps take as long as they take.

 

[leahbasford]

Hi! I think you are going to have to get new cat #2 to be much more comfortable in his new home before you can proceed. If the two new cats are buddies, starting an intro with your resident girl with just one of these cats would seem to me it could make matters worse for the cat that is hiding. See if you can come up with some ideas from these articles about how to first get the hiding cat more comfortable.

Bringing Home A New Cat – The Complete Guide – Cat Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – Cat Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – Cat Articles

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – Cat Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles
Introducing Cats To Cats – Cat Articles

You can try Vetoquinol "The Equalizer" for cleaning urine smell/stains from carpeting/non-washable rugs. I have found it to be successful and it doesn't require saturation, hence less drying time. For washable items as well as hard surfaces, including wood, you can try Fizzion or SCOE10x.

Thank you so much for the advice!

 

[leahbasford]

Well you didn't say how long its been, but I think you should do nothing else until the situation improves on both sides of the door. Just give it more time, in other words.

Here is my philosophy on introductions -- its mostly about using time without anything bad happening to reduce stress levels. So stuff like site swapping and feeding on opposite sides of the door is a double edged thing. On the one hand, there is logic to these steps. On the other, they can increase stress, when there is still a lot of stress from the prior steps. Time without anything bad happening is already working for you -- you aren't ready to increase the stress level yet.

To put my philosophy in other ways, do you know the psychological theory of gradual desensitization? This is a method to deal with phobias, like fear of spiders. They have you start by envisioning a spider. Then when that doesn't reduce you to a gibbering mess, they play a nature movie with a single spider just being chill. If you get to where you are ok with that, maybe they bring in a spider in a cage several feet away from you. When you stop screaming in terror, they maybe move on to something a bit more confrontational. And so on. Move on too soon and you are such a nervous wreck that the process is broken and you might be more afraid than ever. Does my analogy to cat intros make sense? The steps take as long as they take.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Do keep us posted, will you?!?!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
I personally think your focus should be the cleaning first and foremost, (keep an eye on your resident cats' litter box habits too).

Then next, loving a lot on your resident cat and friendly new cat.

Let time, as mentioned, sitting on the floor with him but not pressuring him by looking at him or trying to pull him out, maybe a calming product as mentioned and a pleasant serene calm atmosphere, help frightened kitty. This includes greatly lowering your stress levels by whatever means.

they are all breaking my heart.

They're with you, safe, fed, sheltered and loved. You don't want to or need to feel rushed or pressured . Use chamomile tea, exercise, meditation, whatever works for you to find that centered balanced place, and a lot of things will happen naturally.

 

[cat nap]

...
I have lived with my cat for about 4 years now, she is a female and the only cat in the house. She's around 5 years old. My boyfriend just moved in with us, and he brought with him his two male cats, brothers, about 8 years old. I live in a townhouse so space is limited and the two males are separated into the extra bedroom. One of these males is curious and ready to come out and wants to meet my female (she does not want to meet him). The other male will not come out from under the bed for more than a minute at a time. He does not feel safe enough yet out from under the bed to eat, drink, or use the bathroom either. So that has all been going on under the bed.

My cat, who I have never heard hiss before, growls and hisses at the door where they are. It is made worse since the scent from behind the door is mostly urine (I'm doing my best to clean it up) so she gets very territorial.

Anyway, my main question is, how do I start the introduction process with one cat (switching rooms and all that for scent sharing) when the other cat will not get out from under the bed? Are there other options that would work instead? And when should I begin the process of introducing the one who is ready? My cat is still showing signs of aggression and I'm not sure how to make her comfortable enough to stop.

Any advice will be helpful, they are all breaking my heart.

Hi L leahbasford ...I think those Articles that FeebysOwner posted above are very helpful in laying out a plan for your cat introductions.
If you can divide your cat intros into separate parts...then that will help you formulate a plan, and stay on course...by observing and giving each cat plenty of time to adjust.

The idea is to go 'at the slowest cat's pace'...however since you will be introducing 3 cats...then treat it like 2 separate introductions.
(You may have to do 3....but only if your boyfriend's cats are not getting along. I'm hoping that they are.)

A) Say for example, you begin the process with your female cat and the male that is ready.
Then there is nothing wrong with doing this introduction, in the normal way, with all the steps involved.
I use the '5 Senses Method'...which is pretty much similar to The Cat Site Article, to let the cats first: hear, smell, taste...then see, and touch.

B) (At the same time, you'll be working on getting the more timid male comfortable in his new surroundings, and out from under the bed. He will be basically learning to accept his new home(the room)...which may take anywhere from 1-2 weeks).
With him, you will probably have to set aside time to read to him, talk to him, let him hear your voice, and your boyfriend will also have to calmly sit with him...and not force him to come out, but just assure him,...that all is good.

Before he made the move...was he playful with his other male cat friend?
Does he like treats, and playing?

My cat, who I have never heard hiss before, growls and hisses at the door where they are. It is made worse since the scent from behind the door is mostly urine (I'm doing my best to clean it up) so she gets very territorial.

Could you perhaps put some more litter boxes in the male cats' room. They don't have to be real litter boxes...you can use large plastic storage boxes, tote boxes, or plastic under-bed boxes. Whatever works to prevent the male cats from urinating on the carpet.

Do you think that maybe the male cats are 'spray marking' the new territory?
Or do you think that they are just having accidents outside their litter boxes?

I would suggest getting a 'black light' to make sure that you are cleaning up all the urine marks.
You can buy 'black lights' on amazon, or some hardware stores...(I bought mine at home depot.)
(Just remember that black lights will pick up all biologicals...like vomit, too, and also show lint...which i have no idea why.)
They are good to use in the case where you think that the male cats may be 'spray marking the walls' as well...since you'd have to clean this up with an enzymatic cleaner/urine remover, too.
(I think that FeebysOwner mentioned some good ones in their first post.)
How To Remove Cat Urine – Cat Articles
How To Solve Litterbox Problems In Cats: The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles

What your female cat is doing by hissing and growling is totally normal, because her territory is being invaded by these 'newcomers'...but she will come to accept them, over time, and with your help...if you begin the intros...using food, treats, and play.
Basically you're just going to be lessening all the cats' 'fight or flight' responses, lessening their fear...and building up their confidence with food, play, and treats.

I know you said that space is limited, but can your place be divided into different rooms...or different areas...that can be partitioned off with baby gates, storage screens, or screen door/mesh?
If you can use different zones in your home, then that will help in getting all the cats eventually used to the entire area.
There are some more ideas in this thread, about barriers:
https://thecatsite.com/threads/door-blockade-for-cats-getting-to-know-each-other.406100

I know I overloaded you with a lot of information.
So just take your time, and read when you feel like it. You don't have to do it all at once.
Just remember that each day gets easier, with cat introductions...and by observing your cats, you'll get to know their cues, as to when to go on to the next steps in the process.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Say for example, you begin the process with your female cat and the male that is ready... (At the same time, you'll be working on getting the more timid male comfortable in his new surroundings, and out from under the bed. He will be basically learning to accept his new home(the room).

I live in a townhouse so space is limited and the two males are separated into the extra bedroom.

If I understand L leahbasford correctly, there is only one extra bedroom which the two male cats are sharing. I am not sure how one would start intros with the female and one male while the other male is hiding under the bed - without it impacting/involving the hiding cat, and making him even further upset. Partitioning off part of that room is still going to have an affect on the hiding cat. Even if there was another room available, or another way to segregate space, I don't think it would be a good idea to separate the two males from one another until the hiding cat is more comfortable in his new home.

It is a truly sticky situation!

 

[cat nap]

If I understand L leahbasford correctly, there is only one extra bedroom which the two male cats are sharing. I am not sure how one would start intros with the female and one male while the other male is hiding under the bed - without it impacting/involving the hiding cat, and making him even further upset. Partitioning off part of that room is still going to have an affect on the hiding cat. Even if there was another room available, or another way to segregate space, I don't think it would be a good idea to separate the two males from one another until the hiding cat is more comfortable in his new home.

It is a truly sticky situation!

Oh, I see your point.
But I thought that the males were in the extra bedroom, while the female may have been in the master bedroom?

I was not thinking of partitioning off part of the male cats' room....but rather partitioning off a hallway, kitchen, living room etc.

The hiding cat has to be left alone...and in peace....until he is more confident and comfortable.
But the braver male, can be part of the introduction process....but you are right...only if other 'safe spaces' can be made.

Maybe if L leahbasford comes back....she will be able to answer the layout of the place...rooms...and spaces available.

FeebysOwner ...Why do you think that the two males have to remain in the same bedroom?

 

[leahbasford]

Hi!
I personally think your focus should be the cleaning first and foremost, (keep an eye on your resident cats' litter box habits too).

Then next, loving a lot on your resident cat and friendly new cat.

Let time, as mentioned, sitting on the floor with him but not pressuring him by looking at him or trying to pull him out, maybe a calming product as mentioned and a pleasant serene calm atmosphere, help frightened kitty. This includes greatly lowering your stress levels by whatever means.



They're with you, safe, fed, sheltered and loved. You don't want to or need to feel rushed or pressured . Use chamomile tea, exercise, meditation, whatever works for you to find that centered balanced place, and a lot of things will happen naturally.

Great advice! My resident girl is doing fine with her litter box habits. She just kind of goes about her business and forgets they're even up there.

 

[FeebysOwner]

...Why do you think that the two males have to remain in the same bedroom?

If the two cats are buddies, and get along well, then I figured the non-hiding male cat is serving as a bit of a support-system to the hiding cat. Until the hiding cat becomes more comfortable, I would personally hate to see them separated. They would have to be separated somehow for an intro process to start with the female, who I am guessing has full reign to the entire house since she is the resident cat and really shouldn't be confined to a smaller space if possible.

One thing we certainly need to ask L leahbasford is to give us their names (and some pics too)!!!!

 

[leahbasford]

Do keep us posted, will you?!?!

I will! Yesterday, my girl noticed the friendly male outside of her door, she saw his feet and his nose and she did not hiss or growl. She could have been in a treat coma but I'm hoping it was a step forward!

 

[leahbasford]

Hi L leahbasford ...I think those Articles that FeebysOwner posted above are very helpful in laying out a plan for your cat introductions.
If you can divide your cat intros into separate parts...then that will help you formulate a plan, and stay on course...by observing and giving each cat plenty of time to adjust.

The idea is to go 'at the slowest cat's pace'...however since you will be introducing 3 cats...then treat it like 2 separate introductions.
(You may have to do 3....but only if your boyfriend's cats are not getting along. I'm hoping that they are.)

A) Say for example, you begin the process with your female cat and the male that is ready.
Then there is nothing wrong with doing this introduction, in the normal way, with all the steps involved.
I use the '5 Senses Method'...which is pretty much similar to The Cat Site Article, to let the cats first: hear, smell, taste...then see, and touch.

B) (At the same time, you'll be working on getting the more timid male comfortable in his new surroundings, and out from under the bed. He will be basically learning to accept his new home(the room)...which may take anywhere from 1-2 weeks).
With him, you will probably have to set aside time to read to him, talk to him, let him hear your voice, and your boyfriend will also have to calmly sit with him...and not force him to come out, but just assure him,...that all is good.

Before he made the move...was he playful with his other male cat friend?
Does he like treats, and playing?

Could you perhaps put some more litter boxes in the male cats' room. They don't have to be real litter boxes...you can use large plastic storage boxes, tote boxes, or plastic under-bed boxes. Whatever works to prevent the male cats from urinating on the carpet.

Do you think that maybe the male cats are 'spray marking' the new territory?
Or do you think that they are just having accidents outside their litter boxes?

I would suggest getting a 'black light' to make sure that you are cleaning up all the urine marks.
You can buy 'black lights' on amazon, or some hardware stores...(I bought mine at home depot.)
(Just remember that black lights will pick up all biologicals...like vomit, too, and also show lint...which i have no idea why.)
They are good to use in the case where you think that the male cats may be 'spray marking the walls' as well...since you'd have to clean this up with an enzymatic cleaner/urine remover, too.
(I think that FeebysOwner mentioned some good ones in their first post.)
How To Remove Cat Urine – Cat Articles
How To Solve Litterbox Problems In Cats: The Ultimate Guide – Cat Articles

What your female cat is doing by hissing and growling is totally normal, because her territory is being invaded by these 'newcomers'...but she will come to accept them, over time, and with your help...if you begin the intros...using food, treats, and play.
Basically you're just going to be lessening all the cats' 'fight or flight' responses, lessening their fear...and building up their confidence with food, play, and treats.

I know you said that space is limited, but can your place be divided into different rooms...or different areas...that can be partitioned off with baby gates, storage screens, or screen door/mesh?
If you can use different zones in your home, then that will help in getting all the cats eventually used to the entire area.
There are some more ideas in this thread, about barriers:
https://thecatsite.com/threads/door-blockade-for-cats-getting-to-know-each-other.406100

I know I overloaded you with a lot of information.
So just take your time, and read when you feel like it. You don't have to do it all at once.
Just remember that each day gets easier, with cat introductions...and by observing your cats, you'll get to know their cues, as to when to go on to the next steps in the process.

No, I totally appreciate the information overload! I think I need to get some baby gates as soon as my girl and the friendly male are ready to meet. We had one day so far with no hissing or growling which I consider a success!

Before the move, the two males were friendly. They are brothers but they are not overly attached to each other. Sometimes they would play, sometimes totally ignore each other. Typical bros, haha.

 

[leahbasford]

If I understand L leahbasford correctly, there is only one extra bedroom which the two male cats are sharing. I am not sure how one would start intros with the female and one male while the other male is hiding under the bed - without it impacting/involving the hiding cat, and making him even further upset. Partitioning off part of that room is still going to have an affect on the hiding cat. Even if there was another room available, or another way to segregate space, I don't think it would be a good idea to separate the two males from one another until the hiding cat is more comfortable in his new home.

It is a truly sticky situation!

Yes it is!

 

[leahbasford]

Oh, I see your point.
But I thought that the males were in the extra bedroom, while the female may have been in the master bedroom?

I was not thinking of partitioning off part of the male cats' room....but rather partitioning off a hallway, kitchen, living room etc.

The hiding cat has to be left alone...and in peace....until he is more confident and comfortable.
But the braver male, can be part of the introduction process....but you are right...only if other 'safe spaces' can be made.

Maybe if L leahbasford comes back....she will be able to answer the layout of the place...rooms...and spaces available.

FeebysOwner ...Why do you think that the two males have to remain in the same bedroom?

So, here is the layout of the house. Downstairs there is a living room, kitchen and dining room area, and a small half bath. There is a basement where my girl's litter box is but it does get a little chilly down there so I would prefer not to keep her down there. Upstairs there are just two bedrooms and a full bath. The new boys are in the extra bedroom and my boyfriend has been sleeping in there with them to help them feel more comfortable. Maybe that is not the best idea?

My girl has been allowed to just go about her business throughout the house. We put her up in the other bedroom when the friendly kitty wants to come out in the hall or go smell her door. He has been trying to escape the last couple of days so we're letting him explore a little.

Is that wrong?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Neither of the above approaches are wrong. And, if when you allow braver cat to roam a bit, it isn't upsetting hiding cat then maybe my concern about separating them for periods of time is unfounded!!

 

[leahbasford]

If the two cats are buddies, and get along well, then I figured the non-hiding male cat is serving as a bit of a support-system to the hiding cat. Until the hiding cat becomes more comfortable, I would personally hate to see them separated. They would have to be separated somehow for an intro process to start with the female, who I am guessing has full reign to the entire house since she is the resident cat and really shouldn't be confined to a smaller space if possible.

One thing we certainly need to ask L leahbasford is to give us their names (and some pics too)!!!!

Yes, she has been just going about her normal routine. I do put her away in the other bedroom when the friendly male wants to explore upstairs a bit.

Also, their names are Coraline (Coral), Dexter (cat hiding under the bed), and Bandit! Coral is the calico, Dexter is the larger brother (and usually much more outgoing), and Bandit looks like he has a mask on.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Thanks for their names and pics!! Adorable kitties! And, now I can stop referring to them as braver cat, hiding cat, and the female!!!!

 

[leahbasford]

Thanks for their names and pics!! Adorable kitties! And, now I can stop referring to them as braver cat, hiding cat, and the female!!!!

Haha! I'm so used to it by now I might just change their names.